by Ginny Aiken
“Knock it off, Haley. You just hurt a kid who did nothing to you in the first place. I want to know what’s up with you.”
“You’re not my conscience, you know. I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“And I don’t have to let you back into my place.”
I glared.
He stared.
Neither of us budged.
But I knew he was right. And his steadfast stare broke through to me. I began to shake. My stomach flipped, and the tears began to pour. The images of Marge and KC clicked through my mind, their rhythm fast, steady, relentless.
Death is so final, so ugly when it’s violent.
I dropped onto the couch. Tyler tossed me a box of tissues. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, but the tears continued to fall.
“Have you talked to Lila in the last few days?” I asked.
“No. Seems she’s got a couple of tough cases on her hands right now. She even called off teaching her class on Wednesday mornings.”
“Well, there you have it. I did it again.”
His dark brown eyes narrowed. His voice lowered and deepened. “You did what again?”
“I stumbled—what a word!—on another corpse.”
“Run that by me again.”
“Okay. Here’s the whole scoop...”
I gave it to him, blow by gruesome blow, even the Bali and Faux Bali fiasco. When I was done, my eyes had dried up, but I didn’t feel a whole lot better.
“You know what you got to do, don’t you?”
I shrugged.
“Give it up, Haley. You messed yourself up long enough with that closed-up attitude of yours. It’s too clear to me you need to go to Tedd before you fall apart again.”
No great news there—the falling apart bit. I just didn’t want to go through the mind-churning ordeal of spilling my guts to my shrink-turned-friend. “I’m okay. I feel way better now that I talked to you. There’s no need to bother Tedd. You know how busy she is all the time.”
He stared on.
Well, I hadn’t really lied. I did feel better now that I wasn’t bawling anymore and my nose wasn’t so snotty.
But that wasn’t what he meant. He knew where I was trying to go here. He refused to let me get away with it.
He held out his red phone. “Call her.”
“Oh, I can’t interrupt Tedd right now. She’s got to be with a client.”
“Call her.”
“Okay. I’ll call her as soon as I get home.” I stood, ready to make a run for it.
“You’re not going anywhere until you call her.” He reached back and picked up something from his desk. With a grim smile, he jingled my car keys.
“Hey! That’s against the law. You stole my keys.”
“It’d also be against the law to let you go out there all messed up like this, to let you hurt someone. A couple of someones, you and someone else.”
I glared.
He stared.
Finally I blinked in our little game of chicken. “Oh, all right.”
The conversation with my counselor, a good friend of Tyler’s wife, was short and to the point. She would meet me under the nearest Golden Arches. We’d reached a point in our relationship where we were more friends than psychologist and client. Last year, a short time after my arrest, we began to meet at McDonald’s. We’d kept it up, even though these days I could afford to feed a crowd at any five-star joint, sadly, thanks to Marge’s death. Tonight’s meeting wouldn’t be just a meal between two good friends.
I rounded on Tyler. “So. Are you happy now?”
“Satisfied, but not happy. I won’t be until you’re in a better place. Have you given prayer much thought?”
I sighed, exhausted, anxious, troubled. “I’ve done little but. It’s just that KC died in such a strange way. And no one seems to know or even care what happened to her baby. It’s eating me alive.”
He took the phone from my clenched fist. “Ever since your attack, you’ve had a thing for victims. But if you don’t get some perspective, it really will eat you alive.”
A detailed study of my Birkenstocked feet became wildly appealing.
Tyler went on. “You know you have to keep the date with Tedd.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“And you know just as well that it’s Lila’s job, not yours, to find out what happened to the teen and her baby.”
“Yeah, but—”
“No buts, Haley. Let Lila do her job.”
“The baby’s missing, Ty. Why doesn’t anyone get it? It’s so little, has no way to protect itself. I have to make sure it doesn’t get hurt. That it doesn’t die too.”
“You don’t have to do anything but go see Tedd.”
I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders. “Fine. But if she doesn’t agree with you, you’ll have to get off my case.”
“She’ll agree.”
“Not if you don’t call her ahead of time.”
“You know I wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m not so sure. You always think you know everything.”
“Nowhere near everything. I just know you.”
“Gee, thanks.” I could talk circles around us both until we dropped from exhaustion or boredom, but nothing I said would change his mind.
Nor would it change the facts.
I needed to see Tedd.
“Okay, sensei. You win this round. I’ll go eat burgers with Tedd. And I’ll let Lila do her job—I’d like to see me try to stop her.”
He smiled for the first time. “The two of you are well matched.”
“You should know.”
“That was one of the most instructive moments of my teaching career. I learned way more than I think either one of you did. I now know you and Lila better than I did before I pitted you in that match.”
“Don’t go doing me any more favors.”
“Ah... but that’s just it. You haven’t figured out yet what a favor I did you. Someday you and Lila are going to be the best of friends.”
“I doubt Karate Chop Cop would like to hear that.”
“I’ve told her more times than I can count.”
I crossed to the office door. “Lucky her. I know how it feels to have Tyler Colby pound away at you with something.”
He chuckled. “Watch your driving while you’re at it, girl. You have a lead foot when something’s not right with you.”
“Never had an accident, daddy-o.”
“There’s always—”
“A first time for everything.” I grinned. Dutch had said the same thing only a short while ago. “And this is the time for me to split. Give me the kid’s phone number, will you? I need to apologize to him.”
“Now you sound more like yourself. But you still need to—”
“I know, I know. I’m on my way. I’ll give Tedd your love.”
“Tell her Sarah says hi.”
“Your wife needs to get out more often. Between her doctor’s hours and your sweet little Mei Li, Sarah’s become a phantom figure.”
“She’s thinking about going part-time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Morning sickness is getting to her this time.”
I spun and poked a finger into his rock-hard chest. “You rat! You didn’t say a thing. Congratulations! When’s she due?”
We chatted about the soon-to-come little Colby while I went out into the hall to retrieve my duffel bag. Then, when I reached the front door to the studio, Tyler held his arms outstretched. I walked into his warm hug.
A sob hitched in my throat. “You’re a good friend, sensei. The best.”
“I love you too, sister. The Lord tells us to love and care for each other, and you’re an easy one to love. Even with that hard head of yours doing a number on me all the time.”
My chuckle died on another sob. “Hard head? Look who’s talking!”
“Ah... get out of here!” His gentle shove got me to the door. “Be careful, and be blessed with the Father’s love, Haley.”
&nbs
p; “You too, Ty. And thanks again.”
Since I had an hour to kill, I drove to the end of my favorite cul-de-sac at the north end of Wilmont, parked, and walked out onto the beach. This part of the Puget Sound’s shoreline was covered with rocks, smooth silver-gray stones I loved to touch, even collect. One never knew where in the world they’d started their trip here. I always let my imagination run with the possibilities.
But today nothing came to my mind. Nothing but the tragedy of a dead teen and her missing child. And memories of Marge, a friend I still missed too much.
I did need to see Tedd. The ache inside had grown too great.
About a half hour after I found a boulder to sit on, my cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“It’s Lila Tsu, Haley.”
“Okay. To what do I owe this rare honor?”
“Not much of an honor. I just called to let you know you can stop by the station and pick up your camera. We’re keeping the memory chip, of course, but there’s no need to bag one more thing in the evidence room. It’s crowded enough as it is.”
“You know? That’s got to be one of the most interesting places around. I can just imagine all the different stuff you have in there.”
“You’d be surprised. It looks more like a strange grocery store with shelves full of brown cardboard boxes.”
I couldn’t quite call up that image. “Bummer. You just shot down one of my favorite cop show illusions.”
Silence. Then, “You do realize, don’t you, that this is real life as opposed to a TV show?”
“Of course I realize that. Your jail cell was way too real to mistake. I just thought producers generally try to keep their shows as close to reality as possible.”
“One would think, but when it comes to law enforcement, fiction is far more interesting than reality.”
“Too bad.”
I fell silent, and Lila didn’t speak either. This was a strange call. It reminded me of the earlier one with Dutch. In spite of Tyler’s crazy prediction about a potential friendship between the detective and me, I wasn’t used to chatting with homicide detectives while watching the Puget Sound’s waves lap the shoreline. Nor sharing deep, meaningful silences either.
“No, really,” I said. “Why did you feel the need to call me on my cell? You could have left me a message on my home phone.”
Her sigh came over the air waves loud and clear. “I really shouldn’t do this, but I knew you’d want to know. I also knew you’d start bugging me soon enough and wouldn’t keep your nose out of police business. You do have a track record, you know.”
“Hey! That’s not fair. I’m the one who’s told Bella we’re no Jessica Fletchers a bazillion times.”
Lila chuckled. “That doesn’t mean you’ve walked away from your curiosity. I do know you a bit better these days, Haley.”
“Don’t remind me, okay? Our acquaintance holds some rotten memories, if you think about it.”
“Sorry. And sorry again, since what I have to tell you will make a couple more bad ones.”
Something twitched in the area near my heart. “Do you really have to tell me, then?”
“I don’t have to, but you’ll eventually learn the details of KC’s toxicology screen. We can’t keep much out of the media these days. It came back with a high concentration of Coumadin in her blood. And the autopsy showed no medical need for a blood thinner.”
A rush sounded in my ears. My heart pounded in my chest. Air became difficult to take in. I’d known it from the start.
With great difficulty, I cleared my throat. “It’s murder, then. Just as I’ve said from the start.”
“Yes, Haley. You’re right. Someone made sure KC would bleed to death.”
There are times when I’d rather be wrong.
This was one of those times.
By the time I got to McDonald’s, I knew no hamburger would make it down my throat. Even water was iffy.
Another job. Another murder.
“Are you trying to tell me something, Lord? Did I mess up when I went into interior design? Do you just want me to run Norwalk & Farrell’s Auctions?”
Not that I’d done anything to keep that business running since the day KC Richardson died. I’d checked in with Ozzie a couple of times, but the man was so efficient, and he knew his clientele and the world of antiques so well, that it was a breeze for me to just let him run with the ball, so to speak. I was glad I’d talked him into a cell phone though; otherwise, I’d never get ahold of him. He was always on the go.
Still, I had to put in an appearance at the office now and then, if for no other reason than to remember I did own the place and that there was more to my life than dead bodies, bad memories, and high levels of bile in my throat.
The stress was getting to me, and I wasn’t dealing with it well. I’d even become a menace at the dojo.
I walked into the fast-food place with as much enthusiasm as Michelangelo entering a faux-finish workshop. I spotted Tedd when she got up and flagged me down.
Few would miss the Latin beauty. Although my counselor stands at average height, she catches every eye with her wealth of wavy black hair, her warm olive-toned skin, her enormous brown eyes framed with curly lashes, and the generous smile she enhances with true-red lipstick. The white blouse with tone-on-tone floral embroidery that topped the slim black pencil skirt was eye-catching as well.
She sat back down when I reached her booth. “I’d begun to wonder if you’d decided to stand me up.”
“I’d never do that.” I plopped down across from her. “I just went to the beach to think, since I had some extra time, but while I was there, I got a call from Lila Tsu.”
“The detective?”
“Do I know another Lila Tsu?”
“What did she want?”
“Have you read a newspaper in the last week or so?”
“Sure.”
I studied my fingers as I drew a circle on the scarred laminate tabletop. “Then you have to know I was one of the two women who found the dead teen the other day.”
“I did notice that.” She took a sip from her iced tea, her gaze on me the whole time, even though I refused to look up. “What were you doing there in the first place?”
“Noreen recommended me to Dr. Marshall and his new wife. I went to look at the place, talk with Deedee, and see what she wanted done. You know, the usual interior designer gig.”
I looked down, then stole a glance at her from the corner of my eye. She busied herself with her spoonful of yogurt and fruit. After she swallowed, she said, “Why did Lila call you? Are you in trouble with her again?”
I suspect my grin looked more like a grimace than a sign of humor. “I think I’ve dodged that bullet this time. She called to tell me that tests showed the girl had very high levels of blood thinner in her system. And she’d just given birth. That’s why KC bled to death.”
“You’re telling me someone fed that child something that would increase postpartum bleeding so it would kill her?”
I shrugged and nodded. The burning in my throat kept me from saying a word.
“Haley, that’s hideous! Poor child.”
I could only manage another jerk of my head. I fought the tears with all I had.
“Who would do such a thing?” She pushed away the rest of her parfait, the wrappers from her burger and fries, and the dewy paper cup of tea. “Who is this KC? Did you know her?”
Yet one more shake of my head, and the first tear spilled out.
“I don’t understand any of this,” Tedd said. “Why would Lila Tsu call you in particular? I didn’t think you’d become so close that she would breach professional conduct.”
“We... haven’t.” I felt inordinate pride in those two words. They were hard to produce. I tried again. “She doesn’t want me to blunder into her investigation.”
“Wise woman.”
That sparked something in me—a very minor, insignificant something. “Hey...”
Then Tedd
’s demeanor changed. “Okay, Haley Farrell. Why’d Tyler make you call me from the studio? And what is going on with you? I just pushed you to where you would normally be all over me, but all you managed was a mousy ‘Hey.’ ”
My last year’s progress retreated with supersonic speed. The shakes started up again, the acid burned all the way up to my throat, and the tears poured down my face and onto the table.
“That girl... and Marge... oh, Tedd, it’s been so bad. The dreams just keep coming and coming and coming at me all night long. I wake up crying, screaming. Hour after hour. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t work. And then Bella has to go and get herself another demon-possessed cat.”
“Let’s leave Bella and cats for another time, okay? Tell me about the dreams.”
I did, even though I had to struggle to put into words the vividness of the images that haunted me. How can you voice the effect a body in a pool of its just-spilled blood has on you? Especially when you still remember being left for dead in a similar pool yourself.
My broken phrases must have done a good enough job, since I saw my anguish mirrored in Tedd’s eyes. She knows where I’ve been; she’s been there too.
When I ran out of steam, she placed a soft, warm hand over mine. “Let me tell you, for whatever it’s worth, in your situation I would’ve had the same kind of dreams. Most people, even without a rape in their past, would be traumatized by what you’ve seen. Twice now.”
“Yeah, but I’m not most people, and I can’t shake the dreams. I can’t go on like this.”
“Give yourself a break, Haley. It’s only been a few days since you found KC. It will take some time for you to work your way through this. It’s also only been about a year since Marge’s murder.”
“And here I thought I was doing so well. What a way to fool myself.”
“Stop it. You have done well—very well, actually. You’re on your way to true healing. But life doesn’t always go in a straight line. That’s why you have to make sure you lean on the Lord in times like these.”
I snorted. “What do you think I’ve been doing? My Bible gets a whopper workout every day, my knees look like elephant leather from all the time I’ve spent on them, and my throat hurts from all those cries for help I’ve sent up to the Father. And look at me. I’m still a mess.”