by Alice Ivinya
Little ones. Those little heads of black and white hair flashed back into my mind. But that would mean sleeping with the Prince. I suppressed a shudder at that vast gaping unknown. I just couldn’t think about that right now or I would never be able to look him in the eye tonight.
We finished the dress with time to spare and Ruo took her time filing my nails and weaving a blue topaz diadem into my hair. It felt nice to merely sit and feel the gentle tugs on my scalp. The room fell into peaceful silence, so different to when Elyanna got ready for a ball. But it was hard to ignore the nerves slithering around my stomach and constricting my chest. I had so much to learn and quickly. Ruo found two large silver earrings, not unlike the Queen’s, and fitted them to my ears. Their weight was unfamiliar, but I liked the way they brushed my jaw when I turned my head.
A servant knocked at the door to summon us, and Ruo cupped my elbow to help me stand. She looped her arm through mine and guided me to the hallway behind the black-clad man. Jeremiah had been guarding my door and fell in behind without comment. Even he had dressed up for the occasion in a velvet doublet, and his cheeks were flushed.
“Do you think he’ll like me?” I couldn’t help but whisper to Ruo as we drew near to the hall, though I hated how weak it made me sound.
The woman squeezed my arm. “You look so beautiful, you could win the heart of the Frost King himself. Now try not to fret and enjoy yourself.”
I heard the music long before I reached the Hall doors. The melody of pipes and fiddles was carried down in the swirling smoke that clogged the corridors. Drumbeats vibrated through the flagstones and echoed my pounding heart.
Jian was going to be there, and I needed to make a good impression. In fact, the whole of Stonekeep was going to be there, ready to gape and gossip, and I wasn’t even a real princess. I concentrated on the firm grip of Ruo and took deep breaths. I could do this. This was my home and family now.
The Hall was filled with trestle tables already laden with food. There had to be at least fifty people sat down in front of empty plates waiting to start. Was I late? As I entered, everyone fell silent and stood. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and looked into the central fire, not knowing where else to look. Was I meant to say something? I glanced to Ruo, who had let go of my arm, but was standing tall. She gave me a reassuring smile and wink.
King Zihao’s voice boomed through the flames. “Welcome, Princess Elyanna, to Stonekeep. From now on I see you as my daughter, and request that others see you in the same way. May you find prosperity and joy in these walls.”
A great cheer and a clatter of knives pounding wood made me jump. I curtsied towards the high table and let Ruo lead me to my seat. The King and the Queen sat on their own table facing down the hall. The trestle tables had seats down the outside only, the middle side clear so servants could bring and take the food without leaning over us. This way every guest faced the central fire. My chair was on the end of the right table, the closest position to the King and Queen. Directly opposite me, across the dance floor, sat Prince Jian next to his brother. He briefly met my eye through the smoke, and a cold shiver ran down my spine. He nodded, then turned to Prince Han to converse. My mouth dried. How could I be doing so badly at this already? He didn’t seem to notice my hair or dress or careful makeup. I felt a fool for spending so much of today preparing.
Now I had been announced and seated, everyone started piling their food onto their plates. I felt hot and queasy, so I picked plain bread and vegetables, hoping they would settle my stomach. After I had drunk half a glass of wine, I dared steal a glance at my betrothed again.
Prince Jian was dressed in a fancier version of the dark green and silver military uniform and it fitted him perfectly. Did he ever wear normal clothes? His brother in contrast was dressed in velvets and furs with his shirt ties loose around his neck. Prince Han caught me looking at him and winked. I raised my eyebrows in return to show I wasn't intimidated or willing to flirt, and he chuckled.
I turned my attention back to Jian as he ate his food efficiently with little emotion and tried to think about how I could gain his attention. Some of the nobles and servants had already finished eating and were gathering in the middle of the hall to dance. They joined in a circle around the fire and the music was much wilder and louder than the dances in Hava. Servants linked hands with lords and ladies and there seemed no order. Jian gazed at the dancing blankly while one hand swirled his wine around and around. His brother sat beside him and talked non-stop, not caring that Jian replied with little more than small motions of his head. As a second dance requiring partners started, Han left to ask one of the ladies to dance, but his brother didn’t even glance at me. Surely he would ask me to dance soon?
I sat straight-backed in the chair and tried to look as regal and elegant as Elyanna did at these events. The dances were unfamiliar, and I concentrated on learning the steps, but as the evening wore on, I realized I was wasting my time as Prince Jian showed little interest in dancing. He drank glass after glass and slouched a little in his chair, looking bored and barely acknowledging me. As the dances ticked by, I felt myself color with shame. Surely everyone here would notice he wasn’t interested in his new bride. I was being rejected in front of the world. I pushed my food around my plate and wondered if somebody else would ask me to dance to save my embarrassment. But of course, nobody could dance with the Prince’s betrothed before he did.
I leant to Ruo who had blessedly not left my side, despite the way she tapped her fingers to the music. “Is it custom here for the guest of honor to just watch the dancing?”
Ruo looked awkwardly at Prince Jian. “Well, my lady, there is no obligation to dance or to abstain.”
I leant closer to her. “I don’t think he’s going to ask me.”
She pressed her lips into a firm line. “I’m afraid Prince Jian has never been much of a dancer. He can be quite… serious you see. And maybe he’s concerned you wouldn’t know the dances.”
I frowned at the Prince and decided he was rude and uncaring. “I could ask him to dance?”
Ruo made a little lurch and then inclined her head. “You could, my dear, but it may appear… forward.”
I bit my lip and stared at the brooding man staring at his wine. “Well he can’t just ignore me; we’re supposed to be getting married.”
Ruo lay her hand on my knee. “I should warn you, my dear. Prince Jian is not one to be forced into doing anything he did not intend to.”
The dance changed to a wilder one, the pipes and fiddles speeding up in a frenzy. There was laughter as the dancers struggled to keep up with the pace, and one of the ladies fell over. She didn’t appear at all embarrassed as her partner pulled her up. I used the distraction to my advantage and stood up to walk to the Prince.
His black eyes fixed on me immediately as I approached, but his face remained blank. My mouth dried as my courage evaporated and my pulses thudded in my ears. Was he trying to intimidate me? Or was he this cold to everyone?
I reached his chair and gave a small curtsy. He inclined his head, without dropping his gaze.
I tried to swallow but my mouth was too dry. “I was… er… wondering if you would like to dance?” I attempted a weak smile.
He dropped his gaze and leant forward to place his wine cup on the table. He stood and I took a step back, surprised again at his height. He looked at the wild dance. “You know this one?”
I shook my head.
The corner of his lips twitched, and he raised an eyebrow. “I suggest then that this is not the first one you attempt, my lady.”
I tried not to fidget. “I had hoped you could teach me the next one?”
He gave a slight nod. “As you wish.” He sat back down and picked up his wine again, looking at the dancers. I was left standing awkwardly on my own. I tried not to gape at his rudeness, or look pathetic to any onlookers, and stalked back to my seat. Now he would have to come to me at the start of the dance. I drummed my fingers on my armrest and slumpe
d. How was I going to survive being married to a man like this?
The music finished and I looked over to the Prince. He sighed and stood up, straightening his jacket. I didn’t miss the pointed look the Queen gave him, her lips a firm line.
Prince Jian strode towards me and gave a polite bow, extending his hand. “Would you honor me with this dance, Princess Elyanna.”
“Of course.” I stood and took his hand. I picked up one side of my skirts as I’d seen Elyanna do many times before and tried my best to glide beside him to the dance floor. As we took our place, I felt my cheeks heat, and I focused my eyes on the Prince’s highly polished shoes. I had often danced in Sybera, but the attention had always been on people more important than me. Nobody cared who I danced with and whether I got the steps right. Now, it felt like every eye in the room was trained on me, the stranger. Their new Princess. I raised my eyes to the Prince. His face was smooth and expressionless; I couldn’t read him at all, but his presence felt like a great unstable wave rearing over me.
The music started and I was grateful to hear a slow, steady rhythm with soaring pipes and gentle fiddles. I wondered if they’d done it on purpose when they had seen us take to the floor.
The Prince outstretched his hand, and I took it. Nerves made my mouth run dry. “Are you familiar with this piece?” His voice was casual.
“No, Your Highness.”
“It’s quite simple. Just follow my lead.” His hand tightened around mine and a shiver ran up my arm. He took a step towards me, and again I was struck by his height. He tugged on my arm and I moved to the side, trying to copy the step the other ladies were taking. I looked around for an easy woman to follow.
“Ignore them,” said Prince Jian. “Just focus on me.”
I looked up at his face and wasn’t sure whether to meet that cold gaze or focus elsewhere. I tried to copy his emotionless expression to show he didn’t intimidate me, but I doubted I was convincing. His hand touched my waist and he guided me into a walk of quick steps. He spun me and then his hands were on my back and he was dipping me low to the floor. I clung to his arms, caught off guard and certain he was going to drop me.
A smile flirted around his lips. “Don’t worry, this dance is short, and you’ll finish in one piece.”
I was concentrating too hard to reply.
Slow steps followed, and I tried to feel the rhythm of the music to anticipate them. He performed the footwork exactly, almost ceremoniously, and I was clumsy in comparison. Well, at least I wasn’t going to have a husband who stood on my toes. His hands cupped my waist again and he moved closer. My chest tightened as he surrounded me, and I felt trapped with a strange feeling of vertigo.
Then I was flung away, spinning, held together only by our fingertips. The music ended and I was breathing more heavily than required by the effort of the dance. He let go of my hand and gave a short bow, then strode back to his seat, leaving me standing alone on the dance floor.
A hand took mine as I stared after Prince Jian, and I turned to see who had saved me from complete humiliation. Prince Han was grinning and gave a bow. “May I have this dance?”
I curtsied in return and took his other hand. I sagged in relief at his kindness but couldn’t shake the internal voice that reminded me of the rumors. Crown Prince Han had reputedly murdered his wife in a fit of rage. It was that rumor that had made Elyanna worried she would share the same fate.
The man before me now, however, didn’t seem dangerous at all, beyond his stocky build. He had a broad smile and eyes that were creased with humor. He seemed like the sort of man who would laugh the loudest and longest when in his cups, yet listen to those around him. His long hair was fastened high on his head with a metal band studded with onyx, and strands fell free around his face. A thick silver chain circled his neck.
“Don’t mind my brother. He’s not used to spending time with ladies.” He smirked.
“I wasn’t aware we were that different to talk to. I don’t believe he was overcome by my beauty or feminine wit.”
Prince Han snorted. “He’s not very good with change. Just give him time and he’ll come around.”
I glanced over to his younger brother who was finishing a sweet meat before carefully wiping his hands and leaving the Hall. I guessed that was the end of our introduction then.
“Elyanna?”
I jumped and looked back to Han.
He raised an eyebrow. “Are you wanting to dance, or just block all the other dancers?” I realized the music had started.
I mumbled an apology and let his large hands guide me through the dance. He was much freer than Jian. His steps weren’t precise, but I could tell he could feel the pull and passion of the music. I tried to smile and enjoy myself, but my thoughts kept turning to the coldness in my betrothed’s eyes and the niggle of fear and fury that awoke in my stomach. If the real Elyanna had been here, she would have torn the place down at the slight. Maybe the only way I would be happy was to ignore him altogether.
“Why am I here?” I whispered, almost to myself as the music wound down. “If he doesn’t have any interest in me.”
Han sighed and led me back to the tables, taking a seat. “Don’t be too harsh on him, he hadn’t intended to marry either.”
I gave him a questioning look as Han poured us both wine. “The Border has drained our resources, and that is partially his fault. He didn’t have any choice but marriage, really, if he was to continue maintaining what he has started. It was Mother’s decision for Jian to marry you in return for coin and trade. Women have always been far from his mind, but I’m sure he’ll warm to the idea.” He grinned with a childish gleam in his eyes and took a deep drink of wine.
I sipped my own wine and grimaced at its sourness before slumping back in my chair. Havan wine was always rich and sweet. I couldn’t shake the feeling I would never belong here.
That night I tossed in bed and my chest ached with loneliness. I yearned for the familiar pale halls and faces of Hava and the warmth of the golden autumn sunshine there. I thought of Elyanna and attempted to suppress the wave of hatred that poured over me.
What had Falada said?
‘Don’t hold this hate within yourself because of the hate she bears herself. Be free of it. She only poisons herself.’
His words were true, and I knew I didn’t want to live a bitter life, but I also couldn’t forgive her or Queen Geraldina for doing this to me. But thinking about either of them wasn’t going to help me now.
But Falada might.
I slipped out of bed and found the thick robe of furs. I tied up my leather boots and found some gloves buried in the bottom of my wardrobe. Jeremiah was leaning against the wall beside my door, his head sagging, and he jumped a full foot as I opened it, his hand going to his sword.
I giggled and looked around to see if he was alone. “Why aren’t you in bed?” There were no fires in the corridor and my breath misted in the moonlight. “You must be frozen.”
He straightened. “Well, you should have a guard at all times, Your Highness, and I haven’t managed to form a trustworthy unit yet.”
“When will you sleep?”
“At midday, Your Highness. I figured you would be less likely to be attacked when people were around.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you, Jeremiah, but I doubt anyone is going to attack me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know that, my lady, and the worst people always come at night.”
I pulled my cloak tighter. “I will bring this up with the Queen tomorrow and ask her to put a guard under your control. You really should have time to rest.” I headed down the corridor towards the courtyard.
His boots slapped against the flagstones as he caught up. “Where are we going, Highness?”
“I can’t sleep. I wish to talk to Falada.”
“Your horse? It’s past midnight!”
“He’s not just a horse, Jeremiah, he’s my closest friend. Besides there will still be people awake from the
banquet.”
He didn’t argue further but followed through the squares of moonlight thrown from the windows. I rounded a corner and found myself in an unexpected corridor. I must have taken a wrong turn in the dark. So much of this castle looked the same. I turned to ask Jeremiah which way we should go when I heard a voice. It was faint but firm. I crept forward and recognized the authoritative lilt of Queen Fei. I traced it to a closed door, treading carefully so as not to make a sound. When I heard Jian’s solemn voice in reply, I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer. I leant my ear as close to the door as I dared and hoped Jeremiah wouldn’t judge me too harshly.
I jumped as a hand clamped down on my shoulder. I spun, but it was only the squire handing me a cup. I looked at it in confusion.
He grinned. “You have a lot to learn if you’re going to do this,” he whispered. “Place the rim to the door and you will hear better.”
I did as he said and was amazed at how clear the voices became. I made a mental note never to say anything private in my rooms if Jeremiah was outside.
The Queen sounded exasperated. “What is wrong with you, Jian? Do you object to her in some way? Is she not pretty enough? Not got the right hair or eyes or something ridiculous like that?” Her voice was heavy with sarcasm, and I almost winced on the Prince’s behalf.
“Mother, I simply don’t have the time or patience for this. I’m needed at the Border. There are people dying while we sit and drink wine and dance. I don’t need a distraction, however pretty.”
“You’re needed here, right now. Don’t you understand that marrying this girl and securing our alliance with Sybera will help at the Border? We need more money and trade to fund all the defense projects you have instigated. Sitting and drinking and particularly dancing is what will save lives.”
“I’ve agreed to marry her, haven’t I? That’s the alliance sealed. I don’t want to give her false expectations, and I don’t understand why this has to take so long.”
My heart sank. False expectations? A trickle of fear chilled my spine. Elyanna had never liked me and had made my life miserable. Surely getting Jian to like me would be the easiest way to protect myself from both him and others? But how would I be safe if I couldn’t win him over? I had to make myself valuable in some way so I didn’t end up like Lady Hesta.