by Holly Rayner
“Thank you, Aiden. You’re the only one who cares about me. I wish that I could go back in time and do things right. I lost the best thing I ever had when I lost you.” The next thing I knew, she had her hand resting on the top of my thigh. I know I say I have no desire for her, and it’s true, in my head. My body however is male and no matter which adult female is touching you there, it’s likely you’re going to have a physical response. I did and the next instant, she was covering it with her hand and her lips were on mine. It all happened so fast that it took my brain a few seconds to respond. As soon as it did, I jumped up out of the booth, away from her.
“What the hell are you doing?”
She actually smiled at me as she said, “You can’t deny you want me.” Her eyes fell below my belt line and then came back up to meet mine.
“You’ve lost it, Cecile. What you just did could be considered assault.”
She smiled wider and said, “Are you going to have me charged?”
I threw a twenty on the table and said, “No, but this is never going to happen again. I’m going to talk to Jake about seeing Mark. Holly’s right, this is all a game to you.”
I didn’t realize she’d followed me out until I got to my car. She was behind me as I pulled open the door and she said, “Holly is your cheap thrill, you’ll tire of the mousy little waitress soon enough. When you do, call me, and don’t bother calling Jake, he’s not going to give you permission to see Mark.”
I didn’t say anything else to her; I just got in the car and came home. I wondered the entire way how I was going to tell Holly. I was afraid that if I didn’t Cecile would. I’d started thinking that Holly had been right all along and Cecile was just trying to break us up. When I saw Holly’s face, the worst, most overwhelming sense of guilt I’d ever had came over me. I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like I did, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
After Holly left I finally reached and picked up the folder she left in front of me. I looked at the 8 by 10 glossies of my ex in bed with an old man and the ones of her in the bank, stuffing a lot of cash in her purse. I looked at the documents where Jake’s signatures were circled in red and the affidavit that Jake signed, stating it wasn’t his signature. Then I read the report and Jake’s interview. I threw it all back on the table and leaned back into the couch. My head was throbbing. Holly had been right all along and as usual, I’d been an idiot.
I sat there, frozen for a while and wondering how I could have taken such a great life and screwed it up so badly. Holly left and she took our son. I had no idea if she would come back. If it was me and the tables were turned, I doubt that I would.
HOLLY
After I walked out on Aiden, Eric and I drove to my mother’s house. When she opened the door and saw my face, she didn’t say a word. She just helped me carry Eric’s stuff in and she went to make some tea while I tucked him into his crib.
When I came back out she said, “Need a hug?” On the verge of tears, I nodded. She wrapped her arms around me then and the floodgates were opened. I let my mother pet my head and hold me like I was a young child and I cried until I couldn’t cry any longer.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Are you kidding?” she said. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m so happy that I’m finally the kind of mother that you can come to. Do you want to talk about it?”
I told her everything the investigator had told me and then I said, “I was so happy. I went home and started making dinner. I got dressed up…I was so looking forward to spending a romantic evening with Aiden. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. Then on top of it, I had the goods on Cecile finally. Not only would she be out of our lives, but it also sounded like Jake would be willing to let Aiden still spend time with Mark. It was the answer to all of our problems.”
“That all sounds great,” Mom said. “What happened to ruin it?”
“Aiden told me he’d be an hour late. He showed up over three hours later. Then, he told me he kissed Cecile.”
Mom took in a sharp breath. She was as shocked as I had been when Aiden spit it out. She really liked Aiden, and she’d been pulling for us from the start. Confusing me, she suddenly said, “Why?”
“Why what, Mama?”
“Why did he kiss her? Did he say?”
“No, Mom, and I didn’t ask. It doesn’t matter why he kissed her. He shouldn’t have kissed her at all. A betrayal is a betrayal no matter why he did it. ”
“You’re right, of course you are. I was just wondering about the situation. You told me that she manipulates him.”
“She does, horribly. But that’s still no excuse.”
“Excuse no, but at least an explanation. Sometimes that at least helps assuage the pain in the heart just a little bit.”
“Maybe, but you know what I can’t stop thinking is: Now, how am I supposed to trust him again?”
My mother didn’t say anything at first, but once again I could tell by the look on her face that she had something to say.
“What Mama?”
“Don’t get mad, okay?”
“I won’t, I came to you for your advice.”
“Okay, first of all, I agree with you that he has no excuses here. He never should have kissed her no matter the situation. But, as far as trusting him, he did tell you about it right away. He didn’t wait and let you find out another way, or try and cover it up, right?”
“True, but he shouldn’t have even been with her in the first place. He didn’t tell me that he was going to see her. Once again, he was sneaking around and that led to kissing her. That’s my concern, Mom.”
“And it’s a valid one. You’re a better woman than me, you really are. I wouldn’t have put up with any of this from the beginning. I know you’ve done it for Aiden and Mark, but it’s taken a big toll on you and I think Aiden needs to realize the kind of burden that he’s put on you, and I think you need to set some stronger boundaries.”
“You don’t think I should leave him?” I asked her.
“Do you love him?” she asked.
“So much.”
“Do you want to leave him?”
I felt the tears running down my face as I said, “No, I don’t want to leave him.”
“Then don’t. Don’t let this woman win. If you leave him, it’s part of her plan she can check off. When Aiden calls, and he will…tell him what you want and how you want it. Be strong and don’t accept any less than you know you deserve, but fight for your marriage, baby. Fight for your family.”
I nodded and lay my head back on her shoulder. “I love you, Mom.”
She hugged me to her and said, “I’m so glad, it was touch and go there for a while.”
I laughed at that. I was so glad that we could laugh about it now. Maybe someday, Aiden and I would be able to laugh about all of the crap we’d been through with Cecile too. My mom kissed the top of my head and said, “I love you so much.”
~
Chapter Seven
~
HOLLY
When I woke up the next morning, I was a little bit disoriented. I was in my old bedroom at my Mom’s house. It had been a long time since I’d slept there and as soon as I remembered why I was here, I started crying again. I allowed myself that until I heard Eric cooing over the monitor. I got up to go get him and found my mother already getting him up.
I stood in the doorway and watched as she changed him and talked to him and tickled him under his little chin. He giggled and tried to talk back. Not much of what he said was discernable yet, but he was trying. Mom acted like she understood every word and they were having a big conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt so I went out to the kitchen and got my coffee. I took it out on the porch to drink in the cool air and silence of the early morning. I finally did what I’d been putting off since I woke up. I looked at my phone. There was no missed call from Aiden…no text. My chest hurt but I told myself I was finished crying. I slipped the phone back in the pocket of my robe and tried not to d
well on it. Maybe he was just embarrassed; maybe he didn’t know what to say yet.
The day passed slowly. Mother and I took Eric to the park and we all went out for dinner that night. I kept my upper lip stiff until after I tucked the baby into bed that night. Then when Mom and I sat down with our tea that evening that was when I lost it.
“It’s been an entire day, Mom. What could he have been doing for an entire day that he didn’t have time to call me, or text me? A text takes literally seconds.”
“Maybe you should call him,” she suggested.
“I don’t want to do that. I want to know that he’s contacting me because he wants to be with me. I’m wondering about his dedication to me and Eric. If he can just let me walk out with the baby and not even be upset enough to even call and find out where we are, then maybe he just doesn’t care. If I call him and he talks me into coming back, I’ll never know if he planned on calling me and even though I know that is stupid it’s important to me.”
“I doubt that he’s not upset at all,” Mom said. “Try and tell yourself to give it one more day, honey. I know that’s easier for me to say than for you to do…but I’d hate to see you give up so soon and then have regrets to live with.”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure she was right, but my only other choice was to call him and like I’d told my mother, I was afraid that would just be forcing him into a place he didn’t want to be in. I tried to be brave and not think about what it would be like to have to go through a divorce and an ensuing custody battle with a man that I loved, as well as one of the richest and most resourceful men in the world.
AIDEN
I didn’t sleep all night. I knew that Holly had gone to her mother’s because I drove by there to make sure that her car was there. I at least knew they were safe. I wanted them home with me, but I didn’t think that talking to her last night would solve anything. It would be a mess of tears and emotions and guilt. So I left it alone and drove home for the time being. I lay awake until dawn and then I made a strong pot of coffee and set about making things right…I wanted to call her with solutions, not excuses.
After I had my coffee and showered, I called Randall.
“Hey Randall, I have a huge task for you.”
“Yes sir, what can I do for you?”
“I need executives. Anyone that’s applied recently that looks promising. Anyone that the headhunters have sent over or called about recently too.”
“Okay, are you firing me?” Randall said. He didn’t have much of a sense of humor, so he may have been serious. I laughed anyways.
“No Randall, I need help for you so that I can spend some time with my family. My wife needs me, and my kid is growing up way too fast and I’m missing it all. I won’t be able to get any of that back so I need to be there for it now while it’s happening.”
“I will have them all lined up when you get here,” he said.
“Great, thank you. I have something else I need to do first. I’ll be in within a few hours.”
I hung up with Randall and then taking a deep breath to steady my nerves I did something that I’d refused to do for the past four years…I called Jake.
“Aiden?” he said when he answered the phone. I still had the same private number. He sounded surprised to hear from me.
“Yeah, it’s me. How are you, Jake?”
“Ah, I’ve been better. How about you?”
“Same here. I’m guessing both of our troubles are stemming from the antics of the same woman?”
Jake laughed, but it was a dry laugh with no humor in it. “Yeah, you’re probably guessing right. I had a visit from your wife’s investigator a few days ago.”
“Yeah, I have the dossier in front of me. What a mess. What are you planning to do, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I plan on getting my son back, first and foremost,” he said. I felt the old familiar pang in my chest when he said, “my son.” I know it’s stupid, I know Mark is not my son, but it still hurts all these years later. “Hey Aiden, I hate myself for what I did to you, sleeping with your wife. I don’t want to make any excuses but if you’ll let me, I’d like to at least tell you how it happened.”
I didn’t know that it made any difference now, but I guess a little closure wouldn’t hurt any of us. “Yeah, okay,” I said.
“Do you remember that big party we had when we closed the deal with that Chinese company?”
“The one at the Plaza? Yeah, vaguely. I was a little bit drunk.”
“Yeah, we all were. I don’t know, now that I think about it, maybe Cecile wasn’t. Anyways, I passed out in the ballroom, do you remember that?”
“Yeah, I helped carry you to your room.”
“I have no recollection from the time I puked and keeled over on the dance floor until early the next morning. I woke up in bed with your wife, Aiden. We were both nude and she was all over me. I should have kicked her out, I have no excuse…but she had me all hot and I let it happen. After that, I avoided her at every turn. I even went months without seeing her. She would call me and she invited me to every dinner party you two had. I always made sure to bring a date because she made me so uncomfortable. I was so afraid she would tell you and you would hate me. I could barely look you in the eyes back then…”
“She got pregnant that night?” I had already done the math in my head; it fit.
“Yeah, she had to have. We didn’t have sex after that until much later…after she left you.”
“So when did she tell you that Mark was your son?”
“When he was two. She said she was leaving you and if I wanted to be a father to him, then she would tell you the truth. The whole thing made me sick, but I guess my paternal instincts were stronger than my friend ones. I had to go over in my head the ramifications of walking away from a friend, and then do the same with the idea of walking away from my son. Then there was Cecile and the fact that I didn’t trust Cecile enough to take what she said at face value. I told her that if a DNA test proved he was mine, I wanted to be his father. We had one done back then in secret, but because of what happened when you had yours, you know, it was positive. I swear though Aiden, I didn’t know she planned on taking him completely away from you. Then when the court stuff was going on, and I said it was wrong for her to keep him from you, that you loved him…that was when she started telling me that you were abusive towards him. I didn’t think that I had any reason not to believe her at that point although I knew you well enough that I should have known in my heart you wouldn’t hurt a child…”
“Don’t beat yourself up. I bought the story too. Sheesh! She’s a master manipulator, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, like I said, none of this negates my part of the responsibility and I’m so damned sorry. But at least you know that I wasn’t quite sleazy enough to carry on a three year affair with your wife while looking you in the eye every day.”
“Honestly, it does make it all feel a little bit better,” I told him. It at least sounded like my best friend didn’t set out to screw me over behind my back.
“Can I ask you another question? I’m sure after you charge her with theft and fraud and you tell the court she’s having an affair currently and the circumstances of Mark’s birth that you’ll win custody. Is there any way I can hope to keep seeing him?”
“Absolutely, Aiden. I promise you that once I get custody, our boy will never be taken from you again.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Thank you, Jake.”
Jake laughed and said, “No thanks needed. It is the very least that I can do. I’ll keep you posted on things. I know Cecile being arrested will affect Mark no matter how we play it…so I’m still figuring it all out.”
“Good luck and let me know if I can help,” I told him. I hung up feeling better than I had in a while. Seeing Mark with Jake involved instead of Cecile will be a whole different ballgame for all of us.
I made a few more phone calls after that. I was making arrangements for Holly, Eric and I to g
o on a family vacation. Once I had it all arranged and the loose ends tied up at work, I would call her. I only hoped she’d be willing to listen.
HOLLY
I woke up the next morning to my phone buzzing. I looked at it and saw that it was Aiden. I stared at it as it buzzed, wondering if I should answer it or not. Finally, I did. I had known all along that I would.