“Yes. Well, unless you want to sit on my lap.” Cassie joked.
Anabelle laughed and said, “No, I mean, for Armin and Tanner. Do they have a preference for where they like to sit?”
“No, not usually. But, in won’t matter since they won’t be joining us on this flight.”
Confused, Anabelle said,” Oh… really? Why not?”
“They had to fly ahead to Portland last night. Some last minute promotional things came up. Sorry about that Anabelle…I thought you knew it was just going to be you and me on the flight.”
“No, I… that’s okay Cassie.”
Cassie smiled and said, “Try to get a little sleep if you can. The nights can get awfully long on the road.”
***
It was around eight o’clock when Anabelle and Cassie arrived at the venue. She had been shuttled around in limousines all day long and as much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to like it. She kept having to remind herself that it was temporary, of course, but even so it beat the hell out of having to drive her rust bucket.
She’d yet to see either of the brothers since arriving in Portland, but Cassie told her that they were planning on meeting up with her after the show. The pair exited the limousine and made her way to the entrance. As she walked, she noticed that the line for the show stretched around the corner.
“Damn. Is it always like this?” Anabelle asked.
“Oh yeah. Everywhere they go.” Cassie said.
As they neared the entrance, Cassie reached in her purse and produced two VIP badges, one of which she handed to Anabelle. Upon seeing them the doorman stepped aside and the women entered the nightclub.
The opening act was just about finished with their set and so Cassie and Anabelle settled in to take in the show. Ninety minutes later, Stung by Fate finished the show in front of another standing room only crowd. Anabelle wasn’t sure if she was actually beginning to enjoy their music or not but she was most certainly having a good time. Of course, private jets, limousines and five star hotels tend to put one in a good mood.
Her ears were still ringing when Cassie tapped Anabelle on the arm. Anabelle turned towards her and Cassie said, “I have to go take care of a few things. The guys are all backstage. You have an all access pass so whenever you’re ready, you can go on back.”
Anabelle nodded and said, “Thanks Cassie. Will I see you again tonight?”
“No, probably not. But I will see you again before we leave Portland.”
“Okay, that sounds good.” Anabelle replied.
Cassie got up from her seat and as she did she leaned in towards Anabelle’s right ear and said, “Anabelle, do you mind if I give you a hug?”
Admittedly, she was a little surprised by Cassie’s request. “Uhhm, sure…” Anabelle replied with a shrug.
Cassie put her arms around her and squeezed. It was tight – much tighter than seemed appropriate for the moment. She then released her, leaned back slightly and said, “I’m so happy for you.”
A puzzled look came over Anabelle’s face and she said, “Happy? What do you mean?”
“I’ve got to run Anabelle. I look forward to seeing you again very soon.” Cassie said.
“Okay, bye Cassie.”
Anabelle watched Cassie until she disappeared from sight.
Happy for me? What was that about?
Unable to decipher the meaning of it, Anabelle decided to shrug off the comment and get to the real business at hand. She gathered her things and with her all-access pass in hand, she headed backstage.
As she walked, a surge of adrenaline pulsed through her body. The past few days had been such a whirlwind that Anabelle nearly forgot about the curious kisses that the brothers had given her outside of the Peninsula Grand. In spite of Melissa’s assertion that they’d meant nothing at all, Anabelle held out hope and the energy of the emotion reinvigorated her.
The plain truth was that there just weren’t very many men in Anabelle’s past – or at least ones of any importance. Like most everything else in her life, love had been a struggle. In fact, she’d largely given up hope that even her most simple of romantic ideals would ever come to pass.
Right or wrong, Anabelle had long ago concluded that most men were only interested in a quick fling with her. They were largely a series of forgettable circumstances and absolutely zero of them had turned out to be anything meaningful.
Yet, somewhere deep inside, she remained hopeful. Although the flame of her soul had been dimmed by years of disappointment, her optimism for the fairytale ending still lingered.
She just couldn’t help it. It’s the way she was.
That aside, it was time to finally deal with the matter at hand – the interview. She was, for the first time since she’d gotten the assignment, genuinely excited about it. On top of that, they’d had yet another successful gig which would likely translate into great energy for the discussion.
***
As she meandered her way backstage through the crush of roadies, groupies and other hangers on, she could see that neither of the brothers were anywhere to be found. She flashed her pass to one of the security guards backstage, and asked, “Which dressing room are the Vossler’s in?”
The burly man examined her credentials and then grumbled, “Down the hall make a left and then it’s your first door on the right.”
“Thanks.” She said.
Following the security guard’s directions, Anabelle wound her way down the hall towards their dressing room. She arrived at the door but just prior to knocking, she thought she heard noises coming from inside. She leaned in, pressed her ear against the door and within seconds, heard the sounds of multiple women.
Sounds, not voices. From what she could tell, there was very little talking going on and what little she could decipher was of the grunting and groaning variety.
Anabelle felt sick to her stomach.
She couldn’t believe it. There was no denying what the sounds meant.
She felt frozen in place, alternating between states of rage, disappointment and shame. She was right about them all along. How could she have been so stupid? She couldn’t remember ever having felt so foolish in her entire life. She wished she could just disappear and never have to see them again. The last thing she wanted to do now was that fucking interview and for the first time since she started down this path, she could have cared less what the consequences might have been.
The frenzy inside continued to escalate until at last Anabelle could stand no more. She bit her lip, closed her eyes and prepared to go - she had to get out of there – now. But, just as she started to lean away from the door, a voice from behind asked, “What are we listening to?”
And then a second voice said, “Yeah, what are we missing?”
Anabelle immediately recognized the voices. She was horrified. Her skin felt like it would melt from her bones out of embarrassment. She swallowed hard and did her best not to make the situation any more awkward. She slowly turned and said, “I… I uhhmm… was just looking for you two. The security guard told me that this was your dressing room and…”
“… And so you naturally assumed that Armin and I were in there with a bunch of women?” Tanner interjected as he raised an eyebrow of suspicion.
“No, no… It’s not like that at all.” Anabelle pleaded.
Armin laughed and said, “It’s okay, Anabelle. We’re just messing with you. Our drummer, Keith, is in there with a couple of his Portland regulars. We grabbed another dressing room down the hall. Come on…”
“Uhhm, okay.” She said in a barely audible reply.
She trailed behind the brothers on the way to their dressing room and felt as if she were walking in mud. She wondered how long they had been standing there watching her make a fool of herself. Part of her wanted to be angry about it, to tell them that they shouldn’t have done that to her but she knew that she couldn’t.
After all, she’d hardly acted any better herself.
Besides, there
was nothing going on between any of them anyway. She couldn’t make sense of her emotions towards them. They’d never done anything except act like perfect gentleman in her presence and as far she could tell all she’d ever done is come off as crazy in front of them!
If it was possible to have a walk of shame without actually having sex, then this would have been it. Moments earlier she had never wanted to be more wrong about something in her life. And now that she had been, she’d almost wished she could have been right if for no other reason than to save herself from this moment.
All of a sudden, her wish was granted in a different way as an unexpected rush of fans materialized backstage. Security guards swarmed from every angle but the three of them were simply outnumbered.
Tanner turned back towards Anabelle and shouted, “Take my hand! Stay close behind!”
She quickly grasped onto him and did as she was told.
“I’ll stay out here!” Armin exclaimed. “Take her with you!”
Tanner nodded and within a few seconds they’d fought through the sudden crush into the dressing room they’d swapped out with Keith.
As they scrambled inside, Anabelle said, “Holy shit! That was insane.”
“Yeah…” Tanner replied as he tried to catch his breath.
“Does that happen a lot?” she asked.
“Yep. I guess that’s something you just kind of the get used to. I hope it didn’t startle you too much.” He replied.
“No, I’m fine.” She said.
“Good. We’ll chill here since Armin will be busy out there for a while.”
“Okay…”
He then said, “Hey, I’m still pretty thirsty from the set. Do you want something to drink?” Tanner turned his back towards her and walked over to a table filled with every kind of liquor, soda and juice imaginable. He waived his right arm over the spread and said, “We’ve got pretty much anything that you might want here.”
“No. I’m fine right now.” Anabelle replied.
“All right then.” He said as he prepared a whiskey and soda for himself.
Anabelle flung her bag over the back of a nearby chair and said, “Look… Tanner… I need to apologize to you.”
“Apologize… for what, Anabelle?”
“Well, it’s just that… Out there and everything… By the dressing room door. What either one of you do is really none of my business. I just wanted to say I was sorry…”
While she was speaking Tanner had taken a seat and propped his feet up on a table in the dressing room. He placed his glass down, interlaced his fingers behind his head and said, “What’s none of your business, exactly?”
“Nothing. Nevermind.” She replied quickly.
“Anabelle, it’s okay, you can tell me.” He said.
Anabelle desperately wanted to tell him. She didn’t know what was happening to her. All she knew was that when she stood outside of that door thinking those thoughts, those jealous thoughts, that she’d wanted nothing more than to break through it and rip those women them from limb.
How the hell was she supposed to tell him something like that?
She suddenly felt out of control – very much so. And she also had an overwhelming urge to run, to just get the hell out of there. She needed to clear her head and she needed to do it now. In a frazzled tone of voice she said, “Tanner… I… I have to go. I’m sorry, I just have to go.”
“Go?” He said as he sat up quickly. “Where are you going to go Anabelle?”
She grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder and said, “I don’t know. I’m very sorry…”
She moved towards the exit but just as she reached it, he was upon her with frightening quickness. The speed at which he moved startled her but the force with which he grabbed her was much more alarming. Before she realized what had happened, she was pinned against the door. She was unable to hardly budge as his thick palms wrapped firmly around her upper arms.
Initially disoriented, she quickly regained her wits and said loudly, “Let go of me Tanner!”
Tanner replied, “No! You aren’t going anywhere Anabelle…”
She looked him directly in the eyes and fired back, “Fuck you! Don’t tell me what to do. Let go of me I said!”
“No!” He exclaimed. His features turned dark and ominous. She wriggled in his powerful grip and attempted to free herself but it was no use. There was no sense in resisting, it was clear that he wasn’t about to let her go anywhere.
Tanner could feel her struggle ease and as it did, his grip relaxed slightly. Towering over her by at least six inches or so, he began to speak and said, “Anabelle, do you think you are the only one that knows hurt, pain and disappointment in life? Trust me, you don’t!”
Anabelle’s spine stiffened. No one ever talked to her this way and it wasn’t about to start now. She replied, “What the hell do you know about those kinds of things? Look at your life, Tanner! You have everything anyone could ever dream of - fame, money, power…”
“That’s where you’re wrong Anabelle. My brother and I would give all of that up right now for the one thing we’ve never had.” He said.
Sarcastically, she replied, “And what would that be?”
“Don’t mock me Anabelle. This is not something to joke about.” He warned.
“Who said I am joking? What are you talking about?” she said.
His grip began to tighten once more. The force of it snatched away the shallow pool of breath that remained in her chest. Startled, she looked up towards him. His eyes flickered with streaks of orange and yellow as he glared down upon her.
She started to panic and said, “Tanner, please…You are hurting me.”
His breath became labored, his eyes narrowed their focus. All at once things didn’t seem alright and she cried out, “Please! Let me go!”
But instead, he pulled her closer, squeezing her against his torso with a breathtaking force and in the next moment crushing his mouth into hers. She pushed feebly against his hulking mass, punching and slapping, but almost as quickly she relented and melted into him.
For in spite of her protest, Anabelle’s suspicions had indeed been validated. He had wanted her out in front of the hotel. She hadn’t just dreamed it up or imagined it like she’d so often done in her life. When it came to matters of love and sex, what had happened in Anabelle’s daydreams was always superior to what life saw fit to toss her way.
But not this time…
She could never have thought that something like a kiss could have made her feel more like a woman than she did right then. His strength was unimaginable. His vigor palpable. His intent without question. She could feel the whole of her body sink into his arms, curves and all.
For several minutes, their tongues danced and flicked while the din of backstage fandom raged just outside the door. Anabelle reveled in her moment – claimed by a real life rock star. No doubt she’d be the envy of every girl on the other side of that door and for once, it was hers to possess and possess it, she would…
Tanner moaned, broke free from her and said, “Fuck Anabelle, you are like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. If I’m not careful…”
Breathless, she replied, “…what?”
“It’s nothing… I…” he muttered before devouring her once again.
Anabelle had no idea what he meant and for the moment, she didn’t care. As the seconds ticked by, she felt as if they were melting into each other – utterly lost in mutual passion. Her hands began to roam as if they possessed their own needs, needs that had long been denied. She waited so long for a moment like this and now was the time for her to savor it – there would be no hesitation – and no regret.
Her fingers traced the thick ridges of his rugged abdominals. The soft fabric of his clothing did little to conceal the blessings of nature. To touch him was to touch living iron – the living embodiment of nature’s perfect design. Her fingers trebled along the grooves which were a perfect contrast to her softness but not her desire, which had ha
rdened like steel.
But sadly for Anabelle, not even the adoring touch of a specimen like Tanner Vossler was enough to help her overcome all that which had made her who she was. For even as she delighted in unimaginable bliss, Anabelle’s demons would not set her free. Her self-doubt pawed at her and reminded her of those times in the past when nothing had worked out.
And even though those events had hurt, they had been something that she’d been able to withstand. But this was different, he was different, they were different and if there was any chance that it might be the same thing all over again, well, it would simply crush her.
She couldn’t risk it.
She just couldn’t.
And so she did the only thing that she could do to protect herself in the moment… With all of her might, she pushed against Tanner’s thick chest and broke free long enough to say, “Tanner, please don’t.”
At first he was taken aback. Surprise came to his facial features but then softened into a look of concern. “What is it Anabelle? What’s the matter? Don’t you want this?” he said as he leaned away from her.
“It’s not that, Tanner. Of course I want it…”
“But…” he said.
“But, I want my self-respect even more.” She said as she looked away.
He reached down, grabbed her chin and gently turned it upwards towards him. “I don’t understand, Anabelle. What do you mean… your self-respect?”
She looked up at him and said, “I don’t want to play games Tanner. Look at me. I’m nothing special, I know it. This is doubly true when compared to all the beautiful women that throw themselves at you night after night. I’m not judging you for it, I’m just looking at the reality of the situation.”
“Anabelle…” he said softly.
“No, Tanner, please… let me finish. In the span of a few days I’ve gone from hating you, to liking you, to craving you… It’s totally nuts and it scares the hell out of me – I cannot explain it. I know how the world works and I know that if I was to give in to you… it would just be for tonight. I would never see or hear from you again and that’s not okay with me in my life anymore. I want you more than anything but I’m not willing to trade away my peace of mind for it.”
Gabrielle Demonico Page 24