by Alice Ivinya
I stood only a few centimeters from him and joined him in his vigil, keeping as still as I could and resisting my body’s need to shiver. Softly, I let a song drift from my lips, the same song I had sung at my grandmother’s pyre. It was an ancient song of Thrum’ban, but I suspected it would serve a son of Sal’hadar just as well. Jian didn’t stop me, so I let the notes take on more power and volume, the song of mourning and happy memories and future hope. Of winter stealing life, but not forever. Of kings long sleeping in stone tombs, but never forgotten, until their barrows shaped the land.
I glanced at Jian and he was still unmoving, but a tear bled from the corner of his eye. He refused to blink it away or let his mask fall. Why did he hide everything away? I finished the last line of the song, the eerie notes echoing from the bare stone walls. I held my breath and slowly took his hand with numb fingers, ready to pull it back if he reacted badly. His fingers twitched, and then he interlocked his icy fingers with mine. His hand moved easily despite the chill of the room, and his palm was rough. Nerves tingled down my arm to my heart and I stared forward, struggling to keep my breathing steady. I was acutely aware of his closeness and the way his presence swamped mine.
I fished around my head for something to say, but nothing seemed right. I squeezed his hand instead, hoping it wouldn't come across as foolish. Already it felt warmer in his grasp and easier to move my fingers. His breath shuddered as more tears broke free and streamed down his face. He didn’t seem like the aloof, cold prince anymore, merely a man grieving for the second sibling he had lost. I hoped my presence was a comfort, even if it was a small one. At last he let go of my hand and wiped his face with a handkerchief.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “For the song.”
He turned and left me standing alone in the cold, my heart still thundering in my ears, and my hand still warm from his touch.
I returned to my rooms and bit back tears. Prince Jian’s pain had been obvious, but I didn’t feel like I could intrude anymore. He most likely wished to be alone.
Ruo handed me a cup of hot mulled wine to warm my fingers and stoked up the fires.
I studied the small cuts in my palm where I had dug in my nails. “Do we know how they died yet?” I asked, my throat raw.
“No, dear. Though I heard there were signs of a fight. There will be an investigation.” She came over and patted my hand. “Don’t worry about that for now. You have much to concentrate on yourself. This will be a big change for you and Prince Jian.”
I blinked at her without comprehension and then it hit me. If Crown Prince Han was dead, Prince Jian would be the new heir to the throne. If we married, I would become queen of the Borderlands. My heart pounded with shock mixed with terror. This was not the life I had been prepared to live. Would they still want me to marry him? They didn’t seem like the sort of people who would change their minds. Gone were all hopes of living a life of freedom whilst Jian spent months at the Border. I would have to rule alone when he was absent, and Jian would have to base his life around Stonekeep and leave his forts behind. His life was here now, and I had the feeling he was as ill-prepared for this role as I was. But maybe this was the purpose and role I was looking for.
I looked at my maid with wide eyes. “I can’t be queen, Ruo. I don’t know what to do.”
She smiled at me and placed another book in my hands. “Yes you do. You are the daughter of a queen and have the Old Blood in your veins. You know what to do. Start with the stories.”
So I curled up in front of the fire and read.
When my eyes were heavy and Ruo had left for the night, I wrote to Queen Geraldina. She would want to know this news as soon as possible and would be angry if I didn’t inform her. Her supposed daughter was about to become joint heir to the Borderland throne. The Borderlanders would be surprised if I didn’t tell her and may have already noticed my lack of letters. I signed it Elyanna just in case it was intercepted but hoped nobody else would read it. I gave it to Jeremiah to find a rider and hoped the snows wouldn’t hinder its path.
7
The Border
I was stretching my back after finishing embroidering Jian’s cloak when there was a sharp knock on the door. I frowned at Ruo who opened it and dropped into a curtsy. Prince Jian entered and I stood up in shock, knocking the drinks table and causing the cups to rattle. I hid the cloak behind me.
He bowed, and I returned with a shallow dip. “Princess Elyanna, I came to tell you I am leaving for the Border. I must speak to those who may know what happened to Han and his men. I should go now before the trail becomes cold. My father is leaving with men to search the area of the attack, but my mother will remain here, and you will have enough men to keep you safe.” He didn’t meet my eyes. His grief was carefully contained within emotionless efficiency, but a darkness weighed over him.
I took a step towards him. “Take me with you. Let me help.”
He shook his head, his brows lowering. “It is too dangerous. I wouldn’t be able to vouch for your safety.”
I took another step closer until I was merely a foot away from him. “I am not afraid.”
His eyes flashed, meeting mine for the first time and my stomach dropped. “You have never been faced with death.”
I wet my lips, my heart pounding. “I need to see, Prince Jian. I need to understand if... if I am to be… to be queen. How can I help you rule if I haven’t seen what we protect the world against? I will have nobody’s respect.”
I saw the battle in his eyes, the twitch in his jaw. I saw I had a chance and leapt for it.
“You can’t keep yourself at a distance from me if we are going to learn to work together. Our country will suffer if we can’t be united as king and queen.”
His eyes traced my face for a moment and I held his stare. “Fine. But you must never leave my side unless you are in your room. You will be cold and uncomfortable; the food is stale and many of the men and women are uncouth. The ride will be hard, and we won’t have time to slow for you.”
A thrill of excitement shot through me. “I won’t get in the way, I promise.”
“Ruo will have to remain here. Your bodyguard may come but will be under my command.”
I bit my tongue at the way he ordered me around like a child. Now was not the time to argue.
He stared at my face for a moment longer, and I feared he was going to change his mind. There was a vulnerable tilt to his lips and a heavy weight seemed to lie on his shoulders. The weight of a kingdom and thousands of lives. I wanted to help him and feel useful, but I wasn’t sure how.
“When do we leave?”
He dropped his gaze. “One hour. Bring no luxuries, just your sword and warm clothes. We must travel light.”
I nodded but he was already leaving the room. I turned to Ruo and clapped my hands. “He said yes! I’m going to the Border.”
Her face was grim. “That you are, my dear, and it is a hard life there. We must get you prepared.” She hurried to our pile of embroidery in one corner. “You can take the blankets and boots with you. I’ll write a letter for Chen.”
My heart pounded so hard, it felt like it was bruising my ribs. I took Falada’s reins from the stable boy who was lunging him in a trot around the ring as a warm-up. Apparently, Jian had meant it when he had said we would ride hard. We would canter from the start.
Jeremiah grabbed my hand as I led Falada towards the rest of the group. I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise. He leaned close so his words wouldn’t be overheard. “You realize you don’t have to go to the Border? This won’t be a pleasant ride.”
I freed my hand before anyone could see. “Yes. It’s my choice. I want to understand why this place is so important to Jian, and so many others.”
“I just…” He looked down to the floor.
I tried to catch his eyes. “Jeremiah, what’s wrong? If you don’t want to come, you can stay here if you wish.”
His face came up and his eyes flashed. “No. No, I would follow you an
ywhere as your guard. I just wanted to check you were comfortable doing this. You’re doing a lot for a man who is so rude to you. You’ve never been to a war front before.”
I gave him a quizzical look. “This is my own wish, Jeremiah. Now hurry for your horse or you’ll be left behind.”
He gave a vague nod and hurried away. I watched him for a moment then shook my head to clear it. I supposed riding to a cold dangerous border wasn’t exactly something Elyanna would have done. Maybe he was worried Jian had forced me into this.
I tied the blankets and my own belongings to the saddle. I had more than the soldiers around me, but Falada was stronger than the other horses, so I didn’t fear falling behind. I saw Captain Cheng Jun checking the bags on two pack horses and felt a little jealous he was coming too. Jian always seemed to choose talking to him over me. The previously clean-shaven man had allowed stubble to grow on his cheeks, and I wondered if it was to protect his face from the cold.
“We’re going to the Border, Falada.” I pulled myself into the saddle.
‘I hear it’s cold up there, and the stables are small.’ Despite his words I could feel the bound-up excitement tensing his muscles, yearning for release.
“It won’t be for long. Maybe we will see some true Spirit-Beasts.”
Falada gave an insulted snort.
Jeremiah was still retrieving his horse, but Hai Rong and Cai Hong rode up to either side of me. There was a grimness to both of them, but Hai Rong still managed a smile.
“Ready to see the delights of the north, Princess?”
I studied them both. They wore their armor beneath layers of furs and had small packs on their saddles. “I’m sorry that I’m taking you away from your families after all.”
Hai Rong shrugged. “It won’t be for long. Cai Hong might actually sleep better in the Fort than he does at home with his baby.”
The second guard snorted, the red strand that tied his hair drifting in the cold wind. “That would be something. I can’t deny I’d travel past the Border itself right now, alone and horseless, if I could get some sleep.”
Hai Rong laughed, but it sounded forced and discordant. I wondered if they had both lost friends in the group that had ridden with Prince Han. It seemed everyone knew everybody here.
Prince Jian rode up to our group, surprising me. He looked me up and down and the bundle tied to Falada. I left like a new soldier being inspected by their officer. “Are you ready?”
I gave him a confident look. “Yes.”
He nodded and his gaze lingered on my face, his expression unreadable. My lips parted and I was about to question what he was staring at, when he looked away and raised his fist. The gates of the castle wall opened, and the horses streamed out. Falada sprang forward, and I had to tug on the reins to slow him before he could race ahead. I turned and saw Jeremiah already behind, spurring his horse on to catch up.
We clattered through the town and over the bridge into the endless pine forest.
The snow thickened the further north we went, and Jeremiah and I stood out more than I had expected. Not only was it our hair color, Jeremiah’s curls and our accents, but also how obvious it was that everyone else had traveled fast and camped in freezing cold conditions before. I had wanted to seem tough and capable but realized I was going to need help with many things. Thankfully Cai Hong and Hai Rong seemed to be expecting this and were quick to stop Jeremiah from trying to drive tent pegs into the frozen ground and point out that camping beneath a skeletal tree, which we had both thought sensible for shelter, was not the best idea since the windblown snow was accumulating along that side. They showed us how to lay pegs horizontally and pack snow over them, or stuff bags with snow to anchor points, and build a little wall of snow around the edges of the tent.
It was a three-day ride to the Eastern Pass and every night Jian inspected my tent before I slept. I wasn’t sure if it was a test or out of duty to protect me, but it made me feel a little safer before I crawled into the narrow space and shivered the night away.
The scenery, however, became more and more dramatic the further north we went. I had never seen mountains as tall as the ones before us, and their white slopes reflected every color of the sun. Our own path became steeper, resulting in stunning views down hidden valleys and frozen lakes. Rolling hills of snow, each a different shade of white depending on how well they caught the sun, and how many clouds dragged their shadows over the trees.
After our first day on the road, houses and villagers became scarce, and I guessed nobody wished to live close to the Border. The only buildings were fortified supply points which could provide food and fresh horses. We didn’t stop, however, Jian preferring to camp outside in sheltered dips where there were already built up fire pits left to be uncovered, and cooking pots under wooden trap doors in the ground. How they managed to find them under the snow, I couldn’t fathom.
Even though Falada coped easily with trotting through the snow, every one of my muscles ached. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt my fingers or my toes, even when sitting by the fire. The castle of Stonekeep was warm and luxurious compared to this. Still, my excitement to see the Border was undimmed, and the growing horizon of majestic mountains only amplified it. I was sure this must be the most beautiful place in the world.
On the third day of travel, I noticed that all the men were on edge, and I adjusted my sword in its sheath periodically as we rode so they wouldn’t freeze together. The tracks of animals crossed our path, and it was clear, even to me, that they were far bigger than normal.
I pointed to a track of bear paw prints, that were half again as big as any I had ever seen, and turned to Hai Rong. The hood of his fur coat was pulled so far forward, I could barely make out his face. “Does this mean Spirit-Beasts have broken through the Border.”
He grinned at me, his teeth white in the shadows of his hood. “No, Highness. The ones who are pure Old Blood are bigger. Much bigger. Many of the animals here have traces of the Blood, and are larger this close to the Border. But they are mostly dumb animals. When you meet a pure Old Blood for yourself, you’ll see the difference.”
Falada snorted and shook his mane. ‘The man underestimates them. No animal that large could be called dumb. Their souls are too strong. Besides you can hear the Land’s Song here. It is beautiful and will bless all who honor the earth. Animals will thrive even without the Old Blood.’
His words were cold comfort, and I scanned the trees constantly for giant animals that might be as intelligent as Falada. I couldn’t stop imagining how things had ended for Han and his men. Had giant Beasts stalked and killed them? Wild men? They were still out there, somewhere. My eagerness to reach the Fort was stronger than ever.
“What is the Land’s Song?” I asked to distract myself.
‘It is the Song the Old Magic sings around us. It shows the land is in balance here. It is healthy.’
I nodded and breathed in the fresh air. There was a primordial peace and rightness about this place, and I wondered if that was what he meant. But I could also feel the danger within this wilderness.
I was testing the movement in my fingers, frustrated with how badly they gripped my sword hilt, when Jian pulled up beside me. I looked at him in surprise. He hadn’t talked to me for the entire ride. He was taller than me, but his horse was small enough that our eyes were level. I liked that he couldn’t loom over me when I was on Falada. That bubble of sadness and responsibility still encompassed him and made it hard to know what to say. I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel at ease with him.
“The Fort is just ahead, Princess. Stay close to me, and we’ll find you some suitable rooms. None of them are big. You may need to leave some of your saddle pack in the stables.” He nodded to the rolled-up blankets attached to my saddle.
I patted the roll. “Oh, don’t worry about this. It isn’t for me. It’s the blankets that Ruo’s friends made for the men for winter, and boots for her son. I was going to hand them out. There are some gl
oves too and I brought letters.” And the cloak I’d made for him, but now was not a good time to untangle that from the rest.
Jian tilted his head in surprise. “They will welcome those. It was a good idea to bring them.”
I grinned at the first compliment he’d ever given me, then felt foolish for letting it affect me so much. “I thought maybe I could help repair clothes while I was here too?”
He nodded, and I noticed ice crystals had formed on the ends of his fringe, swinging in the breeze. “Every man knows how to repair his belongings, but some may need more help than others.”
His posture seemed relieved, and I guessed it was because it sounded like I was going to keep out of trouble. I hoped I would be allowed to explore a little.
His attention returned to my saddle. “So if that bundle is for the men, where are your belongings?”
I patted a leather bag behind me.
He raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?”
I frowned. If I was under-prepared it was his fault. “You said to travel light.”
The corner of his lip twitched. “I did.” His eyes creased with amusement. “I just hope you realize how hard it is going to be to wash your clothes.”
I shrugged. “I wasn’t aware I was expected to impress. You’ll have to cope with me looking like the rest of you. You have female soldiers up here, do you not?”
He gave me one of his long probing looks that I couldn’t interpret and seemed to see more than it should, then held up a hand. “One more thing. Tama’ha is coming tomorrow. She leads Sal’hadar’s old tribe. The creatures of the forest.” He gave me a warning look and slowed his words. “Don’t let her scare you. If she smells fear, she will seek to control you with her words. Hopefully she won’t notice you at all.”