Which didn’t help, because AJ couldn’t stop thinking about her, either.
He strode across his foyer and grabbed the newest pile of mail off the hall table. He’d arranged for his clipping service to send him everything related to the palace, not because he felt personally involved, but so he’d at least know what was going on if someone asked.
He flipped through a thick file of fresh clippings, forcing himself not to linger on any pictures. There was one in particular they seemed to latch on to, a half profile shot that perfectly captured the adorable tilt of her nose and the sparkle in her golden eyes.
He knew what they’d cut out of the photo—him. She’d been gazing at him with that bright look on her face. Now he was the villain of the piece, the one who had let her down to pursue his big-deal career and go back to chasing designer miniskirts in L.A.
They were half-right, really.
But his dropping out of the picture had only seemed to intensify their interest in Lani and her predicament: the lovely princess, so recently widowed and now jilted by her presumed fiancé. Her pregnancy had hit the media like a neutron bomb. Poor lonely Lani, left to raise a child with no one to care for her.
Of course he knew better. She had a staff of nearly fifty and a mother-in-law who rarely gave her a moment’s peace.
One story told of the hordes of men who’d submitted details and photos in the hope that she’d choose one of them to be her husband. He was pretty confident the applications were being shredded on arrival at the palace, but he couldn’t help feeling a sting of envy.
Which was ridiculous, because eventually Lani would marry someone else.
He turned and strode back into the kitchen. His home used to seem so calm and uncluttered. Lately it just looked bleak. All the black and white furnishings looked garish and pretentious after the soft natural hues and hand-carved woods of the palace.
At least he was busy. Editing sessions on Hellcat stretched late into the night and he was already deep in pre-production on the next Dragon Chaser movie.
That meant he wouldn’t have time to read all the blogs and websites his Google Alerts were picking up about Lani’s upcoming coronation. Already he knew exactly what kind of dress she’d be wearing, and the ancient hammered-gold jewelry she’d put on and how her palms would be painted with berry juice and her skin brushed with golden pollen. He didn’t know this because he’d grown up in the palace. He’d learned it all on E! along with everyone else.
An enterprising retailer in Beverly Hills had come out with a line of Rahiian dresses, woven from the rich silk of the island but cut to reveal a bit more gym-toned leg than the originals.
Twice he’d seen Lani paraded before the cameras with a tight smile on her lips. He could imagine his mom behind the scenes, urging her out there and telling her to put on her best face. But he could see past it. Her mouth might be forced into a cheerful grin, but the light in her eyes had dimmed noticeably.
Or did he imagine that? Maybe he just wanted her to be pale and pining since he’d gone. He’d already told them he wouldn’t be there for the coronation. Let them sing Vanu’s praises and exclaim over how AJ would never have made a good king, with his Hollywood decadence and fickle attitudes.
He didn’t want to see Lani, either. Not so soon. He couldn’t guarantee his immunity to her vibrant smile. Just a whiff of her scent might send him into a tailspin. The taste of her was still too fresh on his lips, the pain of leaving her too raw in his heart.
It was for the best though. He wasn’t Vanu and sure as heck didn’t want to play second fiddle to his brother’s memory for the rest of his life. Much better to move on and strike out for new frontiers.
Speaking of which, an old flame of his had left a message on his machine. A Danish beauty who’d had a small part in one of his early movies was back in town for a couple of weeks and wanted to get together. Probably just what he needed to pry his mind off Lani.
He reached for the phone and listened to the bubbly message again. Why not take her to the premiere of the new Spielberg movie that Friday? She was good company. Loved to dance, too. They could have some dinner, then go out to that new club everyone kept raving about.
But something kept his fingers from dialing her number.
He found himself wandering back into the kitchen, where the stack of clippings lay sprawled on the stone counter, that now-famous picture on the top. Lani’s wide eyes, sparkling with what anyone might mistake for happiness, seemed to look right at him, just as they had when the picture was taken.
AJ drew in a deep breath. He’d get over her. Eventually. But until then it wasn’t really fair to take out another girl. He’d only be looking at her and wishing he was with Lani.
Better to wait until time took the edge off a bit. Until he started to forget the soft touch of her fingers on his skin, and the sweet song of her laugh.
Of course, it would help if he could stop thinking about her for five solid minutes.
Lani lay awake in her bedroom, staring at the dark ceiling. Counting imaginary sheep didn’t help. Counting live lizards didn’t help, either. Even the baby seemed restless and unsettled. It was hard to sleep when something was eating at you.
She’d promised herself that she’d never tell anyone the truth about Vanu. That she’d keep up the pretense of a happy marriage and allow her mother-in-law to remember her eldest son as a paragon of virtue.
But something AJ had said made her think it was her silence on the subject that had driven him away. That he thought of her as Vanu’s wife, and that he couldn’t step into his brother’s life and walk in his footsteps.
She hadn’t really made the connection at the time, but lately the thought pestered her night and day: Would he feel differently if he knew that she hated Vanu and was secretly glad he was gone?
Such a blunt declaration would definitely bare the darkness in her soul, even if Vanu had put it there. AJ might despise her for her disloyalty, and if Priia ever found out—which she might, since AJ was not one to mince words—she’d be shocked and deeply hurt, as much by Lani’s betrayal of Vanu as by the idea that her son was not the sweet boy she chose to remember.
Then there was the baby. Vanu’s child. If she told people that Vanu was harsh and cold and unloving, would her child learn this about his or her own father?
Still…if she never told anyone, these thoughts might torment her and keep her awake at night for the rest of her life.
AJ had been gone for nearly a month—twenty-three days, to be precise—and she still ached for him. She hadn’t seen or heard anything of him in all that time, except the secondhand report that he would not be coming to the coronation. But she could remember the feel of his body against hers as if he’d just left the room. Alone at night, she imagined his hot breath on her skin and heard his voice soft in her ear.
If she phoned him, she really could hear his voice in her ear. She could air her thoughts and get the truth about Vanu off her chest. Yes, she’d have to live with the consequences of that decision, but could that be any worse that sitting in this prickly nest of lies and half truths?
She sat up and eased her feet down onto the cool tile floor. Pressed her hand to her belly for a moment for strength, even though she wasn’t sure whether her sudden plan would be good or bad for her baby.
She crept across the dark room and found her phone where it lay on top of the dresser. She rarely used it, since she usually went to see her friends and her mom in person for a chat, like most people in Rahiri.
But L.A. was too far away for a drop-in visit.
She picked up the phone with a steady hand. It was after 2:00 a.m., so past midnight in L.A. Not a great time for a call.
Her heart pumped faster. She should really put the phone down and go back to bed.
Instead she opened the top drawer and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She didn’t have AJ’s address and phone number in L.A.—why would she?—but she’d found them in the old leather-bound address book Priia k
ept on her study desk. She wasn’t sure at the time why she wanted them, just that she did. She’d already mapped AJ’s address on the computer and peeped at the “bird’s-eye view” of his sleek apartment building, like a spy on a covert mission.
She murmured his phone number like a mantra, knowing that at any time she could invoke him—live and in person—with a few pressed buttons. She knew from watching him that AJ answered nearly every call he got, which was a lot, so she was fairly sure he’d pick up at any time of the day or night.
And after midnight he’d be home alone.
At least she hoped he would. Fear flashed through her. What if he’d forgotten her already and was lost in the arms of a lascivious starlet?
She inhaled a deep breath and pressed the cool phone to her mouth for a moment. Didn’t matter. She wasn’t calling to beg him to come back, or tell him she loved him and couldn’t live without him. Her only goal was to tell him the truth about Vanu, just because it felt right.
And to hear his voice one last time.
Her trembling fingertips had trouble hitting the right buttons on the tiny phone and she misdialed twice before she finally got the number right.
It rang. Why had she decided to call so late at night? It was rude. He’d probably be annoyed. Her thumb hovered over the disconnect button while her breath caught in her lungs.
Then he answered. “Hello.” The sound of his voice sent a shock wave of emotion through her. She didn’t know what to say.
“Hello, AJ.”
“Lani.” He sounded shocked. He could probably tell from the number that the call was from Rahiri, but he obviously didn’t know it was her. They’d never talked on the phone before.
“Yes, it’s me.” Her head swam with such a tangle of thoughts that her mind went completely blank. “How are you?”
“Getting along. Keeping busy. How are you?”
Lani paced her bedroom. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Phony pleasantries exchanged like strangers. “I’m fine.” She wanted to say so much more, to shout it. To pour out her feelings and tell him how much she missed him.
“And the baby?”
“Good. At least I think so. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, but I’ve been feeling pretty good.” Except for the nausea, but that probably was stress this time. “I’m sorry to call so late.”
“Is Mom okay?” His voice filled with concern. He must be wondering exactly why she would call in the middle of the night.
“Yes. She’s really busy with the coronation plans. She misses you, of course.” She then regretted saying that, like she was trying to prod him to guilt. She really should get to the point before she lost her nerve and kept the truth to herself forever. “I called to tell you something.”
“Oh?” He sounded reserved. What did he think she would say? That she loved him and wanted him to come back? Her face heated. If only her thoughts would stop running away with her.
“It’s that…” she hesitated. How did you tell someone that you hated their brother? “Vanu and me… We didn’t…we weren’t…” Words hovered just out of reach. AJ was totally silent at the other end. “I didn’t love him.”
AJ said nothing. She could imagine him frowning. Thinking.
“I didn’t like him.” Emboldened by his silence, she went on. “He was cold to me, cruel, even.” She swallowed, and walked back across the dark bedroom. “I hated him.”
The harsh words fell from her lips easily, then hung in the air like a judgment. Cold dread trickled through her. She couldn’t take the truth back now.
“What did you say?” AJ’s voice was low, almost a whisper.
Lani froze. Was he horrified by her blunt confession? Disgusted by her lack of compassion for his dead brother? “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. I know he’s your brother and even if he wasn’t I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead. Now you know what I’m really like. See? I’m not nice at all like you thought and I have evil thoughts inside my head and—”
“I hated him, too.” AJ’s words rang bold and clear through the phone.
“What?” She spun around, startled.
“I hated him. Hated him. What did he do to you?” Sudden concern tightened his voice. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not physically, at least not that much. But he was cruel. He’d taunt me and belittle me, then be all smiles if there was anyone around.”
“I don’t believe it.” AJ sounded incredulous.
Her shoulders stiffened. “It’s true.”
He laughed. “I don’t mean that I don’t believe you. I believe you completely, because that’s exactly what he used to do to me.”
“You never said anything.”
“Nor did you.”
“I didn’t want to offend you.”
“Same here.” He let out a loud guffaw. “I can’t believe we were dancing carefully around Vanu’s memory when neither of us could stand him.”
“Your mom has no idea he was like that.” Lani drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t want her to find out, either.”
“I used to tell her, back when I was a kid, and she never believed me, anyway. He was always her sweet little princeling. He really knew how to turn it on when he wanted to.”
“I know. It was like living with two completely different people. The public Vanu and the private one.” Relief rolled through Lani, warm and soothing. “I tried to make him happy, but after a while I realized it was hurting me that made him happy.” She stiffened when she remembered their last encounter, the one that had left her pregnant. Why shouldn’t AJ know about that, too? She didn’t want him to think she’d lain willingly in Vanu’s arms after all he’d done to her over the years.
“I didn’t want to conceive a child with him.” She hesitated for a moment, wondering how he’d take what she was about to say. “He forced himself on me, said he was my husband and could do whatever he wanted. That it was his right.”
She knew it wasn’t about love, or even pleasure, for Vanu. It was about inflicting pain, abusing his power.
“He raped you.” AJ’s voice was hoarse. “If he was still alive I’d kill him. He was a sociopath. I didn’t realize that until long after I’d gone, of course, and had time to get some distance. He’s given me great inspiration for my movie villains over the years. I always thought it was lucky he didn’t have any real interest in ruling the country, or he might have turned into a dictator.”
“I think he was too lazy for that.” Lani laughed, a weird, high-pitched sound, more a release of tension than anything else. “And he really didn’t like people. I suspect he found it a lot of work pretending to be normal.”
“So why did you cry when you learned he was dead?”
“Relief. I was dreading the awful possibility that he’d come back and make me miserable again. All those mornings of waking up to his angry face and hearing him criticize everything I did.”
AJ let out a long sigh. “How come you didn’t tell anyone Vanu was a sadistic bastard? Were you going to stay married to him forever if he hadn’t died?”
Lani blew out. “I was trying to be brave. I didn’t want to hurt your mom and let down the royal family by causing a scandal. My mom always made a big deal about how a woman should never air her dirty laundry. She never spoke about her own marriage and divorce.” She shoved a hand through her hair. “I knew I was taking on a big responsibility when I married the future king. I guess I figured I’d have to live with my mistake.”
There was a silence. “Just like you would have lived with your duty to marry me, if I hadn’t left.”
Lani didn’t know what to say. It was true. As she’d gotten to know AJ, she’d realized the duty would have been a pleasure. She didn’t want to push her luck by saying that, though. She’d called to tell him how she felt about Vanu, not to put pressure on him to do anything about it.
“Why did you decide to tell me now?” AJ’s voice had an odd sound to it.
Lani swallowed. “I don’t know exactly. I
just wanted to tell you the truth.”
“The truth. That’s been an elusive little… Don’t go anywhere.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t leave the palace.”
“Why not?” She glanced over her shoulder. She felt under siege all the time lately, with press everywhere and people taking photos of her whenever she even looked out the window.
“So I know where to find you.” His voice had a ring of command to it.
Why did he want to find her? Did he plan to come and scold her for keeping the truth hidden all this time? She’d only been trying to protect the family name.
The truth had been her enemy since she’d come to this palace. She’d danced around it, skirted it and fluffed over it so many times since she’d had the misfortune to marry Vanu. And there was one powerful truth she still kept locked tight in her heart.
She’d never told AJ that she loved him.
“Joe, you still got that jet out at Burbank?” AJ marched across the room, picking up items of clothing and tossing them into his bag.
“Do you know what time it is?” His friend’s gruff voice assaulted him down the phone. He and Joe had shared a house when AJ was in film school—two kids with too much money and no sense of direction. They’d seen each other through more than a few scrapes since. Joe was now a successful film agent with a passion for cars and planes.
“Late, yeah. I can wait until dawn to leave, though.” Every moment away from Lani was agonizing right now, but no need to torment other people with his desperation.
“Dawn? What the heck are you talking about? Where do you need to go in such a rush?”
“Home. Rahiri.”
“I thought you’d decided once and for all that L.A. was your home.” Joe’s voice softened a bit.
“It’s complicated. Anyway, I need to get to Rahiri as soon as humanly possible.”
He heard a long sigh. “Let me guess, that gorgeous almost-wife of yours is involved somehow.”
The Prince’s Pregnant Bride Page 12