With that his head snapped up, and he leaned on a box. “Really? So odd you would choose Jeff Gordon to NASCAR.” He laughed. A sweet laugh really although she knew he was mocking her. Bastard. “So which two boxes are left? I can go through one.”
Pointing to the two nearest her, he reached over and effortlessly pulled the box onto the pile before him. “Matthew James, the Rock Star God of Teenage Boy Books.” He ripped open the box and rifled through, pulling out a couple. “Any particular titles? Or everything and anything that bears his name?”
“Everything.” Her checklist had thirty titles on it, with at least ten copies of each, but she hadn’t crossed off how many of each she’d located.
He added his finds to the huge pile on the cart. “Who the hell packed this? A kindergartener? What a mess. No wonder it’s taking so long to find anything.”
In spite of herself, Aurora found herself smiling. “I know, right?” She turned her attention back to the box, searching and moving books around but came up empty.
After the last box, Aurora straightened herself up, and rubbed her back. The dull ache that started a podcast ago grew in fury. She needed her pills, and fast, or she’d have some real explaining to do when she could no longer move because of the pain. The sweat beaded along her temples, and she wiped it quickly away.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, why?” She pulled down the sleeves of her shirt when she saw him staring at her arms. It made her self-conscious to have her scars visible, as it always lead to prying questions, most of which were no one’s business.
He turned his reddened head. “No reason.” He moved a box against the back wall, and added another on top of it. “Let’s start replacing these, and get you out of here before they lock us in.”
“Would they do that?” she asked in a panic, her voice suddenly shaky. I mean, they’d check first to make sure everyone had clocked out, right?
“No.” He laughed, checking his watch. “But I wouldn’t want to find out I’m wrong.”
With that, Aurora moved the boxes as fast as she could. Pain crept into the depths of her bones, and her back ached more than she’d ever vocalise, especially to a stranger, no matter how cute he was. Without some medication, she’d seize up tight enough to require more help than her muscle relaxers could provide.
“Done,” he said, lifting the last box onto the top of the pile.
With the precious stairwell door he’d blasted her about visible again, she sighed with relief. But she was only relieved that the boxes were moved. She still needed to get upstairs and grab a muscle relaxer, and likely a pain reliever too, as the pain stabbed her repeatedly. “Thanks for your help.”
“My pleasure. I’m sure Mr. Rock Star God of Teenage Boy Books appreciates you digging through this disaster of a filing system.” His gaze travelled over her body, and rested where her hands firmly massaged her back. “You sure you’re okay?”
Dropping her hands, she forced a smile through her grimace, hoping it appeared sincere. “Absolutely, why wouldn’t I be?” She stepped around him and grabbed the cart with enough force to turn her knuckles white. Oh please, let me make it upstairs before I scream out in pain. She pushed it towards the elevator, biting the inside of her cheek until the metallic taste danced on her taste buds.
The doors opened to the elevator and limping as little as she could, she entered. The man who’d been helping her also stepped on.
“Thanks again for your help–” She trailed off, waving a hand around in hopes he’d fill in the gap.
“Nate.”
“Yes, Nate.”
“And you are?” He turned to her, his long lashes blinking up and down.
“Aurora.”
Something akin to a smirk settled over his face. “Like the northern lights?”
She groaned. “No, like the fairy tale.” She refused to make eye contact. After all, she had no choice in her name. It was decided before she had any input. Her mother had been a true believer in happy-ever-afters.
“Well, it’s very pretty, like you.”
The elevator doors slid open. “Oh, puh-leeze. Spare me the pickup line.” Grunting with the effort to push a full cart of books with a pained back and a bad limp, Aurora stumbled out.
“What? It wasn’t a line.” His heavy boots thumped behind her.
“Good night, Nate.” She rolled the cart away from him and into the back room. Sighing, she signed out and bid her co-worker adieu.
Chapter Three
Putting her coat on, she blinked back tears and stepped outside into the cool of evening. The sun had set and the heat of the day present five hours ago, seemed long gone. Thankful for the crisp, fresh air, she breathed it in, expelling the library basement’s stagnant mustiness.
She sat on the bench outside the library and rooted through her purse, desperately searching for the much needed pills. The intense pain, stabbing and pricking her throughout her back, no longer confined to the small area above her hips. It wrapped around her mid-section as its tentacles reached up her spine, and spread like ivy down her leg. Although she lived less than half a kilometre from the library, the walk would seem endless in this much pain. Popping a couple and swallowing them dry, she grabbed her phone and dialled, needing a mental distraction.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“How’s my Princess?”
She rolled her eyes. Always the same start to every conversation. “Tired and sore.” Instinctively, with her free hand, she gave her throbbing lower back a rub as she crossed the parking lot and headed for home.
“How come?”
“I moved a bunch of heavy boxes at work.”
“Aurora,” he said, his tone sad and pained. “You know better. Your body can’t handle that. Tell your boss.”
“Thanks for the reminder. I wasn’t aware.” Her tone filled with sarcasm. “Like I’d tell them that. It’s a miracle to have found something so close to home. I’ll make it work, and I promise I’ll try to go easy tomorrow.” You never let me forget my limitations, even though I’m not allowed to dwell on them. Push past and move on. “When I get home, I’ll have a hot bath and relax.”
“That’s my Princess.” There was a long pause on the line. “I’m not able to make it there this weekend.”
She picked up her pace and bit through the pain, hoping to make the light at the end of the street. It was a decent neighbourhood, but with her back aching as much as it did, she didn’t want to be an easy target. She wanted to get home. “That’s okay, Daddy. I don’t expect you to be here all the time. You helped me move two weekends ago into the apartment.”
“I know, but I need to keep checking in on you. As your only parent, it’s my duty.”
Sadness descended on her like a wave. There was no answer, no response to make either of them feel better. So she simply said, “I love you, Daddy.”
“You too, Princess.”
Stashing her phone into her pocket, she hurried to the main doors of the apartment tower, everything aching more from the rush.
Blinking rapidly, Aurora awoke to a sharp, piercing of needles being shoved in the base of her back and hips. It wasn’t a haunting memory, nor a bad dream, but real life.
“Fuck,” she cried. Slowly and gently, she pushed herself into a sitting position and glanced at her nightstand. The clock flashed 3:24. It had been six hours since her last pill, so she hobbled into the bathroom, and blinded herself as she flicked on the light switch. “Dammit.” Shielding her face for a moment until she focused her tired eyes on the pills stacked in her medicine cabinet, she read the labels. Xanax. Flexeril. Tylenol-3s. Ah – the good stuff – Percocet. Oh thank God. In haste, she twisted the cap off and poured two into her hands, and then changing her mind, put one back. “Fuck it,” she said and dug out another, swallowing them both.
Making her way back to the bed, she pulled open her diary and grabbed the nearby pen.
April 30 – 3:28am – 2 percs. Awoke to nasty back pain from overdoing it at work
. Hot shower and heating pad seemed to have only lessened the pain. Will try harder tomorrow to not aggravate things. Might be hard if Mr. OverHelpful Nate is there again. Don’t want to be a weak girl. Don’t want to be seen as a weak girl. Even if it kills me.
She closed her book and lay down, trying desperately to find a position that didn’t hurt, or ache. Finding none, she screamed “Fuck” into her pillow waiting for the Percocets to pull her under.
Chapter Four
The next morning, after a comatose sleep, Aurora woke still sore but manageable and readied for work. She stumbled the half-kilometre to the library, hoping today would be a better day.
Hanging up her coat in a locker, she met with the senior library assistant, and found out today she’d be shelving books. Excellent. Much easier and cleaner than going through dusty boxes in the basement. The archaic dust and musty scent followed her into the shower last night, and she was hopeful to not deal with it again tonight.
As she placed a group of graphic novels onto the shelf in the temporary teen section, a voice whispered behind her. “Good morning.”
She turned in place, slowly, so as not to make the Flexeril she took earlier work harder than it needed to as her back still throbbed. Before her stood the handsome Nate. The daylight worked in his favour, making his dark hair a touch lighter, as if it had been kissed by the sun. His eyes were an interesting shade of brown – like melted chocolate with flecks of crushed up peanuts. “Hey,” she said, as she removed her gaze from his face and focused on his attire. The beige coveralls and a white t-shirt showed off sun-kissed skin.
“So, I’ve been pulled from the renos in the basement to work on an elaborate set up for your Mr. Rock Star God of the Teenage Boys.” His placed his hands on his hips like a child does before a temper tantrum, and a hint of a pout played on his full lips. It was amusing to her, but she bit back a giggle.
“Well, I’ve seen the way you can stack boxes against the wall.” She leaned back and rested her elbows on the shelf.
“Have you seen your rock star’s list of demands? He may do a lot of good for libraries and the love of reading as you claim, but he really is a bit pretentious. Actually, he’s a lot pretentious. And I have two days to build something wonderful, and submit it to his agent for approval.” A silver ball that could only be part of a pierced tongue announced itself as his lips parted and his teeth held it in place.
Momentarily rocked by the sight, she travelled up to his eyes, and raised her own as she spoke. “So what are you doing here standing and talking to me then?”
He inched back, dragging his boots across the carpet. “Just thought I’d let you know that Mr. Pretentious is a pompous ass.”
“Duly noted.” Nate continued to stand there, scrutinizing her, and it heated her up, turning her insides into jelly. “Anything else?”
He put one foot in front of the other, but hesitated with his words. “Yeah. Oh never mind.”
With a smirk on her face, she said, “Okay. I won’t.” Quickly, she gave a side-eyed glance in his direction. After a few books left the cart, she heard the scuffling from his boots recede. She sighed and rubbed her lower back. I’m not worth it, Nate. Trust me on this. My problems are more than skin-deep.
***
Her noon break rolled around and she grabbed her bagged lunch, sitting outside in the garden area. The day was heating perfectly, and she turned her face up to the sun, hoping the natural light created a few freckles on her face and give her a colour other than ghost white.
“May I join you?”
She sighed without opening her eyes, she recognized the voice. “I don’t own the space.”
“Great.” Ripped away from her inner thoughts by the sound of his boots and the crinkling of a paper lunch bag, he sat beside her.
Aurora opened her eyes, and turned towards the noise. “Nate.”
“Expecting Prince Charming?”
“Every. Single. Day.” Closing her eyes again, she pointed her nose towards the sun.
“Not eating your lunch?”
A glance to her lunch bag still sealed up beside her. “Not hungry for what I packed. It’s grocery day.” Before she could stop him, he grabbed and opened it.
“Let’s see. You have a bagel and an orange. Nothing wrong with that. What’s this?” He held up a container and read the label.
She snatched it from his hand. “If you wanted to know my last name, all you had to do was ask.” The sarcasm rolled with ease.
“I didn’t need to. It’s written all over your lunch bag.”
Concerned that maybe it was written on her bag, she checked. It wasn’t. Jerk.
“Gotcha,” he said and turned serious. “You take Percocet? That’s some serious shit.”
“Just never mind.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Last night you were rubbing your back. Today you’re…” His eyes held worry.
“Yeah, I’m just hunky-dory.” She softened her tone. “Look, I don’t mean to be a bitch about it, okay? I have a bad back and… We’ll leave it there. Last night was too much and I’m paying for it today.” Shoving the pill container into the depths of her lunch bag, she glared at him. “Happy now?”
Nate moved away silently, and unwrapped his sandwich. “So, about that Rock Star God to the Teenage Boys.”
“His name is Matthew James.”
“Well, it seems like he needs quite the display. His requirements are incredible.”
“So what?” She stretched out her legs, crossing them at the ankle. It hurt her hips to cross them more lady-like at the knee.
“Hmm, I sense a defensive tone.” He chewed a piece of sandwich loud enough to make her cringe. What was in it? Metal? “Do you know this guy personally?”
As she turned to face him, she opened her mouth. “Not personally, no. But as I’ve told you before, he’s done incredible work.”
“Yeah, he donates his books to underprivileged children, who probably can’t read anyways, but it still makes him look good. Have you ever looked into where his donations actually go?” He raised his eyebrow at her.
She’d never checked, but always needed to defend whoever was being attacked. But Matthew James didn’t know her from Adam, so why was she hell bent on protecting his image? She felt dumb. Shaking her head, she said, “No.”
“You should. You’d find it highly interesting.”
Tugging her sleeves down until they covered half her palm, she defended his actions. “Perhaps he sends out tutors and such to help those kids read?”
“Not that I’ve read.”
“Well, what do you know?”
“More than you think I do.”
Avoiding his eyes, she admired the nearby flowers. Crocuses and daisies. “Did you come out here just to rag on Matthew James, or was there another reason you came out here?”
“You looked lonely. Thought you might like the company.”
“Well, I don’t. I don’t need anyone.” She closed her eyes and faced the sun again.
His lunch bag crinkled, and his boots scuffed against the ground.
Sighing, she turned slowly in the direction he walked. “Nate?”
“Yeah?” He paused and faced her, his hand on the door.
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry.” He opened the nearby door and disappeared inside.
“Fuck me,” she growled, grabbing her un-eaten lunch. “Why do guys have to be like that?”
She hobbled back into the library and returned her lunch to her locker, glancing at multitude of hanging posters. All highlighting Matthew James’ upcoming visit – one he sprang on the library two days ago. Perhaps non-profit organizations were willing to bend over backwards for funding or something, so the lack of notice from him wasn’t a big deal. For her, it was. She wasn’t big on last-minute changes.
Back on the floor, she sought out Nate in the construction area, confused as to why she needed to search for him. It was better to b
urn the bridges before he had a chance to even cross them. There’d be no future with her, she was too damaged everywhere to be acceptable girlfriend material.
That’s why Derek left her. Once her knight in shining armour, and always by her side, he missed their high school graduation party to be with her in the hospital while she resembled a pin cushion, tethered to the bed and unable to move. But Derek couldn’t handle it, not really. Couldn’t handle the change in the relationship, in the way she looked, more Frankenstein than Mary Shelley. She’d told herself it was his loss, but those were her Daddy’s words. She didn’t honestly believe it was Derek’s loss at all. If anything it was for the best he’d left. All her dreams were snuffed out in an instant, and her life changed forever. There was no point bringing anyone into purgatory with her.
Chapter Five
The remainder of the week flew by without a word from Nate. He worked nearby, usually within view. Pretending not to care while stocking the shelves, she’d kept her ears open wide enough to hear his workmates comment on Nate’s craftsmanship. He got along well with everyone, and had the most heart-warming laugh. The moment the hearty sound hit her ears, she’d snap up and look in his direction.
Busy decorating the tables in Matthew James’ strict colour scheme of gold and purple, she’d paid no attention to the weather. However, a crack of thunder shook the building, and terrified, Aurora dropped to the ground, covering her head. Shaking in her spot, a warm hand on her shoulder caused her to scream.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just thunder.” His face a mixture of curiosity and amusement.
Hunched on her heels, her hands slowly moved off her head, and she stared at the ceiling. “Yes, I know.” Another crash sounded overhead, and once again she cowered.
“It’s right overhead too.” A broad grin settled on his face as he asked, “Not a fan of a little storm?”
Shaking her head, she whispered, “Not in the remotest sense.”
Duly Noted Page 2