What a waste.
Disappointment made me want to cry, and I didn’t notice Andrew shifting in his seat until his head was right next to mine in the dark of the backseat. “In case no one else told you,” he said in that soft, low drawl of his. “You look really beautiful tonight.”
I felt my insides do a strange twist and then a leap at the unexpected compliment. “Thank you.”
He moved away again and I was once more able to breathe. Some of that crushing disappointment dissipated a bit as I tugged at the hem of the shirt. Okay, so maybe it hadn’t been a total waste…
We dropped Andrew off first, and then Rose. I waited in the car and played around on my phone as they shared an epically long kiss as if they were saying goodbye forever and not just until the morning.
When Jax got back in the car and I moved up to the front seat for the drive home, Jax was still wearing a dopey lovestruck grin. “You have a good night?” he asked.
I nodded and realized...it wasn’t a total lie.
You look beautiful tonight.
My lips quirked up in a stupid grin that probably matched Jax’s, and I hid it by looking out the window. All in all, it hadn’t been a bad night at all.
The weekend flew by like usual—some hangout time with Jax, some time on the couch listening to my dad critique the latest films that were streaming, and some time alone in my room working on my art or studying.
What can I say, I’m a wild child. No sleep till Brooklyn, am I right?
By Monday, I’d started to think that maybe I’d made a mistake going to Rose. I mean, up until now all it had gotten me was a few embarrassing interactions with one of the most popular guys in our school.
I was ready to just give up on the whole experiment, except my friends apparently had other plans. While I’d spent the weekend coming to grips with the fact that maybe girls like me just didn’t get hot rocker guys like Tony, Avery had apparently spent her weekend...studying.
Her bio class was in the same hall as my history class and she darted in right before the second bell rang. Other students were still filing in as she raced over to me, depositing a magazine on my desk that had several bright sticky notes jutting out of it in every direction. “I marked the best strategies for you,” she said, her voice breathless and her smile huge. She wiggled her fingers at me as she turned back the way she came. “I can’t be late for class. Read these and let me know what you think, ‘kay?”
She was gone before I could answer. I stared down at the image of a smiling, perfect supermodel. This was so stupid. I shouldn’t even bother….
Curiosity won out before I could finish that thought. I flipped open to the first sticky note. The headline at the top of the page read, “How to Catch Your Crush.”
I snorted in amusement. Catch a crush. They made it sound like deep sea fishing or something. So dumb. I should just shut it and stick it in my bag or—
“Please tell me you’re not really going to start copying your crush’s body language,” a familiar low voice said in my ear. “I don’t know which one was your guy but they all had terrible posture.”
I slammed the magazine shut, ignoring Andrew’s soft laughter beside me at my expense. I kept my head down and shut my eyes in complete and total humiliation.
“Aw, come on,” he said. “That was just getting good.”
I drew in a deep breath and let it out, sneaking a peek at him out of the corner of my eye. He was giving me that smile. The one girls everywhere swooned over.
Not me, obviously.
Sure, he was hot, but he might as well have lived in a different universe.
The only reason I didn’t burn alive with embarrassment was because his eyes were kind. He might have been laughing at me, but there was nothing cruel about Andrew. I’d give him that. He wasn’t a bully, just a hottie.
It was hard to dislike a guy just because he was too attractive for his own good and had more laid back charm than any one human being should ever possess.
Actually, no. Scratch that. I could totally dislike him for that. But it was getting harder by the minute. Especially when he gave me that warm look like he was doing right now as he leaned toward me. “You know you don’t need any of that garbage, right? You don’t need to change a thing to…” He eyed the magazine with a flicker of amusement. “To catch your crush.”
My lips did something weird as I fought a laugh and a wince. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the current status of my patheticness.
Luckily our teacher’s voice calling our attention solved the problem for me. I didn’t laugh or cry, I just ducked my head and opened my notebook, shoving the magazine into my bag at my side.
But if I thought that would be enough to make Andrew forget the idiotic magazine article I’d been caught reading, I was mistaken.
Later that day I was alone at our lunch table again, although this time I saw Jax coming. Despite their new status, Rose liked to have lunch with her best friend Hannah, and Jax and I still had our routine. But that didn’t mean he didn’t linger at their table. Again, like they would never see each other again.
“Please tell me you brought that magazine with you.” Andrew’s voice to my right made me jump. I hadn’t seen him sit down but there he was. Like always. Just… It normally seemed like we were at the same table but eating separately. Like one of those communal seating tables at a restaurant. You might technically be sharing the same space but everyone pretended that the other people didn’t exist. There was an invisible wall that separated them.
“Can I see it?” Andrew asked, his free hand reaching out to me in a ‘gimme’ move as he used his other to stab a piece of grilled chicken on his plate.
Andrew had officially broken the invisible barrier and I frowned at him. “No,” I said. “You’re just going to make fun of me.”
His brows hitched up in an expression that said ‘well, yeah. Obviously.’
“Hey, what did I miss?” Jax sounded out of breath as he dropped into the seat beside me, looking between me and Andrew with outright curiosity.
Finding me here talking to Andrew was definitely a first.
“Uh…”
I looked to Andrew and he gave me a wink that on anyone else would have been ridiculous. On him it was stupidly sexy. Then he did the grabby hand thing again and I glared at him.
“What am I missing here?” Jax asked as he looked between me and Andrew. By the tone of his voice, I knew. I just knew. Jax was getting all overprotective older brother on me, which he was prone to do, especially at lunch when I was the odd man out.
“Nothing,” I said. But I said it too quickly and I could feel Jax’s probing stare on the side of my face.
He turned his attention to Andrew, whose grin never faltered as he lifted his hands in mock defense. “Nothing.”
Both of them were watching me now, and I had a hard time meeting Jax’s stare. I’d never kept secrets from him before.
Okay, fine, maybe I didn’t tell him that Rose was playing him a few weeks ago, but really...that had been for his own good.
I’d never kept secrets about my own life, though, and I felt a surge of guilt that Andrew, of all people, knew something about me that my best friend didn’t.
As if he could sense my guilt, Jax narrowed his eyes on me. “Simone…” He dragged my name out like my dad used to do when he was getting ready to count to ten.
“It’s nothing.”
He tilted his head down and his brows hitched up in disbelief. “You’re a terrible liar.”
I heard Andrew snort-laugh beside me.
“It’s not much,” I amended.
Heat was already creeping into my cheeks as Jax’s stare bore a hole into me and Andrew’s gaze threatened to burn me to a crisp as he watched this scene unfold with amusement.
How had I never noticed that he’d been paying attention to me and Jax this whole time?
Oh crap. How much had he heard?
Snippets of conversations past came bac
k to me like a tsunami and that creeping heat burst into flames. Ugh, no wonder he was always smiling when I looked his way—he was always laughing at me.
Jax leaned forward, “Simone, you’re killing me here. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
I huffed. This would only get harder to spit out the longer I waited. “Everything is fine. I just…” I swallowed down my nerves and hesitation. “I have a crush.”
Jax’s eyes went so wide you’d think I’d just told him I was a man. “On Andrew?”
“What? No!”
I heard Andrew give another little snort of amusement.
Jax didn’t seem to notice. “Are you sure? I’d understand if you did.”
I leaned in toward Jax. “He can hear us, you know.”
Jax didn’t care. “So, it’s not Andrew?” He seemed mystified by this. I was sure that was exactly what Andrew’s ego needed.
“Not Andrew,” I said.
“Then who?”
My mouth went dry. This was Jax. My best friend. I shouldn’t feel so weird about this. But I did, because he knew me. He knew Tony. And if he laughed…
It was the flicker of hurt in Jax’s eyes when I didn’t answer right away that finally loosened my tongue. “Tony.”
Jax stared at me blankly like he’d never heard that name before. “Tony,” he repeated slowly. His brow drew together in obvious confusion.
Well, at least confusion was better than laughter.
“Tony?” He shook his head. “My Tony?”
I rolled my eyes. We didn’t know any other Tonys, at least none who came to mind. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you liked...Tony?” His face was scrunched up like this had blown his mind. “Seriously? Tony?”
Hurt made my chest feel tight. This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted to tell him. If my best friend thought I was too much of a loser for his bandmate, what would Tony think?
I looked down at the table. “Just forget about it.”
“Are you sure you don’t like Andrew?” His voice was strained. Almost hopeful. As if Andrew was more likely to like me back. Ha!
“Ew, no,” I said. “Definitely not.”
“I am literally right here.” Andrew’s mild, amused voice to my right made me stiffen.
Crap. I’d kind of forgotten he could hear us. Old habits, and all that.
“I just…I just don’t see it,” Jax said.
And there it was. There and gone so fast he probably didn’t even know he’d shown it, but I’d caught the flicker of pity in Jax’s eyes.
I scooted my chair back so quickly it made a screeching sound that made Jax wince.
“Hey, Simone, don’t be mad, I just meant—”
“I know what you meant, and it’s fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “I get it. I really do.”
The sad thing was? I did get it.
I snagged what was left of my lunch as I stood. “I almost forgot I’d told Lulu I’d eat with her today so we can talk about our art project.”
“Simone,” he started to protest.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at Jax, afraid that I’d see that pity again. Instead, I made the mistake of meeting Andrew’s gaze.
There was no pity there, but there was no smile either. He was watching me steadily. Those pale, pretty eyes fixed on me like I was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.
I forced a smile for both their sakes as I patted Jax on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a stupid crush.”
And it was pathetic.
I was pathetic.
I knew exactly what Jax meant when he’d said he couldn’t see me and Tony together.
The truly depressing part?
I couldn’t either.
7
Andrew
* * *
I should stay out of it. I so didn’t need this level of drama in my life.
I had enough on my hands with a baseball season to prepare for and grades to maintain and...well, that was it, really. I went to parties but it wasn’t like I had any good friends here. My siblings had all moved out so it was just me and my mom rattling around the big house we’d bought with my dad’s life insurance policy.
So no, I didn’t need this kind of drama, but also…
What else did I have to do?
Man, that was depressing. My life had come down to this. Helping a cute little nerd score with another dude.
“What’s her problem?” Jax asked.
I just barely held back an eye roll. Instead I gave him a baleful look that I was pretty sure said loud and clear that he was an idiot.
I mean, I liked the guy and all, but he could be such a moron.
Like right now, for example.
“What?” Jax said. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Rose fell into Simone’s abandoned seat before I could respond. Her gorgeous supermodel features were furrowed into a fierce scowl that made me fear for Jax’s life.
“What did you say to her?” she demanded, pushing Jax’s shoulder for good measure. “Why did Simone run off like that?”
I sank back further into my seat. I didn’t know what kind of good luck had befallen me that I’d gotten stuck sitting at this table all these years, but one thing was sure—it never failed to provide entertainment.
“What did you say to Simone?” Rose’s expression shifted. “Did she tell you?”
Jax leaned forward. “You knew she had a thing for Tony?”
Rose’s smirk said it all.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.
Rose crossed her arms. “Because Simone wanted to tell you herself. And she felt weird about it…”
“Why?” He sounded so hurt I almost felt for the guy.
Almost.
“Why do you think?” I asked.
Both of them turned to face me with nearly identical expressions of shock.
Seriously? Was I just invisible to these people? I let out a sigh as I crossed my arms.
“What does that mean?” Jax asked when he recovered from his surprise that I did, in fact, have ears.
“It means you acted like a jerk, man,” I said. He’d acted like she’d feared he would. I didn’t say that because it wasn’t my place. I mean, how did I know what she’d been afraid of?
But I had known. I’d seen it written on her face, plain as day. The reason she’d been nervous, her fears confirmed...I’d seen it so clearly I’d almost felt it myself.
Rose was busy smacking Jax’s arms in response to what I’d said. “What did you do? She’s vulnerable, Jax!”
“Ow, cut it out,” Jax said, trying to avoid her next swing. “I didn’t say anything.”
Rose turned in her seat to face me. “Andrew?”
“He didn’t say anything...too bad.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jax said. “It’s not like I laughed at her.”
“You’d better not have,” Rose growled. “That poor girl is like a baby chick—”
Jax gave a snort of disbelief and I couldn’t help my own choked laugh.
“A baby chick?” Jax said. “Simone?”
“Fine,” Rose said with a roll of her eyes. “Maybe not a chick. But she’s...she’s…”
Innocent. Weird. Sweet. Genuine. My mind filled in the blanks too readily but Rose went with, “Naive.”
Jax blinked. “Simone? She’s the smartest person I know.”
“There’s a difference between smart and worldly,” Rose said with exaggerated patience. “Simone is...innocent when it comes to boys and dating.”
Jax looked pale. I imagined that’s the way I’d look if anyone tried to talk to me about my sister’s love life and my sister was three years older than me. No one wanted to think of their sibling like that, and I knew from having hung around them for so long that Simone was basically a little sister to Jax.
“I didn’t say anything bad,” Jax said.
Onc
e again, Rose looked to me for confirmation. I shifted in my seat. Crap. This was why I stayed out of others’ business. I’d gotten really good at standing on the outskirts. Fitting in without being a part of it all.
“Spit it out, dude, what did I do wrong?” Jax asked. He looked so distraught I actually felt for the guy.
I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh. “I’m guessing she thinks that you think she’s not…” I waved a hand as I looked for the words. Man, I hated this crap.
“She’s not what?” he snapped.
“Good enough for him,” I finished.
They both stared at me in horror for so long that I scooted my seat back. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just—”
“Oh no you don’t,” Rose snapped.
“Why would she think that?” Jax asked.
“You acted like it was the craziest thing you’ve ever heard of.”
“Because it is,” Jax snapped. “Tony has the intellect of a rock. She’d be bored to tears with Tony.”
“Did you tell her that?” Rose asked.
“No.”
“No.”
We both answered at once.
Rose groaned and rolled her eyes. “So she thinks you disapprove because he’s out of her league or something.”
“What? I never said that. Why would she think that?” Jax asked.
Rose shook her head as she reached over to pat his cheek. “Thank goodness you’re so pretty, babe.”
I let out a huff of amusement and even Jax’s lips twitched with grudging amusement.
Rose sank back in her seat. “Well, if he’s really that dumb—”
“And boring,” Jax added. “If he didn’t play the bass so well I’d have kicked him out ages ago.”
“Fine, if he’s such a dud then Simone will figure it out for herself,” Rose said. “But this is the first time she’s liked a guy. It’s her first crush. She’s going to be super sensitive and vulnerable...” She narrowed her eyes as she glared at Jax. “You’re going to have to make this right.”
Jax nodded and I found myself trying not to fidget as they talked. I didn’t know her well but I knew without a doubt Simone would hate that I was hearing this.
Her first crush. Did that mean she’d never gone on a date?
Striking Out With The Star Pitcher: How to catch a crush #1 Page 5