Wrestling With Love

by Whitney Shope

  Trevor stopped long enough to take a deep breath.

  “He spent the next six and a half years parading her around as his dutiful wife in public and then abandoned her, and me, for the nearest mini skirt in private.”

  Mila, who listened intently, couldn't help but reach out and place a hand on his arm. No matter how mad she was, this broke her heart. Trevor reached for her hand with his own.

  “So, when the police called to say there'd been an accident that afternoon, of course, he was nowhere to be found. I was there with a nanny and I couldn't understand what was happening. Everyone around me was crying. Samantha showed up around an hour after the call and sat me down.”

  Trevor's breath caught in his throat and he squeezed Mila's hand.

  “She was the one who told me my mother was gone. She cried and tried to hold me, but I didn't want to be held, not by her. I wanted my Mom. I kept asking where my father was, but no one could give me an answer. Turns out he was in another woman's bed when that car ran the red light and slammed into my mother's car.”

  “Trevor...”

  “The sonofabitch couldn't even come home to hold his son. He couldn't even pretend he loved us. I ended up moving in with my Mom's sister Ellen. She filed to change my last name to Morgan and Dad didn't even try to fight it.”

  Mila looked at the defeated look on Trevor's face. His head down, refusing to meet her eyes, shoulders slumped like the weight of the world rested on them.

  “So that's why I'm not exactly quick to admit the connection there. I'm so sorry Mila. I had every intention of telling you, but I couldn't exactly find the perfect time to just lay this in your lap!”

  Mila wrapped her arms protectively around Trevor, pulling him into her chest. She still had a million questions, but right now, none of that seemed to matter. All she wanted was to feel as close as she could to this man.

  “You get the ice cream; I'll go get the utensils!” she said.

  “Okay, but do we have to watch ‘Dawson's Creek’? I'm kind of more of an old school ‘90210’ guy myself. I learned some of my best brooding bad boy moves from Dylan McKay!”

  Mila couldn't help but laugh on her way to the kitchen. When she returned, she sat and motioned for Trevor to position himself between her legs, back facing her. He looked confused but obliged as Mila began massaging his shoulders.

  “Mmm, careful there Ms. Stevens, you may get more than Netflix and chill.”

  “Is that how you, brooding bad boys work?” Mila asked as both burst into laughter.

  “I'm just glad you're here to be my bad boy, no matter what got you here!”

  Sometime during the third episode of "90210" Mila realized Trevor was asleep in her arms.

  “Look at him.” she thought “How did this happen? How did I end up here? I wasn't looking for anything. This part of my life was over and that was okay. But suddenly it's very much not okay. Being alone, without him, no matter how boneheaded he is, is not okay.”

  Mila felt Trevor stirring as he asked, “What time is it?”

  “A little after 10.”

  “Were you watching me sleep?”

  “Maybe. Is that creepy?”

  Trevor laughed. “Nah, it's cute. Plus, it's nice to feel like you matter enough to someone that they want to watch you sleep.”

  He delivered that last sentence with a big goofy grin plastered across his face. This earned him a playful smack from Mila.

  “You know I love you, right?” he asked.

  “Is there a ‘but’ coming?”

  “No, just reminding you. I don't want you to ever forget it.”

  “I know, and I love you too. . . you want to head to bed?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but first I have some making up to do.”

  Mila thought she knew what he meant when he stood up, took her hand, and lead her to the bedroom.

  But she was wrong. Trevor told Mila to lay down on the bed, on her stomach. Anticipating something far more explicit, she was surprised when the next thing she felt was Trevor's hands massaging her shoulders and back.

  “That good baby?”

  Mila could only manage a mumble in response.

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  Something about this caring, gentle, and loving act struck Mila. She couldn't remember the last time she felt as content and at peace as she did when she drifted off to sleep in Trevor's arms that night.

  ***

  The next morning, however, Mila was awakened by her stomach doing backflips. She ran to the bathroom where she immediately got sick.

  “Baby, you okay?”

  Mila heard Trevor's voice calling from outside the bathroom door.

  “I've been better.” she groaned.

  “You've been sick on and off for a while now, maybe you need an antibiotic.”

  “I don't have the time for that babe!” Mila was now brushing her teeth as she answered, “If it's still hanging around after Christmas break, I'll go get checked out. I honestly feel like it's just stress though. I've done it before.”

  “Okay, well, you know your body”, Trevor said, “Do you feel up to Christmas tree shopping today? It's Saturday and I don't have a match tonight.”

  “Yeah, sure. Are we putting the tree up here?”

  Mila exited the bathroom and made her way to the closet to find a suitable outfit.

  “Yeah, we are still planning on spending Christmas together here, right?” Trevor asked.

  “Yes, and I honestly can't wait! Just you, me, the beautiful lights of the tree and a nice warm fire in the fireplace!”

  Trevor walked over and snaked his arms around Mila's waist.

  “Sounds amazing!”

  Mila giggled before brushing her hair out, dusting on some light makeup, and giving herself a once-over in the mirror.

  “Okay, ready!” she said, smiling at Trevor, who took her hand as they headed out the door.

  Trevor and Mila spent the afternoon picking out the perfect Christmas tree, the appropriate decorations, and grabbing some takeout before heading home.

  They were happily stringing lights on the tree when Mila's phone rang. Trevor immediately made a move for it.

  “You want me to get it, babe?”

  “No, that's okay, I got it!”

  Mila made her way over to the coffee table where her cell phone lay ringing. She froze in her tracks at the name flashing on the caller ID.

  “Baby, you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost!” said Trevor.

  Mila felt herself getting lightheaded as she uttered the next words.

  “It's my mother.”

  Chapter Ten

  M ila stood frozen to the spot, ice running through her veins.

  “What?! Are you. . .are you going to pick up?” asked Trevor.

  “No!”

  Mila's voice came out at such a loud screeching volume that she startled even herself.

  “God no, no way in hell. I just wonder what the old she-devil wants!”

  “You don't look so good there, babe, why don't you sit down here on the couch?”

  It wasn't until Trevor made his way over to her that Mila realized she was still standing in the same spot she'd been standing in for several minutes now.

  “C'mon, sit down with me.”

  Trevor, his hands on Mila's shoulders, eased her down to the couch

  “Why would she do this? Why call now?”

  “I don't know baby. When's the last time you spoke to her?” he asked.

  “About 2 weeks before I moved here.”

  “Does she even know you're here?”

  “I had told her I applied for the internship. She didn't bother to react one way or another. So, when I got the call to come out here, I packed light, took the first flight out, and never looked back.”

  They both looked down at the blinking light, indicating a voicemail on Mila's phone.

  “Do you want -”

  Mila put her hand up to stop him, her anger and frustration taking over now.


  “No, let's hear what she could possibly have to say to me!”

  Mila's hands shook as she punched in her password.

  That's when she heard it.

  “Mila honey it's Mom. Umm, it's. . .it's been a while. It's almost Christmas and I just thought maybe you could come and see your father and I. Andrea's coming in from D.C. for Christmas and umm, we just thought maybe you'd come. I miss you baby; I hope you're ok. Wherever you are, I love you.”

  Mila heard the click of the phone as the message ended. Her phone was now asking if she wanted to save or delete the message and Trevor was looking at her waiting for her to answer.

  “Delete it.”

  “Baby, are you-”

  “Delete it, Trevor!” Mila snapped.

  Trevor pressed to delete the message as Mila sat there, head in hands, tears flowing freely.

  Not knowing what else to do, and fearing any words would just make things worse, Trevor put his arm around Mila and pulled her into his chest.

  They sat like that in the silence, except for Mila's tears, for several minutes before Mila suddenly jumped up and bolted for the bathroom. Trevor followed and could hear her violently throwing up and sobbing at the same time. He knelt next to her, rubbing her back.

  “Oh baby, please don't make yourself sick over this. She's not worth it, they're not worth it. They don't deserve someone as amazing as you!”

  Trevor gently brushed her hair out of the way, holding it back. It tore him apart inside to see her like this.

  “I can't do it, Trevor. I can't just forgive and forget, not yet. Does that make me a terrible person?”

  “No baby, it makes you human. C'mon, let's get you in bed!”

  “What about the tree?” Mila asked.

  “It'll still be there later tonight and tomorrow. I'll go turn the lights out, for now, you change into some PJ's.”

  Mila slowly got undressed and pulled her hair up into a messy bun. She was just pulling on her pajama top when Trevor returned, carrying a glass of 7Up and a couple of Tylenol.

  “Brought you a couple of Tylenol for the inevitable headache you've got, and I figured drinking something like this is good for your stomach, keeps you hydrated.”

  Mila couldn't help but smile. As much as she was hurting at that moment, his mere presence made her heart feel at ease, safe, at home. She may not feel it anywhere else, but in Trevor, she had found something irreplaceable. She'd finally found a home.

  ***

  Sunday morning saw Mila and Trevor back to happily decorating the house for Christmas, the events of yesterday tucked away into the "things we should be talking about, but we'd rather forget" category.

  As Mila was placing some odds and ends decorations on the fireplace mantle, she felt a pair of warm, familiar arms wrap around her waist and couldn't help the involuntary smile that spread across her face.

  “How does he do that?” she wondered. “I feel like a teenager around him sometimes.”

  “Looks, great baby!”

  “Yeah, the mantle didn't turn out half bad!”

  “I was talking about the reflection in the mirror above the fireplace, but the mantle looks nice too.”

  Mila raised her head to look at the reflection. She saw herself standing there, looking quite content in Trevor's arms. And then she saw it; just as clear and real as could be. There was Mikey, standing behind them, that beautiful smile that she knew so well painted on his face as he spoke.

  “It's okay to be happy you know. I still see you, I'll always be here, taking care of you. And I wouldn't have let him near you if I didn't trust him. His intentions are good. The best thing you can do for yourself is let go and feel. I always love you, but he can love you in a way that I can't right now. And please, do me a favor sweet pea, stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault; it never will be. Live your life sweet pea.”

  And just like that, he faded away, in voice and image.

  “Mila? Baby, you okay?”

  Mila blinked at Trevor, a look of concern on his face.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah. . .yeah, I'm okay. I'll be right back.”

  Mila made her way to her room and sat down on the bed. With shaky fingers, she dialed the phone. It only rang twice before an all too familiar voice picked up.

  “Hello? Mila, is that you?”

  “Yeah, it's me. Hey Mom.”

  “It's so good to hear your voice, how are you? Where have you been? Are you -”

  “Mom, I'm fine, I'm in New York. But umm, I think we need to talk.”

  “Oh... oh, yes of course. Do you want me to get your Dad in here?” Charlotte asked, sounding both confused and a bit apprehensive.

  “No, that won't be necessary. Listen, Mom, I'm not going to be coming back for Christmas. I don't know that I'll be back at any point. At least not soon.”

  There was a moment of stunned silence on the other end before her mother finally revealed her true colors once again.

  “Mila, why? Why would you do that? Your family -”

  “My family turned their backs on me when I needed them most. They let me believe that something so horrific and tragic that happened was my fault. They cared more about their station in the social hierarchy of town than they did me. My family let people talk about and shame me as if I were some kind of murderer. They let me damn near have a nervous breakdown while simultaneously becoming a shut-in who wasn't even made to feel comfortable in her own home.”

  “Mila, please -”

  Mila, however, wasn’t done yet.

  “So please spare me the empty 'I love you’s and the hollow 'I miss you’s until you're willing to admit you did wrong by me and apologize properly. Until that time, please don't bother calling or texting. You're only making it worse. I'm trying to live my life. I owe it to Mikey, and I owe it to myself. So, I hope you enjoy your holidays but please don't set a plate for me.”

  With that, Mila hung up. She let out the breath she hadn't even noticed she'd been holding.

  “Baby?”

  Trevor knocked lightly on the door.

  “Come on in Trevor.”

  “You okay? You left rather suddenly.”

  Trevor sat down beside her on the bed, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

  “Actually, I'm better than I've been in a long time.”

  He kissed her forehead before asking “And what's got you feeling that way?”

  Suddenly Mila stood up, so she was facing Trevor, and placed her hands on his shoulders.

  “I'm looking at him!”

  “Mila...”

  Trevor's voice was a breathy whisper as Mila's lips crashed onto his, pushing him back onto the bed.

  “How'd I get so lucky?” he asked.

  “You took a chance.”

  And with that, her lips were back on his.

  Chapter Twelve

  T wo weeks later Mila was standing backstage at a show in Philadelphia, talking to Violet and Britani while Trevor was wrestling Randall in the night's main event.

  “So how you been Mila?” asked Britani.

  “Umm, good, why are you asking me that?” a confused and suspicious Mila answered.

  Violet looked back and forth between Mila and Britani.

  “So, we're not talking about the elephant in the room?”

  “What elephant? What the hell are you guys talking about?”

  Violet and Britani exchanged a slightly worried glance before pulling Mila to the side.

  Britani took a deep breath, her hands on Mila’s shoulders.

  “Mila, sweetie, give it some thought. You-”

  Her sentence was cut off by sudden loud, audible gasps from the crowd. As the company's medical team ran out, the three girls ran to the monitors to see what was going on.

  There, on the monitor was one of Mila's biggest fears. Randall, looking terrified standing over Trevor, who was knocked out cold having landed awkwardly after taking a dropkick while on the top rope. The medical team had surrounded him and were bringing ou
t the stretcher, one of the most feared sights in wrestling.

  As the referee threw his arms in the dreaded “X” signal, Mila could suddenly only see in tunnel vision. She knew this wasn't a part of some storyline, she was one of the writers in charge of this feud. She also knew that that feared sign from the ref meant that this was every bit real.

  “TREVOR!!!!” Mila screamed as she bolted for the curtains to get out to him.

  “Mila, no, let them do their job!” said Britani, who had grabbed Mila by the waist and was holding her back, with assistance from Violet.

  “He's in good hands honey, it's going to be okay,” Violet said, her voice surprisingly soothing.

  “Noooo! Trevor!!”

  Mila, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably fell to the ground. Britani and Violet were right with her, Britani wrapping her arms protectively around Mila.

  “I know baby girl, I know. It’s scary but it's going to be okay.”

  Britani rocked back and forth with Mila in her arms, Violet rubbing Mila's back. Tears were flowing freely from nearly everyone as backstage descended into chaos. Suddenly the noise got louder and closer as the EMT'S burst through the curtains pushing a still unconscious Trevor on the stretcher, oxygen mask strapped to his face.

  Mila screamed for him as she freed herself from Britani's grasp and ran towards him.

  “Trevor!”

  A rather irritated-looking EMT stepped in front of her.

  “Please ma'am, back up we're loading him into the ambulance!”

  “That's my boyfriend!” she wailed.

  The EMT, looking thoroughly unmoved by Mila’s emotional display shot back.

  “Then feel free to follow behind the ambulance... Scott, you ready?”

  He turned away, speaking to his fellow EMT as if to tell Mila their conversation was over.

  Mila was fuming as she yelled.

  “You son of a-”

  “Mila! Come on, Brit's already on her way out bringing the car around, we'll follow them, let's go!”