"We have to do something about this. Take some kind of precautions to make sure I can't hurt her again. God, if I did any real damage, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
He nodded. "I'll just have to keep her with me. Make sure she's not out of my sight again."
"Oh, yeah, and you've made that a real possibility." He shot her a look.
"Come on, Lou, you gotta admit, you fucked up. At least when I tear into her I'm out of my mind. You manage to do it in your normal waking state."
"I didn't tear into her."
"You cut her heart right out of her chest. Don't even pretend you don't realize that at this point."
He closed his eyes, and she saw real pain in his face. "I'll fix it."
"You'd better."
* * *
Chapter 18
The knock on her door came as Max was tossing her stuff into a suitcase. She never broke her pace, just called, “Go away."
"Max, it's me,” Stormy said. "I'm alone. Let me in."
She stopped packing long enough to turn to the mirror, knuckle her eyes dry. Then she went to the door and checked through the peephole. Not that she thought Stormy would try to trick her, but it didn't hurt to make sure. Then she flipped the lock and unfastened the chain.
Stormy came inside, met her eyes, then hugged her hard. "I'm sorry, honey."
"Hell, don't be. This has been a long time coming."
"I wasn't talking about you and Lou. That game is far from over, anyway." She nodded at the suitcase on the bed. "What are you, forfeiting and going home?"
Max rolled her eyes and sat on the bed. "If you weren't talking about me and Lou, then what are you apologizing for?"
"For beating the hell out of you last night:' "You didn't—"
"Don't bother denying it, Max. I figured out what had happened all by myself, then tricked Lou into confirming it for me. And don't blame him for that. You've got his head spinning so bad he doesn't know which way is up."
Max sighed, hardly knowing which part of that little speech to address first.
"I'm really sorry I hurt you, Max,” Stormy said, choosing for her.
"You didn't hurt me. That wasn't you last night. It was someone else."
"Or something else." She shrugged. "Either way—" "Don't torture yourself over this, Stormy. It wasn't you. We both know it."
Stormy closed her eyes, lowered her head. When she brought it up again and looked at Max, she said, “So you're leaving?"
Max looked at her suitcase. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
"It's not like you to give up. I thought `never surrender' was your second-most ironclad motto, right after `trust no one.
"Used to be. Hell, Storm, I think I've been deluding myself all this time. Had myself convinced he really loved me, deep down."
"And now you think you were wrong?"
"Now I know I was wrong."
"Because he made love to you, and it was awful?" Max swung her eyes to Stormy's. "It was wonderful. I told you that." "Right. Then it's because he asked you to marry him?"
"Hell, he didn't ask. He just threw it out there, said it was the reasonable thing to do. Acted as if he'd been backed into a corner by a tiger and it was the only escape route."
"And you think he really feels that way?"
"Yeah. I do."
"I disagree. But all that is beside the point, anyway. You can't just leave, not with Delia and Janie still missing. Jason's counting on you."
She lowered her head. "I know that. And you are, too."
"Don't stay on my account. Hell, getting away from me might be the best move you could make about now."
Maxine frowned. "What are you talking about? Hell, Storm, I assumed if I packed my shit and stomped home, you'd stomp home right beside me. You telling me I'm wrong about that?"
Stormy looked up at the ceiling. "I have to stay here."
"For the girls?"
She brought her gaze level with Max's again, and her eyes were dead serious. "No. I think whatever's wrong with me is somehow linked to this place." She made a face. "Sounds so freakin' stupid, doesn't it? I've never been here before in my life, I don't know anyone here, and yet—"
"No, it doesn't sound stupid. It makes some kind of sense,” Max said. "It's worse near the shore, near the ocean. But only here, not so much back in Easton ."
Stormy nodded.
"Don't let this freak you, hon, but… that vampire put in an appearance last night. When you first lost it, it almost seemed like you were…trying to protect him."
"Protect him from what?"
"From me."
Stormy frowned hard. "There's no way I could be linked to a vamp. I'm mortal. One hundred percent mortal. I don't even have that Belladonna Antigen in my blood—you said only people with that could become vamps, right?"
"Right. The vamps call them `The Chosen.' They watch over them, bond with them, though they rarely make contact until and unless they decide to…change them."
"So there's no reason—no possible way there could be any…any bond between me and this crazy vampire. Hell, none of this makes sense." She bit her lip.
"But?"
Stormy looked up.
"I sense a `but' there. Come on, Storm. Talk to me. What else don't I know?"
Stormy closed her eyes. "I saw his face. Before we ever came here, I saw his face inside my mind. That same face those women drew. How could that be, Max?"
Max got to her feet, turned to her suitcase, started taking items out of it and returning them to the dresser drawers. "That settles it. I'm not going anywhere until we get to the bottom of this."
Stormy started to argue. "Our mission here is about the girls. That's where you need to focus, not on me and my impending nervous breakdown"
"Don't bother,” Max said, before Stormy could get another word out. "I've made up my mind. The thing is, I'm through with the whole cautious approach here. I'm done messing with that egomaniac vamp, and I'm done tiptoeing around this town. We're getting to the bottom of what's wrong with you, and we're getting those girls the hell off that island. Today."
"How?"
Max dropped the last item into a drawer, slammed it closed and turned to face Stormy. "I've got a few ideas."
"What kind of ideas?" Stormy's eyes widened almost before she finished the question. "You're not thinking of going out to that island alone, are you?"
"Of course not,” Max said, though she had every intention of doing just that—at the very first opportunity. She couldn't take Stormy out there—that island was no place for her. Max sensed it to her core—besides, that was exactly what the vamp wanted. Oh, they would try to get out to the island today, but she had no doubt another storm would crop up when they did. Which meant she was going to have to go by night. Without Stormy. And right now, she didn't want Lou going along with her, either.
Time to change the subject. "I was thinking more along the lines of hypnosis."
Stormy tilted her head to one side. "You mean for me."
"Yeah. Don't act like you weren't thinking it, too. I saw that card in your shopping bag with the books the other night."
Sighing, Stormy didn't deny it. "I was talking to a woman in one of the bookstores. She told me this woman, Martha Knoxville, is supposedly very good. Spotless reputation. I was toying with the idea."
"So?"
"Jesus, Max, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of putting my mind into the hands of a stranger. Someone whose name I picked out of a stack of cards in a bookstore."
"Honey, your mind is in the hands of someone or something you didn't pick at all. And if you are linked somehow to this vampire, maybe hypnosis can tell us more about him."
"I don't know." Stormy looked around the room, almost as if she expected to find someone there, lurking in the shadows. "I'm scared, Max."
Max shrugged. "Hell, if you don't want to do it, never mind. I'll think of something else."
Stormy thought it over. "Suppose I say something I
shouldn't while I'm under? I mean, I can't be babbling about vamps to an outsider, Max."
"If that happens, we chalk it up to delusions—mention the recent head injury and go on our way." "You think she'd buy it?"
"I don't know. What other options do we have?" Max asked.
"We could go to a vampire." Stormy blurted it quickly, probably without thinking it through first. "They can read minds, probe and poke around inside people's heads. Dante could do it. By now maybe Morgan can, as well, and that Sarafina—she must be good at it."
"Sarafina doesn't speak to our side of the…family. Not since my sister stole her precious Dante from her." Max sighed. "Besides, it could be dangerous to bring any of them here."
"We don't have to bring them here, or even tell them what's going on. We just go to them. Ask them to take a look around in my belfry, see what sorts of bats they stir up."
Max sighed. "If one of them reads your mind, Storm, they're going to know what's happening here without us having to tell them. And they're going to insist on coming out here to help."
She nodded slowly. "So if this vamp is a dangerous one…"
"I'd be putting my sister, the man she loves and their friends in harm's way,” Max said.
Stormy nodded. "Okay. Okay. Let's just call this chick and make me an appointment. Meanwhile, I think we need to at least try to get out to that island, don't you? By day, when it's safe?"
"Great minds think alike,” Max said. "But I don't think you should go. It's bad for you."
"I knew that's what you were up to. Don't think for one minute I'm letting you go out there alone, Max."
Max rolled her eyes. "You'd be risking another episode."
"Yeah? Well, do me a favor and be ready this time. Kick my ass, hold me down, and make whoever is looking out through my eyeballs tell you who they are and what they're doing in my body."
Max nodded, but she didn't like it.
"We should bring Lou. Jason, too. Just in case I go off on you, Max. I don't want to risk hurting you again. Especially not out there."
Shaking her head, Max said, “I was planning to send Lou home to White Plains after breakfast."
Stormy's eyebrows rose in two arches. "You really have given up on him, haven't you? God, Max, what happened? I never thought you'd stop wanting Lou."
"I never wanted him like this. Served up like a goddamn martyr marching bravely to the pyre. Forget it. I'm better than that, and I deserve better than that."
She turned away as she spoke, ducking her friend's perceptive, probing eyes.
"You're right,” Stormy said. "You do deserve better. It would be a lot easier to walk away and go looking for it if you weren't head over heels in love with the freakin' idiot, though, wouldn't it?"
Max sniffled a little, nodded. "A hell of a lot easier,” she agreed.
"He won't leave, you know. You can try to send him home, but he won't leave."
"Probably not. But only because he thinks we're in danger."
"And because he cares."
"Not the way I want him to,” Max said. "He cares like a chivalrous, protective, hero cop cares. Like a favorite uncle—the good kind. Like a father figure. Not like a lover."
"I don't think he knows how he cares. I really don't."
Max shrugged. "I think he knows. I'm the one who's been in denial." Then she got up and gave her head a shake. "Listen to me going on about my love life—or lack thereof—when you're going through all this hell. Where's that card? We need to call and make you that appointment."
Stormy came to her, extracted the card from her pocket and handed it over.
Max reread it. Martha Knoxville, Certified Hypno-therapist.
"She's only an hour away,” Stormy said. "What do you think?"
"I think you're taking a road trip. It'll do you good to get out of this town."
"And you good to get away from Lou?"
Max nodded, though she had no intention of accompanying Stormy to the session. She was damn well going to pay that vampire on the island a visit find out just what the hell it was he wanted from her. She was finished waiting. He wanted her on that damn island? Well, fine. She would go there. But she wouldn't be unprepared. And she wouldn't drag her best friend into danger. Maybe she could take Stormy away, get her in to see this hypnosis lady, then slip away and come back here without her. Stormy would never forgive her, but it would be worth it to end this thing.
She handed the card back to Stormy. "Call her. See if she has an opening today."
Nodding, Stormy picked up the phone.
Lou didn't know how he'd messed things up as thoroughly as he had. He only knew he hated this new state of affairs. Max was as cold and distant as if he'd kicked her favorite puppy. Not hostile, just…stony.
She and Stormy joined him and Jason at the shore, where he'd walked to check out the little boat. It was a gorgeous day, warm and sunny. No one would suspect a vampire might be lurking nearby. Not with the sun beaming down and the trees all green, budding, blossoming.
"It's not going to work, Lou,” Max said. She was close to him. God, everything in him wanted to turn around and pull her against him, kiss her anger away. But for some asinine reason, he resisted the impulse.
Instead he straightened. "The boat's sound. I don't see why—"
"Look."
She was pointing. He turned to look where she was looking and saw a mass of roiling black clouds gathering in the distance. Right before his eyes the sky went darker. Thunder rolled slowly over the sea toward them. The wind picked up.
"He told me last night he would never allow us to come to that island by day. But I have another idea."
"Yeah?"
She nodded. "Storm and I are driving down to Salem this morning."
Lou frowned at her. "What's in Salem ?"
"I'm going to see a hypnotist,” Stormy said. "See if she can figure out what's going on inside my head these days." Lou looked out at the ocean. The storm hovered there, as if in waiting. He looked again at the boat and would have sworn the wind whipped up at that precise moment, harder than before. The thunder's dull rumble became a roar.
He almost rolled his eyes but managed to kill the urge before he pissed Max off even more. "Do you really think a hypnotist can help, Storm?"
"It can't possibly hurt,” she said. "Besides, Max thinks it's a good idea. And I trust her."
Lou shot a look at Max, but she was deliberately not looking at him. "I do, too. It's just—it seems like a waste of time. We could be here, canvassing more of the locals."
"You will be here. Storm and I are going to Salem alone."
Lou felt rebuffed but tried not to show it. "I think your car keys are still in my room,” he said. "Walk back with me and I'll get them for you."
He saw the look she shot Stormy, but decided not to try to interpret it, just turned and started toward his room. She caught up with him a few steps later. He glanced sideways at her. "I'm sorry, Max."
"For what, Lou?"
Sighing, knowing damn well he wasn't going to come up with the right answer, he decided it would be better to do this privately. He picked up the pace, not speaking again until they were back at the motel. He opened his door, then held it for her. She went in, and he followed.
"I never meant to hurt you, Max. Hell, that's the last thing in the world I would want to do. You know that, don't you?"
She turned around to face him, looked up at him. "I know. Look, this isn't your fault. You can't help how you feel. You've been telling me all along that you didn't want that kind of a relationship with me. I should have listened."
Her words registered in his brain as the ones he'd been wanting to hear her say for a long time. And they landed like shards of razor-edged glass. They cut him. Why?
"I knew if we slept together it would change everything. And I didn't want that to happen. But, Max, it was special. It meant something to me, don't think it didn't."
She sighed. "It isn't the sex that's changed things. It's
the fact that I finally got the message. And that would have happened, sooner or later, sex or not."
"I don't know what message it is you think I gave you, but—"
She held up a hand. "Look, just give me some time, okay? I've been living with this fantasy so long, I hardly know what to do now that it's gone."
Her voice broke a little on the last few words. It killed him to realize just how deeply he'd hurt her. "What fantasy, Max?"
She lowered her head, shook it slowly. "You don't want to hear that. Not now."
"I do. I really do." He reached out for her, and when she swayed out of his reach, he felt as if he'd been kicked in the cojones. She had never avoided his touch before. Never. Hell, she was usually trying to instigate a touch.
She paced away slowly, oblivious to the fact that he'd even noticed her ducking his hand. "For years I've managed to convince myself that deep down, you were in love with me. That you just hadn't realized it, but that sooner or later you would. And that when you did…" She stopped walking, lifted her head, and met his eyes. "It was all so perfect in my mind. We'd be together, work together, and spend every night holding each other. We'd be so damn happy…" She seemed to square her shoulders, and her eyes glittered with tears, delivering another blow, this one catching him squarely in the gut and knocking the wind out of him. "It doesn't matter. I was living in a silly bubble of wishful thinking. The bubble's been burst. My feet are firmly planted in reality now. I'll be okay. I just need a little time to adjust to it."
He didn't know what to say. "I never said I didn't want you. In fact, I thought it was probably pretty obvious to you after last night that I did. Do."
"You want me in spite of yourself. You can't be my casual lover, because you're too guilt-ridden, and you can't be my serious lover, either."
"Jesus, Max, I offered to marry you. You can't get much more serious than that!"
"You don't love me. Do you think I want to spend my life with a husband who only married me because I wore him down?" She lowered her eyes, shaking her head. "You were right all along, Lou. We're gonna have to settle for just being friends."
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