It was then that she put her hands up to her face.
It was impossible for her to believe what had just happened – but now Rupert had gone.
‘I love him, I adore him,’ she whispered into the moonlight.
The strange sensations that had moved in her body, that she was unable to express in words, had changed her whole being.
*
It was a long time later before she left the drawing room and climbed slowly upstairs to the nursery.
The lights had been left on for her, but she did not see any of her childhood toys, only Rupert’s face.
When she climbed into bed and was once again in the darkness, she could still feel his lips on hers.
The unbelievable intense feelings she now recognised as ecstasy were still sweeping through her body.
‘I love Rupert, of course, I love him,’ she said over and over again to herself.
It seemed unthinkable that he had come and gone just like that.
Yet she knew it was he, and only he, that now filled her life.
Nothing and nobody else was of any significance. She thought it would be impossible to sleep.
But actually she did fall asleep and dreamt she was still in Rupert’s arms and he was kissing her endlessly.
*
When she woke with a start, she was aware it was later than usual.
She guessed that Betsy must have come into the room and seeing her asleep had crept away.
Tania realised that this was so when she found on opening her bedroom door that her breakfast was waiting for her in the nursery.
Because she knew it would get cold, she put on her dressing gown to eat it at once.
Only when she had finished her breakfast and was practically dressed, did a footman came up to the nursery.
“Good morning, Henry,” said Tania.
“Mornin’, miss,” the footman replied. “These here flowers has just arrived for you and there be a letter too.”
Tania gave an exclamation of excitement.
When she took the flowers from the footman, she saw that they were white lilies and white roses.
She just knew that they were from Rupert.
The footman left her and she sat down in a chair to open the letter.
It was very short and yet it told her everything she wanted to know.
Rupert had written,
“My darling precious one,
“I love you, I love you so much, Tania. Think of me and pray for me, as you promised you would.
Remember that wherever I am I will be with you – always and forever.
Rupert.”
It was not only her first love letter, but the first letter from the man she loved and she would always treasure it.
It was more important than anything she could ever own.
Very gently she kissed the letter before she put it back into its envelope and then she looked at the flowers.
She felt as if Rupert was standing besides her, telling her that to him she was as pure as the lilies and as beautiful as the white roses.
She arranged them in a vase and put them on the nursery table.
She stood looking at them, thinking of Rupert and wondering where he was at this very moment.
As she did so, Betsy came in.
“Her Ladyship wants to speak to you, Miss Tania,” she said, “and her be in the boudoir next to her bedroom.”
Because it was the room her mother had always used, Tania wished she could refuse to go.
Then she told herself it was of no matter and that if Rupert was brave enough to confront the enemy, she could confront hers.
As she finished dressing, she found herself wishing that he could see her in the dress she had bought yesterday.
Then she walked slowly down the stairs.
When she entered the boudoir, her stepmother was sitting at the writing table.
“Good morning to you, Tania,” she began in an unexpectedly pleasant tone. “I wished to speak to you, but as you came in so late, you were not available until now.”
“I was rather late,” admitted Tania.
“I do hope you enjoyed your party,” her stepmother added amicably.
Tania was surprised but answered politely,
“It was a most enjoyable evening and Mr. and Mrs. Bracebridge were extremely kind to me.”
“And now I am going to be even kinder to you. Sit down, Tania, and listen to what I have to say to you.”
Tania sat down obediently on a chair by the desk.
When she took a good look at her stepmother, she had to admit that she was good-looking, in fact very good looking for her age, and she could understand in a way why her father had married her.
“I have been thinking about your position now you have come home and I have decided that, as you are older than most of the girls who have just left school, it would be wise for you to be married as soon as possible.”
“Married!” ejaculated Tania. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I say and I have in fact just found the ideal husband for you.”
For a moment Tania was speechless.
She could not believe what she was hearing.
“The gentleman you met here yesterday was Lord Watford, who is very anxious to marry and have an heir. His first wife died giving birth to a stillborn child. He is lonely and he is also very rich.”
She looked at Tania sternly as she carried on,
“As soon as he saw you, he decided that you were exactly the wife he had been looking for and he is coming here today to tell you so.”
Tania was listening wide-eyed.
She had difficulty in finding the right words to say, but finally she exploded,
“You must be mad! I will not marry a man I have barely met and whom I do not love. It so happens that for the moment I don’t wish to marry anyone.”
As she spoke, she told herself that what she felt for Rupert and he felt for her must stay a secret between them. Her love for Rupert was very precious to her and certainly could never be discussed or spoilt by her stepmother.
“I think you are forgetting one very simple point,” Lady Amesly countered frostily.
“What is that?”
“As you were told yesterday by the Solicitors and which was confirmed to me this morning by Mr. Martin, I am your Guardian until you reach the age of twenty-one or are married. Therefore you have to obey me.”
“Not about something as important as marrying a man I do not love and who cannot possibly love me.”
Lady Amesly laughed unpleasantly.
“Really you cannot be so naïve as not to realise you are very pretty and have every qualification that someone like Lord Watford requires.”
She paused and as Tania was incapable of speaking, she went on,
“You come from an aristocratic family, you have your own money and he finds you attractive. You are truly a most fortunate girl in being offered marriage by such a charming and distinguished gentleman.”
“But I refuse! I totally refuse to marry anyone I do not love,” Tania persisted.
Her stepmother’s eyes narrowed.
“As I have already pointed out, you have to do as I tell you. I will see that you are married to Roger Watford if I have to drag you to the altar. You stupid, idiotic girl! You should be down on your knees thanking God that you have the chance of marrying someone of distinction who will give you a good position in Society.”
“He is too old! He is old enough to be my father! Anyway even if he really was the most important man in the world, I could never marry him unless I loved him.”
“You will do as I tell you, Tania! Otherwise I will have you taken off to an asylum for women who, if they are not completely mad, are in no way capable of looking after themselves.”
“You cannot do that to me!” Tania yelled furiously.
“It is impossible for you to stop me, as I am your appointed Guardian, from doing anything I think is right and proper for you.”
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Tania gave a strangled cry.
Then, as if she could not bear to hear any more, she jumped up from the chair and ran out of the room.
As she slammed the door behind her, she heard her stepmother laughing.
She realised that it was the sound of a woman who was quite certain her plans could not be refused or altered.
‘How can she do this to me? How is it possible?’ Tania asked herself feverishly.
She ran up to the nursery, collected Rupert’s letter, her hat and her handbag, then, as an afterthought, the money Mr. Martin had given her and ran down the stairs again.
As she neared the hall, she hesitated just in case her stepmother was there, convinced that if she was she would doubtless prevent her leaving the house.
To her relief there was only one of the footmen and without any question, he opened the door for her.
She stepped into Park Lane.
Then to her relief a Hackney carriage was coming slowly down the road and, when she waved, it stopped.
She jumped in and gave the driver the address of the Bracebridge’s house in Belgrave Square.
And, as he whipped up his horse, she glanced back at the house in case her stepmother was running after her.
To her relief the door was closed and she guessed that it had not yet occurred to Lady Amesly that she might run away.
And now she could only hope frantically that the Bracebridges would help her.
She was desperately afraid they might not wish to be involved in what was purely a family row.
‘If only I could ask Rupert, he would know what to do,’ she agonised.
It flashed through her mind that perhaps, after all he had said, he would marry her before he left the country.
But she knew that because she loved him, she could not give him the extra strain of leaving a wife behind.
‘I love him. I adore him,’ she told herself over and over. ‘But he has enough worries at the moment, keeping himself and his men alive and I must not add to them.’
It did not take the Hackney carriage long to reach Belgrave Square.
She paid off the driver, thinking that if Selina was not at home she would wait until she returned.
As the Hackney carriage drove off, the door opened and the butler who had let her in the night before greeted her,
“Good morning, Miss Amesly.”
“Is Mrs. Bracebridge at home?” Tania asked him.
“She’s in the library, miss, and I am sure she’ll be right pleased to see you.”
Because he spoke so pleasantly, Tania felt some of the agitation inside her chest subside.
She managed to smile at him.
“I would be very grateful if she could see me for a moment, please.”
“I’m certain that she’d be delighted, miss,”
He did not ask her to wait, but led the way down a passage and opened a door.
“Miss Tania Amesly, madam,” he announced.
Selina was at the writing desk near the window and she turned round in some surprise and then smiled as Tania came into the room.
“I was not expecting you so soon, Tania.”
Then, as Tania walked towards her, she exclaimed,
“What has happened? Something has upset you!”
“Oh, please, please, Mrs. Bracebridge, help me. I am desperate and I have run away.”
“Run away from what, Tania?”
As she saw how agitated Tania was, she suggested,
“Sit down on the sofa, my dear, take off your hat and then tell me what has frightened you.”
“That is just the right word. I am frightened, very frightened and did not know what to do, so I came round to you as quickly as I could.”
“That’s very sensible of you, Tania. Now what can it be? You seemed so happy last night.”
“I was happy, very happy, except, as I expect you know by now, war has been declared.”
“Yes, of course I know. Sir Sidney Herbert told us after everyone had left. I suppose that nice Rupert More is already moving his troops out of Barracks.”
“He is going – to the battlefield,” Tania murmured.
There was a noticeable break in her voice she could not prevent and Selina enquired,
“Is that what is upsetting you, Tania?”
“No. It’s my stepmother.”
“What has she done now?”
“She has told me I have to marry a man I met only yesterday. He is called Lord Watford and he apparently desires a young wife.”
“Lord Watford! But, of course, you cannot marry him! He has a very bad reputation with women. He was exceedingly unkind to his young wife, which I am certain contributed to her death.”
“But Stepmama is determined I am to marry him. He saw me yesterday and he apparently wants someone young who will give him a son.”
“I have never heard of such disgraceful behaviour. You cannot marry a man of that age who you don’t love.”
She hesitated for a moment.
“I don’t want to embarrass you, Tania, but I thought last night that perhaps you had fallen in love with Rupert More. He was obviously, I thought, in love with you. Am I right or am I wrong? You must forgive me for asking.”
“You are right, you are right,” cried Tania. “I love Rupert and he loves me, but he did say that, because he was going away, he would not tie me down. Therefore I just have to pray that he will come back from the war. Then if God is kind – we can be together forever.”
Selina smiled with delight.
“That is exactly what I hoped would happen and of, course, my dear child, you must tell your stepmother that you cannot possibly marry anyone else while Rupert is away.”
“But you don’t understand. My Stepmama is so determined to be rid of me and according to Papa’s will she is my Guardian until I am either twenty-one or married – ”
She paused for breath before she went on,
“I am sure it is her idea – that Lord Watford should make me his wife and she said if I do not obey her, she will – have me put into an asylum for women – who are m-mad.”
The last words came jerkily from between her lips.
Selina stared at her in sheer astonishment.
“How could anyone say that to you?”
“My stepmother hates me so much – she always has – and unless you save me she will do exactly what I have just told you.”
Now the tears began to run down Tania’s cheeks. Selina took her handkerchief and wiped them away.
“Don’t cry, dearest child. Charles and I will look after you.”
“But Stepmama will come and take me away. She is so determined to have what she wants and, because she wishes to be rid of me, she will somehow succeed in doing what she said. Oh, why, oh why did Papa marry her?”
“It is something I have often asked myself – and so have many others. Your mother was so charming and so sweet. Charles and I loved her as she loved us.”
Her voice sharpened as Selina carried on,
“But you are not to worry! I promise you we will not allow your stepmother or a whole Regiment of soldiers to make you marry a man you do not love. As for putting you into an asylum, that is where Isobel Amesly should be herself!
“I must talk to Charles. In the meantime sit quietly here and I will get you something to drink.”
She rose as she spoke and then stopped.
“Does your stepmother know where you are?”
“No! She has no idea,” answered Tania. “I ran out of the house without her knowing to come to you and there was only one footman in the hall. I did not take a Hackney carriage until I was outside in the road.”
“Well, that is one point in our favour – ”
Selina walked towards the door.
“Now sit down like a good girl. Don’t worry so, Charles and I will save you however difficult it may seem.”
Selina’s reassuring tone told Tania even more than words that she meant what she said.
&
nbsp; She closed her eyes tightly and said a little prayer of thankfulness. She had met the Bracebridges by chance on the ferry and yet they had shown her such kindness.
‘I am so lucky to have found them,’ she reflected.
She longed to be in touch with Rupert, but knew it would be wrong to do so – whatever happened, he must not go off to war being worried about her.
Selina was not away very long and she came back with her husband.
Charles bent down and kissed Tania.
“Selina has told me of the trouble you are in,” he said, “and you must not worry. We will look after you and make sure that evil woman does not get hold of you again.”
“Are you really sure you can?” Tania asked him.
“Absolutely sure, Tania, and we have both already thought of something you can do to take you a long way away from the clutches of stepmother. And nearer in fact to Rupert More – who I understand now means a great deal to you.”
Tania was listening to him intently, but Charles at once realised that she did not understand.
“What my wife has suggested to me,” he said, “and I think it is an excellent idea, is that you hide with Florence Nightingale or rather spend as much time with her as you possibly can. Sidney Herbert told us last night he intends to persuade the Government that she should go out to the war and look afterour soldiers and you could go with her.”
“You mean she is going as a nurse?” Tania asked in astonishment.
“If Sidney has his way and I am sure he will, she will take very many nurses with her and for the first time in history they will look after the wounded as they should be looked after. She will save them not only from the enemy but from the inefficiency of our doctors who have not had the same training as she has.”
Tania’s eyes lit up.
“I would just love to go with Miss Nightingale. It is the most wonderful idea I have ever heard. But do you think she will take me?”
“I think my wife and I will be able to persuade her to do so,” Charles answered her. “And what is more, as we are good friends, if she is sent to the war area, as I am sure she will be, we will certainly go with her. So you will be under our care as well as hers.”
“How can you be so kind?” Tania mumbled as once again the tears ran down her cheeks.
She could hardly believe after being so frightened by her stepmother’s threats that she would now be saved and befriended by these two marvellous people.
The Healing Hand Page 10