by Joanne Ellis
He wanted to let her in and he missed her like crazy, but he knew that he couldn't go into a relationship without trust. His head was spinning with conflicting thoughts but Jared knew if he listened to his heart, it would tell him to ignore his head.
* * *
Chelsea returned the next morning with her promised magazines and books. Charlotte was grateful as she was beginning to go stir crazy. All there was to do with her time was think, which simply confused her further, if that was at all possible.
Should she stay with Jared and show him he ought to have faith in her or should she be offended because he didn’t believe in her and return home to her family? She decided she needed a second opinion.
“Chelsea, I need your advice.”
“What’s up?”
“Jared was here last night.”
“And?”
“And I told him I was thinking about going home and he told me not to.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yes and no. He told me he wanted me to stay with him so he could take care of me but I think he’s doing it out of pity. He also said he can’t be in a relationship with me without trust.”
“Maybe you can prove that he can.”
“But I shouldn’t have to. He should have believed in me.”
“True, but are you willing to take the chance by walking away and never finding out?”
“I love him, Chelsea. How am I going to be in the same house as him knowing that he doesn’t love me?”
“You don’t know that he doesn’t. He is very guarded and probably just as afraid of getting hurt as you are. You told me to take a chance with Lucas, well I’m now telling you the same thing.”
“Fine, I will, but I don’t know if I can handle the rejection again.” She paused. “Have you heard any more about the fire?”
“Yes, they don’t think it was deliberately lit but aren’t going to dismiss arson until they have received some files from similar cases. I think they want to see if you know the guy who was the suspect in Newberry.”
“I guess we’ll find out eventually if someone wants to kill me.”
“There you go, back to making jokes again. You’re on the mend already.”
Chapter 24
Home
Later that afternoon Jared went to the hospital hoping Charlotte had decided to stay. His heart desired to be open to her but he was incapable of experiencing that pain again. It was easier to block out his feelings and concentrate on getting her well. He was used to controlling his feelings; he wasn’t used to letting go and being in love. He thought it better to stay on stable ground. Difficult as it would be to be around her and not touch her, he endeavoured to sustain his strong resolve and hoped it wouldn’t fracture.
She was resting and he was struck again by how vulnerable she appeared yet still undeniably beautiful. Her oxygen mask had been removed and her cherry lips were visible again. Now he’d an opportunity to study them again, he craved to taste them. Was he really able to do this? Could he resist her? Yes, he told himself firmly, he could.
He sat down next to the bed and waited for her to wake up. Her blonde curls needed untangling and he ached to run his fingers through them. Her cheeks had some colour back and reminded him of her blushing and how shy she could be. Was she really as fickle as he thought she was?
* * *
When she opened her eyes, he was staring intently at her and for a second she caught his expression before the wall went up. He was gazing at her for that one moment with the same adoration she’d seen not long ago.
“Hello, Charlotte. How are you feeling?”
“The same as yesterday, thank you.” Two could play the formality game.
“Have you decided?”
“Straight to the point, then?” She frowned at him, still unsure of exactly what he wanted.
“Aren’t you being discharged in two days?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I would like to get your room ready and stock up on things you will need.”
“You make it sound like a business arrangement.”
“Just being thorough.” His stony face revealed nothing. His indigo eyes gazed into hers. What did he want?
“Are you always going to be this aloof and reserved?”
“Probably, this is how I am most of the time.” His jaw clenched and Charlotte pondered exactly what it was he was holding back.
“Yes, but I prefer the other Jared.”
“He’s gone.” He averted his eyes.
“Fine, be difficult. I’ll stay with you on one condition .... ” His eyes returned.
“Which is?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“That you hear me out.”
“Very well, but you’re not going to tell me anything I haven’t heard already.”
“I might,” she said firmly. “It all started again after we came back from our weekend away. I told him I wasn’t interested, but this only encouraged him to try harder and his innuendoes were starting to make me uncomfortable so I decided to confront him. After your reaction the last time I told you about him I wanted to deal with it myself.” She paused and checked his expression which was still guarded and unreadable.
“The day you came in, he cornered me and told me he was a better match for me than you and I simply needed some convincing. I told him I was in love with you and that’s when he grabbed me and forced his mouth onto mine, hard. I tried to pull away but I couldn’t. He’s stronger than he looks. When the bell on the door rang, he was distracted and I used the opportunity to push him away which you took as me trying to hide it from you. I have absolute no feelings for him at all. I had quit and was finishing out my two weeks when I was called out on the emergency.”
* * *
Her words were ringing through his head and he barely heard the rest. She’s in love with me. He didn’t think her feelings ran so deep since he’d already presumed he was just another fling for her. The one time he’d told her he was falling in love she hadn’t returned the sentiment.
“Jared,” she said pulling him back, “do you believe me?’
“Um, I suppose.” He was incapable of thought.
“But you still don’t trust me.” Her nose crinkled and his heart lurched. This was going to be much harder than he imagined.
“I don’t know.”
“Fine, I’ll stay with you.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up on Wednesday morning.”
“I’ll be waiting with bated breath,” she replied acerbically.
He frowned at her before leaving.
Didn’t he hear what I just told him? How can he sit there and do nothing?
Once again she was totally puzzled by the man she adored.
* * *
He drove home on tenterhooks and thought it best to avoid what he thought he’d heard. Did she really say she loved me? He’d seen a side of her which could indicate his feelings might be reciprocated. He was not prepared to go down that road again. He’d already assumed she’d moved on. He wouldn’t prevail if hurt again by the only woman he’d ever loved. He should have let her go. He was crazy to think his feelings would subside being closer to her.
* * *
Her bags were packed and she was ready when he arrived on the Wednesday morning. She sat waiting in a wheelchair with a pair of crutches sitting with her bag by the bed to use when she got home. Because of the cast she was wearing, her short skirt showed more than he thought he could endure of her legs. Her tight red t-shirt hugged her curves. Desire shot through his veins, clearing his mind of anything but her. Why did she have to look so incredible all the time? Even injured, she was more alluring than ever.
He wheeled her out to his car and once he had her and the crutches aboard, he returned the wheelchair and then took her home.
* * *
“This will be your room,” he told her indicating the spare room. He placed her crutches by the door and her bags onto the bed, all the while holding her propped up w
ith one arm. “I’ll be just next door if you need me during the night.”
“I need you now,” she purred. Maybe some charm would do it.
“What do you need? I’ll do it for you.”
“Help me put my things away,” she told him rolling her eyes at his ignorance of her obvious flirtation.
“Sure, just tell me where you want everything.”
* * *
After ensuring she was comfortable on the armchair sitting in the corner, he unpacked her clothes and put them where directed. When it came to do her underwear, his imagination took over. He envisaged her in them and him removing them. How was he going to do this?
“Now take me to bed.”
“Pardon?” he asked as memories flashed through his head.
“I’m tired and would like to rest and I need you to help me onto the bed, please.”
“Of course. Then I’ll organise some lunch. I’ll wake you later when it’s ready, OK?”
“Yes, thank you.” She smiled demurely and he fought to keep control.
She was going to drive him crazy. He needed to be stronger.
An hour later he went in to wake her for lunch and discovered her silently crying.
“Are you alright? Are you in pain?” He sat on the edge of the bed and resisted the urge to run a soothing hand over her hair, to pull her into his arms.
She shook her head and struggled to find the words. “The animals.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save everyone, only you.” Her miserable expression tore at his heart.
“It’s not your fault. Poor Rufus. I fixed him up just to have him die anyway. There were six beloved pets in the clinic and they were my responsibility and now they’re gone.” She sniffed and took a shaky breath.
“Babe, there is always some kind of casualty with fire. I’ve just learnt to deal with it. I’m happy when I can save anyone or anything from a fire, like you and Max.”
Her lip quivered so he pulled her into his arms and held her until the tears stopped.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m OK now.”
He stared at her forlorn and confused face streaked with tears and his resolve began to slip. Could someone who cared this much be vindictive? His jumbled thoughts reminded him to be careful. After all, she was the one who revealed to him she’d never been in a relationship for longer than six months and even then it wasn’t serious. Why would he be any different? Added to this was the victim at the clinic. She hadn’t enquired after the well-being of anyone there with her. Did this mean she didn’t know or was she simply omitting the truth? Why hadn’t anyone told her about the animals already or the victim?
Before he could utter the words confusing his mind, she spoke. “I would love to see Max,” she said.
“He would love to see you too. I’ll take you out to the patio for lunch.”
He scooped her up and placed her gently to the ground on one foot while supporting her with his arm. She smelled so wonderful and he felt the instant tightness in his chest again. He helped her outside where Max came prancing up to see her.
“Max, calm,” Jared told him.
Max walked slowly to Charlotte and positioned his head in her lap.
She started to pat, cuddle and coo over Max, and Jared underwent the same stab of jealousy he’d experienced the first day they’d both met her.
“I’ll just go and organise lunch.”
“OK,” came her muffled reply from the coat of his dog.
Max lay beside her chair while they enjoyed their lunch. The moment they’d finished the doorbell rang, and when Jared returned he had Lucas and Maggie in tow.
“Hi, Charlotte, how are you feeling?” Lucas asked.
“Better than before.”
“Do you mind if we ask you a few questions about the fire?” Maggie asked.
“Sure, but I don’t remember all that much.”
“Do you know who the victim was in the clinic?”
“What victim?”
“No-one told you?” Lucas asked.
She shook her head.
Jared contemplated her negative response. Did she really not know that someone else was there?
“A male victim was found at the scene but we haven’t been able to ID him yet,” Lucas said.
“Do you think it was the arsonist?”
“You tell us,” Jared said and she turned to him. Her face screwed up as she did every time she was confused. “You weren’t there with someone?”
“No, why would I be?”
“I don’t know, Charlotte.”
“I’m devastated about the animals we lost. Don’t you think I would have more compassion if I thought someone I knew was gone too?”
When he didn’t answer she turned back to Lucas and Maggie. “Do you think it was the arsonist?” she asked again.
“It could be. We have many leads to follow, one in particular in Newberry,” Maggie said.
“Chelsea mentioned that but I don’t think I know anyone in Newberry.”
“That’s OK. The reason we are here has more to do with Dr Shaw,” Lucas said.
“What does it have to do with him?” she asked a little bluntly.
“He seems to have disappeared and we were wondering if perhaps he was having money problems and whether he may have started the fire for the insurance.”
“What do you mean 'missing'?” Her brow furrowed in confusion.
“He doesn’t answer the door or phone and his car is not at his premises.”
“Oh, why would he light the building while I was inside?”
“Maybe he didn’t know you were there.”
Charlotte shrugged.
“Do you know if he was having any money problems?” Lucas asked her again.
“No, as you know I knew nothing about his private life and didn’t want to. The guy is a sleaze and I’m thankful I won’t be working for him anymore.” Her lips set in a firm thin line.
“Do you know if he would be feeling any anger towards you?” Maggie asked.
“Not angry so much, perhaps rejected, although he did seem sorry about what he did. It was probably because he wanted to keep me around, I would imagine.”
“Lucas told me all about his harassment towards you,” Maggie said. “Do you think he would take it this far to hurt you?”
“He might have been pushy but I can’t imagine him wanting to kill me.”
“We have to check all angles and we don’t actually know if the fire was deliberately lit. We are trying to ascertain if it’s linked to the other arsons or if Shaw is involved at all. We won’t know until we ID the victim, and because he is missing we have to consider everything.”
Charlotte looked from Lucas to Maggie, their faces revealing little.
“You think he might be responsible for those other girls?” she asked, shocked.
“It’s possible. There are many options to consider and we have to investigate them all. Do you know if he knew Cassie Jones, Sophie Murdoch or Melanie Phillips?”
“Not that I remember. I tended to avoid any personal subjects. I wasn’t interested in his social life.”
Charlotte noted Jared standing rigid as he leant against the rail, his determinedly indifferent face lowered to the floor, his hands clenched the balcony fence at his back. Why was he upset now?
“The fire on the 12th occurred during the day. Do you recall if Shaw was there all day?” Maggie asked.
Charlotte thought about the date but nothing sprang to mind. “Not that I recall, but he did occasionally leave early or leave the clinic during the day. I wouldn’t know for sure about that particular day, not without checking the appointment book as he would leave when he had no patients. Of course we can’t check that now.”
“Do you remember anything about the night of the fire?” Lucas took over again. Charlotte turned her attention back to him.
“All I can remember is I went to lie down then I thought I heard a noise. I went to check and tripped on something in the wal
kway. I don’t remember anything else until I woke up in the hospital.”
“Do you remember what you heard?”
“Maybe a door but I can’t be sure and I didn’t see anyone.”
“That will do us for now. Let me know if you remember anything or if Dr Shaw contacts you. We are very interested in talking to him.”
“I hope he doesn’t, but I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks, Charlotte,” Lucas said giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Get better.”
Jared saw them out and, when he returned, asked what she wanted to do. Charlotte suggested a movie, so he took her through to the family room. He helped her onto the couch and sat at the opposite end.
They spent the rest of the afternoon watching the comedy she’d chosen hoping to lighten the mood, which it didn’t. The chemistry between them was thick and suffocating and neither of them laughed much.
After dinner Charlotte decided to get an early night as being close to him without being with him was too much.
Both of them slept restlessly knowing they were in a room right next to each other.
Chapter 25
Hope
The following morning Jared was woken - albeit feeling tired from disturbed sleep – by the sound of Charlotte's voice calling to him. He threw on some pants and raced to her room to find her sitting on the edge of the bed in her underwear. The bra was strapless and lacy with matching underpants which he noticed to be a g-string. What the hell was she doing?
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, eyes downcast. “I tried to get dressed by myself and found I couldn’t manage anymore than this. I really need a shower or bath but can’t do it alone and I didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask you to help.” Her cheeks coloured and his barrier threatened to crumble.