“The important thing is that you found him,” Sawyer insisted. “Listen, you’ve had a long night. Why don’t you head to bed?”
Chase shook his head. “I’ll never be able to sleep.”
“You should still try. Things will look better in the morning. I guarantee it.”
It wasn’t the truth. He couldn’t make any such promises. But he hated to see his brother agonizing over what had happened. Chase still hesitated.
“I’ve decided, Sawyer. I’m going to have the DNA test done. I—I have to know. I can’t live like this, uncertain about whether I’ll end up like Dad or not.”
Sawyer understood, but at the same time, his stomach pinched at the thought. “What will you do...you know, if you have the mutated genes?”
“I don’t know,” Chase admitted. “But knowing has got to be better than always wondering about it.”
Sawyer wasn’t so sure he agreed, but it was a decision they each had to make on their own.
“I’ll go with you,” he decided. “Not to have the test, but just to be there. For moral support.”
Some of the tension in Chase’s shoulders eased. “Really? I’d appreciate that.”
“Sure. We’re family, Chase. No matter what happens.”
Chase nodded. “Family,” he agreed. “No matter what.”
Sawyer waited for Chase to leave the kitchen before he let the tears flow.
* * *
“HE’S ON THE way right now,” Rory promised for the third time and ignored Paige’s exasperated look by pretending to fiddle with ribbon wrapped around her bridesmaid’s bouquet.
Connor and Harper’s wedding was starting in ten minutes, and there was no sign of Sawyer. Rory had tried his phone so many times she’d lost count, but it went straight to voice mail with each and every call. Paige was nearly apoplectic.
“But why isn’t he picking up?” she demanded. “He should have been here an hour ago!”
Rory didn’t have any answers, and her own concern was growing with each passing minute. She’d tried the phone at the house, but that call had gone to an answering machine.
“I can drive over to his parents’,” Gavin suggested, placing his back toward Paige so that Rory could focus on him. “I can see what’s going on.”
Rory recognized her own concern reflected in Gavin’s eyes.
“The wedding starts in ten minutes. It won’t make any difference.”
Paige must have heard her because she caught a glimpse of the other woman throwing her arms up in the air. Tessa and Weston moved in to do damage control.
Gavin locked eyes with her, and neither of them said anything. Seconds later, Connor stepped up. Rory had to admit that he was devastatingly handsome in his suit and black tie. He’d been growing his hair out for a few weeks, so that now it curled around his ears. He looked rather like a dashing pirate. Harper was going to swoon when she saw him.
“Mind if I have a word with my sister?”
Gavin nodded. “I’m just going to wait out front of the inn, to see when he pulls up.”
Rory rubbed her palms over her bare arms. The weather was perfect for Connor and Harper’s outdoor wedding, but she couldn’t help feeling chilled in her sleeveless bridesmaid dress. Erin was inside with Molly and Harper, adding finishing touches to the bride’s hair and veil. Harper had known thirty minutes ago that Sawyer hadn’t showed up yet, but none of them had told her he still wasn’t here.
Rory nibbled on her lip, barely paying attention to her brother until he raised his hand and tapped her forehead.
“There. Right there.”
She stopped fidgeting and stared at him.
“What?”
“That worry mark right there needs to go.”
She blinked. “Aren’t you worried? This is your wedding, after all. And Sawyer’s just bailed on you.”
Much in the same way he bailed on me two years ago.
“He hasn’t bailed,” Connor stated with such confidence that her jaw dropped.
“You don’t think so?”
Connor shook his head.
Her brother’s lack of concern was surprising. Part of her anxiety had been because she knew Connor had extended a hand of friendship to Sawyer, by asking him to be part of the wedding, and now, with his would-be groomsman nowhere in sight, he still kept his faith in Sawyer.
“Wh-why do you say that?”
“Because he loves you. And he’ll be here. Not for me. Not for Harper. But for you.”
Rory didn’t know what to say. Her brother’s words filled her up and gave her a hope she didn’t know she’d been lacking.
“Are you sure?” she murmured.
“Without a doubt. I was angry at him for hurting you, but the way I’ve seen him with you since he came back...he’s here for you, Rory.”
“But, everything with his dad, and the Alzheimer’s...” She trailed off, and Connor didn’t say anything, not at first.
“I won’t say I’m not worried about the two of you. If things turn out for the worst, you and Sawyer would be in for a tough road.”
Rory drew a breath. “I know, but... I love him. No matter what. I love him.”
Connor wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly against him. “I know. And I think you’d be far happier with him, no matter what happens, than you would be without him.”
She returned his embrace by circling her arms around his waist. “I need him, Connor. No matter what we’re facing, I need him in my life.”
Connor pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “I know, love. I know.”
She surrendered then, just letting herself be held and feeling a swell of joy in knowing what her brother was gaining on this day. He would have Harper now. Some of Rory’s responsibility for him, as his sister, had just transferred to her. But she was glad. Harper would love him to her dying breath. Rory had nothing to worry about on that score.
She pulled back a little to look at his face. “I’m happy for you, you know. You deserve Harper, the restaurant, all of it. You’ve worked so hard. I’m just...grateful how things turned out.”
“Me, too.”
They looked at each other for a moment longer, sharing things that only siblings can through words that didn’t need to be spoken.
Seconds later, Gavin approached them.
“Sawyer just pulled up.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SAWYER STRAIGHTENED HIS tie as Gavin met him at the front door of the inn.
“Cutting it a little close, aren’t we, bro?”
Sawyer didn’t reply. Gavin might have been his best friend, but he didn’t think he could explain things, even to him. Fortunately, Gavin didn’t press the issue.
Rory was waiting for him in the bed-and-breakfast’s foyer. He came to a halt at the sight of her. She wore a knee-length turquoise dress that complemented her dark hair and fair skin. Her hair was pulled up with a braid winding its way around the crown of her head and ending in a coiled bun at the nape of her neck. A white daisy was tucked behind her ear. She was breathtakingly beautiful. So much so that he physically ached at the sight of her. Was she truly so lovely today? Or was it just his mind torturing him after the decision he’d come to in the wee hours of the morning?
Of course, she would appear even more beautiful on the day he’d decided to give her up.
Despite this, he stepped forward to brush a strand of loose hair behind the flower. She shivered beneath his touch, and he felt a line of heat wind its way up his palm.
“You’re going to draw attention away from the bride,” he murmured.
She smiled and ducked her head. “I’m glad you made it,” she whispered and then lifted her eyes to catch his own. She seemed happy. His heart twisted as he realized he’d be takin
g that joy away from her soon. But he’d made his decision. This was what he had to do, for her sake more than his own. If he loved her, he had to let her go.
“It’s about time you showed up!”
He watched Rory wince before he raised his head and focused his attention on Harper’s older sister.
“The wedding starts in five minutes,” Paige snapped. “So nice of you to make it on time.”
He nearly laughed in the woman’s face. His measurement of time had completely changed in the span of the last few weeks, and particularly over the last few hours after he’d witnessed how easily it could be distorted. His father had begun to jump back and forth, confusing the years, losing track of days and events. If that was Sawyer’s future then he was going to start viewing time very differently.
“Well, you wouldn’t have started without me, I’m sure,” he teased, and he was pretty sure he might have seen steam coming out of Paige’s ears. He ignored her and turned to Connor instead, as the groom approached.
“Everything okay?” Connor asked, directing the question at Sawyer. He expected Rory’s brother to be irritated, if not outright irate, but he didn’t seem in the least flustered by his late arrival.
“Everything’s fine,” he lied. “I’m sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to stress you guys out.” That much was the truth. But after the late night, he’d overslept. They all had.
Connor waved a hand. “I didn’t have any doubts you’d make it.”
And then Connor looked at Rory, something unspoken passing between them. Sawyer wasn’t sure what he’d just witnessed.
“Well, now that we’re all here,” Connor said, “does anyone have any objection to getting this wedding started?”
* * *
IT WAS A perfect ceremony, in Rory’s opinion. Though everyone else turned to look at Harper when the “Wedding March” sounded, Rory kept her eyes on her brother. And she knew the second Harper appeared because she saw it in Connor’s face. His entire expression suffused with joy, his countenance glowing. He suddenly had eyes only for his bride, and his face conveyed love and awe. It brought tears to Rory’s eyes, which she dabbed delicately with a tissue. Erin had warned her not to go smearing her makeup.
She shifted her attention to Sawyer and was surprised to find that instead of watching the bride, like everyone else, he was focused solely on her. She smiled at him, and he returned the gesture...but there was something sad in it. She was reminded all over again of the weight he carried. But she was ready now. No matter what the future held, they would face it together.
She knew, even without Connor telling her, that Sawyer loved her. She’d always known it, deep in her soul. It had just taken her a while to trust again. Perhaps that’s why she’d never really let go. She had known, somehow, that he’d come back for her. And he had.
Alzheimer’s couldn’t keep them apart. Should it come for him, they would face it together. She would hold on to him as long as she could, fight for him with every breath. If the disease wanted him, it wouldn’t claim him without a long and fierce battle from her. She longed to tell him that, but she couldn’t, not right now. Harper was stepping up to the front, and Rory’s gaze shifted as Connor stretched out his hand for her.
It felt as if the ceremony went quickly. Connor and Harper made their vows with Molly standing between them, and Harper spoke special vows just to the girl, claiming her as a daughter and making a promise to be the best mother she could. Molly beamed, and a part of Rory felt a tiny sting of loss. She would no longer be the first woman Molly looked to in the future. Harper would fill that role. It was as it should be, and Rory was glad for the kind of mother Harper would be. But she couldn’t help feeling a strange little stab of grief just the same. It was the end of one thing and the beginning of something better. Change wasn’t always bad, it was just different.
She released a breath as she felt Erin’s hand reach for hers, squeezing lightly. Her friend knew how she felt. And she was grateful. She was surrounded by love, with everyone she cared for right here, in this moment while her brother committed his life to his soul mate.
This was the happiest she’d been in a long time.
* * *
SAWYER WAS HAPPY for his friends, but he couldn’t help feeling a slight touch of bitterness. Everything about the wedding and the hours that followed had been perfect. The ceremony was beautiful. Connor and Harper obviously made a wonderful couple. Their love and commitment was evident in every word they spoke, every gesture they made and every look they shared.
At the reception, their affection was even more apparent. In fact, Sawyer felt surrounded by romance—nearly suffocated by it. Paige and her husband had barely left the dance floor. Harper and Connor were kissing every five minutes as the wedding guests dinged their forks against their champagne glasses. Gavin and Erin were seated next to each other, Gavin’s arm draped tightly over Erin’s shoulder. Not that Sawyer begrudged his friend. Gavin would be shipping back out in a few more days—he deserved every minute he could get with Erin during his downtime.
The rest of the guests were all paired off, dancing or drinking, laughing and loving. A wedding was not the place to be when your heart was breaking. But that’s exactly where he’d found himself.
He stood apart, leaning against the wood-and-iron railings, watching the party and occasionally glancing out over the bay. Rory was on the dance floor, leading both Molly and Kitt in an awkward version of the “Macarena.” Kitt couldn’t quite master the choreography, and Rory and Molly had to keep starting over with him.
He could only look at Rory for a few seconds at a time. It hurt too much otherwise. He wished he could go back by a month and never have returned to Findlay Roads. It would have been so much easier on both of them if he’d stayed away. He never would have tried to rekindle things if he’d known then what he knew now. It would have been far more merciful to let her go on thinking the worst of him, that he’d ditched her for fame and fortune.
He couldn’t stay with her. He couldn’t ask her to marry him. He couldn’t condemn her to the uncertainty of the future. His mother’s tears from the night before had haunted him through the midnight hour and into the light of day. He couldn’t shake them. His father hadn’t remembered anything this morning, but he’d been chastened when he’d heard what had happened. His dad’s embarrassment was made worse by his mother’s insistence that it was all right.
He had seen the grief she tried to keep hidden from his dad. He would not condemn Rory to that. He couldn’t bear to think of her hiding her sorrow for him should they end up in the same situation.
He didn’t doubt she loved him, which only made this so much harder than he could have anticipated. Either way, he seemed likely to wound her. His options were to hurt her now, before too much damage was done, or later, after their lives became interwoven even more.
Better to cut things off while she still had a chance of recovering and moving on. She would find someone else, eventually. Maybe this time, it would be different. One day she would understand that he’d broken things off with her not because something better waited for him, but because there were better things out there for her. Surely that would bring some consolation and healing to her heart.
And if he could do that for her then perhaps he could find some measure of peace for himself, as well. To do right by Rory was the best legacy he could leave. She was the one. She’d always been the one. She’d been with him for so much of his life’s journey, had cheered him on, had stood by him. The only way he could think to return the selfless gift of her love and friendship was to let her go.
He knew there was the possibility he’d never develop Alzheimer’s. He could even have the test to be certain one way or the other, but he’d found he wasn’t strong enough to do so. If he didn’t have the mutated genes, it would be a relief...but what if he did? Then he’d live his entire life jus
t waiting for symptoms to develop. He’d wake up every morning fearing that was the day he’d begin to lose himself, his memories, his mental cognition. He couldn’t live like that, with the cloud of inevitability hanging over his head. At least, this way, he still had the hope that the disease would pass him by.
But he couldn’t ask Rory to live like that. He wouldn’t. Especially after the way he’d left her two years ago, placing his needs before hers. He wanted her to have the opportunity to escape a tenuous future and find a life that wasn’t overshadowed by the threat of sickness and death.
And yet, letting her go hurt. It hurt so much more than learning his dad had Alzheimer’s. It was far more painful than facing a future where he might have the disease. The worst thing he had to give up in this was Rory. But he loved her more than his own need. This time, he would do the right thing.
He felt tears rising and blinked rapidly to stop them. He was facing the water, his elbows resting on the rail, when her arms slipped around him from behind. He knew it was her, by touch alone. How many times had she embraced him just like that? More than he could count, and yet he held each memory precious because it was all he’d ever have of her now.
He shifted, turning so that she could find her way into his arms.
“You okay?” she asked.
There was no easy answer to that question. So he didn’t give her one, but rather tightened his arms around her, drawing her close to him and pressing a fierce kiss against her temple. He could allow himself that much, couldn’t he? Or perhaps he was being selfish once more.
“Why don’t we take a walk?” he suggested, whispering into her ear.
She nodded, but he couldn’t see her face. Did she suspect what was coming? If she did, he wasn’t sure she’d have gone with him so willingly. He took her hand, and they made their way around the dance area and toward the steps leading down to the boardwalk fronting the restaurant. From there, they headed for the promenade. The dusk of the evening was waning into twilight, and the iron lamps illuminated the wooden walk before them. The breeze was coming off the bay, cool and strong, but it did little to chill the heat of disappointment churning in his gut.
A Song for Rory Page 20