by V. Vaughn
“Oh my gosh, did you hear about what Jan’s boy did last night?” asks Grace.
“No,” I say.
“Nick,” says Izzy. “It was awful. He got into a fight with a human boy at a party and shifted. Put the poor kid in the hospital.”
“Whoa. What’s going to happen to Nick? And what about the human boy?”
“The human thinks his joint was laced with PCP or something that made him hallucinate and see a bear, so that crisis has been averted,” says Izzy. “I’m not sure what Jean Luc is going to do to punish Nick.”
Grace sighs. “He’s a prime example of what happens with bad parenting. We really need to keep a closer eye on high-risk kids like that.”
I think about Jan. I don’t know the woman very well, and she’s refused to talk to me the few times I’ve tried to draw her out. I frown because I hate hearing about those who won’t let me help. It also makes me wonder if the fact I can’t shift and be a role model for my kids means they might get in trouble like Nick. Kimi’s words haunt me. You are the problem.
“Tally?” asks Izzy. She’s looking at me with concern.
“What?”
“Are you worried about this? Because I don’t think it’s going to be something you can’t handle.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m just curious. It’s becoming clear to me that I don’t know as much about werebear as I’d thought.”
Grace reaches over and places her hand on mine. “You don’t need to know everything. You’ve got a clan full of werebear to help.”
“Right.” I smile back at her. But that’s part of my problem. I’m the one werebear come to for help in difficult situations, and I’m usually able to do so with my magic. But Marcel is still very against me using it with the kids, so I’m helpless. The fact I can’t help my children with shifting is also a good reason for all the naysayers to remind Marcel he shouldn’t have married a werebear. And I can’t fight the nagging sensation in my gut that makes me think they’re right.
Izzy says, “We should get to work on the ceremony.” She grabs a hair band out of her pocket and sweeps up her white-blonde tresses into a ponytail. I notice the faint scar on her neck, branding her as Jean Luc’s mate, and I think about last night with Marcel. His need to bite me is strong. And I’ve seen how mates look at each other’s scars and their lips turn up in pride. It’s a symbol that they have someone for now and forever. I reach up to my neck as longing for that kind of bond fills me. But I know I’ll never have it, and even though Kimi says I need to trust the love Marcel and I have, I can’t help but wonder if it’s enough.
11
Marcel’s swearing-in ceremony is tomorrow, and it’s going to be lovely. There’s a large meadow that overlooks the ocean, where many clan functions happen, and the weather is forecast to be a sunny day with clear skies. I’m proud of Marcel and excited about watching him accept his new position.
I glance in the rearview mirror of my minivan at my children. Their heads are swaying to a song about a chicken that we’ve listened to so many times I’m sure it will be imprinted on my brain for life. I’m on my way to pick up Marcel’s suit from the dry cleaners. I have other errands I’d like to run, but with the threat of the twins shifting, I don’t dare do more than lock them in the car for the two minutes it will take for me to get the dry cleaning. Of course, that sends panic-induced adrenaline rushing through my veins for a different reason. Any human mother would tell you leaving your children in a locked car is never a good idea. But what people think is not my biggest concern.
Marcel told Jean Luc about the twins shifting yesterday as planned, and his reaction was similar to Marcel’s. When Izzy called last night, she confirmed that Jean Luc thinks it’s amazing our children are already full werebear. I guess it’s a werebear thing, because she was excited too. She also reinforced what Marcel said. Jean Luc will make sure whatever we need to do to keep Adam and Ava safe will happen.
I feel a bit foolish for being so worried about what the alpha would think. And I think once we get a werebear nanny for the kids, I’ll finally be able to relax. I pull into the strip mall where the dry cleaner is located, and air blasts from the vents as I crank up the air conditioning. It’s not very hot, and I won’t be gone long enough for the car to get too warm, but I don’t want to take any chances. I lower the volume of the music and turn around to say, “Guys, Mommy is going to go get something. I’ll be right back. If you both can be good while I’m gone, we’ll go get a cookie next.”
“Music, Mommy!” says Ava, and I chuckle.
I give her what she wants before locking them both in the car with the engine off but the battery running. My errand is quick since I’m the only customer, and I make it back to the minivan before I have a heart attack over leaving my kids alone.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I get back behind the wheel. I don’t bother to buckle up as I head toward the coffee-shop drive-thru at the end of the parking lot because I’ll only have to take my seat belt off again to be able to reach back and give my kids their cookies.
“Mommy?” asks Adam.
“Yes, honey?”
“Chicken song, please.”
I let out a small groan but glance down at my phone to find it. After I click it, I glance up, and my heart jumps in my throat when I see a car is pulling out in front of me as if I’m not there. I slam on the brakes, but I’m not fast enough. The sound of metal crunching is combined with a loud crack that rings in my ears, and my horn blares.
I moan as pain radiates through my head, and I hear Ava and Adam crying while the stupid chicken song keeps playing. I blink to clear my vision as I straighten up, and the horn thankfully stops.
“Ma’am!” I turn to a man staring in my window, and he immediately frowns in concern as he tugs on my door to open it up.
“My kids,” I mumble as warmth trickles down my face, and I reach up to discover I’m bleeding. A low growl comes from the back seat. My kids! The man has gotten the door open, and I have two bear cubs in the back seat. Oh god, what am I going to do? I can’t explain to this stranger I’m sure is not a werebear. I can’t throw a fireball for a distraction. What if I cloak them? No. I agreed I wouldn’t use magic on the kids.
The guy leans in. “Get out,” I say.
“Ma’am, you’re hurt.”
I push at him as the contents of my stomach rise to the back of my throat. “Get away!” My head throbs with pain, and my vision becomes blurry.
“Did you say you have kids?” he asks, and he moves away to go to the passenger door. “No!” I scream, but now stars float before my eyes, and I’m afraid I’m going to pass out.
I do the first thing I can think of. I lean out of the car and hold up my hand to toss out a beam of magic that wraps around him. It’s a protective bubble that shuts off all of his senses, and he stumbles back to fall on his butt just as my world goes black.
A chicken is clucking. God, I wish it would shut up. I gasp and snap my eyes open when I realize where I am. I turn to see the man is still on the ground, holding his head. My spell could wear off any second, and I take the time I have to use my phone and take a picture of the guy’s license plate so I can get in touch with him later. I shut my door, tug on my seat belt, and click it into place just as the man rubs his eyes and his wits return.
I yell through the closed window, “I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to go!” I clunk the gearshift into reverse.
“Hey! My car!” the guy yells.
“I know.” I slam into drive. “I swear I’m good for it!” I speed around his car and out of the parking lot.
Once I get on the street, I steal a glance in the mirror. My kids are still bear, and I notice both of their shirts are tight on their bodies. “I’m really going to have to get you two looser clothing.” I begin to laugh at myself before I force myself to get a grip. I take a deep breath. “Everything’s okay, guys.” A light turns red, and I slow to a stop. I pick up my phone and say, “How about we play the chicken song
again. Okay?” I turn up the volume, and two little bear snouts begin to bounce to the music. I watch both my children in the mirror as they shift back to people again. I let out a big sigh of relief.
My head still hurts, and I’m pretty sure I have a concussion. I realize I shouldn’t be driving, so I pull into the grocery store on the right and go around to the back where deliveries are made. I need to make sure the man I hit won’t see me, and I need to call Marcel to come get us.
When I stop the car, Adam says, “Mommy, you got a boo-boo.”
I smile at the resilience of my children. “I did, honey. But we have Superman bandages at home. I’ll be okay.”
Will I, though? A shiver runs down my spine as I hit the call button for Marcel.
12
I push at Marcel’s hand as he dabs at my cut. “I’m fine.”
He lifted me up to sit on the kitchen counter so he can tend to me. He grabs my wrist. “No, you’re not. I’m taking you to the ER once my mother gets here to watch the kids.”
“I wasn’t even going ten miles an hour. I’m sure it’s just a concussion.”
“I’d rather know for sure.”
I push at him and slither off the counter. I walk over to the doorway to the living room to make sure my kids are engrossed in the video Marcel put in for them, and then I turn to him. “If I were a werebear, today wouldn’t have a big deal at all.”
“I don’t follow.”
I wave my hand at my forehead. “This would have healed in seconds, and I wouldn’t have almost let the guy see the kids as bear.”
“Tally.”
“I panicked, Marcel!”
“A werebear mother would have panicked too.”
I shake my head at him. “It wouldn’t have happened in the first place.”
“What are you talking about?” Marcel comes to me and holds my arms lightly. “Honey, what happened today could have happened to anyone that had shifting kids in their car.”
“It’s not just that.” I close my eyes as my head pounds with my headache. “I’m not the best mother for our children. They’re something I’m not, and I don’t have the skills or ability to train them the way I should.” When I open my eyes, a tear rolls down my cheek. “Everyone was right. Our marriage and having children was a big mistake.”
“Honey,” Marcel pulls me into his arms, and I let him as I cry. “We are not a mistake. What happened to the woman who believed we were destined to be together and prove everyone wrong?”
I sniff and gaze up at him. The vision of my husband wavers through my watery veil. I did used to be so sure, but I was a fool in love. Now that we’ve gotten in too deep, I understand what so many tried to warn us against. I say, “She grew up.”
“Hello!” calls out Gloria as she lets herself in the kitchen door.
I turn away and wipe my tears before she can see them, and Marcel walks over to hug his mother. “Thanks for coming, Mom.”
“Anytime,” she says as she walks toward me, and I turn to her with a forced smile. Her face pales. “Tally?” She glances at Marcel. “What are you waiting for? Go!”
I know that for werebear, it’s hard to see human injuries because they’re used to the speed of their healing. So they assume that when an injury looks bad an hour or so later, it has got to be life-threatening. “It’s not as bad as it looks, Gloria.”
She closes her eyes for a second and nods as if she’s relieved. “Right. I forgot you’re human.”
Now my smile is real, because Gloria has always accepted me as the love of Marcel’s life, and it’s a compliment she thinks of me as one of them.
“We shouldn’t be long,” I say.
By the time we get to the ER, I’m glad we came, because I’m queasy again. “Marcel, I don’t feel so good.” Sweat covers my face, and when I get out of the car, the cool night air chills me before I double over to vomit. The contents of my stomach splatter on the pavement, and before I can straighten up again, Marcel scoops me up into his arms and rushes into the hospital.
The world around me is a blur of bright color, and voices are a jumble of sounds. Marcel’s face comes into view, and I want to reach up and wipe the worry on his forehead smooth. His mouth moves, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. I want to ask him what he means, but I don’t have the energy. A veil of gray overtakes me, and I retreat within myself.
I’m in the dark, and a glowing golden thread of light appears before me. It’s swaying as if blown by a light summer breeze. It could be something dangerous, but in my heart, I believe it’s good, so I reach for it. When I grab the coiling vine, tendrils extend from it to wind around my arm and slither farther to encompass my body. I relax into the embrace of silky softness. A familiar scent is in the air, and all worry has left me as I sink into blissful sleep.
A steady beep wakes me, and when I open my eyes, I notice Marcel’s large body draped over two chairs right next to my bed. He’s asleep, but his forehead is wrinkled up with worry, and his beard is a couple days old. I notice his fingers are entwined in mine.
I open my mouth to speak. My throat burns when I rasp out a soft “Marcel.”
He jerks awake. “Tally.” He sits up. “Thank god.” His eyes glisten, and in a shaky voice, he says, “You’re back.”
“Did—” I swallow to moisten my throat. “Did I leave?”
Marcel blinks back his tears. “I was afraid you had.” He lets out a huff of air and swipes an errant tear off his face with his thumb. “You had a brain bleed. They had to take you into surgery to cauterize it. That was two days ago.”
“Two days?” I place my hand on my throat and grimace.
“Here,” says Marcel as he lifts a cup and holds a straw up to my mouth so I can drink some water.
As I sip, the chicken song plays in my head, and I think about Marcel’s dry cleaning and wonder if it’s still in the car. “The kids?”
“Ava and Adam are fine. They’re with my mother.”
I nod. “Your ceremony?”
He gives me a tired smile. “It’s postponed until you’re better. Now, how about we worry about you for a moment?”
I chuckle dryly as I glance around and notice at least a dozen flower arrangements. “I think you and too many other people have spent two days doing that already.”
“We’ve done more than worry, Tally. Do you have any idea how awful it’s been trying to imagine my life without you?”
I reach out my hand to him. “I’m sorry. This human thing I’ve got going on really sucks.”
Marcel takes my hand, and I squeeze his fingers with desperation. But it occurs to me that no matter how tightly I grip, I’m never going to be strong enough to compare to my husband’s natural strength.
He squeezes back gently as concern floods his eyes. “The only part that sucks is your healing abilities. The rest is pretty damn amazing.”
I shake my head as I think about what would have happened if I’d died in that crash. My children would have been sent to some animal-control holding cell where god knows what would have happened to them. They could be at a zoo right now.
My throat thickens as I flash to Marcel scraping my skin with his teeth and his desire to bond. One more reason I’m not the right mother for my children or wife for my husband. Tears fill my eyes as I say, “You never should have fallen in love with me!”
“Wrong, Tally. Falling in love with you is the best thing I ever did.”
“Marcel—”
“Stop. I know you seem to think that not being a werebear makes you inadequate as a mother and wife, but you’re mistaken.”
“But—”
He places a finger on my lips to hush me. “You, my little witch, have powers that go above and beyond what any werebear mother can do. I’ve seen what happens when you toss out a massive fireball. Or the way you can throw up a shield to protect an army of warriors from bullets. And don’t even get me started on how, in your quiet manner, you keep our clan sane.”
Marcel takes my
hand and places my palm over his heart. “We are meant to be together, Tally. I know it’s our destiny. Trust it.”
Trust in your love. I recall the golden vine I grabbed when I slipped into unconsciousness. I held on to it based on the trust that it was something good. It was special, like the love Marcel and I share, and I can still feel it connecting us. It can’t be true-mate love, but I think it’s the special bond between this witch and her werebear.
“I do, Marcel.” I clutch at his shirt and tug him down. He leans in to kiss me, and I whisper, “Trust in our love.”
13
Gloria clutches Ava’s hand in hers as I hold Adam’s, and the two of us walk through the crowd gathered for Marcel’s swearing-in ceremony. When I spot Izzy’s white-blond hair in a sea of redheaded and brunette Ouellettes, I lead us toward her.
“Tally,” she says when she sees me. She’s with her three children and Grace. “They’re going to start in a few minutes. Let’s go make sure we have the best view.”
I smile at my friend, who is one of the tallest members of the clan due to her polar bear heritage, because I know she’s saying that for me and the children. As we walk, Jean Luc’s voice carries over the crowd, announcing the ceremony is about to start. When we get near the podium, we see Marcel talking to a few of the other warriors, and the crowd quiets.
“Daddy!” Ava cries out.
“Shhh,” says Gloria as she grabs the back of Ava’s dress to keep my daughter from running up to her father. “We have to watch right now.”
Ava knits her brow as she pouts. The ceremony was scheduled for the afternoon, and that means the twins are missing their nap.
Adam decides Ava is on to something, and he tugs on my hand. “I want Daddy.”
“I know, honey,” I whisper as I squat down to talk to him. “But right now, we have to watch him get a special honor. Okay?”
Jean Luc holds up his hands to stop all chatter. But as I look at the alpha and Marcel, I hear fabric tear, and my attention is drawn to my children, who have both shifted into bear cubs and are now ambling their way toward Marcel in an act of two-year-old defiance.