Zane frowned. “What happened?”
Jessica’s eyes widened, and then she spoke, every word sounding like they were being pulled from her body. “That’s for her to tell or not to tell. She’s staying at the palace for now, but that’s all you guys need to know.”
Everyone’s heads whipped toward her, and Kian’s expression was shocked as he looked at her. “I’ve never heard you speak up like that. That was awesome, Jessica. It really is.”
Jessica flushed, her caramel skin taking on a rosy hue. “No big deal,” she whispered, suddenly turning shy and uncomfortable again. The submissive in her, Ashley supposed.
Zane sent Ashley a probing look but didn’t remark further on her troubles with Vynn. “We’ll be able to tell if he lies. And he’s our only hope of finding Jessica’s attacker, even though it’s a slim one. I don’t understand this shit, though. We were expecting the next shot to be fired at me or Kian. Why try to take Jessica?”
Kian frowned. “Maybe this was unrelated.”
Kelly snorted. “Bullshit. No one in this tribe has a problem with her. How could they? No, it’s all related, although I’ll admit, it doesn’t make sense.”
“Maybe it was just a distraction for something else they’re planning,” Ashley said. “Maybe they’re trying to confuse everyone, so you won’t see what they’re really planning.”
Kian frowned. “That seems extreme.”
Ashley cocked an eyebrow. “And trying to kill you isn’t? Y’all sure do have some interesting yardsticks you use to measure actions.”
Kelly laughed. “She kind of has a point. And I don’t think there will be any figuring this out until we catch the person doing it. That needs to happen sooner rather than later.”
Jessica nodded as she sent a grateful look Ashley’s way. “I agree. If Ashley hadn’t been with me, I think he would have gotten me. I only got away because of her.”
“What did Ashley do?” Kelly asked, her curious gaze going back and forth between them.
“Apparently I really do have a shifter gift,” Ashley said with a laugh, remembering sending Vynn flying away from her with a touch. “Me and Vynn got into it earlier, and I was so furious, I went to shove him. And he went flying into his desk. Broke it from the force. He said it was like I sent an electrical current running through him, and it hurt like hell. So I ran up to the attacker, as furious as I was when I went after Vynn, and did it again.”
Zane looked at her with appreciation. “Daaaaamn. And you’ve never done that before?”
“No, not that I know of. I’m usually not mad like that, and I think that had something to do with it. I usually repress my emotions, keep them buried, not close to the surface.” Pausing, her eyes widened as she thought back to growing up. “Actually, maybe I had, and didn’t realize it. My dad would get drunk and slap me around sometimes, but he stopped as I got older. He said it hurt him, too. I thought at the time he meant emotionally, but now I think maybe he meant literally hurt.”
Kelly’s eyes narrowed. “He used to slap you around? The motherfucker.”
Zane put an arm around her. “Calm down, sweetheart. No getting the baby agitated.” He looked back over at Ashley. “I wonder how that works. If you can control it and do it at will, or if it’s only when you’re mad.”
Ashley shrugged, grinning at him. “I don’t know. Want to be my guinea pig?”
Stepping away from Kelly, he grinned back. “I’m up for it. Give it a shot.”
Still smiling, she moved forward and wrapped her hands around his forearm. “Feel anything?”
“There was a mild little shock, but nothing big.”
“You look disappointed by that,” Kelly said with a laugh.
“I am, kind of. I wanted to know what it felt like.”
Determination settled over Ashley. “Give me a sec.”
Thinking back to walking in on Vynn’s phone call with her brother, she tried hard to channel the emotions she had at that moment. It was harder than she expected, because some of it had worn off, but she was still pissed off and hurt, so she accessed those emotions.
Finally nodding, she wrapped her arms back around Zane’s forearm. He immediately let out a grunt and stiffened, stumbling back a few paces. She let go of his arm and he brought his hand up to rub where she’d been touching him.
“Damn, that hurt. Your gift is a powerful one. Although I’m obviously better at handling pain than Vynn, if that knocked him on his ass.”
Ashley smirked at him. “That was about twenty times less powerful than what I was feeling when I hit him with it, too.”
Zane’s smug smile faded into something almost akin to respect. “Damn.”
“We’ll work on getting you to see if you can control it later. But I think we need to focus on how to fight against an enemy whose moves make no sense.”
Zane frowned at Kelly. “The hell you’ll help her.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I didn’t mean I would necessarily. I meant in general. But if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d say screw that and do it if I wanted to.”
Kian held his hands up as Zane scowled. “Okay, okay. Y’all can fight about that later. Kelly’s right, we need to focus on whoever’s attacking our tribe members. I’m going to call another meeting with the warriors. Jessica, you go nowhere alone until we figure this out, okay?”
The two men left after that, and Ashley listened as Jessica told Kelly what happened. But it was a story she knew, and with all the distractions gone, Vynn floated back up in her thoughts. Wrapping her arms around her waist as the pain and anger returned, she walked to the window and looked out onto the snowy landscape.
She hadn’t wanted to get close to anyone while she was here. But despite that, she’d started to. Then she’d pulled back, determined to follow through on her original plan and leave, never coming back. And one night in bed with Vynn had her wanting to throw that determination right out the window.
But now… now she was back to leaving and never returning. The difference was, after the way she broke apart and reformed into someone else, she didn’t want to. The thought of returning to her bleak existence was suddenly depressing and painful. But there was no way she could stay here now. Not after what Vynn had done.
Fuck, what she wouldn’t give to go back to not feeling. But she didn’t think she’d ever be able to go there again.
Vynn stalked toward the palace, knocking impatiently on the door and slamming his boots on the mat to get the snow off of them. Kian opened the door and stood back to let him in, gesturing him through to his study.
When he walked in, he saw Zane, Karis, and Jameson already there, waiting on him. With a nod, he dropped the bag he was carrying by the door and walked over to the fireplace, warming his cold hands.
“Well?” Zane demanded, impatience coating his tone.
Turning toward them, he shook his head. “Nothing. There were too many scent trails around there. I might have been able to pick the scent up, but too many warriors were there recently trying to find him. I looked around for a little bit but couldn’t find anything.”
“Can we ask him if he’s the one who did it?” Zane muttered.
Kian looked at him sharply. “Zane. Not again.”
“What? I want to hear the truth in his voice. He took an awful long time for someone who found nothing.”
Vynn exhaled in exasperation, gesturing to the bag he’d dropped on the floor. “Kian said Ashley was staying here for a while, so I went to get her things. That’s what took so long. No, I didn’t do it. If I was going to take someone in the tribe, it’d be my mate so I could take her home where she belongs.”
“That’s not your plan now, is it?” Karis asked, eyes narrowed on him.
He snorted. “Would I have brought her stuff if it was?”
Jameson eyed him. “What happened between you two, anyway?”
“It’s Vynn. You had to know he’d screw it up at some point.”
He glared at Zane. “You’re a dick.
”
“Ditto, fucker.”
“Vynn.” Kian’s voice was quiet as he spoke, looking at him steadily. “Maybe we can help.”
“All telling you guys will do is piss her off even more.”
Kian cocked his head. “Is this about what you came to me about?”
“What? What’s going on? If it’s something that could affect our alpha, we have a right to know,” Zane said, a scowl on his face.
Vynn shook his head. “I don’t think it’ll effect the tribe or anyone in it. Although, we’ll probably have some visitors as soon as the roads clear.”
“You talked to them, then?” Kian asked.
“Yep. That’s why she’s pissed. She walked in and overheard some of it.”
“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” Zane demanded, shoving back from his chair.
Vynn exhaled, shoving his hand through his hair. How he fucking hated letting anyone in on his life, but hell, maybe Kian was right and they could help. Besides, it wouldn’t be a secret for long once the Adams brothers showed up.
He told them all of what was going on, from who she was to what she overheard. “I was trying to help fix things between them, but all I did was screw up everything between me and her.”
Karis whistled. “Shit, man. How are you going to fix it?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have a clue. I do know I can’t just force her to come back and listen. I thought I’d give her some time to cool off.”
Jameson looked at him sympathetically. “Don’t give her so much that she has time to get more upset and pull further away. Or worse, leave as soon as she’s able.”
Jesus, this was weird. Being looked at with sympathy, of all things, and having advice given to him. What alternate universe was he in?
Zane spoke up, smirking at him. “Can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Vynn’s mate is related to shifters in Eagle Creek?”
“Fuck, this again? Get the hell over it.”
Karis shrugged, his eyes dancing with merriment. “Come on, even you have to appreciate the irony of that. Your mate isn’t from Durga, doesn’t have a tiger, and is related to shifters you hate for the hell of it. It’s poetic justice.”
“Moving on. What are we going to do about whoever’s fucking with the tribe members?”
The guys sobered, and they spent a few minutes discussing their next move. Karis ended the meeting saying he was calling all the warriors in again, and Vynn walked over to Kian.
“Hey, can you make sure Ashley gets her bag?”
Kian nodded, staring at him with dark eyes. “Sure. What are you going to do about fixing things with her?”
“Hell if I know. I’m sure it’ll come to me.”
Kian nodded, clapping him on the shoulder. “Good luck.”
Picking up the bag, he left the room, and Vynn moved to follow him. Zane walked next to him, smirking again, and Vynn lost the final bit of temper he’d been struggling to hold onto.
Spinning, he growled as he shoved Zane into the wall. “What the hell is your problem, Zane?”
Zane hissed, his eyes turning the neon green of his tiger. “I know you’re planning something. You might have Kian and the others fooled with your talk of not wanting to hurt the tribe, but I don’t fucking buy it.”
“Fuck you, asshole. I don’t give a shit if you buy it or not. Just stop walking around here like you’re all high and mighty. You might have forgotten who you were a short time ago, but I haven’t. You want to talk about me being mated to someone related to shifters I hate, but it wasn’t long ago when you hated them, too. You can suck my fucking dick with that bullshit.”
Zane grimaced, some of the fire abruptly leaving his eyes. “Maybe I take my distrust and suspicion too far, but it’s because I haven’t forgotten who I was. I know how close I came to spiraling out of control. If I hadn’t found Kelly, I would have had to be put down. I know that. But I’m not the man I used to be.”
“Is it really so hard to believe that I could have changed, too? That maybe I have been slowly changing over the years, but you’re just too fucking blind to see it? I have no plans to take down you or Kian. No desire to be Alpha. I enjoyed letting you think I did, because you all were so intent on it and I loved fucking with you. But I don’t want it.”
Zane studied him, his look probing. “But you are planning something, aren’t you? Don’t bullshit me. You’re right, we were close once, and I do know you. I know how you think. Maybe it’s not about me or Kian or even the tribe, but there’s something going on.”
“Maybe I have been. But it has nothing to do with this tribe and doesn’t affect anyone here except me. And we’re not close anymore, Zane. Not since you came home acting like you were better than the rest of us. So you can fuck off with any more questions, because I won’t be answering them.”
Zane looked at him with troubled eyes, but Vynn ignored him, stalking out of the study and then out of the palace. He shoved the confrontation out of his mind as he walked back to his house. He had other things to think about. More important things.
Like how the hell he was going to win back Ashley.
Chapter Thirteen
Ashley finished dressing after her shower and then stared at her bag on the bed. Fingering the zipper, she finally sighed and sat down next to it. When Kian brought it by last night, the first thing that hit her was relief that she didn’t have to go to Vynn’s house to get her things.
But when she laid in the bed to try to sleep, all she could feel was this soul crushing sadness that hadn’t gone away yet. She’d tossed and turned all night, feeling incredibly lonely, in a way she hadn’t ever felt before.
Running her hands through the wet strands of her hair, she exhaled, turning her head toward the window. There had felt like there was a huge part of her missing when she finally fell asleep, and the feeling hadn’t gone away.
She missed the bastard. As much as she wished it wasn’t so, she did.
But she was also still pissed as hell. Still felt betrayed. And she didn’t know if there was any way she could ever get past that.
It was looking like missing him was just going to become her new normal.
It doesn’t have to be, her fox said softly.
It does. I know you think he’s wonderful, and that he’s our mate and we need him. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust him again.
You have to try. Forgiveness, remember?
Ashley shook her head as she pushed herself off the bed, going to the bathroom to run her brush through her hair, hoping to speed the drying process up. Her animal didn’t understand. If she let him think she was forgiving him, it let him think it was okay to do shit like that.
Even if he thought it was helping, the fact was, what he did wasn’t okay. And any time she’d ever given her dad her forgiveness, he’d taken it as her giving her permission to do it again.
Hey, so you slapped me around. I’ll just keep forgiving you, and then you’ll think no matter what you do, I’ll be okay with it.
Nope. She wasn’t doing that again. She’d buried her emotions, buried herself, down deeply inside so she couldn’t feel hurt again. Her fox wasn’t the only thing she’d been suppressing. She’d been suppressing herself.
And then she opened herself up to her emotions again with Vynn and look where that got her. She only hoped her fox didn’t do the same thing her so-called mate had.
I won’t. You haven’t been burying me at all and I haven’t tried to take the body once. Just share once in a while, okay?
I’ll try.
And she would. It would take some work to let herself trust in her animal enough to give her her body, but she was going to try. Her fox was putting her trust in her right now. Ashley was going to learn to give it back.
But that was the only thing she was putting her trust into.
Fuck, what was she going to do? Her desire to find her brothers had faded after overhearing the phone call. She didn’t know why—it was just gone.
And she didn’t trust that they wouldn’t come straight to Durga to find her once the roads were clear.
Maybe she should just go home. See if Zane or Kian would take her to a town with a bus stop, hop on a bus, and go straight home. She’d never told anyone where she lived, so neither Vynn nor her brothers would ever find her.
Or maybe you should talk to your brothers. Forgive them, her fox suggested.
Ashley snorted. Forgive them? What the hell did she have to forgive them for? She’d been planning on hurting them the way they hurt her, not giving them forgiveness. Get her revenge on them for leaving her with her dad and then go back home.
Holy. Fuck.
The hair brush tumbled from her suddenly nerveless fingers, clattering to the sink. That was it. How had she been so blind for so long?
Stumbling back to the bed on shaky legs, she sat on the edge, staring down at her feet. She’d thought forever that she wanted revenge because they’d taken her dad. But if that were the case, why did she wait five years? If it was really that important, she would have left a hell of a lot sooner.
The truth was a lot more complicated. She kept saying she was coming for answers and then, depending on what those answers were, revenge. And the revenge part was true. But the question she wanted answered wasn’t about what happened to her dad.
It was why hadn’t they saved her from him.
But she didn’t do emotions and feeling things. And that question held far too much of both of those. So she fooled herself into thinking it was a quest for answers on why Hank disappeared. That reason wasn’t full of pesky emotions. It was family honor, plain and simple.
That was what her fox meant about forgiveness. She wanted her to forgive her brothers for leaving her with her dad. For not rescuing her from him. For not caring, at all, what happened to her.
Fuuuuck. Talk about a bombshell. She’d made herself so willfully blind to the truth behind her own actions. How had she let that happen?
And maybe she did need to speak to her brothers. Enough to at least know the truth for her own peace of mind. Not knowing would haunt her, just as it had since she learned her brothers existed. She’d tried to ignore it. She even managed to go five years after her dad left without doing anything about it, but the need to know didn’t go away. It just built and built, disguised as something that didn’t make her feel so damned much, and then exploded. And that was when she left on her journey.
Vynn (War Cats Book 4) Page 13