“Shhhhhhhhh!!” I cover his mouth with my hand. “I’m your publicist right now, not your sex slave, okay?”
“I like that imagery. I’ll save it for later.” He taps his finger to his temple and closes his eyes.
Are all guys like this, or just him? I roll my eyes and head toward the gate. Once we’re on the plane, my stomach feels like it’s been filled with a bucket of butterflies. I try to shut my eyes, but all I can think about is how we’re heading to New York to discuss how happy Austin and Cassidy are about their engagement and their upcoming wedding plans. More lies, more deceit. My body isn’t handling it well. I just want it to end. I need it to end.
We sleep most of the way to JFK International and land in the early-afternoon, although it feels later with the time change.
“Rise and shine.” I shake Austin from his slumber. His long eyelashes flutter open and he knocks his headphones off his ears. He stretches out his long limbs before standing up to leave the plane. We head to the exit quickly and find our driver who leads us to a black SUV.
“I love New York,” Austin says, intertwining his fingers with mine as we sit close together in the back seat.
“I’ve actually never been here before…” I try to peek out the tinted windows to get a glimpse of the city as we drive over a bridge.
He turns and tilts his shades down his nose. “You’re joking, right?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I’m from the South, never been north of Georgia. My parents took us to Disney World every year, but that’s it as far as vacationing goes.”
“Well, my mom never took me anywhere except the food stamp line.”
My heart is zapped by an invisible stun gun. I don’t know how he wants me to react to his random confessions of his shitty childhood. Do I console him or laugh it off?
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“No, I’m sorry I brought it up, just forget it.” He adjusts his beanie and leans back into his seat. “So you were saying, you’ve never been to NYC?”
“Correct. First time here.”
“So you’re a City virgin, hmm?” he says, poking me in the side.
“Yup…” I tickle him back and lean in closer. “Guess you’re the lucky one to pop my cherry.”
“I wish I was that lucky,” he whispers.
The driver interrupts our stimulating conversation to let us know we’re near the hotel and that the security team is ready for our arrival. We hop out of the car and the concierge immediately descends to take our luggage. I could really get used to this celebrity lifestyle.
Austin’s security guard meets us while I check in the team at the front desk. Cassidy should be here in time for a romantic dinner out with Austin, which means we only have a few hours to ourselves.
Austin laughs when he sees me enter the room next to his. “Stalker.”
“Didn’t you know? I’m your biggest fan,” I joke.
Instead of taking his keycard out, he follows me into my suite. “Nice digs.”
“Yours is probably much nicer.” I quickly check myself out in the mirror as I pass by the closet. I gaze out the large window to find an expansive layout of lush greenery. “Wow, look at this view.”
“Central Park,” Austin says, sneaking up behind me. His hands slide around my waist as he rests his head on my shoulder. “Maybe we can explore later tonight.”
I place my hands on top of his and he grabs my wrists from underneath, spinning me around. I’m immobilized as he stares down at me, overcome with such strong emotions for this beautiful, broken being. There’s so much that I want to say. I want to tell him that I’m so proud of him for overcoming his messed up past. I want to say that he doesn’t have to lie to the public to have fans, and that he can stand out on his own without being part of a “power couple.” That he doesn’t need to drink to show his emotions, and I can help him feel things without alcohol involved. But I just can’t bring myself say anything; it’s like there’s a lock around my vocal chords. Even my breathing slows.
Instead of speaking, I quickly wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and rest my head on his hard chest. I don’t want to be anywhere else right now but here.
He lifts my head away from his body and leans in for a tender kiss. Soft lips embrace mine and tears swell behind my eyelids. I must have let one fall by mistake because he backs away.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Nothing.”
“But, you’re crying. What did I do?”
I smile and try to blink away my tears as I laugh. Yes, I’m an emotional mess. “You’re just…I…I don’t know,” I manage to sputter out. How do I even begin to explain? If I admit my feelings now, he’ll probably run for the hills.
“Olivia…” He takes a step forward and closes his comforting arms around me, holding me even tighter than I held him. “I know…I feel it too.”
I press my body against his and hide my face in his now tear-soaked shirt. His large hands rub my back in small circles.
“Come here,” he says, taking my hand. He leads me to the bed and kicks off his shoes. “No more tears.”
I join him, rolling on my side. He glares back at me and bites his lip, raising an eyebrow. I glide my fingers underneath his snug shirt. The ripples of his muscles bump my fingertips up and down as I feel my way around his lower abs.
He trails kisses up my neck as I play with the belt loops on his khaki shorts and unbuckle his belt.
“I want you so damn bad, Olivia. It’s been too long,” he whispers as he reaches my ear.
His aggressive nature takes over and he swats my hand away from his fly to flip me over on my back. Straddling my waist, he slowly tears off his top and tosses it to the side. Chewing his bottom lip, he looks me over with an approving nod. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
I instinctively cover my face with my hand.
“What are you doing? I have to see those sexy brown eyes looking up at me.”
“Sorry, I’m just not used to getting compliments I guess,” I say under my breath. What does he see in me that I don’t?
He leans down and lifts my shirt up slightly to plant a soft kiss on my navel. “You have a cute belly button.”
He raises the fabric a little higher and places another kiss a few inches above my stomach. “And your skin is so soft.”
His hands graze my sides and the material is now at bra-level. “And I know you’ve heard me rave about your breasts, but they really are the best ones I’ve ever seen.” He grins. “And they’re real.” Slipping one hand beneath the underwire, he gives my boob a little squeeze. I look up at the ceiling, unable to take him seriously, even though I know he’s being truthful.
“I want to compliment you until you start to believe it,” he says, touching my face to bring it back toward his. “I see the way you look at me, and I want you to know that’s how I look at you too.”
He rests his chin in the center of my chest and his bright blue eyes dive into my soul. “I know this might sound crazy since we haven’t known each other that long, but I just want to be with you all the time. Seriously, I go crazy when you’re not around. You’re all I can think about…”
His declaration leaves me breathless. I reach for his face and in an instant our lips crash together. I pull the ends of his wavy locks to bring him closer to me. Our tongues mix together and it’s like I can’t search him deep enough to fulfill my longing. I pull away with a smile on my face. “I’m falling for you too, Austin.”
He leans back on the disheveled King sized bed and stares at me with wide eyes. “Really?”
“Yes! How could I not?” I jump forward to push him back down again and place tiny kisses across his pecs, letting my tongue linger on his nipples.
“I could list a number of reasons,” he mumbles.
I rush my lips back to his ear. “You may not be perfect, but you’re perfect for me.”
He smiles and rests his hands behind his head,
not taking his baby blues off me as I lift off my shirt and remove my bra.
“Thank you,” he says, licking his lips. “And, I’m enjoying the show.”
I try to finish what I started before by unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly. His body never ceases to amaze me and I want to know every inch of it. I slide his shorts off and step out of my jeans.
He draws me back down so that our legs cross over each other and we’re tangled up, rolling around in a mess of tousled hair and urgent kisses. My heart pounds so hard I can hear it inside my head. I can feel his readiness and eagerly explore inside his boxers. He lets out a low groan and tilts his head back.
“Remember this while you’re at dinner tonight,” I say, lowering the elastic waistband off his hips. I get a glimpse of his perfect v-line and my lips travel down his happy trail. His eyelids crack open when I reach the bottom. Kneeling between his legs, he laughs quietly as my long hair tickles his stomach. I glance up briefly; I love the way he bites his lip as I handle him.
Lifting my head up, he brings my face back to his and smiles. “How could I not replay that in my mind all night?”
He turns us over and pins me to the mattress. “These are coming off,” he says, sliding my panties down.
“Wait,” I say as his hands travel back up my leg.
He lifts himself off me and sits back. “What’s wrong?”
“I just need to know something first...” I take a deep breath and try to find the right words to ask my question.
“What is it?” He grabs for my hand and lays his head next to mine on the pillow. The dim light from the lamp in the corner of the room illuminates his face.
“I don’t want to keep doing this if we’re not…you know, if I’m not the only one you’re doing this with.” I avert my eyes quickly – confrontation was never my strong suit.
He squeezes my hand tighter. “Didn’t I just say that you’re all I can think about?”
I sigh. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean that you’re being monogamous with me.”
His fingers slip out of mine as he turns his body to the side. “Olivia, I’m sorry, but I don’t do relationships.”
That was not the answer I was expecting to hear. I suddenly feel overexposed and scramble to cover myself.
“Oh come on,” he says, trying to pry the bed sheet away. “Just because I don’t want to put a label on us, doesn’t mean I’m out there prowling the streets for my next hook up. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. I guess I’m just not the commitment type.”
I swallow hard. My mind races as I struggle to determine if this is what I want. Do I want to risk everything I’ve worked so hard for, for someone who won’t consider me his girlfriend?
“I need some time to think.” I rise reluctantly from the mattress and get dressed.
“Olivia, don’t do this.” Austin tries to reach out for me. “I thought we were having a good time. Come back to bed.”
“I’ll talk to you later,” I say, grabbing my purse. “Don’t forget to meet Cassidy; she’ll be waiting for you in the lobby in twenty minutes.”
I let the door shut behind me and rush to the elevator. I hit the button for the lobby and look up at the ceiling as a million questions run through my brain that I haven’t figured out how to answer.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Heading to the Starbucks next door, I order a Frappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. I’m quickly snapped out of my thoughts about Austin when I hear the barista shout out the name “Tyler.” Could it be THE Tyler?
I stare at the patron out of the corner of my eye as he walks over to the counter to grab his beverage. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that this guy is the Tyler I’ve been searching for all week. But what is he doing here???
Screw the Frappuccino, I’m back on my super sleuth mission and follow his footsteps. I try my best to spy while hiding behind a large column back inside the hotel lobby. He greets Cassidy and hands her the Starbucks cup. She smiles and takes a sip before checking her phone. They seem friendly, just like Mandy had mentioned at the bakery. I watch as she hands Tyler a key card to a hotel room.
It’s now or never. I sneak around to the bank of elevators, making sure Cassidy doesn’t see me, and slide in when Tyler enters.
“What floor?” he asks me.
“Forty,” I reply.
He pushes the button for the 40th floor and nothing else. As he exits, I watch him walk down the hall to Cassidy’s suite, which is only a few doors down from mine.
I quickly call Mandy for advice.
“Tyler is here!” I whisper into my cell.
“What?” she asks.
“He’s in the hotel with us. He’s staying in Cassidy’s room!”
“Oh my God, I knew they seemed a little too close for comfort when I saw them together the other day.”
“So, what do I do now?”
“You need to catch them in the act! You have to get a photo of them making out or something, otherwise no one is going to believe your story.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll try my best. Cassidy’s going out to dinner with Austin soon, so I’ll have to try and get them when she comes back or sometime tomorrow.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Hope you and Austin are having fun!”
“That’s a whole other story…I’ll talk to you about it later.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound good. Call me whenever you need to. Have a good night.”
“Thanks, bye.”
I order room service and fire up my laptop to get some work done, making sure all the interviews are confirmed for the next day. I’m still bothered by Austin’s remarks about not wanting to commit and I know I’m not going to feel as comfortable around him until we discuss it. I don’t want to scare him off or make him angry, but if I’m going to go through all this shit with Cassidy and Tyler, then I need some sort of confirmation that he’s going to stick by my side in the end.
Hours go by as I stare at the bright computer screen in my dimly-lit room. My eyelids feel like they have ten-pound weight attached to each one. Finally, there’s a knock on my door. I spring from my chair and brush my fingers through my hair to smooth it down.
I look through the peephole and find Austin staring back on the other side. “It’s me,” he shouts.
I open up and he immediately throws his arms around my body.
“Ouch,” he says under his breath.
I pull away. “What’s wrong?”
Then I see it. A large bandage covers his left shoulder. “Oh my God, what happened? Are you hurt?”
My heart races as I imagine him being mugged on the streets of New York City and then rushed to the hospital. But then I remember; he’s a celebrity -- it would have reached the news by now if something like that had occurred.
He shakes his head and gives me a sloppy smile. He’s fucking wasted. Great. I have the feeling that I’m the only one of his “employees” that ever dares to pull a drink out of his hands. Would it kill his security to try to stop him from going from buzzed to completely shit-faced?
“Explain yourself!” I demand, ushering him into the room.
He slumps against the closed door and grabs for my hand, but I don’t let him hold it.
“What did you do, Austin?” I ask again.
He laughs quietly and slowly peels the bandage down, revealing a freshly-inked tattoo. I study the shiny black lines that outline the water crashing down his bicep. He leans his head back against the hard surface and closes his eyes for a moment. “It’s a waterfall,” he states.
I study the artwork closer, recognizing our secret Hawaiian rendezvous spot…I can vividly remember the sound of the pounding water, the refreshing temperature of the pool, Austin’s first touch on my bare skin…our first real kiss.
“Why did you do this?” I ask.
Sighing, he sticks the gauze back over his skin. “It reminds me of you.”
He slides down to the floor with his
legs splayed out in front of him. I crouch down to his level to search his glossy eyes.
“But, why?” I repeat, reaching for his hand now. “I thought you didn’t want commitment. And this is sort of stuck on you…forever.”
He squeezes my fingers before intertwining them with his. Shrugging his shoulders, he offers me some sort of explanation. “Does this prove to you how much I want you in my life?”
I nod, but I still don’t understand. Wouldn’t it be much easier to say you want to be in a relationship than to mark your body with a remembrance of someone for the rest of your life?
“I only have one other tattoo,” he says, turning his hand over to reveal a letter on his wrist. I’ve noticed it before, but never really thought much about it. He touches it with his index finger and stares, lifting his wrist closer to his face. “It’s an A, for my mom, Anne.”
I always assumed the initial was for his first name. I’m taken aback by his openness and I’m not quite sure how to respond. I reach my arm around his back and rest my head on his non-tattooed shoulder.
“I miss her sometimes,” he continues, still tracing the A with his fingertip.
“I miss my family too,” I confess. My mother would flip out if she knew I was dating a movie star – she’d probably make me move back to Florida and live at home under her watchful eye. I grew up pretty sheltered, and it wasn’t until college that I realized I could go wherever I wanted to, and do whatever I wanted to do after graduation. I’m glad I took the risk of moving to LA. I couldn’t imagine my life without Austin in it now, even if he does drive me crazy.
“I was taken away from her,” he confides. “I haven’t seen her in years.”
I lift my head back up to face him. Is that why he said he’s been on his own since he was a child? My heart aches for him, and I know that I might be the only person he’s ever discussed this with.
“I’m so sorry, Austin.”
He drops his head down and he’s quiet for a while. I let him think in silence as I rub his back reassuringly.
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