by H. D. Gordon
Behind me, I heard Kayden release a heavy breath. “I’ve heard this before,” he said.
“Then start paying attention.”
“How can you, of all people, pass judgment on me?”
At that, I spun around to face him, once again causing spots to dance before my eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Kayden’s dark eyes were filled with frustration, but his face betrayed nothing.
“You know exactly what I mean,” he said. “You know I didn’t want to fight Mark. I had no choice, just like you had no choice with Daniel. But I never blamed you for what you did, because I knew you did what you had to. If you could get over your own emotions for a moment, you would realize that I did the same thing.”
Again, some part of me knew he was right, but I was way too keyed up at the moment to let anything rational through. “I was wrong then!” I shouted. “And you were wrong today. Every single one of us who steps into that Arena is wrong! No one can force us to fight, we make our own choices, and we choose wrong!”
I knew I must sound hysterical, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was just so very angry, and I needed to let it out somehow. Kayden wasn’t even the one I was mad at, not really, but he just happened to be the lucky one to be around me while I had a mental breakdown. I still was unsure as to whom I was mad at, but I was starting to think it was everyone. I hated these people, all of them, and their stupid, crazy, fucked up ways. But most of all, I think I hated myself, for allowing them to drag me into this loony lifestyle.
The shouting must have taken the last of my energy, though, because I felt my knees buckle beneath me, and I blacked out before I could hear Kayden’s response.
Chapter 60
I felt like I was floating. Like I was floating through the air on a cloud, only the cloud wasn’t fluffy, like you’d expect a cloud to be. No, what I was floating on was smooth and warm, gentle and strong at the same time. In my weak state, it took me a moment to realize that I wasn’t floating at all. I was being carried. And if the tingling in my chest was any indication, I was being carried by Kayden.
I tried to lift my head a few times, but was unable. I wanted to tell him to put me down, that I didn’t need to be carried like an infant, even though I definitely did. But at the same time, I just wanted to stay in his arms like this forever. I wanted to have him hold me, and to lose myself in his touch. I felt elated, even though my muscles wouldn’t respond to any of my commands. With him carrying me so close, holding me tightly to his chest, I felt so wonderful, I wondered if I’d died and gone to heaven.
I think I dipped in and out of consciousness, because I caught glimpses of things as I went wherever Kayden was taking me. I saw flashes of buildings and streetlights, which then changed to trees and bright stars overhead. When the scene changed yet again, and I saw a fireplace and large bookshelf, I knew where I was.
Strangely enough, it felt like coming home, even though it was his home we were in, not mine. When he laid me down gently on the couch, I almost whimpered at the loss of his touch. It was literally like having part of my soul ripped away from me, like losing the grip on a ledge I was holding onto. That was what it was like; falling. Falling back into a fire, whose heat I was so familiar with, after having been in a warm, comfortable place; a place that only Kayden could ever take me.
He returned a moment later, and I felt the couch dip with his weight as he sat down beside me. I managed to crack my eyes open a little more, but the effort was painfully difficult. I just wanted to go to sleep. He leaned over me, and my chest swelled having him so close to me again. When he brushed my hair out of my face, the rough, but gentle tips of his fingers made goose bumps rise on my skin. I closed my eyes again, basking in the feel of his touch. But when I felt something warm and wet touch my lips, my eyes flew open again.
Kayden was pressing his wrist to my mouth, and when I looked up at his face, I saw that his fangs were exposed and they had a little blood at the tips of them. “You have to drink, Alexa,” he said softly.
Even though it was obvious, it took me a second to realize what he meant.
Summoning what little energy I had, I managed to give my head a small shake; even that small movement made the world go black for a second before I could see again.
Kayden’s voice took on a note of urgency. “You have to try, please. Just trust me.” When he pushed his wrist to my mouth again, I had no choice but to taste his blood. The second it hit my tongue, I swallowed involuntarily and felt a small zing of energy, like my heart just picked up in pace. His blood was sweet and warm, and before I knew what I was doing, I latched onto his wrist with my teeth. They sank through his skin way too easily, but I was too enthralled at the moment to really consider it.
The more I drank, the better I felt; and when I say better, I really mean amazing. I had never really done drugs in my life, but if I had to compare drinking his blood to something, I would call it ecstasy. It made my skin tingle and my mind cleared almost immediately, which eventually gave me a clear enough head to realize what I was doing. But it was such a potent feeling, that I had grabbed his wrist with both hands and taken a long swallow of his sweet blood before I was able to stop myself.
Finally, I was able to push his wrist away, but for a moment, all I could do is stare at the ceiling in pure bliss. After a few seconds, I blinked hard and pulled myself to a sitting position, feeling better than I had felt in days.
I licked the last of his blood from my lips and ran an index finger over my incisors; which were long and sharp. “Oh, lord,” I said, more to myself than to him.
I didn’t want to look up into Kayden’s eyes, especially since I could feel them watching me. But he reached up and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You’ve never had blood before?” he asked, studying what must have been my high-looking face. I was still very much feeling the effects of his blood.
I shook my head. “They don’t exactly serve it at McDonalds.” He looked down at my lips then, causing me to run my tongue over them self-consciously. “I can’t believe you were able to stop at all then,” he said.
I stared at him for a moment, then, told the truth. “I didn’t want to.” He was still staring at my lips, and I shifted a little under his gaze. “How are you feeling?”
I blew out a slow breath and laughed a little at my euphoric state. “Like I could rule the world,” I said, with what I’m sure was a goofy smile.
To my astonishment, he pulled me onto his lap and held me tightly to his chest.
The feeling he always gave me combined with his blood now flowing through my body made me want to purr with absolute contentment. But when his hand brushed my knee, I felt the fabric of my jeans stick to my leg and looked down to see that it was stained with blood. He pushed my pant leg up and I saw that there was blood on my knee, but no injury.
“Did the blood heal it?” I asked.
He just nodded, and continued staring down at my knee.
“How did that happen?”
His eyes stayed locked on my leg, and when he spoke, his voice was distracted.
“Your knee hit the ground before I was able to catch you.” When he bit his bottom lip, still staring at the blood on my knee, I pulled myself up so that I was sitting on top of him. He looked surprised, and a little apprehensive, but to my amazement, he didn’t make me move. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, maybe it was because of the high I was still feeling, but I pushed my hair off of my shoulder and tilted my head to the side.
His eyes jerked up and landed on my neck, where I could feel my pulse racing.
When he looked into my eyes I could see the struggle behind his golden ones. He wanted to drink from me, and we both knew it.
“No,” he said, almost like the word was painful for him.
I looked down at his mouth to see that his fangs were still very much exposed and he was breathing quite heavily. “Why not?”
“You’re still weak,” he gritted out.
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I gave a half smile, then reached up behind his neck and pulled his head down so that his lips were just a half inch from my neck. “I’m a lot stronger than I look,” I whispered in his ear.
His body stiffened, and for a moment, I was sure he was going to push me off of him. But when I felt a sharp pain in my neck, I knew that I was wrong. Pulling him closer, I sighed at the feel of his soft lips on my skin. After the initial bite, there was no more pain.
Actually, if I thought that drinking his blood was euphoric, I clearly had no idea what that meant.
This was ecstasy.
His arms circled my waist and pulled me to him with a less than gentle embrace.
My eyelids fluttered as I stared up at the ceiling and let Kayden drink from me. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, more wonderful than anything I could have ever imagined.
Much too soon, he pulled back and ran his tongue over his lips, which were covered with my blood. This made me find him even more attractive. This was amazing, considering the fact that I didn’t know I could find him any more attractive.
He stared into my eyes and I could see that there was affection behind his. “Your eyes are glowing,” he said quietly.
I blinked and looked down at my hands, which were trembling with exhilaration.
“Yeah, that happens I guess.”
He tilted my chin up, once again forcing me to look into his sunrise eyes. “It’s beautiful,” he said, “Absolutely beautiful.”
I smiled at his compliment and went to move so that I was sitting beside him. But he kept his arms tight around me and laid me down on the couch, with his body pressed close to mine.
Never in my life had I felt so safe. With Kayden’s powerful arms wrapped around me possessively, his soft lips and short beard nuzzling my neck, I felt like I could weep tears of joy. I belonged in his arms. It was like they were created to hold me. Like I was created to be his.
We lay like that for a long time; him just trailing his fingers up and down my arm as I clutched his other hand in mine. He broke the silence first. “What were you doing?” he whispered into my hair. “Trying to starve yourself?”
I closed my eyes and again answered truthfully. It was just impossible to lie when he was holding me. “No, I was trying to think clearly.”
He was quiet for a moment before asking, “Where would get the idea that not eating would help you think clearly?”
“From S-,” I paused, catching myself before I said Soraya’s name. “From someone,” I said stupidly.
He sighed into my hair, and it caused a shiver to run up my spine. “Always so guarded, Warrior.”
I remembered then that I had some very serious things that I wanted to talk to him about. It took more effort than I wanted to admit to pull myself from his arms. He sat up too and I scooted down the couch a little to put some distance between us.
He raised an eyebrow, then, looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”
I raised my eyebrows in return. “You think you make me uncomfortable?” When he didn’t answer, I continued, “We both know exactly how you make me feel, Kayden.” I took a deep breath and added, “Considering the fact that I’m a Warrior, and you’re a Libra, I would wager I make you feel the same way.” The look on his face was more impressed than anything else. “When did you figure this out?”
I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “Someone told me.”
He looked confused for a moment, before understanding flashed behind his eyes.
I knew he already knew the answer to his next question, but he asked anyway. “Who told you, Alexa?”
I tilted my head a little and asked a question of my own. “Who knows what you are?” Now his face showed surprise, but I pushed forward. “I met a little girl named Soraya.” He stood up so abruptly that I almost flinched, and began pacing the room.
“When did you see her?”
“I went for a run and I wasn’t paying attention to how far I was going…. Then, she threw rocks at my head and threatened me with a stick.”
He shook his head and one side of his mouth pulled up in a half smile. “That’s Soraya alright.”
“She showed me the village.”
He stopped his pacing, and then, he was standing in front of me before I even had a chance to blink. “Did anyone see you?”
It was intimidating, having him stand over me like that, but I looked up and met his eyes. “Not the first time.”
He stared at me for a moment before sitting down next to me. He released a slow breath and rubbed his face with his hands. “You went back.” It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. When he just sat there, I said, “Of course I went back. Those people need help, Kayden.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Well, then you won’t mind answering some questions so that I can figure out how to do that.”
His face was unreadable again, but there was pain behind his eyes. “There’s nothing to be done,” he said.
I threw up my hands. “The hell there isn’t. There has to be someone behind this, and I’m going to find out who that is, so you can save me some trouble if you want. But with or without your help, I will get to the bottom of it.”
He stayed silent, so I scooted down the couch and took his hand in mine. “Please, Kayden,” I said. “I know you want to help Soraya, so do I, even if it is impossible, we have to try.” He still didn’t respond, so I added, “You know she’s worth it.” I’m not sure if it was those words, or the fact that I was touching him, but finally, he gave a small sigh and answered. “If I knew what to do,” he said quietly, “I would have already done it. But… what do you want to know?”
I considered my questions, and asked, “Does the Queen know about the village?”
“I’m sure she does, her rule extends everywhere within the walls, so she is bound to know what is going on there.”
I figured this much, so I asked, “Did she put them there?” He pushed his hair out of his face, and said, “Someone in power did. But, you have to understand, Alexa, that the Queen is not the ultimate ruler of our world. She is high up in the chain, but there are people even she has to answer to.” That wasn’t something I had thought of. “Who?”
He looked at me then, and his voice was fierce when he spoke. “People you do not want to question.” When I just stared at him, he continued, “There is a King, a King whose will everyone must obey. He is considered a sort of savior of our races because after the Warriors were extinguished, he built the cities our people live in, like Two Rivers, and he stopped the reign of the Lamia, who were killing us off in devastating numbers. Everything that goes on is a result of his bidding.”
I considered this for a moment. “But people here are afraid. I know they are. I’ve seen it. Why wouldn’t they revolt if they know that people are being sent to live as blood donors in places like the village?”
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Because they do not know that is what awaits them after they’ve outgrown their use. They know that something is wrong, but they don’t know the severity of the situation. There is magic that keeps them from being able to travel to the village, and there is something that influences their thoughts and moods.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “But I would assume you knew this, since you almost died in your refusal to eat the food.”
I nodded slowly. “So how do you know all of this?”
He hesitated then, and his golden eyes were filled with so much pain I almost told him to forget about it. But this was too important, and I needed answers if I was going to try and help Soraya; which I was. “Please,” I said softly. “Tell me what happened, Kayden.” He was silent for so long that I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to answer. But then, he pulled me to him, and wrapped his arms around me, taking the comfort that only I could give him.
“My brother died in the Arena,” he said. “And about a day after, his pregnant wife just disappeared. I asked e
veryone about her, but no one even seemed to recall him having a family. I searched the entire city for her and I almost drove myself mad obsessing over her disappearance. But, after a few weeks, it became difficult to remember anything about her at all. It felt like every time I tried to picture her face, the memory was just out of my reach. I knew something was wrong, so I did the same thing you did, I stopped consuming the food.” He looked down at me and another smirk crossed his face. “But unlike you, I fed off the animals on the land. I got lost one day while I was hunting in the forest, and felt so disoriented that I didn’t know my way back. That’s when I came upon the village.”
I laid my head against his chest and tried to mentally pull the pain from him, like Akira had done with me. I didn’t know what I was doing though, so I don’t know if it helped.
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
He ran his fingers through my hair, and I closed my eyes and tried not to shiver at his touch. “It’s not your fault,” he said. Then, he tilted my head up so that I was looking in his eyes. “And it’s not your responsibility to do anything either, Alexa. I know you may feel obligated because of what you are, but that doesn’t mean you are required to risk your life. And if you go questioning the ways of the King, that’s exactly what you’ll be doing.” I was sick of hearing that. If no one expected me to do anything, then they wouldn’t be giving me stuff for free and treating me like I was the only one who could help them. Maybe, just maybe, I was. I turned my head so that I was looking down at my hands. “I’ve already made my decision.” Before he could argue again, I asked, “What do they need the blood for?”
Kayden sighed. “That, I don’t know. Our kind owns multiple blood banks around the world that supply our cities with human blood, so I don’t know why they would need it.” I had already figured that out too, so I moved on. “Where can I find this King?” He gripped my hands then, and sat back so that he could look at me. “You can’t.” I pulled back a little. “Yes. I can.”