“I never said you had only tonight, cutie.” Cort kissed the side of her throat before shifting off the bed. “Yellow to pause a scene, not end it, right?”
Ford nodded. “That’s right.”
“I’ll take off then. Let me know if—”
“No. You should stay.” Ford shoved Akira back onto the bed, pressing his hand to her shoulder when she tried to sit up again. “Just turn off the lights before you join us.”
“You sure you don’t need more time?”
“I’m sure. I got a few seasons of Big Bang Theory on Blu-ray. We can all watch it together when we get home.”
“Works for me.”
But . . . Akira bit the tip of her tongue as Ford stretched out beside her. The light went out and shortly after, Cort’s weight settled on her other side. She held her breath as Ford pulled her up to rest her head on his shoulder. As Cort’s arm went around her waist. Having them both with her was wonderful, but . . . but it shouldn’t feel so . . . normal. Part of her could see nights from here on ending the same, with her between them, feeling like someone so precious these men were willing to share her, just to have her.
That’s not how life works. It worked for Jami. For Becky. For Silver. But in her mind, all she could see was what had happened to Dominik when he’d given his heart to a woman who wasn’t his alone.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” She reached down to lace her fingers with Cort’s. He was the only one here she was certain of. He hadn’t acted differently toward her after the scene with Dominik. He’d be her man tomorrow. And every day after. But Ford . . . she’d seen his jealous rages. She couldn’t see being a Dom changing him enough for him to want a relationship like this. But could she walk away from him again if he did? “Cort, I love you so much, but what if I’m not strong enough to be the woman you both need?”
Ford was silent, but she could feel his pulse pick up under her cheek. Behind her, Cort rose up on one elbow, smiling as he looked down at her.
“Close your eyes, Akira.”
She closed her eyes.
“You’ve seen how things can go wrong, and I get that, but I want you to tell me how this feels. From here.” He placed his hand over her chest, just above her left breast. “I didn’t make this decision with my head. I did it from the only place that counts.”
From his heart. And she could see that as she followed his instruction. He loved Ford like a brother, she could hear it in his voice every time Ford was mentioned. Choosing her over Ford would have been hard for him, but doing so when he’d clearly seen there was something between them . . .
But how did it feel for her? To know she could have everything she hadn’t even known she wanted?
“It feels right.” She grinned as she sensed the tension leave Ford’s body. Having him not being all cocky at being in bed with her was the sweet, whipped icing with a cherry on top. Lying on her back, she wrapped her hands around the back of Cort’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “But you’ll make him behave?”
“Oh yeah, that’ll be easy.” Cort snorted. “Wanna ask me if I’ll make her stop being a brat, Ford?”
Ford chuckled in a low, sensual way that made the hairs on the nape of Akira’s neck stand up. “Naw, I like it when she’s a brat. I had a feeling when she stopped running from me, she’d come at me swinging.”
“You better believe it!” Akira rolled over, spooned close to Cort, and swatted Ford’s chest. “And for your information, I’m not a brat!”
Both Cort and Ford laughed, but Cort was quick enough to grab her arms before she could smack him too. “You’re our beautiful, fiery, passionate little brat. And I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
“Our?” It was too fast. And not fast enough because she’d wasted so much time being angry. She had a feeling if she’d faced her own feelings sooner, she could have come to this place with Cort and Ford before this, but . . . but maybe not. Maybe everything had happened as it was meant to.
And maybe she read way too many romance novels. Because she truly believed that this was meant to be.
“You are ours.” Cort gathered her in his arms as Ford’s body curved against her from behind. “But quiet now. I’m tired, babe.”
“Let the old man get his rest, shorty.” Ford breathed softly into her ear. “I’ll try to behave, but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.”
“Until morning, Ford, that’s all I ask.” She smiled as she closed her eyes and felt him settling comfortably with his hand on her stomach and his cheek close to hers. “Let me wake up and see I’m not dreaming.”
Ford made a soft sound of agreement before he grew heavy against her. She heard Cort’s breaths slow, how quickly he’d fallen asleep making her feel that much better about accepting what he’d offered her. Tomorrow, she’d know for sure, but right at this moment . . .
Life couldn’t be more perfect.
Chapter Nineteen
The next morning, Akira woke before the men, but she could tell one of them had gotten up at some point because her jeans and T-shirt had been left to dry over the heater in the bathroom. After getting dressed, she went to the kitchen, happy to find a decently stocked cupboard and fridge.
For someone who didn’t plan, Cort had managed to think of all the essentials. Really, they could end up stuck here for days and have everything they needed. She’d found a week’s worth of fresh panties in one of the drawers. Plain cotton—comfortable, nothing fancy. The other drawers she’d gone through to find them had revealed boxers in extra-large for Cort, and medium—clearly for Ford. There were more pajamas like she’d worn last night, and some T-shirts and jeans that would fit each of them.
She wasn’t sure why that bothered her. She didn’t think Cort planned to keep them here long, but the efficiency of it all was troubling. As though Cort could leave any place at the drop of a hat given the right reason. Find all he needed and never look back.
After making some coffee, she poured herself a cup, pulled on her coat and boots, and went out to the back deck. She brushed snow off a wooden bench so she could sit, then sipped the hot, rich liquid as she took in the scenery. They weren’t close to the ocean, so all that could be seen from any angle were trees weighed down with glistening white. No visible roads, only the far reaches of winter surrounding them, nowhere close to letting go. They were completely isolated, with no one to answer to. No worries besides the ones brought with them. Which was plenty.
Thinking back on the night before, she considered how peaceful it had been. Then wondered if it would still be as they took this further. Cort could say he wanted this, but would he feel the same after she gave herself to Ford? And would she after he let Ford take her?
Behind her the door to the deck opened, and she glanced back over her shoulder as Ford came out. He lifted his coffee mug, taking a long sip and letting out a pleasure-filled sigh as he came over and propped one foot on the bench beside her. “You make damn good coffee, shorty. I should have you teach my secretary.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure, I’m right on that.”
His brow rose slightly. “Not a morning person?”
“I love mornings. And here . . . well, it was nice and quiet until you came out.”
“Damn it, Akira. What did I do now?” Ford raked his fingers through his hair and stared at her like he just couldn’t figure her out. “I gave you a compliment.”
“Sorry.” She dropped her gaze to the steam rising from her cup and let out a heavy sigh. Ugh, why did she let him aggravate her so easily? He probably didn’t think anything of bringing up another woman after spending the night with her. And maybe she shouldn’t care about his other women, since he’d be sharing her with Cort. She planted a pleasant smile on her lips. “You know how busy I am. But there’s a great little café down the street from the Forum. Have her get your coffee there.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.” He studied her face for several long moments. A slow grin spread across his face. “You’re jea
lous.”
As if! She snorted, pushing off the bench to go back inside. Ford ruined the scenery anyway.
“Don’t walk away from me.” Ford followed her into the kitchen, taking her mug from her and putting it with his on the counter. He placed his finger over her lips when she scowled at him. “We made a lot of progress last night, but I think we’ve still got some things to work out.”
She brushed his hand away. “Like what?”
“Like how quick you assume I’m a fucking dog playing the field. My secretary is a lovely woman, with two sons my age, and she’s been happily married for thirty years. You don’t have to be jealous of her.”
“I’m not jealous! Being jealous would be stupid considering what we’re thinking of—”
“I don’t think it’s stupid.” Ford picked her up by the hips and sat her on the counter, the movement so abrupt she didn’t have a chance to object. He placed his hands on the cupboards at either side of her head, leaning close enough so she had no choice but to look directly into his eyes. “You’re not sure of me yet, and that’s okay. I’m gonna work my ass off to give you a reason to be.”
“But . . .” She bit the tip of her tongue. Fighting with Ford had become a habit that was hard to break. But it was a lot harder to keep an argument going when he was being so reasonable. She shook her head slowly. “You’re right, I’m not sure of you. But I’m not being fair.”
“No. You’re not.” Ford curved a hand around the back of her neck. He grazed his lips over hers, smiling against her mouth. “But I’m ready to learn how to deal with that side of you. With all the sides of you.”
That made her laugh. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
“You’re wrong. I knew you when you were still vulnerable and a little broken. I was there while you struggled to put all the things that had hurt you in the past. I quietly cheered you on because I knew you wouldn’t want to hear my voice.” His lips brushed her cheek. His breath stirred the hair he tucked behind her ear. “You didn’t want to see me, so I kept my distance. But I always saw you.”
He was incredible, but for once, that didn’t sound as negative in her head as she usually meant it. Most men would have given up on a woman who treated them like Akira had treated Ford. He’d been a presence in her life, and no matter how often she’d told him she didn’t want him around, part of her had been comforted by the fact that she didn’t have to look far to find him.
And now he was right here. All hers.
Only . . . she had no clue what to do with him.
“What am I supposed to say to that, Ford? I wasn’t ready for you then.” She closed her eyes as his lips hovered a breath away from her throat, wishing he’d kiss her, or touch her. His being so close brought on the edge of heat, like sitting by a fireplace after coming in from a day out in the bitter cold, frozen to the core. She needed to burn to melt the shards of ice inside. “But I don’t want you to keep your distance anymore.”
“Good.” The scruff along his jaw lightly scratched her cheek as he drew back. He framed her chin with one hand, teasing her lips with little flicks of his tongue, refusing to give her more even when she tried to lean forward and groaned in frustration. He sucked her bottom lip gently, his eyes on hers even as he added a bit of pressure with his teeth. His hand delved into her hair as she fisted her hands in his shirt to jerk him closer. He tugged at the tangled length of her hair and smiled at her. “So demanding.”
“Kiss me, Ford.” She pulled harder at his shirt, glaring at him when he refused to move. “You’re starting to piss me off.”
“I know.” He chuckled as she hissed and changed tactics by trying to shove him away. “I can’t help it. You’re so cute like this.”
“You won’t think I’m cute when I kick your ass.” She planted both hands on his chest and pushed herself off the counter, smirking as his firm stance faltered. Up on her tiptoes, she latched on to the back of his neck, dragged him down to nip his bottom lip. Hard.
“Is that how you want to play?” His smile was vicious, his grip on her hair painful. He bent her backward, claiming her lips in a bruising kiss. Her eyes teared, but she didn’t want him to stop. Everyone she knew was always so careful with her. As though she was still so fragile she might break.
She needed that with Cort because he didn’t like these kinds of games, and she craved his pleasure at her sweet submission. But if she was going to have two men, why not have fun with the one who’d give her some slack on the leash?
Or would there be a leash? She’d loved the security of the collar when Dominik had placed one for training around her throat. Cort wasn’t deep enough into the lifestyle yet to even consider collaring her, but Ford was. Except, if he was happy to let her run wild, why bother?
The conflicting thoughts had her shaking with nervous energy as she twisted, dropping her weight the way they’d taught her in self-defense. Caught off guard, Ford released her hair, grabbing at thin air as she darted out of reach. She skidded into the living room, panting as she faced him with the coffee table between them.
Ford squared his shoulders and placed his hands on his hips, looking her over, his lips slanted in amusement. “You don’t really expect me to chase you around the cabin, do you?”
“How else are you going to catch me?” She skittered sideways in the opposite direction as he took a step around the table. His dark look had her shaking even harder and her cheeks heated as her panties became uncomfortably damp. She jumped as he strode toward her, scrambling to keep away, even though her body screamed for her to throw herself at him. Her tone was sharper than she meant it to be. “You’re not very good at this game.”
“Because I’m still trying to figure out how far you want this to go. What happens when I catch you, shorty?”
“You win.” She swallowed and braced to make a run for it. Maybe she was thinking too much. The limits would come in time. In this moment, all that should matter was one of her needs was being met. She didn’t have to give in. Ford would make her.
His next step had her tripping sideways, swiftly plotting her escape, but then his sharp tone made her freeze. “Stop.”
Trembling, she fisted her hands by her sides as he came to her. She yelped as he picked her up and dropped her on the sofa, the landing causing the air to whoosh out of her lungs. Before she could gather her wits and spring back up, he had her trapped.
“Cheater!” She laughed and slapped his chest, then bit her bottom lip, not sure if she’d gone too far.
He shackled her wrists with his hands and pulled them over her head, laughing softly as she squirmed beneath him. “I can’t cheat at a game neither of us wants me to lose.” Holding her wrists in one hand, he brought the other down to her throat with a light pressure that had her holding completely still. “One day, during the summer, I’ll bring you out into the woods and let you run as far as you can. And when I catch you, I’ll take you right there in the dirt, no matter how much you struggle.” He spoke against her lips. “But we’re not ready for that yet. I wanted our first time to be somewhere a little softer than the floor.”
And there it was, Ford doing what everyone else did. Telling her she wasn’t ready. She ground her teeth and turned her head. “Softer is good. And you better be really gentle. Otherwise, I could shatter.”
“Gentle?” Ford moved his hand from her throat and reached down to undo his belt. He pulled it from his jeans in one smooth motion, then brought it up to bind her wrists. Then he flipped her over so she was kneeling on the sofa, her bound wrists held firmly over her bowed head. “I never said I’d be gentle.”
She couldn’t help struggling against the restraints, but Ford didn’t give an inch. He undid her jeans with one hand, working them down to her knees. She heard him undo his zipper. The distinct sound of a condom wrapper being torn open.
The blunt head of him breached her, dipping in and out without filling her until she was ready to scream. Her breath caught as he finally slammed in and h
eld there, letting her adjust to having him inside her. He never let go of his grip on the belt holding her wrists, but he stroked her with his other hand, running it up and down her side soothingly, then along her thigh as he began to move in steady, even thrusts. His fingers slipped between her folds, at either side of her clit. She trembled as the sensations reached a fever pitch, so close to igniting she knew she couldn’t hold back for long.
But then he whispered in her ear, “So easy. All I have to do is get inside you and you’re all mine.”
“All mine.” She shook her head, shocking herself with the low growl that came out of her as she bucked against him, not sure if she wanted to throw him off her or take him deeper. She hadn’t forgotten Cort. She didn’t belong to Ford.
And yet, she did. Because Cort had allowed it. She stiffened, breathing hard, mindlessly seeking out her man. She cried out as Ford pistoned into her, the pleasure trying to drag her under, but an emptiness kept her from letting go.
I belong to Cort. So how could Cort not be here? He must have heard them. He was doing this for her. For all she knew, he was in the room, pacing the floor and just waiting for it to be over so he could come out. He’d known it would come to this, but did it bother him?
“I’ve lost you.” Ford pulled out and flipped her over again so she was facing him. “Why?”
“I’m afraid.” But she wanted him back. She wanted Ford inside her, making her forget everything else. Only . . . she couldn’t forget. Cort was part of her. Nothing would ever change that.
“Don’t be afraid, just tell me what you need.”
“You’ll hate me.” She drew her knees to her chest, her arousal fading as she came to realize how badly she’d messed up. “God, I’m sorry!”
Delayed Penalty (The Dartmouth Cobras #5) Page 32