I’d never seen Liv turn bright red. I couldn’t tell if it was because she was angry or because she was ashamed. But she was definitely looking at her own sister with new eyes.
“Do you understand? You point him out to anyone, I’m not going with you. I don’t know—maybe you don’t want me there now that you know. But no matter what, if you take John, you’ll be disappointed. And you’ll end up stealing his life for no reason.”
I didn’t want to look at Angus now that he knew the truth as well. I kept my eyes on Liv, waiting to see what she’d do. Liv kept looking at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Then she said, “Of course I want you to go.”
My entire body flooded with relief that Liv was backing down. “You’ll drop it?”
“Yes.” But her voice was tentative.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Liv shook her head, “Novak doesn’t know, but I told a few people—George, Emma—and they’re coming tonight.”
“They know who he is?” I began to look around wildly.
“No. But Julia, they’ll recognize him from Barton Springs. I repeated what you and I heard at dinner that night. I told them enough that they’re going to want to take him to Novak if you don’t. They all want to be the one to find someone.”
“They’re here,” Angus said.
I looked below. The Lost Kids were gathered in a group near the stage, and some of the crowd had their phones out, taking photos and video now that a sighting of our group was unmistakable. I saw George, Marko, Emma, and the rest of the kids on the periphery, looking up at us in the balcony.
You could feel Angus go into protector mode, wanting to get down to his friends. But I needed him.
“Liv, take them somewhere. Okay? Just get them to leave. Tell them you were wrong.” I spotted John not too far from the Lost Kids down front.
Liv seemed to feel my urgency and turned for the stairs. I knew I should send Angus with her, but I needed him too much.
Alone, we turned to each other. In spite of everything else, we had been partners in crime long enough that he knew what I was thinking.
“We need to leave now,” I said.
“Good luck getting them out of here.”
“No, I mean we need to leave Austin now. I’m not letting this happen because of something my sister got into her head.”
Angus chose that moment to remind me of our conversation at the dock. “If Liv is right, he would be guaranteed an exceptional life.”
“She’s dead wrong. You know that. Even if he didn’t end up like Kendra, he would lose his mind remembering what he had here.”
“And we won’t?” I knew it was the question Angus had wanted to ask me all night.
“We only cope with this world—we never get used to it. And now we’re going to a more suitable place. At least you’re going, if that’s what you want. So help me, Angus. Please. If anyone has a chance for a good life here, he does.” I knew my voice had an edge of hysteria, but I would beg to the ends of the earth until he helped me.
He stared below, the music pumping louder and building, the crowd moving up and down to the escalating song while I waited for his answer. Then he said, “Fine. But it has to be now, and it can’t be something that points back just to you. Make sure it’s long enough to be caught on video. Like Novak has always said, ‘We’re just one video away from leaving Austin.’ What?”
“That’s why I need you. I’m not sure I can do it anymore.”
Angus, of all people, hadn’t seemed to blink when I told Liv about myself—I hadn’t given him the chance—but I realized now that he didn’t seem surprised.
“Come here.” He gestured me over to him.
“What?” I asked, annoyed, but I closed the gap between us.
Angus looked me straight in the eye. “Don’t let this mess with your head. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”
My panic was rising. Seconds before, I would have jumped in front of a train to stop anyone from touching John, and now I realized I had no idea what to do.
Angus’s eyes were soft now, and he said coaxingly, “Move something. You’ve shown me that a million times.”
I studied the space frantically. I had no ideas for what I could try to move. I assumed anything that could get attention was far too big for me. I fixated on a lone monarch butterfly floating in the sky just above me, thinking it seemed such a strange place for one to be.
Angus didn’t say a word. He just waited patiently, putting it all on me. I watched curiously as two more monarchs joined the first.
“Angus…” I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder. I didn’t know what I possibly had left inside me.
“It’s fine. You have it,” Angus whispered in my ear. Maybe because there wasn’t any other choice, I went directly to the stillness, in the middle of the noise, in the middle of the crowd, waiting for something out there—any energy I could connect with, anything that would give me an answer.
I didn’t move. Then I felt Angus begin to laugh, and I heard the band jaggedly cut off their music, one instrument at a time. A silence spread over the crowd. People weren’t looking at the stage; I felt them looking up. “Oh my God, Julia. Come on. You have to look.” Angus’s voice was full of wonder. He nudged me, and, terrified, I lifted my head.
Instinctively, I looked to the sky. Butterflies, thousands of monarchs, hovered in a cloud above us. Lone butterflies on the fringes descended into the crowd, landing on raised fingers. In the hush around me, I felt the shared privilege of seeing something miraculous. I looked below, and I clearly saw John. He looked straight at me, as if he knew this was my doing.
My concentration was broken. With no warning, the butterflies chose a direction and flew under the eaves, out of sight. I’d never done anything like that; I’d never been able to influence animate objects.
Angus looked at me and shook his head. “That’s beautiful, but it’s not going to do the trick. I can do better.”
And then he leapt up onto the railing in front of us.
“What the hell are you doing?” I began to grab at him. Hundreds of eyes were now trained on Angus. I saw the Lost Kids turn their bodies fully toward him, as if awaiting orders. Angus looked from them to me, like he was telling them I was now in charge.
Angus ignored my hands. He suddenly jumped and, turning partway in midair, caught the metal railing at the edge of the balcony with his fingers. He dangled there for an instant, giving anyone with a phone enough time to catch his show. People were shouting, and the crowd parted below, anticipating Angus’s fall.
Angus launched himself from the third-floor railing, soared through the air, and dropped down, stomping the ground on impact. A boom emanated from the ground, and the crowd flew back at the force. The lone oak tree cracked, its roots pulling slightly up. The only people left standing were the teens from our two groups, there in the open for everyone to see.
Everything around me moved in slow motion, dust from the dirt floor below making the air hazy. People around me in the balcony began to fight for the exit, instinctively worried about the foundation of the building. And then I was stuck—stuck in the now-panicking mob, stuck in the tight stairwell when I needed to get to John and Angus to make sure both of them got the hell out.
It was madness when I made it to the ground level, searching for John through the bodies and commotion. The lights came on, and in the glare I caught sight of him brushing off Reese’s back. John’s eyes were scanning the crowd, looking for me, I realized. When he saw me, in a telling gesture, he began trying to make his way toward me.
I automatically took a step forward before stopping to take a cautious look around. I saw George to my left, near me, looking like an eerily still Adonis, his eyes fixed on John.
I wanted to meet John halfway, but I needed to save him. Angus had put me in charge of the Lost Kids, and right away I knew what to do. The butterflies had been the precursor to this. For the first time ever, I silently called for my frie
nds, attempting to summon them.
I knew when they heard me. I felt connected to all of them in a way I never had before, like I had been let in on something I hadn’t fully known existed. With the strange exception of Roger and Ellis, the Lost Kids parted the crowd and effectively formed a barrier in front of John, protecting him. Roger and Ellis elbowed their way through, joining the formation a few seconds late.
John thought he was purposely being blocked from me, and in disgust he turned away. He was done with me, in spite of his breathtaking impulse to make sure I was okay.
John was near an exit. He flowed into the crowd streaming out. I looked to George. He hadn’t moved. His eyes were focused on the oak tree, which was now tilting precariously, splintered and creaking.
It wouldn’t take much more than a mental nudge and the old oak would come down in John’s vicinity. It would be as easy as moving a pencil. I wondered if George would dare to try and if he really had it in him to hurt all those people.
George did it. With a snapping noise, the tree began to shift.
For me it felt the same as righting a glass of water the second it tipped.
Imperceptibly to anyone else, I caught the tree in my gaze and held it until I finally won the battle with gravity, redirecting it to crash, with a huge thunderclap, on top of a fence near the exit, demolishing it. A branch fell just in front of John, catching his side. I knew he was hurt, but he kept walking, so it had to be superficial. Nothing slowed him down as he tried to get out of the venue and as far away from me as possible.
George looked both annoyed and confused that his effort hadn’t worked. He turned to find Liv, giving up now that John had set foot outside the building. We needed to get out of here immediately ourselves.
John was safe from us. No one would have time to look for him now. This was it, after what Angus had done. Austin was over.
Silently I willed the boys to go too, to leave Angus in my care, to get home now. I knew they wanted to help Angus, but they seemed to understand my urgency, turning to the exit, disbanding. Again Ellis and Roger were a step behind, like they were on a different wavelength from the other Lost Kids.
For a second I stood there, not quite believing all that I’d done. And on my eighteenth birthday. I felt proud and a little awed. As always my next thought was, What will Angus think? I turned to see him standing in the middle of the venue at ground level, surveying his damage, Liv by his side.
When I reached them, I gently took his arm. “Angus, why? Why did you do that?” Then I saw the blood trickling out of his mouth and ear, and one foot rotated almost ninety degrees.
“I wasn’t about to let him go to paradise with you,” he said, laughing.
“Come on, Angus. Why?”
“I can’t let Novak own me,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. His words were confident, but his eyes were scared.
“Come on. Let’s take you home.” I hugged him to me.
“Julia, he needs to go to the hospital,” Liv said softly.
“No,” I said. “No. Goddammit.” I racked my brain for other possibilities, but I knew it was inevitable. His injury was beyond something one of us could fix or that he could heal on his own. Once the hospital had him under their authority, they could get his DNA, and Angus would be a liability to us. In one rash, rebellious gesture, it was all over for Angus. And he’d known it when he jumped.
Angus, unsteady on his feet, plopped down on the ground. “I just need a minute.”
“We’re going to get you taken care of,” Liv said. He actually nodded.
“I hope George saw it. That fucker. At least he finally knows I’m better than he is.” Angus laughed again.
Just then George came to Liv’s side. “Come on. We have to get you out.” He tried to take Liv’s hand to lead her away.
She pulled back her hand. “No, I’m staying.”
“He blew it for all of us.” George wouldn’t look at Angus, as if he knew Angus would be dead to everyone now.
“Liv,” I said, “let me handle it.”
“I’m staying with Angus. Go.” She raised her voice to George. “I don’t want this hurting anyone else.”
After George left, the three of us sat together, waiting for the crush of firefighters and police. You could hear the sirens faintly, then closer and closer, and then they descended. When Angus had been worked over and strapped down, Liv and I followed the stretcher out the front of the building to the ambulance waiting at the curb. On the street I paused midstep when I saw the black Mercedes with darkened windows. It slowed, drifting by, taking in the scene before gathering speed. Novak already knew.
Several cops milled around in the dingy reception area, knowing it would be a long wait until the doctor allowed them to question Angus. They occupied their time by playing and replaying the video of Angus that was apparently all over social media. You could tell whenever Angus landed in the video because each time the cops would exclaim as a group, “Oh shit!” and then one of them would say, “There’s no way….”
The downtown emergency room was quiet this late at night. The occasional patient was led or wheeled past Liv and me into a numbered room lining the linoleum corridor. The staff allowed us to stand outside the room where they’d taken Angus. Angus’s father, Lati, was now in the room with him. Liv and I stood unmoving, our eyes fixed on the mauve wall in front of us, waiting. Then Liv nudged me with her elbow. They’d arrived.
I saw my stepmother first, standing in the bleak fluorescent light, consulting with a young doctor. It was just like at the police station months ago, but now it was a doctor that Victoria was handling, not the police. She was making it known they were major donors and she was a physician. Special treatment, no police, more control over the situation, extra time. I was surprised she was attempting to work a situation that was a lost cause. This was far different from any close call that had come before: you couldn’t explain away what Angus had done or tell people they hadn’t really seen what they swore they had. It was time to leave town.
Though Liv and I knew he was coming, we almost missed seeing Novak enter Angus’s room. He strode so quickly down the hall, he appeared as a blur. After a lifetime of caution, he didn’t care anymore. He wasn’t hiding now that he’d be leaving.
A primal, guttural noise like I’d never heard came from the room. It immediately went under your skin, like nails on a chalkboard. The doctor who’d been speaking with Victoria abruptly began running down the hallway with a few nurses following her. It was coming from Novak. In my entire life I’d never even heard him raise his voice.
Liv and I both saw our chance to get into the room to see Angus. We slipped in, standing behind the group gathered inside.
Angus’s clothes had been cut in the ambulance, and from what I could see his legs were black and blue. He looked right at me. I felt him warning us to get out. He didn’t want us to see what was coming. Backing out, I grabbed Liv’s arm and we walked down the hall, instinctively flattening ourselves against the wall to escape notice. Victoria lingered in the middle of the suddenly empty hallway. She looked at us but didn’t move a muscle.
“Mr. Jaynes, we need to ask you to leave. Now!” the doctor was saying.
“How fucking dare you!” my dad snarled.
“Sir…”
“Get him out of here,” I heard someone say. Then my dad appeared at the doorway of Angus’s room, his face almost reptilian with the skin pulled tight, his cheekbones two jutting knots. And then, as if on command, his facial expression relaxed and he walked calmly into the hall. That was how quickly Novak regained control. It was the most frighteningly unnatural thing I’d ever seen. Victoria quickly crossed to Liv and dragged her toward an exit, leaving just me.
I watched Lati follow Novak into the hallway and lead my dad a few feet away from the room, where he thought they could have a private conversation. Their lips moved quickly. It was almost soundless. I focused everything I had on following their conversation
. Angus would be straining to listen from inside the room.
“I’m done with him.”
“Come on, Novak. We’re leaving anyway. It was a boyish stunt.”
“I warned him to shut it down.”
“We don’t know what happened yet. Maybe he fell.”
“I heard about what he did five seconds after he did it. He didn’t fall. He performed for hundreds of people. Years of planning and searching in this godforsaken place, and now we need to leave before I said we were ready. And we have no one.”
“He’s talented, Novak. We can use it.” Lati’s voice was calm, but the first note of alarm was moving into it.
“I can’t use it. He can’t be trusted.”
“Look, the pressure built, and he broke. They’ve been held too tightly here. Remember how much easier it was to blend in when we were growing up? We had so much more freedom than these kids; there was none of this technology hanging over us, ready to document our every move. And this forced division of our kids? When we get to the next place, we won’t have these concerns, and he’ll be fine.”
That sat terribly in the air for a moment. The pause held Angus’s life in the balance. Finally, Novak looked Lati dead in the eye and said, “You’re not coming with us.”
Lati’s tone remained calm. “What are you talking about?”
“You heard me. I suggest you and your family leave town as soon as possible. If it hasn’t happened already, they’ll make sure they get a sample from him—hair, blood.”
Lati acted like his friend was joking. “This is me, Novak.”
“Shut up right now, and you can take your money with you. You’ll need it. You know more about where we’re going than anyone—make a scene or talk to anyone and you’re cut off financially. And you know I will have people watching you for the rest of your life.” Novak turned to leave.
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