“Mmm,” he whispered into her ear. “Tell me more.”
“You’ve already seen it.” She giggled and pulled back.
“What?”
“The pickle, silly.”
He quickly leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. “A pickle? Really?” He kissed her lips, more softly this time. “I thought it would be a little more romantic than that.”
She enjoyed the taste of his kiss, flavoured with lunch and a minty aftertaste. “Oh, I’ll show you romantic.” She threaded her fingers through his sun-heated hair and pulled him beside her, kissing his lips the whole way down.
His hand wrapped gently around her back, the other braced himself up as he blocked out the sunlight, eclipsing her face. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Enough with the cheesy pickup lines. Kiss me some more.” She brought his face to hover over hers, and she stretched up, eager to meet him. His rough, chapped lips claimed her as they trailed over hers, down her neck and across her collarbone. Her hands rubbed along his strong, muscular back. The taunt outline of his muscles beneath the soft cotton shirt intoxicating. She pulled at the shirt, trying to free it from the holds of his jeans.
He broke the kiss. “Hey, lady. Slow down. Let’s enjoy this. There’ll be plenty of time for more. I promise.” He resumed his kisses along the base of her neck.
Warmed by so much more than the intense sun, he drove her wild and stirred up all sorts of naughty ideas in her head. And in her core. It heated to the sensation of his parted lips pressing into her. Breathlessly, he kissed up to her ear, and gently took her lobe into the heat of his mouth, and a new wave of desire puddled around her. “Oh God,” she whispered, trembling slightly from the tingling racing through her veins.
“You called,” he said, gazing down at her face.
She smiled, although slightly agitated he’d stopped kissing her. She stretched out to try to connect with him again.
“I think we should finish lunch first, don’t you? Don’t want it to spoil after all the effort you put into it.” He sat up, and straightened out his long legs.
“Fuck it, I don’t care if it spoils.” She rose into a sitting position, readjusted her shirt, and then gave her hair a quick fluff.
“But there are others in the park, and this isn’t the place for more.” He jerked his head towards the playground a couple hundred feet away from them.
She glanced in the direction of the kids, and then back at him. “So let’s go to my place then. It’s cooler there.” She raised an eyebrow seductively.
“So eager to get into my pants, aren’t you?”
“As you are into mine.”
“That may be true, but I can wait. I’m not going to let it happen for a while.”
“What?” Her mouth dropped open.
“I’m a gentleman. I believe in courting you first.”
“Fuck the courting, just take me already.”
“My, my. Such a mouth on you. I’ll have to fix that.” He pulled her close, and she kissed him with unabashed drive and passion.
“I’m going to swear like a trucker from now on, if that’s how you plan on punishing me.” She laughed and pressed her breasts against his hard chest as her lips parted. Straddling him, he kissed her hard on the lips. As he moved his lips down the base of her throat, she tipped her head back, eyes closed tight against the sun. “Oh, fuck, that feels good,” she whispered and as she pulled herself closer to him, a tight bulge strained against his jeans. “And you’re enjoying it too, it seems.”
His pushed her back slightly. “Yes, I am.”
“So, let’s go up to my place.” She pleaded and kissed his cheek, leaving little kisses all the way up to his ear.
“No. Not today.”
Resigned that it wasn’t going to happen without serious effort and dedication, she licked his earlobe, and gently sucked on it, pulling it gingerly with her teeth.
“Woman, you are driving me insane.”
“That’s the plan.”
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her arms and held them firmly with his hands. “But not today, okay? Let’s take this slow. I don’t want to be somebody you bed and leave the next day.”
She was taken aback. “But I wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe not, but I don’t want to find out okay?” He tipped up her lowered chin. “I’m enjoying this. Each little step with you I want to be memorable. I’m not racing to the finish line.”
“Okay. I think I understand.” I think. At least I’ll pretend I understand. Everyone I’ve been with, it’s happened relatively quick. Derek and I did it on the first date. Then there was that other guy after a night of dancing. What the hell was his name again? Oh well, and then there was other guy. Geezus, what was his name? Something about an airplane comes to mind. Jet? Yeah, that was it. Whew. I’m not a complete slut. She climbed off his lap, rooted through the cooler bag, and tossed him an ice pack.
“Oh, very funny,” he said as he caught it, and then threw it back at her.
She placed it on her chest, the cool soaking into her sizzling skin. She wanted to put it between her legs to cool the intense heat there, but thought he might find that strange.
After eating a little more, Nate stood and pulled Aurora to a stand beside him. “Let’s go to the car.”
“Wow, you sure know how to kill a mood.” But her feet didn’t move. They were firmly cemented into the ground.
With one hand in his, he rubbed the top with his other hand. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”
The car sat beyond them in the distance. “I… I… can’t. I don’t have my meds. What if something happens? What if I panic?”
“Then we’ll go get them.” His voice calm and reassuring.
Calculating the time it would take to make it up to her apartment, she grabbed her keys from the bag and pocketed them. No point needing to double back to the blanket for them, should she need them.
She slowly took the first step towards his car, parked on the edge of the parking lot nearest them. Hand in hand, she followed him over, the distance between them minimal. “Here we are. What’s today’s lesson?” She looked up expectantly into his face, happy to see the joy behind his eyes. It was clear he was happy she was going to try, and somewhere, deep down, she was willing to try. Maybe he was the key to getting over this. The power of positive memories erasing the bad ones.
“You tell me?”
“What, seriously?” She darted between him and the car, hoping an answer would appear in thin air.
“Yes. What do you want to do?”
“Umm.” Avoiding his dark brown eyes, she shrugged. “Touch it?”
He smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Always about the sex.”
Relief washed over her as she smiled. “That’s not what I meant.” Before she could stop herself she found her hands, as if by their own guidance, landing on the hood of the car.
“Tell me what you’re feeling?” he asked quietly as he stood behind her.
Her eyes slammed shut. “Heat. The metal’s hot. Burning hot.”
“What else?”
She lowered her head between her arms and breathed deeply. “Fear. Lots of fear.” Momma’s head on my body, and my head hanging out in the pouring rain. I’m confused and scared. First one hand, and then another caressed her shoulders. Each hand made its way down her arms, slowly, tenderly, stopping only when his hands covered her shaking ones.
“What do you feel now?” His soothing voice warmed her ear.
“Heat, lots of heat.” A small unguarded smile bubbled its way to her lips, popping away her momma’s image.
He kissed her ear. “What else?”
She bucked slightly, and one of his hands wrapped firmly around her waist, holding her up. “Intense heat. Lots of fear. But something else is there.”
“Your strength. I can feel it, surely you must?” He kissed the side of her neck, causing her knees to fold completely beneath her. He caught her, and spun her around, wrapping both hi
s arms around her. “You okay? You’re shaking like a leaf?”
Her breathing came in spurts. “Yeah. Let’s carry on.” She glanced at the hood, and up into his face. Heart racing, she said, “Put me on the hood.”
“You sure?”
Another quick glance back and one to the ground. If she needed to, she could puke right there. “Yes.” She inhaled deeply and wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her. Trembling, she kissed his neck, hoping her quivered kisses were firmer than she felt.
Hands cupping her bottom, he stepped closer to the car.
“Oh God,” she whispered into his ear, and gripped him until she worried her fingernails would break skin. Fear gave her unparalleled strength.
“What are you feeling?”
She shook her head against him as he lowered her onto the hood. “That I can’t do this.” She tried to pull herself off. The shaking built from deep inside her and radiated to the tips of her extremities. For a moment she was glad to be sitting, for she knew she’d be unable to stand. Wave after wave of fear washed over her as she remembered what it was she sat upon. Her stomach tightened and another fear, one of puking all over him, surfaced.
“Aurora? Talk to me.”
“I can’t. Please. I can’t. Not ready.” Her breathing came in gasps. A face in front of her, holding her face. His voice telling her that her mother’s been taken to the hospital. But where was Carmen? Her heart pounded so hard she wondered if it would break her ribs. Her grip never lost its strength though as she continued to claw at him.
“But you are.” His whisper was like an arrow shot right through her heart. “And you’re doing great.”
The pouring rain pounded down in her memory. She blinked rapidly as she stared at the EMT who spoke to her through the windshield as he touched her while trying to keep her calm. She blinked harder and tried to focus on him. He looked like Nate. But–
Involuntary shaking overcame her. Sweat filled her pores. Her heart threatened to explode. She struggled for air. “Nate.”
“Right here.”
“Please,” she pleaded, and just like that, was lifted into the air. She buried her face into his chest, tears wanting to erupt. She didn’t let go, and let out of small gasp when something hard pressed against her ass.
“It’s a picnic table,” he said reassuringly, as his hands brushed down her back. “You’re okay. I promise.” He pushed back on her shoulders. “Look at me. Aurora, open your eyes and look at me.”
Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and searched his.
“I thought you were crying, you were shaking so hard.”
“I wanted to, trust me. But I won’t.”
“Won’t?”
“I refuse. Crying’s for weaklings.”
“I don’t believe that.” He caressed her cheeks with his finger for a hundred heartbeats. “I’m proud of you. Takes some guts to climb back on the horse. And you did it.”
She blinked in the direction of the car. It had felt like her world had flipped upside down and yet, the world hadn’t changed at all. Everything was still the same as it was before she sat on the hood. Nodding to him, she said, “Yeah, I did it. Barely.”
He kissed her. “You totally did. Was it easier than last time?”
The courage was there before she hopped on and she thought she’d lasted longer than she had before, but was it easier? “No, not really.”
“Baby steps.”
She leaned into him, calming herself down, one breath at a time. “Baby steps.”
Chapter Fifteen
Safe and secure in Nate’s strong arms, Aurora leaned against Nate’s chest, finally catching her breath.
He gently rubbed her back. “All better?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Yes, much. Thank you.”
His shoulders sagged, and he said, “C’mon. I’ll walk you home.”
Aurora sat up straighter. “No.” She looked up into his patient eyes as anxiety swirled around her. “No, Nate. The date isn’t over. I refuse.” She jumped off the picnic table. “Let’s go finish our lunch, okay?”
“Really?”
“Damn right.” She tugged on his hand and pulled him over to the blanketed area. “Now sit.” She pushed him playfully onto the blanket.
“Ooh, I like a girl with dominance,” he said and a feisty grin replaced the concerned look he held moments ago.
She leaned over top of him. “I’ll show you dominance.” And she dropped her lips onto his, pushing, parting, panting.
“Whoa, slow down,” he said, coming up for air and curled himself into a sitting position. “C’mon, baby steps.”
Aurora groaned. “Fine, baby steps. It’s our thing, isn’t it?”
“Seems to be.”
“So what’s next?” she asked, cocking her head towards the car.
“I don’t know. I think we’ll continue with this for a while. Daily, perhaps.” He shrugged. “And maybe next weekend, we’ll try something else.”
Aurora bit her lip. “Speaking of next weekend–”
“Yeah?”
Do I tell him? Or not. She sighed. I’ll probe. “What are your plans?”
A hesitation. “Family things.”
“On Saturday?”
“Yeah, always. Why?” His voice full of defensiveness.
She played with the edge of the blanket. “Just curious.”
“Someday, when I think it’s time, I’ll show you what it is I do every weekend.”
“Why not tell me?”
He reached for her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. “Because I’d like it to be a surprise which I’m sure when I show you, it’ll blow your mind,” he said. The pitch in his voice betrayed the smile on his face, and for a brief heartbeat, Aurora figured it was bad – whatever it was he did.
“So I’ll be surprised?” Her blue eyes narrowed at him.
“Totally.”
“No hints?” Her cheeks puffed.
“Not a one.”
Pulling her knees to her chest, she said, “Hmph.”
“Why were you asking me about my weekend plans, are you making some of your own?” He trailed a finger down her arm, and over her knuckles before holding her hand.
“Yeah. Going to go out for dinner, hang out. Try to get some studying done.” She smiled.
“Sounds… fun?”
Aurora laughed. “No, it sounds boring as hell. But I like things that way.” Nate lay back on the blanket, and she curled up into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her hand stroked his chest.
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit.” He squeezed her hand.
“Sure I do.” Her eyes shut as the sun peeked out from behind a cloud, temporarily blinding her.
“No, you don’t.” His fingers ran up and down her arm. “But I think you’re doing great. And we’re going to keep at this. You’ll get through it, somehow, someway.”
“I’m so glad you believe in me.” She scoffed.
“I do. We’ll see how the week goes, and then we’ll try something new. I have an idea. For Friday, I mean.”
***
Friday rolled around. Although they’d agreed on doing something new with the car phobia, Aurora had no idea. But in preparation, she made sure her purse was full of Xanax, Ativan, and anything else she thought to grab.
As had become usual over the week, Nate waited for her on his car. Today was a hot one, muggy too, and he was sweating a lot as his t-shirt was stained with wetness.
“Happy to see me?” she questioned as she walked over to the grinning Nate, fanning herself.
Slipping off the car, he wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her firmly. Lovingly. Tenderly. “Always.”
“Good, me too.” She stared at the dark grey skies. “I hope it pours. This mugginess is unreal.”
“And yet, here you are in a long-sleeve shirt and pants. Why don’t you wear something more appropriate?” He tugged up on her sleeves.
“Because, m
y body is riddled with scars, and I’d rather not be a walking freak show.”
“Oh come on, they can’t be that bad.”
She pulled up the sleeve on her right arm, which he took in his hands. With a tenderness she didn’t know he possessed, he ran his thumb across the three-inch long scar that ran parallel to her brachial artery – the main artery in her arm. Had the piece of vehicular hardware punctured a half-inch closer to that artery, she could’ve bled to death.
With a tenderness she’d never experienced, he pushed the fabric up a little further and revealed another faded white mark – this one two inches long and ending at her elbow’s crease. Searching his face for disgust which she didn’t see, she tugged the sleeve back down.
“It’s not so bad. You’re bound to have scars. Everyone does. Yours are barely visible but it doesn’t change who you are.” She narrowed her eyes, disbelieving. “See this scar above my lip?” She nodded. “Bike accident when I was ten.” He pulled his shirt sleeve over his shoulder. “Underneath this tat, there’s another scar. A big one.”
“What from?”
“A dirt bike accident.” He shook his head. “It’s a long and complicated story, but it ends up with me getting about forty stitches.”
“Wow, must’ve hurt.”
“Probably did. I don’t remember. Good drugs.” He winked at her.
“And speaking of, since I have no idea what you have in store for me today–” She rooted through her purse, produced a slim pill container and popped it into his hands. “Part of my collection.” She shrugged at the concern on his face. “You know, in case I lose my marbles or something.”
“You haven’t so far.”
“There’s a first time for everything, right?”
He stared at the container and placed it on the roof of his car. “Okay, shall we begin?”
“Aye-aye, Captain Nate.” Trying to keep the mood light, she saluted him with a half-hearted smile, her hand trembling as she lowered it.
“Don’t be so nervous. I’ll be right here.”
Her lungs filled with air, and she grabbed his hand, pushing it against her chest. “Do you feel that? That’s where I need you. Here, inside me.”
“I’m already there.”
“Oh, Mr. Cheesy Pickup Lines.”
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