What Would Jane Austen Do?

by Laurie Brown

“Well, our Teddy is sure to ask you to dance,” Deirdre said with a satisfied smile.

  “He was very attentive to you while playing croquet,” Mina said.

  Perhaps too attentive. “Please do nothing to promote an alliance with your brother. I don’t …” Would they even believe she didn’t find him attractive? “I’m not ready for a new relationship yet.”

  “You’re out of mourning.”

  “It’s not as simple as that. Please understand, and bear with me.”

  “Perhaps we should give you a few weeks to adjust to being here,” Mina suggested.

  “I think that might be sufficient,” Eleanor said with a sigh of relief. Now if she could only convince Teddy of the same. That burden added to her task of watching the sisters, as well as dealing with her unexpected attraction to Shermont, made the coming evening loom ahead like a dentist appointment for a root canal.

  A knock sounded on the outer door. “Girls?” Aunt Patience trilled from the sitting room. “Where are you?”

  Mina grabbed the tiara from her head, swept all the jewelry into the top drawer, then closed and locked it before Patience entered, making Eleanor wonder about the relationship between the girl and her aunt.

  “There you are, my dears.” The older woman plopped into the chair by the window and fanned herself. “I know you are the official hostess this evening, Deirdre, but I truly had to act quickly when I heard the terrible news.”

  “What’s wrong?” Deirdre asked.

  “What isn’t? First, Mrs. Matthews arrives a day earlier than expected with both daughters instead of just the eldest. That makes nine females for dinner. Now, one of Teddy’s military friends can’t come until tomorrow—some silly excuse about being on duty. I mean, what could he possibly be guarding against in the middle of the English countryside? Marauding cows? Pillaging pigs? Thank goodness Miss Austen sent word she and Miss Jane are not coming today.”

  “I did not get that note,” Deirdre said through tight lips.

  “You were not here yesterday,” Patience explained. “As acting hostess I felt it necessary to open the note to be informed. For Lord Digby’s sake.”

  “But they are coming?” Eleanor could not help asking.

  “Yes, yes,” Aunt Patience said. “They will arrive late tomorrow afternoon with their brother, Mr. Edward Knight. And I’ve already sent a note to the vicar saying we need him and the rector to fill out the table tonight.”

  Deirdre stiffened. “You seem to have coped with everything … in my absence. Need I remind you I am now here?”

  “Then you can handle the latest problem. Lord Shermont has asked for a tray in his room.”

  “I hope he’s not ill,” Deirdre said.

  “We should offer to nurse him,” Mina suggested hopefully.

  Aunt Patience shot her a quelling look. “Not necessary. His valet mentioned a headache as the reason. Rude man. He has absolutely no consideration for the inconvenience he’s causing me … I mean you, Deirdre.”

  “I’m sure the valet did not mean to be inconsiderate.”

  “Not him. Shermont.”

  “But you said—”

  “Never mind. What are you going to do about the uneven numbers? We don’t know any more presentable gentlemen who can fill in at this short notice.”

  “I’ll gladly take a tray in my room,” Eleanor volunteered. She hadn’t completely adjusted to the change in time zones, and jet lag was catching up with her. “I’m still rather tired after my journey.”

  “And have everyone speculate on the absence of two guests?” Aunt Patience appeared horrified. “Especially after his marked attentions to you? Absolutely not.”

  “Everything will be fine,” Deirdre said, remaining calm in the face of terrible disaster—uneven numbers at the table. “We will not be judged by London standards out here in the country. This is a simple family dinner with a few close friends in attendance.”

  Aunt Patience sniffed. “Well, I intend to give Lord Shermont a piece of my mind if he joins the party later in the evening as that odious little man intimated he would.”

  “Lord Shermont is our guest,” Deirdre said, issuing an unspoken restraining order that did not sit well with her aunt. She held the door open. “And it’s time to dress for dinner.”

  Aunt Patience huffed her way out.

  “You don’t seem to have a … loving relationship with your aunt,” Eleanor commented.

  Deirdre folded her arms and set her mouth into a straight line. “Aunt Patience refuses to admit I’m grown up and perfectly capable of running this household.”

  “She’s not really our aunt,” Mina explained. “Patience simply arrived with Teddy, her sister’s bastard …”

  “Mina!”

  “Well, it’s the truth. We eventually pieced together the story. Father met Teddy’s mother, Victorine, at Versailles while on his Grand Tour. She was beautiful and angelic. He was already engaged.”

  “The proverbial star-crossed lovers.”

  “Before he could make arrangements to break his commitment and marry Victorine, he was recalled to England because Grandfather was dying. Father sent word to her, but none of his letters were answered. Then, during the French Revolution, he lost hope and did as his father had wished. He married the girl he’d been engaged to—our mother.”

  “I’m sure he must have cared for her, too,” Eleanor said.

  “They were not an … emotional couple,” Deirdre said in a matter-of-fact voice. “But they were well-suited nonetheless. An arranged marriage.”

  Eleanor told herself such was the custom of the day, but it seemed so calculated and cold.

  “Father did finally hear from Victorine,” Mina said. “She’d had a child and feared for his life. He sent money for her to bring his son to safety in England. Even though he couldn’t marry her, he intended to acknowledge little four-year-old Teddy.

  “Victorine died on the journey,” Deirdre said. “Her sister Patience brought Teddy the rest of the way here. Mother refused to receive either one, and it created an irreparable rift between our parents. She died several months later. I was three years old, and Mina was still an infant.”

  “I wouldn’t know anything of Mother if it weren’t for the stories the older servants told us. She was sweet and kind and loved us very much.” Mina sniffled. “Father named Teddy his heir, and he was the proverbial apple of his eye.”

  “We might as well have been invisible,” Deirdre added, sounding more candid than bitter.

  “But your father took care of you in his will. The jewels. Your dowries. That must mean he loved you.”

  “He probably did, in his own way. But as far as the inheritance went, he didn’t have a choice,” Deirdre said. “As heir, Teddy received the entailed property, but the bulk of the estate came from Mother’s family and was already designated for her offspring in the marriage contracts.”

  “Much of the artwork, silver, household goods, and the money in the funds belonged to our mother, and she left detailed documents specifying how everything is to be divided between us. She didn’t want us to squabble over who got what and become estranged as had happened in her family.”

  So Teddy got the title, the land, and the manor house, but the girls got the bulk of the money and almost all the stuff. “You should take a clue from your mother and be involved with your finances.”

  Mina shook her head. “He may be in truth only a half-brother, but he has always taken good care of us. Why, after Father died, Teddy could have set us out of our very home if he’d wanted. Where would we have gone?”

  “We trust Teddy,” Deirdre said. “On the other hand, we are a bit wary of Aunt Patience.”

  “She takes things,” Mina said. “Like a magpie. Shiny baubles find their way into her room. We saw Mother’s dresser set in there, but she denied taking it. After that she started locking her door.”

  “She has always placed Teddy’s interest over ours,” Deirdre said. “And he treats her like the mother he
never knew. We have learned to be careful around her.”

  Eleanor already knew Aunt Patience hadn’t done a good job chaperoning the girls, or one wouldn’t have gotten into trouble and precipitated a duel. Now that she knew she couldn’t depend on any backup, her job got more difficult.

  Fortunately, she wouldn’t have to deal with Shermont at dinner. She refused to name her disappointment as anything other than relief.

  Chapter Six

  As they walked down the stairs to meet the rest of the party, Deirdre hooked her arm with Eleanor’s. “I’m sorry you will be paired with the rector as a dinner partner, but I really have no other option since you are the lowest ranking female guest.”

  Walking behind them, Mina giggled. Deirdre shot a frown over her shoulder.

  “I’m just happy it isn’t me,” the younger sister replied.

  “I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Deirdre said to Eleanor.

  “I hope I don’t make a fool of myself by using the wrong fork or something.”

  “Copy what Deirdre does,” Mina said. “That’s what I always do. And when in doubt, talk about the weather.”

  Pausing at the parlor entrance, Deirdre turned to the butler standing at attention nearby. “You may ring the assembly gong, Tuttle.”

  He bowed, and with an air of solemn ceremony he opened a tall case of darkest wood to the left of the front door, exposing a large brass circular plate with exotic engravings. He removed a batonlike device from a high shelf and struck the gong.

  Eleanor resisted the urge to cover her ears.

  “An ancestor of our mother’s brought it back on his return from the Second Crusade,” Deirdre said. “Come. Our guests will be arriving shortly.” The sound of the front door knocker followed their entry into the parlor. “Ah, that would the vicar and his rector. Always punctual.”

  “Especially if it involves a free meal,” Mina whispered to Eleanor as she took her place beside her sister. “If I were you, I’d find an out of the way corner until other guests arrive, or you’ll be stuck talking to the rector all evening.”

  Eleanor took Mina’s advice and sat in one of two chairs that faced the window. If she peeked around the high wingback, she could see nearly the entire room, but she was out of the traffic pattern.

  As the first guest to arrive, the vicar positioned himself near the fireplace and watched the entrance with a welcoming smile. The rector took a post next to a table that held a bowl of sugar-coated nuts that Eleanor knew as Jordan almonds, her favorite movie theater treat. She’d once read on the back of the box that a honey-coated version of the confection dated back to the ancient Romans and that the sweet had been around in recognizable sugar-coated form since the fifteenth century. The rector put one candy in his mouth and another in his pocket. He repeated the process every time the vicar looked the other way.

  Although the girls had not set up a formal receiving line, over the next fifteen minutes Deirdre greeted each newcomer, took the person by the arm, introduced the guest to someone, and provided a topic of conversation of mutual interest before moving back to the door to start the process over again. If Deirdre was busy, Mina smoothly took her place. They made it look easy. Eleanor was left in awe.

  “Why are you hiding in the corner?”

  Eleanor started. She hadn’t noticed Teddy’s approach. Bent over, his face was inches from hers. She leaned back. “I … uh …”

  “Shall I fetch you something to relax your nerves? I could smuggle in a brandy.”

  “I’m not nervous,” she lied.

  “Hey ho, Digby,” a handsome young man in uniform said as he approached. “Not sporting of you to keep the most attractive lady in the room all to yourself.”

  Teddy visibly fought for composure. “Cousin Eleanor, may I present Major Alanbrooke of the Forty-Second Hussars, temporarily bivouacked near here while on maneuvers. Alanbrooke, Mrs. Pottinger, recently arrived from the Colonies.”

  “Ah, so you are the widow Digby’s sister told us about.”

  Eleanor glanced over her shoulder and caught Deirdre’s eye. The girl grinned and winked before turning back to the vicar with a solemnly attentive face.

  “I’m compelled to warn you,” Teddy said. “Alanbrooke here runs with a rather fast set.”

  “No help for it,” Alanbrooke said. “My family motto is: Ride fast, shoot straight, and love well. Have to live up to the family dictum, don’t you know?” His serious tone was tempered by the twinkle in his eye.

  Something else was there too. Sadness? She sensed the man had given his heart totally and irrevocably elsewhere. The woman was unavailable, or his love was unrequited. His teasing banter held no motive other than a bit of pleasantry to pass the time. Intuition told her she’d found a friend, so she felt comfortable returning the conversational lob with her own bit of innuendo.

  “My family motto is: Beware of charming horsemen who are armed,” Eleanor responded.

  Alanbrooke grinned and spread his hands wide. “You have disarmed me with your beauty and wit.”

  “No man …” she said as she dropped her gaze momentarily to his waist, “with a sword is ever completely disarmed.”

  “As you see, I left my saber at the door with my hat.”

  “You have a saber?” she asked with an innocent smile.

  His hoot of laughter caused a moment of silence in the room. He offered his arm. “With your permission, there are two pompous young lieutenants yonder who need to be put in their place, and I have the notion you are just the person to do it.”

  Alanbrooke escorted her to the other side of the parlor and introduced two fresh-faced officers resplendent in scarlet uniforms. Parker, tall and thin with red hair and freckles, stammered his pleasure at meeting her. Whitby, stocky with a head of riotous curls the same shade as his laughing brown eyes, kissed her hand and made a gallant bow.

  That was how Eleanor became the center of attention of the military contingent, much to Teddy’s obvious frustration. He tried unsuccessfully to shift the conversation to a familiar subject. Eleanor didn’t help him out.

  “The problem with being attracted to an officer in uniform is that eventually it comes off.” She stated the innuendo with a straight face and sweet smile to make it more effective. The lieutenants attempted to hide embarrassed laughter behind feigned choking. “You two are horrible.” She stomped her foot as if she had been misunderstood. “You know I meant when the gentleman retires.”

  The lieutenants’ faces got redder and redder.

  “I believe the term you are looking for is ‘cashes out,’ ” Alanbrooke supplied after taking pity on his men. “When an officer leaves military service he sells his commission, thereby cashing out.”

  “Did Alanbrooke tell you we were in the same form at Eton?” Teddy asked her.

  “No, he didn’t. Is that how you two met?” she asked her new friend.

  “Yes. Rockingham also. You’ll meet him tomorrow. Parker and Whitby here are a few years our junior.”

  “We were so flattered to be included with upper classmen we didn’t even mind having to wear dresses,” Parker said in a rush, as if he seldom got to say a complete sentence. Whitby punched him in the arm.

  Eleanor let her surprise show in her expression.

  “Completely innocent, I assure you,” Teddy said.

  “I think we must explain,” Alanbrooke said. “We needed to raise funds for … ah … extracurricular activities. Digby had a crazy idea to put on a play and charge admission. He wrote it and then recruited underclassmen to play the female roles.”

  “I was much shorter then,” Parker said.

  “I should think so,” Eleanor said, straining her neck to look up at him. He was now the tallest man in the room, a gangly youth with a prominent Adam’s apple.

  “It was successful beyond our wildest expectations. So we did several a year,” Teddy said.

  “I neither drink nor gamble,” Parker said. “So I saved all, well, most of my share to finance my su
mmers in Italy studying painting.”

  “I bought two brood mares and stud service to start a racing stable,” Whitby said.

  She turned to Alanbrooke.

  “I drank and gambled to excess and graduated without a ha’penny to my name.”

  She turned to Teddy.

  “We should put on another play,” he said, avoiding her unasked question regarding his activities with slick ease. “Tomorrow night. Just like old times.”

  “I can’t,” Parker said with a long face. “My father made me swear on my great-grandfather’s sword never to put on a dress again.”

  “How did he find out?” Teddy asked. “We were so careful to keep your identity a secret.”

  “You probably shouldn’t have kept the costume,” Eleanor said. She’d meant it as a joke, but from the shocked look on Parker’s face she realized she’d hit a bull’s-eye.

  “Only the silk stockings,” he whispered.

  She put a sympathetic hand on his arm. “And your father found them?”

  Parker nodded. “Apparently, when I fired my valet he went straight to Father to exact his revenge. It’s the only way the old man could have known exactly where I kept them.”

  “You should have told him they belonged to a doxie,” Whitby said. “At least that wouldn’t have been so bad.”

  “Well, you won’t have to wear a dress this time,” Eleanor said. She patted the young man’s arm. “There are plenty of us who would be willing to act the female roles.”

  “You would do that? You would be in our play?” Parker asked.

  “Why not? And I’m sure Mina and Deirdre will agree too.”

  “I do not think that is a good idea,” Teddy said. “My sisters on stage?” He shook his head.

  “It’s only a bit of entertainment for friends and family,” Alanbrooke said. “Hardly scandalous.”

  “I suppose …”

  Teddy did not seem convinced.

  “With you in charge,” Eleanor said to him, “I’m sure everything will be above reproach.”

  “Of course it will,” Alanbrooke agreed.

  “Very well,” Teddy said. “They can participate.”