He had spent his best years in service to the navy. Perhaps now he deserved something for himself. Time to be selfish, to have what he wanted. And that was a future with Edward. He could either spend his life brooding over an old mistake or he could move on and be happy. There really wasn’t a choice.
He stood and smiled. “You should not feel unwelcome in your own garden,” he called.
Edward headed towards him. “I did not want to disturb you. I know you wanted some time on your own.”
“I think I’ve had fifteen years too long on my own.” He held out his hand. “Come here. We have lost too much time already.”
Edward grabbed his hand and pulled him close. “You have been able to find peace with what happened?”
“I cannot promise that I will never be jealous. You will always be a magnet to others, and I reserve the right not to be amused by it. But I will not let a deliberate attempt to keep us apart ruin what we could have.”
“You will have no reason to be jealous.”
Edward sounded so sincere, but there would always be whispers of his past, making some think they could tempt Edward away. “You will attract people by being in the same room.”
“But I will not act on it.” Edward cupped Daniel’s cheek. “Earlier you spoke of your belief that I would ultimately be dissatisfied because of the experiences I have made, but you underestimate yourself. No one has ever come close to replacing you, no one ever will.”
“That does not make my own skills any less inferior. I do not believe for a minute that I can compare to some of the men you have lain with.”
“If this was purely about copulation, then you would be right.”
“I see.” How could he possibly hope to keep Edward happy? Daniel tried step away.
“No you don’t. Once the physical act is over, even the most amazing performance leaves a man bereft when there is nothing more between him and his bed partner.”
Daniel’s limited encounters echoed the same sentiments, leaving him ashamed, hollow, and unlovable. But with Edward that wasn’t the case. He might have concerns about his performance, but waking up in Edward’s arms, lying next to him in a blissful haze, was something he couldn’t replicate or buy from a brothel. “I haven’t felt whole in many years. I hope now that will change.”
Edward pressed his forehead to Daniel’s “I tried to forget you, tried to drown out how I felt, the hurt and the pain, but nothing worked.”
Daniel knew that Edward was who he wanted. He’d never forgotten him; hearing Edward reiterate that it had been the same for him made any residual doubt about whether he could forgive Edward evaporate. “While I need to return to England, my heart will remain here with you.”
“Oh, Daniel. I vow I will keep it safe.”
Daniel leaned in, their lips barely touching. “I have loved you since I was eighteen, and that has not changed.”
He lost himself in the kiss, the garden and everything bleeding away, and he kissed Edward, never wishing to leave his side again.
Chapter Fourteen
Edward reached out, half awake, searching for Daniel. He cracked open an eye as he failed to find the warm body he was expecting next to him in bed. Daniel was sitting in front of the open balcony window, a book resting on his lap, but he wasn’t reading. “Why aren’t you in bed?”
Daniel started. “Good Lord, Edward, give me some warning.”
Edward got out of bed and pulled on his breeches. After yesterday he had thought they’d reached an understanding, but Daniel still looked as if he was carrying the world on his shoulders. Edward stretched, padded over to the window, and sat next to Daniel. “Now tell me what has you out of our lovely warm bed.”
“I was awake and did not wish to disturb you. My thoughts are heavy this morning.”
“Then share them with me and let me carry half their weight.”
Daniel closed the book. “Don’t start thinking I have changed my mind. Quite the contrary; instead, I am trying to find the best way orchestrate my return and juggle the navy and an annoying pirate lover. It is a difficult conundrum, and I fear I am still some way from solving it.”
Daniel was not the only one who had been thinking about their predicament. As much as he would prefer to have Daniel with him here in the Caribbean, he was willing to make any sacrifice to keep them together. Edward leaned in and kissed Daniel gently, his hand firm on the back of Daniel’s neck. “If it came to it, then I would return to England. It would at least remove the pirate problem.”
Daniel scoffed. “How, may I ask, would you explain your miraculous return to your family?”
Edward shrugged. Society loved a good tale, and he could easily give them something they would devour and ask for more. “I could spin a terrible story of heartache and misery. The desperately attractive young gentleman finds himself washed ashore. He has taken a nasty blow to the head and has no memory of who he is and where he has come from except for his Christian name. Only thanks to the dashing and kind Captain Merric, who takes him under his wing, does he manage to survive. Then a few months ago, he takes a tumble from the rigging and wakes and remembers everything.”
Daniel shook his head, but his soft smile seemed to belie his real thoughts. “While I applaud your creativity, we would still have the problem of you getting to England. The Opal is far too recognizable as a pirate’s vessel to sail across the Atlantic, and you could hardly set foot upon a naval ship as all through these waters you are well known as Merric.”
“I am not saying it is an easy option, nor one to attempt first, but if we had exhausted all others then we must try everything.”
“Could you really leave all this behind? This is your home and you love it here.”
“I love you more.” The words left his mouth unthinkingly, but they were the truth. He would do whatever it took have Daniel in his life.
Daniel leaned in and kissed him. “I am sure it will not come to that. I hope to retain my position in the navy and use it to return here.”
“But how likely is it that you will get that chance? They could send you elsewhere.”
“My main concern is they will not retain me at all. I have lost my command, it is something not so easily overlooked.”
Edward knew Daniel was right, but he had to hold on to his hope. “It would be madness to release a man of your character.”
“It may happen, but even if I am not part of the Royal Navy, I may be able to buy passage aboard a ship coming back to the Caribbean. It would take some time to raise the money since I can hardly ask my father for it, but I will find a way.”
“Money is not a problem. I will give you what you need.” He saw Daniel was about to open his mouth, probably to argue. “This is not a matter for discussion. You will take what I give you and use it however you need. Food, clothes, rent, passage—whatever. I will not have you go without or have mere money keep you from me.”
Daniel laughed softly. “I am not penniless.”
“But I have more money than either of us can spend in a lifetime. I will not let anything get in the way of having you back in my arms.”
“Then I will not be so churlish to refuse the money. There is a time for pride and this is not it.”
Edward could sense Daniel’s unease. “I fear I have not settled your mind. You don’t like things to be uncertain—you never have.”
“For the last two weeks I have felt so out of control. The situation on Expedience had been grumbling for a while, but being cast adrift, finding you and now facing an unknown future, it is too much for my thoughts to quieten over.”
“It is only to be expected. But we can plan, put in place contingencies so whatever happens we are ready to face them.”
“But there are too many things that could happen.”
Edward was in no mood to be waylaid. “We can guide them in a particular direction. If Neechals has already left for England, and you follow him to get the justice you deserve, then there are two main things that could tran
spire. First, you are dismissed from the navy and you would need to find passage back to here. Money will not be the issue but explaining your desire to return for no reason might be difficult, and it may not be that easy to get a berth on a ship.”
“I could probably find a merchant ship, but I would need to be lucky. If this were to happen I could send word to you once I know when I would set sail and I when I land at Port Royal.”
“I have a friend who I am sure would gladly act as contact.”
Daniel pursed his lips. “Do I want to know what type of friend this is?”
“Probably not. But he is well-connected and is the best hope to get a message to me without being intercepted.” He thought it prudent not to mention that Jean-Pierre had been an occasional lover.
“You can give me the name and how to reach him, and I will send word once I arrive in England and again when I know what will happen.”
“Good. But we should consider the second possibility: if you are aboard a naval vessel, are you prepared to disappear when you disembark?”
Daniel sighed. “I fear that the Admiralty may send people to search for me.”
“It is likely,” Edward agreed. “They are keen to punish deserters.”
“Like a mutineer, I would forfeit my life if caught, and there would be a ransom on my head which would encourage people to come looking for me—which we would not want. But I think the best option is for me to persuade the Admiralty to let me keep my command. Then I can push to return here to continue where I had left off.”
An idea struck him. “Where you left off was escaping Captain Merric. Listen, we can spin this to our advantage. If I know which ship you are on I can intercept it.”
“The Opal would not stand a chance against a first-rated ship—she’d be blown out of the water before she got close.”
“Then I will kidnap you once you are on land.”
Daniel shook his head. “That would be too dangerous—you would be caught in an instant, and then I’d have to get you out of prison before they hang you. Let us first concern ourselves with getting me back here, we can work the rest out later.”
“We must also make sure that you have you story straight about what happened after you were set adrift.”
“I can hardly tell them the truth.”
Edward knew it was the best he could do for now, but he would have plenty of time to ruminate on the plan. Daniel would be gone for months if, as he had predicted, Expedience had already left for England.
“We will figure something out.” He pulled Daniel to his feet. “We don’t have much left of the week; the Opal will be ready to sail the day after tomorrow.”
“Then we should make the most of it.”
Edward grinned and dragged Daniel back to bed, wanting to make as many memories to fuel his dreams and keep him warm in the months to come.
Chapter Fifteen
Usually Daniel slept better at sea, but as he lay next to Edward, the Opal’s gentle rocking did nothing to help him sleep. Edward had drifted off a few hours earlier, both of them sated after an energetic round of lovemaking, but Daniel stared into the darkness, listening to Edward’s gentle snores.
“Can’t sleep?” asked Edward.
“I thought you were.”
“You’re thinking too loudly. Woke me up.”
“My sincere apologies.”
Edward moved behind him and wrapped his arm around Daniel’s chest. “We’ll need to put you ashore soon if you are too reach land before dawn.”
Daniel leaned back and enjoyed the embrace. “This last week has passed so fast.”
“Whatever happens, Daniel, this isn’t the end.”
He turned in Edward’s arms to face him. “I know. Perhaps we will be lucky and Neechals will be in Port Royal or Spanish Town, then I will return with haste. Once I know, I will send word.”
“I pray you will be back in my arms within the week, but I am resigned for it to be several months.”
Daniel stroked Edward’s beard. They would most likely be apart for many months, and it felt only right, although he did not like it, to mention his suggestion once more. “The offer stands.”
“Offer? Do not speak of that again. I have said I am yours and no other could tempt me. I can no more switch off my desire for you as I can stall a hurricane. I am capable of waiting for something worthwhile.”
He would not say it again. Truth be told, if Edward had accepted his offer, Daniel knew he would have tortured himself with thoughts of who Edward might be with while he was away. Edward was well-loved, he could have his pick of many, and the nameless faces would have driven Daniel slowly mad.
They climbed out of bed; clothes were pulled on between kisses and gentle caresses, each one declaring their devotion more mere words couldn’t hope to convey. Daniel didn’t need to hear them, he knew what he felt and that those feelings were returned.
He reached into the pocket of his coat and withdrew his grandfather’s pocket watch. “You’ve carried this for fifteen years. Keep it safe and give it back to me when I return.”
Edward took it and wrapped his fingers around the smooth case. “This time it will not be so long.”
They walked side by side to the deck, the crew readying the small boat for Daniel to row to the shore and then walk around the cape to the town and on to the governor’s residence.
“Time to go,” said Edward. He pressed kiss to Daniel’s lips. The Opal’s crew were not blind, they had seen what had developed between Daniel and Edward. None of them would be stupid enough to annoy Captain Merric in the coming weeks, even if they would grumble behind his back about going soft over a naval man.
Daniel smiled sadly, stepped away, and climbed down the rope ladder and into the rowing boat. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, not able to guarantee his voice would be steady. With a final salute, Edward cast away the lines.
The moonlight was patchy due to the cloud cover, making the Opal a dark silhouette as Daniel rowed to shore. He watched as her sail billowed and caught the wind, taking her and Edward farther and farther away. His heart was heavy. The dull ache in the centre of his chest and the pang of loss from already missing Edward caused him to wonder if he was doing the right thing. But he had made his decision and with a deep sigh, picked the oars and set to work. The tide in his favour, he was able to ride the currents to shore, although the muscles in his arms protested as he dragged the small boat up the beach. He’d made good time, and now the sun was beginning to rise. If he kept a decent pace he’d be at the governor’s residence not long after breakfast. Thanks to Edward’s hospitality, he didn’t appear to be a wretch who’d been set adrift, but he wondered if his healthy appearance might cast doubt on his version of events.
An hour so later, he made his way through the streets of Port Royal, finding that although Jamaica was as beautiful as any of the islands, he couldn’t bestow upon it the same affection he once had. Two armed guards blocked his way as he approached the governor’s regal residence. The most imposing building in the town, it screamed out the extent of the British presence, making it clear to any of the other foreign powers who was in charge.
“I am Captain Daniel Horton of HMS Expedience. I need to speak to Governor Lawes.”
The guards exchanged a look and stepped aside. Daniel had expected more of a challenge, but he fitted the part of a naval officer and he’d learnt that there were certain ways to talk to insubordinates that made them obey. He’d been here many times, had met Sir Nicholas Lawes on several occasions and found him to be shrewd man of even temper as long as he had agreed with him.
He had barely stepped a foot inside when a servant appeared. “Is Sir Nicholas in his study?”
“Who should I say is calling, sir?” The servant was polite but had positioned himself in front of Daniel with the clear intention of stopping him proceeding.
“Captain Daniel Horton—he may have been misinformed of my death.”
The servant gasped, and another went run
ning in the direction the governor’s study, no doubt to give Sir Nicholas warning.
“This way, Captain. I am sure the governor will wish to see you immediately.”
He followed the servant as he strode away. “Is Expedience still in port?”
“No, sir, she sailed for Portsmouth last week after her repairs were completed. With her new captain.”
He seethed as he entered Sir Nicholas’s study, the man himself was at his desk, pausing to glance up from the letter he was scratching out. “Captain Horton. It appears we have an issue.”
“If you mean I’m very much alive, and my ship with her mutinous crew are on the way back to Portsmouth, then yes.”
“Please sit down.” Daniel did so, and Sir Nicholas directed a servant to bring Daniel some refreshment. “Expedience docked without her captain. I had no reason to doubt Neechals’s report that you met your death while engaging the French.”
“We did engage the French, that much is true, but the rest, as you see by my sitting here, was a fabrication. Neechals was responsible for the death of the ship’s surgeon, was caught stealing from the dead, and ultimately spearheading a mutiny. Any one of those three should have him swinging from a noose, and I will see that it happens.”
“Certainly, if what you say is true, then there is ample reason for him to pay the ultimate price. The Royal Navy will not tolerate mutiny, and all involved will be punished under the full force of the law.”
Daniel did not like the way Sir Nicholas has phrased his words. “Are you doubting my account is not the truth?”
“I am not saying anything of the sort.” Sir Nicholas bristled. “Neechals lied about your demise, but I have yet to even hear your account, let alone be in the position to doubt it. Although I am curious how it is that you turn up now and looking so hearty considering the predicament you found yourself in.”
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