“I’m sorry, that sucks.”
“It’s alright. It took a long time for him to stop contacting me, but he finally did. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive, and I really don’t care. I’m better off without him, even if he is technically family.”
“Thank you for confiding in me; I know it must not be easy.” My heart aches for him. It’s no wonder he’s afraid to let anyone in. But the fact that he’s sharing this information proves to me that he loves me, whether he realizes it or not. I want to tell him that I love him. I want him to hear those words from someone who truly wants to be there for him. I feel like I dreamed about confessing my love to him last night. Or maybe it was real…I can’t be certain, and I don’t want to bring it up.
He tilts his head down into my hair and breathes in softly, intertwining his fingers in my bed-head curls. “Just promise not to leave me,” he whispers.
“I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
We land at LAX at midnight with minimal paparazzi around. Cassidy took a separate flight and I haven’t heard from her or Priscilla all day. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign, or if it might mean that Tyler didn’t do his job yet. Austin and I go our separate ways once we’re outside.
I text him throughout the next day asking if he’s heard from Cassidy, but he says she’s been silent. This isn’t going as planned…I didn’t want to have to send the photo out to the press. Especially since it’s not incredibly incriminating, they just look very friendly.
Austin calls me as I’m driving home after work. “I think something’s about to go down.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your boss called me in for an emergency meeting at 9AM tomorrow morning.”
I want to die. “She did what?”
“Yeah…just giving you a heads up. I have no idea what it’s about.”
“Thanks, I’ll make sure to be in the office.”
“Whatever she has to say, I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay.” I want to cry or throw up, or both.
“Seriously, you’ll be fine.”
Can he hear the tears in my voice? “Okay.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, babe.”
“Night.”
An emergency meeting? That does not sound good at all. I almost wish he hadn’t told me so I could walk into the disaster blissfully unaware. Crap.
After a completely sleepless night, I’m at the office an hour early.
Mandy comes in at 8:45. “Sweetie, you look awful.”
“Priscilla called Austin in for an emergency meeting at nine.”
“Shit.”
“I know.”
The door opens and Priscilla comes through without a word. She speed-walks into her office and I bring in her usual cup of coffee.
“Stay here for a minute,” she says after I place the cup on her desk.
I nod and swallow hard. My head is buzzing and I want to run and hide.
Her phone rings. “Great, bring them in.”
Them?
Austin and Cassidy enter the room. Cassidy has a smarmy grin on her face. What the hell is she up to?
“Sit, sit,” Priscilla says, bringing over two chairs next to mine.
Austin takes the seat between Cassidy and I. “So, what’s this all about?” he asks.
“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Cassidy quips.
I avert my eyes from everyone in the room and keep my head down, hoping to avoid the confrontation.
“What are you talking about?” He sounds perfectly innocent.
“Your girlfriend here tried to blackmail me,” she accuses.
My head bobs up. Girlfriend? Blackmail? Oh holy hell.
“Is this true, Olivia?” Priscilla asks me directly.
I want to speak, but no words come out when I open my mouth. Austin immediately takes over.
“This is ridiculous, why are you making shit up, Cassidy?”
Priscilla ignores him. “Olivia, is this true?”
She knows me...the real me. She knows I’m just a small town girl trying to make it in Los Angeles. She knows I’m not made of the same stuff as Austin and Cassidy. That I can write a lie on paper, but not say it out loud.
I look away and sniff back my emotions. Austin stares at me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for me to stick up for myself, but I can’t. I don’t want to lie to my boss anymore. I nod my head, admitting my action in a non-verbal manor.
Austin quickly comes to my defense. “It’s my fault. I seduced her. I made her fall in love with me. Don’t punish her; punish me.”
“She knew the rules,” Priscilla says.
“I’m sorry,” I choke.
“I have to let you go,” she responds.
I nod, blinking back tears.
Austin jumps out of his seat. “You can’t do that. We’re not just hooking up...it’s not like that at all…I’m in love…I’m in love with her.”
He then points a finger at Cassidy. “And I don’t want to pretend to be in a relationship with this evil bitch anymore. Just let me break up with her, and I promise that my relationship with Olivia will not interfere with our work, I can assure you.”
He’s in love with me? And he’ admitting it to my boss? I want to jump up and hug him and tell him that I love him back, but I somehow manage to restrain myself.
“You can’t break up with me now,” Cassidy says.
“Why the hell not?” he asks.
She rubs her belly and smiles. “Because I’m pregnant.”
“You’re full of it. I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth,” he replies.
“It’s true; I’m eight weeks along. You wouldn’t want to break up with your pregnant fiancé, would you?”
I’m about to have a heart attack. Is she serious??
“And who says the baby’s mine? It’s probably Tyler’s!” Austin yells.
“I haven’t slept with Tyler in years. We’re just friends.”
“Sure, yeah, okay. We haven’t even hooked up lately!” he screams back.
She touches his shoulder lightly. “We had sex eight weeks ago, Austin...”
He doesn’t respond. It must be true. I mean, I know that they used to get it on, but Austin’s silent confirmation makes my insides burn. I need to get out of here, now, but I’m glued to my chair, unable to make a move.
Priscilla sticks her hand in the air to clear the air. “We’ll talk about this later. For now, Olivia, you need to grab your things and leave the office. It’s unfortunate, I thought you were showing real promise here, and I’m sorry to see you go.”
I peel myself from the leather seat, standing up slowly, and then bolt for the front door. Mandy races after me as I rush into the women’s restroom and immediately begin to bawl my eyes out.
“I’m fired, Mandy. She fired me. I don’t know what to do,” I cry.
She pulls me in for a hug and tries her best to console me as I weep into her shoulder. I feel so ashamed, embarrassed like that in front of everyone, especially Austin.
“I’ll be over tonight with a bottle of wine and multiple pints of Ben & Jerry’s,” Mandy states.
I smile and hug her back. “This is not how I wanted things to happen.”
As my eyes finally begin to dry, Austin barges through the door.
“Get out of here, asshole!” Mandy yells as he steps past the threshold. “It’s your fault! All of this!”
I wish she wasn’t so harsh, but I really don’t want to see him right now. I don’t know how I feel about this whole Cassidy being preggers with his baby thing…I don’t want to think about it yet. I’m not ready to process everything that just went down.
“Please, I need to talk to you,” he pleads, trying to catch my line of sight.
I turn my head away from his gaze. “Not now. I can’t…just, not now.”
He inches closer, but Mandy shoves her arm in front of us, shielding me away from him. “She’ll talk to you whe
n she wants to talk to you, Austin. Get out.”
He turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Mandy arrives at my apartment with an abundance of alcohol and ice cream as promised. I usher her in and she heads straight for my miniscule kitchen. I get out the glasses and bowls in preparation for our girls’ night.
“What am I going to do?” I ask her. “No one’s going to hire me now! And I don’t have enough money saved to pay next month’s rent. I’m so screwed.”
She hands me a large glass of wine and follows me to the couch. “Maybe you can find another entry-level PR job and they won’t need to ask for a reference.”
“Come on, you know how hard it is to find a job in this town. There’s so much competition from all over the world.”
“I know, but you’re smart. I bet you could find one quick.”
“Thanks…I guess I’ll start looking tomorrow.” I take a big gulp and set the glass on my coffee table.
“So is it true?” Mandy asks between spoonfulls of chocolate chip cookie dough.
“Is what true?”
“Is Cassidy really pregnant?”
Cassidy’s shocking confession has been replaying in my head all day.
“You heard that?”
Mandy nods and her eyes widen, begging for more information.
“I guess,” I respond. “I mean, I don’t think she would make that up. At least I’d hope not.”
“So, who’s the baby daddy?” Mandy asks.
My stomach churns as I entertain the thought in my head. “She claims that it’s Austin’s.”
Mandy’s jaw drops. “Oh my God. Do you think…could it be his?”
“I hope not, but anything’s possible, right? I mean, she did tell me that they, in her words, ‘used to fuck a lot.’”
“Ew.”
“I know.” I take another big sip of wine.
Mandy pours herself a glass as well and before we know it an hour has gone by and we’ve killed an entire bottle. I’m feeling buzzed and less depressed about my horrible day when there’s a knock on my door.
I jump up to answer, grabbing hold of the back of a chair for support, and make my way to look through the peephole. It’s Austin, of course. I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls all night…you’d think he’d get the message.
“I’m not leaving till you let me in,” he shouts from the other side.
Mandy shakes her head from across the living room, motioning for me to come back to the couch, but I can’t just leave him out there.
I slowly crack open the door, but leave the chain lock intact so that he can’t burst through.
“I just want to talk to you. Please, Olivia, let me in,” he begs.
I study him through the small space that the door chain allows. He stares back at me with red, glassy eyes, and that’s all it takes for the tears to start streaming down my cheeks. I have to close the door fast. I have to shut him out. I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen now that I’m jobless and broke and Cassidy’s having his baby. I sit on the floor with my back against the hard wood with my head in my hands.
My phone buzzes from my back pocket and I open the text.
“I’m not leaving. I’ll wait here all night if I have to.”
Mandy tip toes over, but I motion for her to sit back down as I try to pull myself together, gathering my thoughts. I open the door again -- this time without the chain lock connected, and Austin pushes his way through, immediately engulfing me in his large, protective arms. He kisses the top of my head, then pulls back, wiping away the moisture from my eyelids with his thumbs.
“I meant what I said this morning. I love you, Olivia. I love you so fucking much that it hurts. Do you understand? When you ran out of the office without a word, my heart felt like it was literally being stabbed. Like it was torn from my chest and bleeding. Heartache is fucking real and I want it to stop. Just talk to me.”
I sniffle and rest my head against his hard chest, listening to his broken heart race. I lean back to face him. “I love you too, Austin. I honestly do. I just don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have a job. You’re going to be a father. If I don’t find a place to work, then I might have to move back to Florida…and I might never see you again.” I take another step back as the realization of the enormity of the situation hits me. “I can’t do this. I can’t have you here. I just can’t do this.”
He tries to pull me toward his body again, but I resist.
“It’ll be fine,” he says, reassuringly. “You can live with me. I can pay for whatever you need. And Cassidy’s baby is not mine. I promise.”
“How can you promise me that? I know you guys were screwing around before you met me.”
He grabs my hands, squeezing them tightly. “I’m always careful, always. It’s not my baby, I just know it. Please believe me. You have to believe me.”
“There’s no way you can know for sure, and that’s the truth. And, I can’t live with you. I don’t want you to be responsible for cleaning up my mess. It’s my fault…all of it. I never should have broken Priscilla’s rules.”
Austin swallows hard. “Is that how you really feel? You wish you never broke her rule?”
Of course I don’t regret the amazing times we’ve had together, and the way I feel about him is like nothing I’ve ever felt before…but would my life have been easier without him in it? Probably…
“You wish that you never met me?” he continues. “Have I screwed up your plans for your perfect little life?” His face turns blotchy as he drops his hands from mine and stares at the ceiling.
“No….I…I don’t know! I don’t know,” I say, choking on the words. “I need time to figure things out. Please, you shouldn’t have come here.”
“You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You made a promise, Olivia.” He turns and grabs the door handle. “I guess I should have known better...”
He’s right. I did make him that promise, but that was under different circumstances. Or was that supposed to be an unconditional promise? That no matter what, I would never leave him? No matter if I’m homeless and he’s having a baby with another woman…
I don’t respond. He thinks his heart’s been stabbed, but mine feels like it’s been pulled out of my chest and stomped on by Priscilla’s 6-inch stiletto heel.
He runs his fingers through his tangled hair and opens the door to leave. “Goodnight, Olivia.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I’ve applied to 75 jobs, had 10 phone interviews, four in-person interviews, and one follow-up…but zero job offers. I’m running out of time. My rent is due in one week and if I can’t pay it, then I’ll need to give the landlord my deposit as a last month’s rent and leave.
Mandy offered that I could crash on her couch for as long as I needed to, but I would feel bad being a freeloader. Besides, without a job, what am I going to do all day?
I know what I have to do, but it’s not going to be easy. It’s time to make the call…
“Hi, Mom,” I say as cheery as possible.
“Olivia! Why haven’t you called lately? It’s been too long. I thought you were dead. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, Ma, everything’s…uhh…it’s…”
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“…I was fired.”
“Fired? What do you mean fired, Olivia? What happened?”
Of course she’s freaking out; I knew she would freak out.
“I don’t know…LA’s not a good fit for me. I think I need to come back home for a little while.”
“I told you Hollywood was full of crazy people, didn’t I?”
My mom’s never left the South; she thinks everywhere else is full of danger and weirdos. Little does she realize that the South has a dense population of pretty messed up people too. But she hated when I left home, so I’m sure she’s ecstatic that I want to come back.
“I know, Ma, I know…I learned my lesso
n.”
“I’m sorry, sugar. Well, you’re always welcome back here. I didn’t touch your bedroom; everything’s just the way you left it.”
“Thanks. I’ll book my flight and send you the information. I should be there in the next few days.”
“That sounds perfect. Safe travels.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
That wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I’m sure she’s keeping in all her burning questions until she sees me in person.
I book my ticket to Jacksonville and start packing my things, but everything I look at reminds me of him. I fold up the dress I wore on the red carpet when we met. He used to slide his fingers through the belt loops of the denim shorts I pull out of my drawer. And the swimsuit on my drying rack is the one I wore on the Jet Ski in Hawaii.
Mandy calls in the midst of my reminiscing and begs me to have one last night out on the town before I leave. The last thing I want to do is be surrounded by Hollywood meatheads in a loud, crowded room.
“Come on, it will help you shake Austin out of your head,” she says.
It’s true – I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him for one millisecond since I last saw him three weeks ago. At first he constantly called and left countless text messages, but as the days went on, and I didn’t respond, the number of texts diminished and the calls ended completely. It was hard, but it’s the only way to get myself out of the situation I put myself in. I wanted no part in the drama between Austin and Cassidy and their love child. A clean break is the only way this will work. If I keep talking to him or seeing him, then I would never be able to leave and move on.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that we had no real future anyway…how would I be able to keep up with a big time movie star like him? Could I live in his mansion in the Hills and have the tabloids and the rest of the public pick me apart? They could think I’m a gold digger or question why a guy like him would be with a girl like me…especially if they think I broke up his relationship with America’s sweetheart, Cassidy Evans. I’m not pretty enough or rich enough for it to make any logical sense, and I don’t think I could withstand the ridicule and scrutiny that would come with being Austin’s girlfriend. It’s better off this way…at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
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