by V. Vaughn
When we get downstairs, Marcel says, “Okay. I get it now. This might be a problem, because if Ava shifted in her sleep, they’re not the least bit blocked.” He’s talking about the fact learning to shift takes effort for teenagers. They have to focus on the change and teach themselves to make it happen. He says, “It’s fascinating when you think about it, because our kids are natural shifters. They do it as a physical reaction like sneezing.” Marcel sighs as he slides back onto the couch. “Imagine if all werebear shifted as small children. It would make things so much easier.”
“Great,” I say, but I’m clearly too logical to be thrilled. “So how do you suppose we teach them not to sneeze?”
“I don’t know. Aren’t you supposed to?”
As the clan’s medicine woman, I am the go-to person whenever someone has a problem like this. And often, I’m not sure right away what to do for a solution. I do have a process to uncover it, but it requires magic. “Babe, when I don’t have an immediate answer, I perform spells to get to the heart of what’s happening. We agreed I wasn’t going to use magic with our children right now.”
“Right. And that still stands.” He gets up and walks over to the other side of the room before he turns to face me. “Okay, maybe we need to talk to the oldest clan members we can find and see if this has ever happened before.”
“Grace?” I ask. She’s Jean Luc’s mother, and being the former alpha’s wife, she would likely know if young children had ever shifted in the past.
Marcel frowns. “I think we need someone more discreet. I’m not ready for Jean Luc to know yet. What about Kimi? Maybe she’s seen it.”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Kimi?”
“Hey, she may not like me, but she is older than dirt.”
I laugh. “She’d hex you six ways to Sunday if she heard you say that.”
Marcel smiles. “She would.” His expression becomes serious. “Let’s find out if anyone has dealt with this before.” He walks back to me and grabs his drink.
I say, “Eventually, we’re going to have to tell Jean Luc.”
Marcel swallows hard. He understands Jean Luc will find it dangerous to have children who could shift in front of people. “I know. And I don’t think he’s going to like it.”
I reach out for my husband’s hand and squeeze his fingers. “Jean Luc is a fair and just alpha who is open to change. He let us get married, after all.”
“Our marriage wasn’t a threat to the clan, Tally.” Marcel sits next to me and lets out a heavy sigh. “How do you think this is going to go over? They’ll all say they knew Jean Luc shouldn’t have allowed us to be together.” He shakes his head. “I want to have a solution to our problem before we tell him.”
I think about how Dawn suggested I do the same before telling Marcel, and this time, I see the wisdom in her thinking. I gaze intently into my husband’s eyes and say, “I think that’s a good idea.”
5
I stare out the window of Marcel’s truck as we drive toward Maine, but I barely see the beautiful woodlands we pass. We’re on our way to see Kimi with the hope she’ll have some insight into our shifting-children problem. We dropped the kids off with Marcel’s mother on our way. Gloria is wonderful, and when we told her about the twins shifting, she assured us she’d be fine, as well as keep the issue a complete secret. I’d be enjoying my alone time with my husband more if I weren’t so nervous about talking to Kimi.
Marcel reaches over for my hand, and I let him take it as he asks, “Deep in thought?”
I nod. My husband knows when to leave me alone, and he takes my hint by turning on the radio so I don’t have to talk. A soft ballad plays as I think about the fact I’ve known the LeRoux medicine woman, Kimi, all my life. She and my grandmother were good friends, and even though her clan is located a couple hours south in Maine, as a child, I saw her at least once a week. She was very much involved in my magical training as well. When my grandmother died and I became busy with my new role as the Ouellette clan’s medicine woman, we stopped seeing each other as often. But I knew Kimi was always a phone call away and would do everything in her power to help me if I needed her to.
Marcel begins to sing along to a hard rock song, and I smile at his lack of shame, a trait I associate with most werebear warriors. When I decided to get involved with a werebear, it caused a rift in my relationship with Kimi. While humans and werebear have relationships rather often, a byproduct of sending werebear to public schools, it’s known amongst clans that something long-term is not an option. Rules and teenagers don’t mix well, and as a result, there are many halves out in the human population who have no idea their fathers or, occasionally, mothers, are werebear.
Considering halves can live their entire lives without ever knowing they have werebear sides, and very few werebears ever leave the clan for humans, no clan ever saw a need to do more than sweep the secrets under the rug.
Magicals and werebear, however, are a different matter. Historically, clan witches and warlocks used fear to keep themselves safe in a population that could shift and kill with one swipe of a paw. Even though most of us no longer feel the need to threaten with dangerous magic, the prejudice rooted from fear still exists. Even my husband is wary enough of magic that he doesn’t want my children to use it until they’re older.
So when Kimi heard that Jean Luc had allowed Marcel and me to have a relationship out in the open, she gave me a stern lecture on the dangers of the unknown. She reminded me that Marcel’s true mate could come along and change everything as well. I didn’t listen, and neither did Marcel when she tried to tell him too. She was furious with me when Marcel and I decided to get married, and the truth is I pulled away from Kimi because of it.
Once the honeymoon of my marriage was over and I got pregnant, I began to consider Kimi’s lecture about true mates as more than a slight possibility. While I believe I could find a way in my heart to let Marcel go, having children together changes everything. And to be honest, my shame over not listening to Kimi keeps me away now. We still talk from time to time about clan business, and if I need her expertise, I do call her but only as a last resort.
Marcel breaks me from my thoughts. “Kimi loves you like a daughter, Tally. She’s probably glad we need her help.”
“Let’s talk about something else. Do you want to hear about what Izzy, Grace, and I are planning for your ceremony?”
Marcel chuckles. “As long as there isn’t a quiz at the end.”
I proceed to tell him about the food and decorations, all the while knowing that he’s not really listening, but I need to do it to keep myself distracted. We manage to move on to clan gossip to pass the time until we get to Kimi’s.
Kimi lives in a small cottage-style house in a retirement community, and like most of us who use herbs for our magic, there isn’t much of a lawn because most of her small plot of land is dedicated to gardens. The two wooden steps up to her front door creak as we step on them, and Marcel knocks lightly.
I never hit five feet in height, and living with a clan of werebear, I’m used to craning my neck to talk to people. But Kimi is just as short as I am, so I see her eyes clearly and know they’re full of love when she breaks into a grin and pulls me into a hug so tight I can’t breathe. I hug her back with relief, and I’m reminded of how Kimi’s ability to love me no matter what I do has always mattered. I realize how much I miss her, and I’m glad we came.
When she releases me, she says to Marcel, “Give this old woman a hug.”
Marcel does as she asks before she leads us over to the table. Her kitchen is small and cozy with knickknacks everywhere. Yet I’m sure each one has a specific spot, and because of it, the place doesn’t appear messy. Her home also has a fireplace and hearth like mine where she can hang a cauldron over a fire. Logs burn in it now.
“Sit,” says Kimi. “I’ll put the kettle on.”
Marcel and I place ourselves at her table while Kimi fusses with making tea. I say, “Thanks for meeting with us.�
��
Kimi opens a series of tiny drawers to pull out dried leaves and crumbles them into a small bowl as she talks. “I was wondering when you’d come to me for help. I’ve been having dreams.”
Marcel sometimes has premonition dreams, and he asks, “What are they about?”
“Secrets,” says Kimi with a sly smile before she turns away to grab mugs.
I chuckle as I stand up to help her carry our drinks over. “That covers a lot of ground.”
“Yes, it does. But my dreams are about what will happen if you two decide to keep a very big one.”
I glance at Marcel as I sit back down. I know he wants to keep the twins shifting from Jean Luc, but I don’t think we should ignore Kimi’s warning this time.
Marcel says, “We’re here, Kimi, to see if you have any experience with young werebear shifting before puberty.”
“The twins are shifting?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say. “Adam shifted partially two days ago, and then Ava did fully that night.”
“Oh my,” says Kimi. She takes a cautious sip of her tea. “That’s a rather serious complication. Goodness, I forgot the honey.” She gets up and retrieves it before sitting back down as if we’re having a casual conversation.
Sometimes I want to strangle the woman, because while Kimi may seem like a mild-mannered, sweet old lady, the truth is she’s got a flair for the dramatic. She likes to watch and wait. She told me once that holding back makes your subject nervous and they tend to give more information that way.
I let out a sigh. “So have you ever heard of this happening before?”
“What do the children think of their shifting?” she asks as if I didn’t just speak.
Bless Marcel, because he has way more patience than I do. He says, “I only saw Ava shift, and I don’t think she realized it at all. Or if she did, nothing about it seemed strange or scary to her.”
“Adam was the same way,” I say. “He wasn’t fazed by what happened either. I, on the other hand, had all I could do not to freak out. It happened at the grocery store.”
“I can imagine,” says Kimi. She watches me for a moment and then smiles as she reaches over to pat my hand. “Motherhood has made you more patient.”
“Not much,” I grumble. “Are you going to share what you know anytime soon?”
Laughter dances in the woman’s eyes. “I have molasses cookies.”
“Argh!” I cry out as I get up and stomp over to where she keeps her treats. The lid to the tin pops when I pry it off, and I set the container down on the table.
Marcel is smiling too, and I shoot him a glare before he wipes the smirk off his face and says, “We hope you have some insight for us. I told Tally that if anyone did, it would be you.”
I cross my arms as I realize Marcel is darn good at reading people, because flattery is exactly what Kimi likes from male werebear. Of course, he had years of practice coming to me before we became a thing.
Kimi says, “I’ve never seen or heard of young werebear shifting.” I let out a heavy sigh, and she adds, “But that doesn’t mean they haven’t. Let me do a little research. The fact that witch and werebear relationships have always been strictly forbidden means it wouldn’t be talked about.”
“Thank you,” says Marcel. He bites into a cookie. “Mm. These are really good. Did you make them?”
Kimi’s smile makes her wrinkled face look like a roadmap. “I did.”
Even though I’m frustrated, I smile too and say, “Kimi has always had the best cookies.” I reach and take one, and sadness washes over me as I recall how wonderful it was to have this woman in my life. I’m not sure I realized just how much she means to me until now, and I feel like an idiot for pushing her away. She may not have been happy with my decision to marry Marcel, but she did come to my wedding and give us her blessing. She really does love me and will do anything she can to help. I reach my hand out to Kimi and gaze into her eyes. “You give the best advice too.” I swallow down my pride and ask, “What should we do?”
6
Kimi stands up from the table and walks over to the built-in bookcase, where she grabs a white pebble the size of a grape. She sets it down on the table between us with a thud. “What do you see?”
“A rock,” says Marcel.
I’ve played this game with Kimi many times. She’s trying to teach us something, so I pick it up. “It’s white quartz that has been smoothed out by being scraped against sand. It probably spent years in the ocean for that to happen.”
“Very good, Tallulah.” Kimi looks at Marcel. “Do you know what white quartz looks like before it’s been smoothed out?”
He shrugs, and I say, “It’s rough. Jagged.”
“Yes. Now how are the two versions of quartz the same?”
Marcel says, “They’re hard. Strong.” A smile forms on his face. “Resilient against the forces of nature.”
“Or stubborn,” I say. Kimi raises her eyebrows at me, and I offer a positive spin, “They’re not easy to break.”
Kimi stands and picks up the pebble to hand it to Marcel. “There’s your answer.” She walks over and grabs a basket from one of the shelves. “I think a ripe tomato for dinner would hit the spot.”
As she heads for the door, Marcel says, “Wait. What does that mean?”
I say, “Don’t bother. She won’t tell you.”
Kimi walks out as if she didn’t hear us.
“Really?” Marcel lets out a sigh. “Okay. So resilient against the forces of nature, and can’t break. Are we supposed to force our kids not to shift?”
“I’m not sure. She wanted us to consider the condition of the rock before and after. So what if that refers to the fact that, right now, our children shifting is the rough version of quartz?”
“And the smooth version is what they’ll be over time? No. I don’t think that’s it,” says Marcel. “Our kids shift like the smooth version of the rock. I know some adults who wish it were so easy.”
“So they aren’t fighting what nature intended for them.” I frown as I consider that the fact werebear children don’t shift until they’re older might be a form of adaptation to survive. Shifting as small children is probably what is genetically natural. I smile as Kimi’s message comes to me. “That’s it, Marcel. She’s telling us not to fight this. That we’re strong enough to handle it.”
“You mean just let Adam and Ava shift whenever they want?”
“No. That doesn’t make sense, because we both know we can’t let that happen for the safety of the clan.” I shake my head as I try to sort out what the message really means. “I think Kimi’s telling us we need to accept what’s happening, and whatever we do, all of us are strong and are going to be fine. But that doesn’t really solve our problem, does it?”
Marcel groans. “You witches are so damn confusing. I think maybe Kimi doesn’t really have an answer and she’s buying time until she figures out what we can do.”
“No.” I shake my head. “She really is trying to tell us something. I’m sure of it.”
“You know,” he says, “werebear just put it all out there.” Marcel smacks his fist into his palm. “And if we don’t have an answer, then we figure it out with a little physical exertion.”
I chuckle as I think about all the werebear I’ve helped with their problems and the fact Marcel is right. The door creaks open, and Kimi comes in with a basket full of tomatoes, onions, and greens. “It’s a good night for burgers on the grill. Will you two stay for dinner?”
Marcel glances at me, and I nod. Like him, I’m not satisfied with what Kimi’s given us so far. And I think we need more time for her to open up.
He says, “We’d love to.”
“Wonderful!” Kimi opens up her fridge and then turns to us with a frown. “I’m going to need a few things from the grocery store.”
“Of course,” says my husband as he gets up, and the truck keys jingle when he pulls them out of his pocket. “What do you need?”
“Ham
burger, rolls, those little fried potatoes you put in the oven. I suppose you might like beer and—” Kimi scrunches up her face for a moment as I try to hold back my snicker. “Ice cream.”
Marcel chuckles at the way Kimi asked him to buy dinner. He says, “I’ll be right back.”
Once he leaves, I go stand beside Kimi as she washes our mugs, and I grab a towel to dry them. I say, “I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I’ve stayed away.”
She looks at me and places her hand on her heart. “You were never gone, Tallulah.” She takes a cup out of my hand and moves to put it back in the cabinet.
I say, “Marcel wants us to keep the children away from serious magic until they’re old enough to understand it.”
“You agreed?”
“Yes. I did. We both thought it made sense since I became kind of infamous for a while. But that was before they shifted. Now I wish I hadn’t because how am I supposed to keep them safe from the human world?”
Kimi doesn’t speak as she takes the towel from me. She folds it slowly before she walks over to the table and picks up the rock. The skin on her fingers is papery smooth as she takes my hand and places the rock in my palm. She gazes intently into my eyes as she curls my fingers around the pebble. “The children are not the problem. Having them was your solution.”
The stone is cool in my hand, and I open up my fingers to gaze down at it. I’m even more confused now, and I let out a sigh. “Kimi, I haven’t got a clue what you’re trying to tell me.”
“You want to buy a vowel?” She cackles, and I recall how she likes to watch Wheel of Fortune.
“I want to buy the whole alphabet.”
She pushes the tin of cookies at me, and I take one as she goes to her living room. She returns with a framed picture of Marcel and me on our wedding day. She hands it to me and says, “Be that woman again, Tallulah. You trusted in your love, and you were right to do so.”
I stare at the picture and think about how happy we were when it was taken. I didn’t have any worries about my future because I was sure Marcel and I were meant to be together no matter how untraditional it seemed.