“No. I don’t believe that. When this is over, we will have the opportunity to make things work between us.”
“My father…”
“…will not come between us! Not after this past month. I have loved you and intend to keep on loving you, now and in the future. I would risk anything to have you with me, princess. You know that.”
“Aster…” She let her voice trail off. She couldn’t say anything more. He knew the problems but refused to let them thwart him. He’d always been like that, fearless in the pursuit of what he wanted. And now he wanted her and would take on her father to get her. To her chagrin, she wanted him as well. It would pain her to lose him, possibly as much as it would upset him.
One of the reasons they’d waited this long to act against the Olympians had been an unspoken desire to remain together in any form they could. Once this interlude was over she would never see him again, at least not the way she wanted to. Better to be stone part of the time than eternally apart. But if they were moved into storage on Olympus or, gods forbid, separated from each other, they wouldn’t even have that.
Their only hope was to win freedom for their people, and earn her father’s gratitude. Maybe if they succeeded they could have the relationship they wanted.
“Aster, we must look for the next opportunity we have and be ready to act. The time must be now—we can’t delay any longer. It will have to be tomorrow if at all possible.”
“I agree.” Dawn could hear determination in the grim tone of his mental voice. “I’ll be ready.”
They would both need to be ready to act, but that was tomorrow. Dawn allowed herself to relax. Sleep wouldn’t come to them in this form but there were other ways to spend their last night together.
No reason not to spend the rest of the night in other activities. The kind of enjoyable activities they’d discovered over the past month.
“Aster,” Dawn said quietly. “Talk dirty to me.”
His grimness faded away, replaced by loving amusement.
“My pleasure, princess.”
Chapter Nine
Pan was holding her when she woke, his arms around her waist, legs curled around her body. It was rather like the way she’d held him last night when she’d entered him and the memory brought a flush to her face. It had been a long time since she’d worn or used a strap-on, and she’d never used one with a man before.
Certainly she’d never done it with someone she cared about. It had taken most of her courage to suggest it to Pan in the first place and she’d been certain he was going to turn her down angrily.
Instead, even though at first he’d been taken aback, he’d agreed to try it. The results had been…surprising. Pan had come so hard she’d expected him to be out of commission for a week. Instead he’d been inspired to give her the fucking of her life, so much so that she’d collapsed afterward and had actually fallen asleep!
That hadn’t happened to her…well, in centuries. In fact she could only remember one other time it had happened. That had been the first time she’d gone to bed with Pan, three centuries before, when they’d first met.
That had been the most amazing week of her existence. In one marathon session of lovemaking he’d blown away every preconception she’d had about sex. Up to then Nina had been reticent about the act, unwilling to give up any kind of control to a man. She’d kept her pleasure to herself, barely even noting the fact there was another person in bed with her.
Some men had called her frigid…although never more than once. Nina grimaced at the memory. After all, she’d been a vengeance nymph. Bad things had happened to any man who’d insulted her.
But then Pan had come along. At first she’d tried to keep her passion in check, but it had been a fruitless effort. In the first ten minutes in his bed she’d had her first orgasm with a man. The second came five minutes later.
An hour later she was screaming his name. By the end of the first two days she’d known that she’d found her heart’s mate, the one man in history that she could love, then and forever. Pan hadn’t declared his love for her, but she knew he would eventually and so she’d unshielded her heart and given him all the devotion she’d held inside.
Five days later he’d left her bed and taken up with a vestal virgin he met after an extended stint at one of Bacchus’ wine tasting parties. From what Nina had heard later, the little bitch had decided to change her life and picked Pan as the changer.
He’d shown up the morning afterward, disheveled and full of apologies over what had happened. His excuse of being drunk hadn’t gone over well with her and they hadn’t spoken more than a few words since. Until six months ago and the arrow, that is.
Nina sighed. Did Pan ever think about those long ago days? Probably not. When she’d brought up his past infidelity, he’d dismissed it as irrelevant to their current situation. It would never happen again, he’d told her. He wasn’t the kind of god that dwelled on the past, but seemed determined to live in the present, maintaining only a moderate interest in the future. Somehow she doubted that would ever change.
He stirred behind her and his hands clutched tighter around her waist, pulling her against his already hard shaft. So what else is new, Nina thought. Pan always awoke with a hard-on.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. “You must have slept well. I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night.”
To her horror she blushed even more as he turned her towards him. His slightly devilish brown eyes glinted with humor, mixed with the ever-present desire she saw in them.
He touched her flaming cheeks. “Who would ever think the ever sexy Nemesis could be embarrassed about anything. There is no need for that. What happens between two people in the name of passion cannot be wrong. I enjoyed last night, more than I could have expected. You did too.”
Grabbing her hands, he pulled them over her head, leaning in to nibble her lower lip. “On the other hand, there is something very appropriate about your blushing.”
“What do you mean?” Pan was acting very strange. He rarely spoke in riddles.
His smile hadn’t even the hint of mockery in it “There is something I meant to speak with you about. I was going to bring it up last night in the pool, but we got distracted.”
Pan sounded serious, belying his smile, and it put an uneasy feeling into her. What did they have to talk about that would make Pan smile and be serious at the same time?
Some of her concern must have communicated itself to him because he pulled back from her. “Don’t you want to make love?” she asked, looking for some semblance of normality in their relationship.
“Maybe later. I have a proposal for you first.”
A proposal? “What are you talking about, Pan?”
He looked away from her. Perhaps he didn’t want her to see his face. “It has been six months since you’ve been with me. I find…I like having you here. We match each other, get along well, and enjoy all aspects of being a pair, especially sexually. If nothing else, last night proved that.” He hesitated in what sounded like a well-rehearsed speech. “I’d like to make it permanent, Nina. I want you to be my wife.”
“You want to get married? To me?” She couldn’t have been more astounded if he’d announced he’d decided to take up celibacy.
“Why not? We live together, are seen as a couple by the others. A formal declaration seems warranted.”
“But, Pan, the arrow’s spell. You only want me because of that. When it fails, you won’t want to be saddled with a wife you don’t care for anymore.”
With a wave of his hand Pan seemed to try and brush her concerns away. “I’m not so sure the spell is going to fail, Nina. We’ve been expecting it to for months now, and it’s as strong as ever. It may not ever fail, and even if it does, what does that mean? If the spell fails I’ll still care for you, I’m sure of it. I don’t think I’m so bespelled that I can’t see how right we are for each other.”
She shook her head vehemently. “I don’t
think we’re that right for each other, Pan. I could never betray my word. I may be many things but I’ve never been dishonest with anyone. You on the other hand…I know you too well. Once the spell fails, you’ll be off chasing other women and I couldn’t live with that. If I was your wife I’d have to.”
Pan narrowed his eyes at her. “I wouldn’t betray my vows that way, Nina. I care for you too much.”
“That’s the spell talking, Pan. You feel that way now because of it, but if you were free of it you’d betray me just like any other man would. You forget how long I’ve lived in the world, and I’ve seen very few men keep their word past the point of first infatuation.”
“I’m not just any man. I’m a god, Nina. My word is good.”
Nina’s laughed insolently. “Don’t tell me that, Pan. You forget how long I’ve been around. Gods aren’t that different from other people. They fight and scheme and cheat. Your word isn’t any different from any other male’s.”
Pan’s face showed cold fury as he stood and strode away from the bed. He grabbed a loincloth and threw it around himself. “I’m sorry you have such a low opinion of men, Nina. I’m even more disappointed that you could count me among those who would hurt someone they love.”
He headed for the exit from the bower.
“You don’t love me, Pan,” Nina called after him. He didn’t stop, just continued on his way, and it infuriated her. “And besides, why shouldn’t I count you that way? You’re the one who gave me my first lesson in betrayal, three hundred years ago.”
Now he stopped and she saw him flinch at her last words. For long moments Pan stared at her. “You really can’t get over that one mistake I made. No matter how long ago it was, what I’ve said, or how I’ve apologized, you can’t forgive me.”
“No, I can’t. Vengeance nymphs aren’t very good at forgiveness. I can’t forgive you any more than you can stop being what you are, Pan.”
His mouth moved and she thought he was going to say something more, but he didn’t. Nina hesitated at the hurt in his face. He left the bower without another word. Seconds later she heard the telltale whoosh of his transport out of the garden.
Once she knew he was gone, Nina bent over and gave in to the tears that had threatened since she’d realized what he wanted.
Pan wanted her to become his wife? It was unthinkable. When the spell ended the only thing she would have to fall back on was that she’d be able to go back to her old life without entanglements to Pan. Even now their lives weren’t so closely intertwined that she couldn’t go back to being simply Nemesis.
Becoming his wife only to lose him later would make her a laughingstock on Olympus. She’d lose everything, including her pride.
In all her life she’d never lost that and she wasn’t going to allow it to be jeopardized now.
Nina’s sobs subsided somewhat and she wiped her eyes on the sheets. Black satin sheets, the same ones she’d had in her apartment, she realized. Pan had taken over her possessions with the same passion he’d used to take over her, expecting to keep her and her things in his home.
So strange. She’d shed tears at being asked to marry. It wasn’t her first offer…Earth men had occasionally grown over-fond of her and asked her to wed. She’d been flattered or had laughed at their audacity, but this was the first time she’d cried. With a start she knew that she would have been so happy at his proposal if she could have trusted it. Or trusted him.
Bitter tears mingled with her laughter. Pan honestly thought he could turn over a new leaf and become a faithful husband? It was impossible.
Nina pulled herself out of the now lonely bed and dressed. She’d hurt Pan—she knew that. Maybe this would be the final blow that ended their relationship. It was hard to see them going back to their simple cohabitation arrangement after she’d spurned his offer of marriage. But all she’d done was point out the truth. He wasn’t meant for marriage any more than she was. Or, at least she wasn’t meant for marriage to anyone but the one man she couldn’t trust that far.
Maybe after he cooled off he’d realize she was right and they could go back to the way things had been.
For a moment she wondered where Pan had gone…probably to see Hep, she decided. That could be to the good. Maybe the goddess of love’s husband could talk some sense into him. After all, he’d had plenty of experience to share about unlikely marriages. Maybe Hep could make Pan see that she was right.
Nina swallowed hard, willing herself not to cry again. She didn’t want to lose Pan over this sudden wish he had to get married. They’d been getting along so well during the past six months, she’d hate to see them break up now.
Marriage. It was the best way to destroy a great relationship.
* * * * *
“Hep, how long have we been friends?”
The big god had to think about it for a moment. “I’m honestly not sure, Pan. A long time, I know.” He watched Pan take a sizable sip of ale from the second mug he’d asked for since arriving uninvited at Hep’s door that morning. The god had taken one look at his friend’s tragic face and hauled him to his den, avoiding Aphrodite’s curiosity. Whatever was going on between Pan and Nina most likely didn’t need his wife’s meddling.
Pan stroked his beard, staring off into space. “I was just wondering. I could be a real bastard three hundred years ago.”
Hep snorted. “Three hundred years ago? Pan, I sometimes have trouble remembering a week ago. How should I know how you were like back then?”
“Nina remembers,” Pan said softly. “I barely remember what came between us back then, but she does. And she hasn’t forgiven me, either.”
Curious in spite of himself, Hep leaned closer. “You want to talk about it?”
Pan gave a short laugh. “I might as well tell you about it. I was going to ask you to be best man.”
“Best man, as in at your wedding? You and Nina getting married?” Hep beamed happily. “I’d be honored.”
A wan smile crossed Pan’s face. “That’s excellent, I’ve got a best man. Now all I need is a bride.”
Uh-oh. Hep patted Pan’s shoulder. “She turned you down? How come?”
“She doesn’t trust me. Doesn’t trust that I really love her. Says it’s all the spell. And some of it is my fault, because of what I did to her.”
“You mean this three hundred-year ago thing? What was it?”
Pan leaned back, his face etched with pain. “That’s part of the problem. I barely remember what happened. I’d met Nina and we’d hit it off really well. I’d had sex with a lot of women, but she was special. Really intense, like it was all new to her.”
“New? You mean she was a virgin?”
“Nope…but she might as well have been. I don’t think she’d ever had an orgasm before. We were in bed constantly, trying new things. It’s been like that now, only even better.” He hesitated and Hep thought he was going to say something more but Pan changed the subject instead.
“It lasted about a week, then I did something insanely stupid. I went to one of Bacchus’ wine parties without her and met someone else.” Pan turned a morose face to Hep. “I can’t even recall her name or face, in fact I can’t even remember having sex with her, but I bet Nina remembers the woman’s sandal size. I tried explaining that I was hardly in possession of my faculties and that the other woman meant nothing to me but Nina was out of my life so fast I could have sworn she’d borrowed Mercury’s wings.”
Hep grimaced. That was a bad mistake, one of the worst a man could make. “So that’s how you lost Nina last time. But things have been really good now, right? And you haven’t fooled around on her.”
He waited a moment and raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Have you?”
The god of the forests raised his furious head. “No, I haven’t. I haven’t touched another woman since Nina came back into my life!”
Pan’s vehement reply reassured Hep. Maybe it wasn’t too late to patch things up. Hep rather liked the idea of being a best man for his bes
t buddy. He had a special formal toga he was dying to wear and a wedding would be a perfect venue.
Besides it would make Pan happy to marry Nina, and that’s really what this was all about.
“So if you haven’t given Nina any reason to doubt you, what is the problem?”
“She thinks it is all because of that wretched spell, that that’s why I’ve been faithful to her. She believes that as soon as it ends I’ll run off, chasing the next pretty woman that gives me a wink.”
“She believes that, even though you’ve told her how much you love her?”
Pan hesitated and Hep watched as a look of wonder took over the other man’s face. “I do love her, don’t I? That’s not infatuation, is it, Hep?”
“No, it isn’t.” Hep said gently. “You really do love her and that’s not something that can be faked with just a spell.” He thought for a moment. “At least I don’t think it can, but I suspect we better ask an expert.”
Before Pan could interfere, Hep strode to the door and opened it so briskly that his wife nearly fell into the room. “I think you better get in here, Appie,” he said. “This is more your department than mine.”
Sheepishly, the goddess Aphrodite glided gracefully into the room, her glorious complexion pinking over having been caught spying. At Pan’s glare her cheeks turned a dusky rose.
“I was concerned when Pan came so early. I thought I might be of help,” she tried to explain away her presence just outside the door.
“It really isn’t your business, goddess.”
Appie settled onto one of the smaller chairs in the room, a delicate short stool that Hep kept especially for his wife’s infrequent visits to his den. She always complained about the massive size of the seating he needed, saying it made her feel unladylike to have her feet swinging off the floor.
“If it concerns you and Nina, of course it is my business. I was the one who shot you with Eros’ arrow. Accidentally, of course,” she added, shooting a quick glance at Hep. He shook his head over her insistence it had been an accident. He knew Appie too well to believe she hadn’t somehow planned to hit both Nina and Pan.
Divine Interventions: Nemesis of the Garden Page 12