by A. D. Ellis
“Is Cam okay?” I gritted my teeth, torn between wanting to hold Cam and throttle Stephanie.
“Yeah, he’s fine it looks like. Once she drives away I’ll go over and check on him,” Dustin said.
I heard the loud squeal of tires as Stephanie peeled out on the driveway.
“Looks like the officer is going to make notes on what happened.” Dustin explained. “Kelly and I are heading over to check on Cam and see if we can help in any way.”
“Okay, tell him the boys are fine. We’ll be home after the movie. Thanks for the updates, man.” I hung up the phone relieved that I’d kept the boys from Stephanie, but I was beyond pissed that she’d lashed out at Cam. And, what next? Would she keep showing up to see the boys? Could we keep her away from Cam’s house since she was the prime suspect in the vandalism and had now physically assaulted Cam?
Fuck, when had my life become a real-life soap opera?
Chapter 19
Cameron
Kade and I stood in the driveway waving at the boys as they rode off with my mom and dad. Mom said it was only fair they got to have the boys overnight since Ruth and John got to spend the day with them. Kade and I didn’t argue; we were both too emotionally and physically exhausted to put up much of a fight. And it seemed like a good idea to have the boys away from the house for a bit in case Stephanie decided to visit again.
Kade turned to examine my cheek. Cupping my face in his hand, he ran a thumb along the faint red mark. “Does it hurt?”
“Not much. I got ice on it right away.” I closed my eyes at the gentle warmth of Kade’s touch. The soft brush of Kade’s lips against mine eased any pain I may have felt in my cheek.
“Let’s order a pizza and relax,” Kade pulled away slowly and began to contemplate our dinner plans. “I’m going to take a shower and call my lawyer to update her on everything that happened here today.”
“Sounds good. I’ll call for the pizza and jump in the shower,” I said. “I’ll meet you for dinner in about forty-five minutes.” I reached for Kade’s hand and kissed him on the cheek as we made our way into the house.
Once inside, Kade cornered me against the washing machine, pressing his hips hard against mine, his hands cupping my face. “I’m so damn sorry I brought you into this mess, but thank you for being there for me.” Tipping my face up to meet his, Kade pressed soft lips against mine. “I hate what I’ve done to you, but I’m so fuckin’ glad to have you to turn to.”
Letting Kade’s lips and tongue make love to mine for several moments, I finally pulled back from his kiss. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I despise Stephanie for what she’s done to you and the boys, but I can’t hate the situation because it brought you to me. I didn’t plan on looking for love again. I didn’t think I needed to love someone after Deacon, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have been looking for love with my best friend. But, Stephanie’s actions brought us together, and I’ll never be sorry about that.” I leaned in to kiss him again. “Don’t ever apologize for Stephanie’s mess. The boys and I are happier with you and yours here than we ever would have been on our own. I love you,” I said, peppering soft kisses over his face.
Kade hugged me close. “I love you, too.” He sighed. “I hate the drama and uncertainty of what comes next with Stephanie. I feel like she’s helping me build a fairly strong case against her getting primary custody, but you never know how judges are going to rule. A lot of them rule in favor of the mother no matter what.”
“But, if you’ve got evidence on your side, surely the judge will see the boys are better off with you.” I argued, but I knew we lived in a very mother-friendly area when it came to custody cases.
“I don’t know. I’ve been reading a lot about dads who have lost their kids in custody battles and many of them had more bad shit against the mom than I have on Stephanie.” Kade held me tight, his body shuddering as he spoke. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose my boys.”
“Shhhh, you’re not going to lose them. Maybe have to share them, but there’s no reason you would lose them completely.” I prayed my words were accurate.
~*~*~*~
“She’s going to get in touch with Stephanie’s lawyer and give me a call back,” Kade said as he hung up the phone.
“Pizza just got here,” I said, handing Kade a paper plate.
“Just bring the whole damn box into the living room. I feel like I can barely stand up. I need to crash on the couch.” Kade grabbed the plates, napkins, and bottles of water and headed into the living room.
I followed with the box of pizza and a half-gallon of rock-hard vanilla ice cream.
“That’s going to melt,” Kade warned as I sat the pizza and ice cream on the coffee table.
“Nah, the ice cream was in the deep freeze. It can thaw while we eat our pizza.” I laid two spoons to the side.
“Then what?” Kade opened the pizza box.
“Then we open it and eat spoons full of vanilla bean goodness straight from the carton,” I said with a wicked smile.
“Why?” Kade returned my smile.
“Because we can?” I shrugged.
“I can get behind that.” Kade nodded.
An hour later, the pizza devoured and the ice cream carton half empty, Kade and I relaxed on the couch wrapped in each other’s arms.
When his phone rang, I immediately felt Kade tense and my own gut sank. Probably his lawyer calling back with info on Stephanie.
“Hello?” Kade answered and stood from the couch. As he headed out to the deck, I busied myself by cleaning up our mess from dinner and dessert.
Fifteen minutes later, Kade walked back into the house his face drawn and ashen.
“What did she find out?” I prompted.
Kade stared at the phone in his hand as if he was having trouble comprehending the conversation he’d just had. “Um, her lawyer said Stephanie is pushing for reconciliation before we proceed with any custody issues.”
My heart clawed its way up my throat as my stomach dropped to my knees.
“Reconciliation?” I repeated dumbly. “As in, get back together with her?”
Kade nodded mutely.
You said no way in hell, right? You told her to go fuck herself, right? You told her we’re in love, and I’ll die a thousand deaths all over again if I lose you, right? RIGHT?
The words I wanted to ask screamed through my head, my heart breaking and weeping even before I found the strength to speak.
“What did you tell her?” My voice was a harsh whisper laced with fear and heartbreak.
“I said no, but my lawyer advised I give it a shot. Said it will look better if I’ve at least attempted reconciliation. Said I can gather more shit on her during that time if needed.” Kade spoke mechanically.
“Where will you stay? Do you have to take the boys?” All life seemed to have left my body as I thought ahead to life without Kade and his boys. Declan and Justin would miss Myles and Evan almost as much as I would miss Kade.
“I agreed to a few meetings with her, but just us. I don’t want the boys around her right now.” Kade finally lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine.
We reached for each other at the same time, collapsing into each other’s arms. Sobbing together, we fell to the couch.
“You have to do what’s best for the boys,” I said, trying my best to believe what I was saying.
“She’s not what’s best for my boys,” Kade bit out. “She’s proven that time and time again.”
“Follow your lawyer’s advice,” I said, trying to be supportive, but hating every single word that came from my mouth.
“I’ll meet with her. But only to show we attempted to reconcile,” Kade said, defeated. “But I want it to happen before school starts. I want it done and over so we can get the boys into a routine.”
“That doesn’t give you much time,” I warned.
“I’ll set up the meeting to happen within a day or two.”
“Kade?”
He looked at me,
the love and anguish in his eyes taking my breath away. “Yeah?”
“I love you. I never want to lose you. But, if fixing things with her will help the boys, maybe it’s for the best.” I spoke through tears.
“Shhh, baby, let’s not borrow trouble. One day at a time. Remember?” Kade pulled me close, rubbing my back and whispering in my ear as we both cried.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from our problems. I wanted to run away with Kade and the boys and never face losing him.
But, that wasn’t how the real-world worked. No, we’d tackle our problems head-on. Something told me things were going to get a whole lot worse before they got better. And who would things be getting better for? If we lost Kade and his boys, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be better for us.
Chapter 20
Kade
“I’m going to puke,” I said before sitting at the small card table in the garage and putting my head between my legs.
“No, you’re not. You’re nervous and worried, but you’re going to be fine.” Cam assured me, but his face was drawn and pale.
Both of us had puffy eyes from crying. Myles and Declan had to notice their dads were acting weird, and I hated that. Cam and I had worked hard to keep things as normal as possible at home, and we were pumping the boys up for school starting again soon.
But, I had to meet with Stephanie.
Reconciliation.
I didn’t want to reconcile. She cheated on me. She left the boys and me. She shouldn’t get a second chance.
“Would you be more willing to work things out with her if I wasn’t in the picture?” Cam had asked softly the night before.
I had kissed him and pulled him close. “I don’t know. If you weren’t in the picture I wouldn’t know the difference between what Stephanie and I had compared to what you and I have. And there’s absolutely no comparison. Maybe I would have been more willing to attempt reconciliation before you, but I would have been throwing myself back into a loveless relationship and setting a terrible example for the boys of what a healthy relationship should look like.”
Sitting in the garage, preparing to meet Stephanie at her new apartment, I held onto the words I had spoken to Cam the night before.
“I don’t want to leave you and the boys. My heart is here with the five of you.” I rubbed both hands over my face.
Cam pulled me from the camp chair[PC63], our chests meeting as his hands wrapped around the back of my neck. “And I don’t want you to leave. But, if going through the motions can help you get custody of the boys, I think it’s what you should do.” Cam’s mouth brushed against mine.
“I don’t plan on being late. If the boys go to bed before I’m home, give them an extra hug and kiss from me.” I placed a soft kiss on Cam’s lips. Walking from the garage, leaving Cam and the boys behind was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
“Kade?” Cam’s voice called to me.
I wanted him to stop me, to beg me not to go. But, Cam was a better man than that. He’d never do anything that could possibly keep me from my children.
Turning to look at him, I replied, “Yeah?”
“This is your home, here with the boys and me. No matter what, I love you and want you here with us if it’s meant to be that way.” Cam’s voice broke on his tears.
In three long strides I was back in the garage gathering Cam up in my arms, my teary eyes burning as I buried my face in his neck. “Damn it, baby. I want that, too. I want that more than anything, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure we’re all together. I love you so damn much.”
By the time I reached Stephanie’s new apartment, I was a mesh of angry, upset, and anxious all rolled into one. How would Stephanie play things? Sorrowful and contrite? Guilty? I wanted to lash out at her for all the months she put the boys and me through hell with her drinking and partying and cheating. But, I knew I needed to play it cool at least in the beginning and take my cues from her. I didn’t want her to have any ammunition against me, so I would keep my emotions in check.
“Kade, baby, it’s so good to see you,” Stephanie said as she opened the door for me.
Had she always worn such strong perfume? Had I forgotten how much makeup she caked on her face and how tight she wore her clothing? Or had she gone overboard trying to impress me?
When she reached out to hug me, I had to fight my instinct to visibly shudder and pull away. Her touch turned me cold and made my skin crawl.
She guided the way to a small living room and gestured for me to sit on the couch.
“Nice place,” I said, trying to be civil. But, I had to wonder where she planned on having the boys sleep if she had them over. That would be something I could note to my lawyer.
“Thanks,” Stephanie sniffed. “It’s not much, but it was all I could find when I came back and found our home was on the market.”
I gritted my teeth to keep from biting out a sarcastic comment. You were so busy screwing Steven that you said you didn’t have it in you to keep up with a house.
I sipped from the bottle of water she handed me. I waited for her to speak. I wasn’t sure where she was planning on this meeting to go, and I didn’t want to provide her with any openings.
“Kade, I miss you and the boys,” Stephanie sniffed her nose again and wiped at her eyes.
I simply sipped the water and nodded at her. What was she wanting me to say? Fall to my knees and tell her how terrible life had been since she left? Actually, that probably was what she expected.
“Are you not even going to speak?” Stephanie demanded.
“Honestly, I’m not really sure what it is you’re wanting me to say or what you’re hoping this meeting will accomplish.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“I want my boys back. I want you back, and I want our family together again,” Stephanie whined.
“Where does Steven fit into all of that?” I asked coldly.
“I’d rather not focus on that right now. I want to focus only on us,” Stephanie answered in a vague manner that made me highly suspicious.
“Are you still seeing him?” I pressed.
“Damn it, Kade, I don’t want to talk about him,” she yelled.
She was much too defensive about Steven. Either she was hiding the fact that she was still seeing him, or she was evading because he’d dumped her sorry ass and that was why she’d come crawling back.
I sat quietly and waited for her to regain her composure and speak again.
“Do you think we can work on us? We were so good together,” Stephanie spoke as she slid across the couch to place her hand on my leg.
I swallowed my revulsion. “Stephanie, we were so far from good together. We had some great times. The illusion of our marriage was spectacular. But, once I got behind all the smoke and mirrors, I realized that what we had wasn’t something I want the boys to grow up thinking is a healthy relationship.” I kept my voice calm as I spoke words I hadn’t planned on speaking, but they poured from my lips.
Stephanie’s eyes flashed with anger. “So, you think my sons are better off living with a couple of faggots?”
Ah, the gauntlet had been thrown.
“I think Myles and Evan are seeing two parents who support their family, work hard, treat people with care and respect, and try to make the most of life,” I answered carefully, my mind smiling as I thought of how good Cam and I had been together when it came to supporting the boys.
“Are you telling me you have no plans to restore our marriage?” Stephanie asked, her words incredulous.
I paused for a moment and really thought about her question. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”
Stephanie stood and paced the room. “You’re giving up our children so you can have some gay midlife crisis?”
I stood and took two steps toward the door. “No, I’m not giving up my children. I feel that Myles and Evan are better off in a loving, stable, safe home with me.” I felt sick as I laid it out for her, but I knew w
e were at a point where dancing around the subject would get us nowhere.
“Well, he said it would go this way,” Stephanie huffed.
“He who?” I asked.
Her eyes were wild as she paced the room. “Steven said you’d gotten way too cozy with Cam out there on the lake. He’s right. Our best bet is to fight you and take the boys away from you completely.” Her voice was bordering on hysterical.
“I’m willing to discuss shared custody, but I will fight you with everything I have if you try to take the boys away from me.” My gaze met hers as I spoke.
“No judge is going to give a couple gay guys rights to two little boys when their mother and her fiancée are willing and able to take care of them.” Stephanie sneered her words. “And, we all know this area of the country is exceptionally pro-mother. You don’t have a chance in hell.”
“Ah, so Steven is still in the picture. Just how were you going to reconcile with me and keep a relationship with him?” I asked, seriously wondering about Stephanie’s mental well-being.
“You were clueless before, I would have gotten away with it again.” Stephanie shrugged as she spoke.
“Unbelievable.” I shook my head and made for the door.
“Kade, if you leave here like this, I will take those boys and you won’t see them for at least two decades. By then, I will have told them so many stories about their how their father chose his gay lover over them, and they won’t want to have anything to do with you. School years, girlfriends, graduation, college, marriage, grandbabies, you’re going to miss all of it. And for what? For Cam? Is he worth it? Worth losing your boys?” Stephanie ranted.
“First, Cam has been more of a parent to those boys lately than you had been to them in the past six months. Second, I’d never choose Cam over my children. But, I will choose Cam and my children over you.” I swigged the rest of the water and placed the bottle on the entryway table. “I won’t cower to you or allow you to demean me into a loveless marriage where I’m supposed to be okay with my wife having a lover on the side.”