by Jag Bhalla
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
JULIA SUITS is a New Yorker cartoonist, painter, and geeky pursuer of the odd and overlooked.
* Lexical-Lego can be taken to extremes. For example, David Crystal in Words, Words, Words reports on a word that means “fear of long words” (hyphenated for ease of decryption): hippopoto-monstro-sesquippedalio-phobia –that’s 36 letters!
* In ancient Greece, every nine days 6,000 men were needed for a people’s assembly. Those not attending were rounded up by authorities using a red-painted rope that left them “marked men.” 2
* Not the language of the Ludians, though there is a language by that name, spoken by 3,000 people in the Baltic-Finnic family. This is a term derived from the Latin ludus, “play,” and used by David Crystal to describe universal word play.
* Not the closely related term for governmental laxity (from French “allow to do”). Here I mean equanimity of laxity–to devote equally less effort to each relevant area.
* Intentionally used as a verb; see “Shakespeared Brain” point later (plus I’m tired of being a stickler).
* Not a misspelling of evil intent, but meant in the sense of Wikipedia: efforts of collective commoners.
**My favorite definition of curiosity comes from one of my least favorite philosophers–Thomas Hobbes; he whose nasty and brutish influence has not been sufficiently short. He called it a “lust of the mind.”
* The peacock’s tail is featured in the very unsexy Polish idiom “to show the peacock,” which means to vomit.
* This is the original meaning of the word “astonishment.”
* Those romantic Germans have a word that translates as “dragon fodder,” for the gift a husband gives to apologize to his wife.
* Yiddish used to be known as “the mother’s tongue” and was used mainly by women; men used Hebrew. 1
* Psychologists have measured this phenomenon.
** Gemful–a word Blount would no doubt think should be a word since bejeweled is too unwieldy.
*Amorese or couplese, though, often is just oh-plea-ese?
* To have a domineering mother–to live under a hegemomy.
* Kanzi’s story is serendipitous. Researchers were trying to teach his mother; he was just along for the ride. She wasn’t a good student, but Kanzi inadvertently got the hang of it.
* A half-syllable away from the slightly more apt Nym (since that’s a morpheme indicating naming).
** Sadly Alex, to put it Python-esquely, is an ex-parrot. His last words to Irene were reported to have been “I love you.” 2
* Woo-woo theory now seems less apt; we need to emphasize the creative and humorous aspects of relationships. Perhaps “new ha woo” might be better?
** Disaster originally meant “under a bad star.”
* The Irish/Welsh have a proverb that insightfully warns “never bolt a barn door with a boiled carrot.”
* Tangent—a habitually disobedient slave in ancient Rome was called a wearer out of whips.
* In Persian myth, pearls were thought to be the frozen tears of the gods.
* In a similar vein, the Dutch have a curse: “May you get cancer behind your heart, so a doctor can’t reach it.”
* Revealed in his book Posterior Analytics (with the benefit of hindsight, that’s funnier than intended).
* In contrast to a long history of postmortem entrail reading as practiced on sacrificial animals.
* Shakespeare used the wonderfully apt word blindcheeks.
* Perfume originally meant “through smoke.”
* Ancient Romans had armpit pluckers, often slaves, at public baths.
* You can take the Implicit Association Tests yourself at www.implicit.harvard.edu.
* Some aspect of this distinction might survive in English’s number grammar–first, second, third, then everything from there ends in “th” (fourth, fifth, etc.).
* Heavy dictionaries are called donkey killers in Mexican Spanish.
* Sarcasm is from the ancient Greek for flesh-cutting.
* Petrified shares the same root as Peter. Petra in ancient Greek meant “rock.”
* Most of the world’s 6,000 or so languages are spoken by fewer than a couple of thousand people.
* Contra-eponymy?
* Completely tangential: Poppycock derives from the Dutch for doll’s poop.
* Darwin also wrote lesser known books on barnacles, orchids, shipboard microscopy, the movements of climbing plants, insectivorous plants, vegetable mold, and worms, none of which I’ve read.
* They had their own facial muscles electrically stimulated by surgeons in the process of creating the catalogue over a period of seven years.
* The French have a word for a “grief muscle” that Darwin mentions in another essay on expressions.
*Astonishment originally meant “to be struck by lightning.”
* In ancient Rome, a returning victorious general was given a triumph, a lavish parade in his honor—at which a slave was employed to constantly remind the general that he was still only human.
* Some would retort that competition imposes limits. Well, sort of, but not in a useful sense. Competitors out-consume each other in relation to resources until there aren’t any more inputs left to compete with.
* For some Europeans even this is meager; Romans in A.D. 354 had 177 festival days.
** The term laissez-faire is invisible in Smith’s writings. He believed government had a necessary role.
* Itself almost invisible in Smith’s writings, mentioned but three times in a million-plus words.
* H. L. Mencken’s joyful definition of a Puritan: one who is fearful that someone, somewhere is happy.
** Utility maximization—Enron’s initial business plan?
* In ancient Rome there was a job title called a psychopomp —a soul conductor. One of his duties was to poke fallen gladiators with a burning-hot metal rod to make sure they weren’t faking. Also, many plumbers in ancient Rome were women.
* In ancient Rome the fan slave was called a flabelifier.
* An idiom keeping alive an older meaning of curry–to groom or comb, as horses.
* H. L. Mencken defined conscience as the “inner voice that reminds you someone may be looking.”
* Not a misspelling, this is a symptom of Irritable Vowel Syndrome, an irrational nostalgia for English English spellings that causes intermittent inflammation of irritatingly omitted vowels.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Contents
Dedication
Introduction: This book can save you decades of effort! I’m not hanging noodles on your ears!
chapter one: The Language of Love: Swallowed like a postman’s sock
chapter two: Kith & Kin-dred: Seventh water on a starchy jelly
chapter three: Animals: Here the donkey falls
chapter four: Appearances & Health: Go out by the neck of your shirt
chapter five: Heads & Tails: Pull the hair out of someone’s nostrils
chapter six: Countries: Oranges to China
chapter seven: Numbers: The twenty-two misfortunes
chapter eight: Time: When dogs were tied with sausages
chapter nine: Colors: Sighing with blue breath
chapter ten: Emotional States: Bang your butt on the ground
chapter eleven: Work & Money: To have no time to die
chapter twelve: Food & Drink: Give it to someone with cheese
chapter thirteen: False Friends: One’s belly is thick
chapter fourteen: In Conclusiveness: The end is musk
Notes
Reference Sources
Reference Sauces
Acknowledgments
About the Author
About the Illustrator
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