by Debashis Dey
“There will be no more snowfall before winter,” he said.
“Let’s hope so. He is almighty and powerful,” said Naresh.
“He is powerful. I remember, many years back, the people at Basteri refused an invitation and he gave them a flood that washed away the orchards, fields, and houses,” Yashobant said.
He was one of the elders and had seen many winters. He knew more than anyone did, and his wisdom always went unchallenged. The only sad thing was his loss in the last election. But he felt relieved after so many years of chiefdom.
“Let’s all pray for good times,” Mohan said, and everyone closed their eyes and folded their hands in prayer.
As per custom and belief, snowfall always happened within a week after the Devta went for a rest and the red flag came down. But this was an exception and everyone believed that it was due to some fault on their part. The justification of the devastation and the suffering rested with Devta and nobody questioned his decision. They could only ask for forgiveness and make offerings to him. Parvati prayed with others. She also prayed for the well-being of Chotu and asked Devta for peace and an end to suffering.
At home, Nisha sat alone in the courtyard. Diwakar and Ria both left, Ria for her classes and Diwakar to meet his friends. Nisha thought about the strange longing she had felt when Pravin called. Earlier, during the first few months of marriage, she had floated on the river of passion. She thought this was what love was all about. She waited eagerly for every night when their two bodies became one. Passion overrode mind and a thoughtless state prevailed. Gradually, after a month when the initial excitement lessened, her mind woke up. It sought something more. Maybe it drew inspiration from the movies she saw, the few other books she read, or the stories she heard. She didn’t know what it was. But it was something more than the usual routine. And then some days she didn’t feel like making love. She felt like talking for a while, felt like listening to him like before when he spoke and dreamed with his eyes open. Earlier she kept her eyes closed; she enjoyed and engaged intensely until the flames smothered and she felt satiated. But slowly she realized she was just playing up to his expectation. It was not a matter of her desire, need, or satisfaction. She was simply a player in a primal act in which her role was restricted to keeping her legs open. Though her body responded instinctively, her mind started moving away.
Though sometimes she felt resentful, she continued with routine submission. She thought maybe this was what marriage was all about. But she never felt violated, as some part of her found a sense of harmony, rather a sense of completeness in the union. It was only when he left that she realized what love was. Not that she missed him in bed, in the act of making love. She had never noticed how, over a period of just a few months, she had grown accustomed to his presence, his form, shadow, smell, demands, and had lost her own individuality. Her existence drew on him, her looks, her walk, her words, her cooking, all revolved around him. She realized how much she depended on him. And now in his absence, every moment, every act seemed incomplete. She wondered what he would have said, how he would have reacted, how he would have replied, how he would have felt and so on. Thoughts of him occupied her days.
She even missed the submission, the compliance—her contribution to his happiness and the momentary freedom she enjoyed from inhibitions. She realized that absence and distance were more important to understand what love was. It was not in possession or in constant company.
So even though everyone was around, she felt alone. She tried not to think about him but everything around her—the hills, the trees, the river, the valley, the clouds—constantly reminded her of him.
Then she thought about Diwakar. He was young and she recognized his infatuation with her. Though she enjoyed being the object of his fascination, she assumed that she was just a placeholder and this would pass in the long run when he found that special someone. Until such time, there was no harm in enjoying his warmth as long it stayed within limits. She was confident she could handle him. After all, he was simple and adorable and though she felt affectionate toward him, it was nothing but sisterly affection.
Ria came back from school and found Nisha sitting alone in the courtyard. She left her bag and sat beside her. She was in high spirits because she had managed to give the card away today. After school, Jeet came out alone and she waved at him. He came over to where she was waiting with her friend Lila. She looked at him and he smiled. Without any pretext, she took out the card and gave it to him. He took it, smiled again, and simply said, “Ho lasse.” (Thank you so much.)
But it meant a lot to her. She felt content, accomplished, and happy.
“Can I ask you something?” Ria asked Nisha.
“Yes,” Nisha said.
“Promise me you won’t mind or complain. And you will tell me the truth.”
“You have my word.”
“Did my brother kiss you before marriage?”
Nisha thought for a while. Ria was fifteen and nearing adulthood. Maybe she had something else on her mind. She looked at Ria and saw she had a confused look on her face. “Why do you ask?”
“Please tell me, I need to know.”
Nisha saw that Ria was serious.
Nisha smiled and asked, “What do you think? Did he kiss me before marriage?”
“I don’t think so,” Ria said with confidence.
Nisha was surprised with Ria’s answer, as it was true. She had never kissed him before marriage, but how would she know about that? “Why do you think that?” she asked innocently.
“Simple, you don’t have a baby in there.” She pointed to her tummy and then added, “My friend said that if you kiss before marriage, you will surely have a baby.”
Nisha burst out laughing and it took quite some time before she could stop. Ria looked at her with eyes wide wondering what was so funny.
“That’s not true. You will never get a baby from a kiss, either before or after marriage,” Nisha said.
“Are you sure?” Ria asked.
“I am, but never kiss someone you don’t love,” Nisha cautioned and left her wondering.
Diwakar was walking back from his tutorial. Guruji who gave the lessons was a good teacher. He was intelligent and knew each student’s limitations. Even though he would have loved to take them further, he restricted himself to suggestions and having them memorize probable questions and answers. His home was a long way off—close to the plains—but he never saw his employment as a punishment. He knew the system was at fault and over a period of years, he had lost his resolve to fight and change it. He remained carefully neutral, voicing occasional concerns while helping deserving students make it to the next level.
Diwakar looked at the evening sky. The sun had just gone down, leaving striking red lines across the horizon differentiating the layers of clouds. They formed a spectacular backdrop to the peaks. His ambition had always been to roam these peaks as an army man, but now the dream had an added element, Nisha. And that made a lot of difference. The valley, the harvest, the peaks, the sky—everything came with a different color now. The village seemed different, too—a much more attractive place to stay. Earlier he thought life was an adventure, a challenge, but Nisha had changed everything. Now life had become a journey, a peaceful journey with someone to care for, someone to protect and love, someone to share his dreams. He was lost in thought and did not notice Balbir waving at him. Only when Balbir blew the horn did he turn around.
“Come here! I have something for you.”
“What’s that, Mamaji?”
“Your brother sent you some money. Here, take this—a hundred rupees for you and hundred for your Beysha (brother’s wife).”
“So you met him in Solan? How is he?”
“He is fine and seems to be doing well. He said he will come for a visit soon.”
“Yes, he must come soon. We miss him very much.”
Diwakar left Balbir and continued walking. He felt happy at the news that his brother was doing well. Aat�
� was his childhood hero and he still thought of him that way. He used to follow him everywhere. He was anxious to see him again and listen to his adventures. He was not concerned that Nisha belonged to him or that he had more access and intimacy with her. His world with Nisha was a different world, far away from reality, far removed from earthly encumbrances, a solitary spring flowing across rocks and boulders with single-minded determination.
He decided to spend a part of the money to load new songs onto his cell phone. He knew that Nisha loved songs and this was one way he could impress her. He would play them while he was in the field and at home as well. He would also top-up his mobile with talk-time so that he could call aaté sometime. He reached home and called Nisha inside.
“Aaté sent you this,” he said and gave the money to Nisha.
“And he sent me some also.” He showed the other note to her proudly and smiled, as if he had an equal share of his brother’s love.
“He will be here soon and then we will both go fishing,” he added.
“Can you do me a favor?” Nisha asked.
“Sure, anything you wish.”
“Take this money and buy a pair of good warm socks for Aama. And some bangles and hair clips for Ria.”
Diwakar nodded and took the money. He would go to Sangla to make the purchases.
***
Shevak had mixed feelings about his elder son. Earlier he had met Balbir, who assured him Pravin was doing well. Balbir had advised him to treat hs son as an equal. Shevak did not understand that. How can a father and son be equal? he wondered. All his advice was for his own good. Yes, he had been a bit rough with him but that was his nature. It did not mean that he did not love or care for him. He had spent huge sums for his education and supported him all along. But it was good news that Pravin had found a job. He would wait and see how long he stayed. Maybe he had changed; maybe marriage had made him more responsible. He lit a bidi and prayed silently to god. He wanted Pravin to settle down with a job. Shevak had three brothers and had inherited a fourth of his father’s land. This was not much and some additional earnings would help the family.
Parvati returned from the temple. She brought jalebi (deep-fried buckwheat in a pattern) with her, which was a delicacy that everyone in the house loved. After dinner, Parvati sat near the fire with Shevak.
“Chotu loves jalebi,” she said, as if to herself.
“Don’t start all over again! He is fine; Balbir saw him and said he is doing well.”
Parvati was pleasantly surprised to hear about Pravin.
“He is working in Solan. But I don’t know how much he is getting.”
Parvati was happy with the news that her son was well. She was not concerned with money.
“Is he coming back soon?”
“Balbir said he might come.”
“Don’t start shouting at him when he is here.”
Shevak looked at Parvati with his standard frown and muttered something under his breath.
“They are all grown up now and if you treat them well they will take proper care of us in our old age.”
“I don’t mind if they go their own way. If they don’t help out I can take care of myself.”
Shevak knew that without help he couldn’t continue for long. In the hills, people age fast. The hard work starts from childhood and it takes a toll on them. But he was not worried. Even if he couldn’t do farming, he could always hire a laborer for his apple orchards and the profits would be enough to support two old people. He thought he had done his best bringing up his children and now it was up to them and Devta to carry on. He decided to send Diwa once more to take the army exams. If he failed again, he could always talk with the Yashobant to refer him to the MLA (local legislator) for a job. Yashobant was his second cousin, and being the village head for so long, he knew people who mattered. If all else failed, then Diwa could stay at home, do the farming, and look after the cows.
In the village, everyone looked to their sons to take care of them when they grew up. Parvati always looked forward to retirement. Having spent her life in labor and toil, she only hoped that a time would come when she would get relief from this inhuman slogging. Relief from sowing the seeds, waiting for rain, plowing and tilling the field, reaping the harvest, carrying grass, fodder, refuse, firewood, crops, cooking, knitting, brewing, and more. She hoped that in spite of her past sins she might have done some little good for which she would get this reward from God. A good job for either of her sons would lessen the load and allow some comfort. Also, it would lessen the burden of loans and the painful repayments every month. And even if only one son stayed at home, he could lend a hand in tending the cattle, sheep, and other work. She was happy that there was some news from Pravin. She cared for all her children and always prayed for their safety and well-being. She felt most content and happy when all her children were at home under the same roof. She decided to offer puja at the temple.
At night sleep eluded both Nisha and Ria but for different reasons. Ria, enriched with her recent knowledge from Nisha, planned her next move. She knew that it would be soon when Jeet would want to meet her. But why wait? She herself could take the next step. The only confusion remained in what she would say. She knew she had to ask two vital questions. One was whether he loved to travel. This was important because he would have to hold her hand and take her out of this village to the end of the road where they would enter the city that glitters all the time.
The second question was how soon he could marry. This was vital to her existence. She could not spend a life centered around only a minute of pleasure every day and the rest in pain. She could not wait all day and all night for that one minute. The sun only shone in the evening when she saw him at the gate. The flowers only bloomed and the birds only sang for that minute. She wanted to have him and the sun and the flowers, all at the same time. She wanted him to be close to her at all times.
If he said yes to her first question and if he was ready for an early marriage she would know he really loved her. She would not object if he wanted to kiss her. She did not know how to kiss but she thought she could manage. As she had seen on TV, it was just pressing lips together. And now that Nisha had assured her that it wouldn’t give her a baby, she was more confident. She decided to ask him for a meeting but wasn’t sure where the meeting should take place. It was a small village and everybody would know. She could ask him to meet her behind the school but that was not a safe place. Or she could ask him to walk down toward Mastarang and meet her near the pine forest. But again, there were many people going that way. This had to be a secret. She thought for a while and then she found a way. She felt amazed by her own intelligence. She could ask him to meet her at Lila’s place. There was no one there during the day. She lived with her mother while her father was employed with the army. But she would have to ask Lila to stay away as a kiss would be difficult in her presence. She was pleased with the plan and felt like patting herself on the back.
Nisha was wide-awake too. Both Diwakar and his father mentioned that Pravin was coming to visit. She was thrilled. She had some doubts if he was coming for the family or for her. Maybe he felt homesick; maybe he wanted a break from his work. But then she assumed he was coming to see her. The family was secondary and with her father-in-law not on good terms with him, the only attraction that could have pulled him back was her. She felt good with her assumption.
Nisha decided to cook something special for him when he came. His happiness meant a lot to her. She decided she would stay awake the whole night and make him tell his story. Make him tell about his work, how he spent his days, what he ate, and how often he thought about her. The most important thing she wanted to know was if he planned to take her along with him. But she would not ask. She knew that it was important to stay with the family; to share the load of work. That was part of the deal called marriage. But she would make him promise to come more often. She decided to tell him that life was miserable without him, that she spent days and nights thinking
about him, that she felt his absence and missed him terribly.
Diwakar watched a movie until late into the night. It was a Chinese action movie dubbed in Hindi. But his mind strayed elsewhere. He listened to songs for a while and finally slept. In his dreams, he crossed the distant peaks on his horse. Nisha was with him. He reached a valley and the enemy surrounded him. They came from all sides with guns pointing at them. He had no way out. He pleaded with them to leave Nisha. But they were determined. And then he saw his aaté on the hilltop. He had a rifle and one by one, he shot down everyone. He was relieved. His brother waved at them and asked them to carry on. He waved back at him and rode away across the valley. Even after they rode to the end of the valley, he could see aaté standing on the hilltop with his rifle.
Chapter 10
Pravin was in the store reconciling the count of cement bags with a laborer when Anil rushed in.
“Come fast, you can do your work later. The architect is here and he is planning to start the electrical work next week. I have given him your name and he wants to meet you.”
Pravin locked the store and rushed off with Anil. The architect was seated with a bunch of papers on a table at the site. He looked at Anil and Pravin and asked them to wait. He finished his paperwork and asked Pravin to take a seat. He pushed a big drawing toward him.
“Do you understand this?”
Pravin looked at the electrical drawing. It was easy, a standard wiring diagram for one floor. He nodded. “Sir, I have completed my diploma from Peo in electrical engineering. This should not be difficult for me.”