"I was just showing off." She was ashamed of it now, but back then she'd been so proud of the world she'd stepped into, so different than the one she'd known.
"I figured that, too," Brad said with a shadow of a smile, "but you still knew what those show-off words meant. I barely made it through high school, babe. Had my reasons to stay in as long as I did, but it had nothing to do with learnin'. I knew you were making the break and I didn't want to make it harder than it needed to be on either of us. I always knew someone like me couldn't keep hold of someone like you. Can't say I didn't resent it, but I knew it had to happen."
"Then why did you give Mama the money?" They were already apart by then.
When Brad finally looked at her he wore a sad smile. His eyes were soft with the same look that had always melted Livvy's insides. His voice was wistful. "I'd had my dream. I wanted you to have yours."
"What was your dream, Brad?"
Back then he had nothing but a motorcycle and an old, beat up tow truck.
"Do you have to ask, babe?" His chin tilted down and his eyebrows arched up as he gave her his eyes.
That look was answer enough. She was his dream. It shouldn't have been a surprise, but back then she'd been so selfishly involved with her own dreams, she'd never really thought about his. She raised her hand to brush the curl from his forehead, and he closed his eyes, savoring the gesture. She leaned in to kiss him, but stopped at his words.
"Your turn."
Livvy redirected the lean toward standing up and walking the few steps to the nearest half-wall of stone. She ran her hand over the recently poured cap of concrete where her coat lay against one of the posts. Brad's work, she was sure. Matt's wouldn't be so evenly poured or so meticulously edged.
"Your turn, Livvy."
It would be easy to say it was nothing, a crazy dream, or a misunderstanding as she was beginning to think it was. That's what the old Livvy would have done, but the Livvy she was now had made too many mistakes by avoiding the truth.
"It was something you said, and it tore me apart."
"What did I say that was so awful?" he demanded, not harshly, but confused. "That you were beautiful? That feeling you beneath me, hearing you whisper my name, was enough to make me believe in magic? I said those things, didn't I? Or did I just think them?"
Yes, he'd said those things and more. She'd heard each one, and so had her wolf. They were beautiful words that made her believe the past could be set aside, but that hope was dashed with the last of them.
"You forgot 'Don't get your hopes up'. And how about, 'A friendly fuck. That's all it was. Don't make it into something more.'" When she'd already made it into something so much more.
"I said that?" Brad looked thoroughly confused. He closed his eyes as if trying to remember. "Shit."
"Yep, that's exactly what I felt like." Livvy put her hands on the wall and leaned outward, her eyes on the frozen pond. "The truth is either gonna set you free, or it's gonna hurt like hell. In this case, it hurt like hell. I ran because I couldn't stand the pain, Brad. I knew I deserved it and after what I'd done to you, you deserved to have your revenge, but knowing that only made it hurt more."
"That wasn't revenge, Liv."
She pulled herself in and turned to him. "No? Because it sure felt like it."
"If it was revenge, don't you think I would have stayed awake to enjoy it? If I said those words..."
"Oh, you said them all right."
"If you say I did, then I must have, but I swear they weren't for revenge. They were for me. I'd been thinking them the whole damn night."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Yes! You were high on elixir. Your wolf was hot for sex, itching for it. It's your month and I knew it. I admit it. I played you. I'd never done that to a girl before, never, and there I was, doing it to you."
She could see how much the admission cost him. Before they'd started dating, he'd had a reputation as a player, but she'd never heard a whisper about his taking advantage of any female, human or wolver. Nor had he ever cheated on her. There were too many girls in high school who'd have been happy to report it.
"I had to keep reminding myself it wasn't real," he went on. "I told you I knew from the beginning it couldn't last. I told myself that didn't matter. I could enjoy it while it did, and then move on. I had no idea how hard moving on was going to be, Liv. You had new places, new faces. I had Gilead, and memories of you were everywhere. I wanted one last night to remember before you left me again."
Livvy's wolf began to snort and sneeze, a sure sign it was laughing. It pounced from side to side and rolled to its back, feet kicking in the air. It was the oddest sensation, and it made her want to laugh with the wolf's delight.
Brad loved her. She'd been wrong about so many things, but please God, she couldn't be wrong about this. When he moved to stand beside her, she was sure of it.
"That night was enough to convince me to stay, Brad," she told him quietly. "You didn't take advantage. You only took what was freely offered. Yes, my wolf was hot, but only for you. And yes, I let her take over, because she had the courage that I didn't. But once the Alpha called me home, I was in full control. Her need was my need. Her want was my want. The elixir only eased my conscience for wanting something I didn't deserve."
He looked down at her as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I never meant to hurt you, Liv."
"I never wanted to hurt you either."
"But I did." They said the words together.
"Will you stay?" he asked. "Will you run with me tonight?"
"If you're sure you want me to."
"Want doesn't even come close, and I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
"Me, too," Livvy told him, and with the admission, the emotional burden of her misery lifted. As if the weight of it was a physical one, she suddenly felt lighter. Her shoulders relaxed, the knots in her stomach untangled, the constriction in her chest abated and she felt as if she could breathe again. She turned away to wipe the tears from her eyes before they fell.
Brad stepped up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and tucking them securely beneath her breasts. He drew her back against his chest. Warmth and comfort surrounded her, different from the Mate's, but no less reassuring. He bent his head to brush his cheek against her hair, then continued the turn of his head until his lips reached the sensitive spot behind her ear. When he touched that spot with the tip of his tongue, a shiver of desire coursed through her, and with a little moan of pleasure, she tilted her head to the side to give him better access.
Livvy ran the tips of her fingers along his forearms, acutely aware of the corded muscles beneath the leather jacket. Reaching his scarred and calloused hands, she tugged them from their position at her ribs and placed them firmly against her breasts. Her sigh mixed with his growl of pleasure. That deep rumble sent another shiver through her that ended in a concentration of heat between her legs. Heat intensified as his thumbs played over her nipples. The barrier of her sweater and bra only served to increase her desire for more.
Rising up on her toes and bringing her hands up over her head, Livvy twisted in Brad's arms so that when they were chest to chest, her fingers were free to comb through the black silk of his hair. Such beautiful hair.
Rough hands slid beneath her heavy sweater and the turtleneck she wore beneath it to run along her spine. Her hands moved to the back of his head, as Brad bent his lips to hers. She opened to him, relishing the pressure of his tongue as it danced with hers. Skimming his hands over her ribs, his thumbs again sought her hardened nipples. His play made her ache with need and her heart race in anticipation.
His jacket was open and she slid her hands inside. She tugged the waffle weave shirt he wore from the waistband of his jeans. Warm skin was her reward and she splayed her hands across the rock hard abs she'd exposed. Lifting the shirt with the movement of her hands, her fingers searched along the ridges of his ribs to the solid squares of his pecs.
Their kiss deepened until groaning, Brad broke away. "How much time do we have?"
"About fifteen minutes."
"Not enough, but we'll make it do."
Kissing her again, he moved her to the fireplace wall, where they would be sheltered from approaching headlights. He pressed her back against the stone that had already warmed from the heat from the fire.
"Hey! Hey, Brad, look at me!" Tommyboy called from the pond. He zipped by on a shiny new pair of skates. "These are great. Thanks!"
Brad stepped back from their embrace and waved his hand at the beaming cub. "Looking good there, Tommy," he called and then dropped his forehead to Livvy's shoulder and groaned. He adjusted the bulge in his jeans.
"Sometimes I wish my parents had stopped at one," Livvy grumbled while straightening her sweater. "And why's he thanking you?"
"Because I gave him the damn skates." Brad stretched and shifted his hips. "Don't look at me like that. I got them for him for Christmas. Didn't make sense to keep them when the skating party is tonight."
"Why are you buying Tommyboy Christmas presents?"
"Because he'd be really pissed when everyone else opened theirs?" He laughed at her surprise. "I've bought presents every year since I earned enough money, legal money, to do it."
"For my whole family?"
"And Edith and Edna, old Eban, and Miz Ezzy." He laughed. "Hey, Ezzy thinks I'm a cutie. She told me so."
"Everyone thinks you're a cutie."
He spread his arms wide, showing off his broad chest, narrow hips, and long legs. "What can I say?" He leaned in to kiss her nose. "Yours is the only opinion that counts."
"Hey, Brad! What'd ya think of that?" Tommy called as he whizzed by again.
"That ought to work," Brad called back though he'd been looking at Livvy and not at the cub on the ice. "Your brother has noticed girls," he explained.
"Ah." Livvy nodded. "He's looking for them to notice him."
He was also looking to be fed.
"Aw, come on, what's one little hotdog," Tommy begged when Livvy told him to wait for the others.
"I could use a hotdog, too," the traitor, Brad, agreed. "I tell you what. Maybe your sister'll change her mind if you help me stack that wood. Gotta build those muscles, wolver. Girls love 'em," he added with a wink.
"One pile of wood won't build his muscles," Livvy whispered when the cub took off like a shot.
"No, but it'll get me out of here sooner. Don't know about you, but I'm ready for the Winter Moon Run."
Livvy laughed. "I'll get the hotdogs."
Serving up two hotdogs with the requisite ketchup, mustard, and relish should have been easy and would have been had there been anything to serve them in.
Everything they needed should have been in the car. She'd been sitting here for an hour and never noticed. Donna was going to kill her. Livvy grabbed her keys.
"No buns," she cried as she ran past. "I'll be right back. Don't eat all the hotdogs while I'm gone."
Chapter 22
There were no buns at the hall. The incident at the market had shaken them all and no one had noticed the buns had been left behind. Fortunately, Shelly had given the key to Donna 'just in case'.
She and Harvey were loading skaters into the back of one of the two pickups when Livvy arrived. Matt was settling others in the back of his. Hannah Tilson stood by the tailgate looking as excited as the cubs.
"Wait! I'll go with you," she called as Livvy started back to the car.
There was no time to argue or object. Livvy had already calculated the time it would take to get down to the market and back in time for the run. Fifteen minutes down, five to get the buns... "Good Lord, I'm turning into my mother," she thought.
"You'll be back in time for the run, right?" Matt shouted after them.
"Of course, silly. If I'm not, you can hunt me down." Hannah pulled the seatbelt over her ample chest and wriggled her rear end into the seat like a hen settling in to nest.
Careful of the ruts and bumps, Livvy drove slowly until she reached the road. Carelessness would only cause more delay and she, too, was anxious to get back for the run.
"Matt's a nice guy," Hannah said for no apparent reason.
"Yeah, he is," Livvy agreed. She was thinking of her own nice guy up at the shelter and looking forward to letting her wolf run free. This time, there'd be no arguments with the lovestruck beast.
"Kind of hunky, too, don't you think?"
Matt? Hunky? Livvy'd never really thought about it before, but looking at him through Hannah's eyes, she supposed it was true.
Broader through the shoulders and waist than his slim built father, Matt took after Mama's side of the family. When she was little, Livvy never drew him as a stick figure but as a series of blocks. Even his face was square. He was still made out of blocks, cinder blocks formed from muscle and bone. Not handsome by any stretch of the imagination, he was far from ugly. His sparkling eyes and goofy, little boy grin turned his face into something special, when you weren't thinking of ways to kill him. But that was a biased opinion from someone who loved him.
"I guess he is," she admitted.
"He held the door for me."
Of course he did. Mama had raised him right if not politically correct. But then again, someone like Hannah would see that as special, too. Livvy wouldn't spoil the image by pointing out that he held the door for every female.
"I like him," Hannah chattered on. "My wolf does, too. She thinks he might be a Hannah kind of guy."
God forgive her, but with Hannah's words, a vision of spending Thanksgiving with the Tilsons popped into Livvy's head. It wasn't a pretty picture. Why, oh why, hadn't she kept her mouth shut?
Hannah didn't seem to notice her lack of response. "He's a lot younger than me, though."
And there it was, her out. She could agree with the girl, tell her it was robbing the cradle. It was nonsense, and anyone else would laugh at the idea, but Hannah would believe her.
"Two years is a big deal in high school, Hannah. Two years at our age is nothing at all."
The truth was that Hannah and her brother would make a good match. Matt was hardworking and kind, loyal to and protective of family and pack. He grew up with little and didn't expect much more. From the time he started Kindergarten, Livvy had pulled him through school by his ears. She still remembered the surprised grin on his face when he got the answers right. Mama had taken over the job when Livvy went away and they had Matt's diploma as proof of their success. Her aunt affectionately called him an affable oaf. She wasn't far off the mark.
Matt Dawson saw the world in black and white with very little grey in between. Right was right and wrong was wrong, and his job was to do what was right. And damn, but the more she thought about it, he might be right for someone like Hannah.
"So, should I sleep with him?"
Not going there. No way, no how. She was not taking responsibility for anyone's love life. Look how she'd screwed up her own.
Fortunately, her answer was delayed by their arrival at the market. She ran in, and found the box right where the other supplies had been. Back in the market, Hannah was closing the door to the single stall lavatory at the back. Her nose was wrinkled in disgust.
"Someone trashed the bathroom."
Had the rogues returned to torment Shelly again? If she and Martin didn't talk to the Alpha soon, Livvy swore she'd do it herself. This had to stop.
"Just give me a minute. I'll run and use the one at the Tooth and Fang."
"Hannah, we need to hurry." Her calculations didn't account for bathroom breaks.
"I will, but I have to go now. If I have to pee when I shift, the first thing I do is squat. I can't let Matt see that. Eeuw."
"Why not? He'll be a wolf, too," Livvy said, picking up the box. Being a typical male, he'd probably pee right on top of the spot. She started to say it aloud, but Hannah was already out the door and running for the Tooth and Fang.
She'd put the box on the back
seat and was opening the driver's door when Hannah came hurrying back. She hadn't had time to use the bathroom and Livvy understood why when she saw the three men round the corner on Hannah's heels. They were hassling her and while she didn't look panicked, she quickened her pace.
"Come on, Hannah, get in the car, and let's go," Livvy called, stepping to the front of the car. She thought the vermin might stop their harassment if they knew someone was watching.
She was wrong. One of the men ran forward, calling out in a coarse voice to the others. "Hey, look. It's Sec's old bitch. Didn't I tell you I saw her? How you doin', fresh meat?"
She recognized the hoarse voice immediately as the scarred rogue from the market. As soon as she realized who it was, Livvy should have gotten back in the car and locked the doors. She knew that, but the two men with Hannah had grabbed the girl's arms. She was trapped and Livvy couldn't leave her to contend with this alone.
"We're from Gilead. We're off limits," she shouted. "Let her go." Gilead pack had always been off limits to the band of rogues across the road.
It was another mistake and she knew it as soon as the words left her mouth. If Gilead was still off limits, they never would have stolen from Martin's Market.
"Not any more you aren't. Gilead's just another pack of chickens waiting to be plucked." He looked her up and down and then, with the speed of a striking snake, he yanked her away from the car and threw his arms around her waist, effectively pinioning her arms. Livvy struggled against the confining embrace. Her captor strengthened his hold. Despite her thrashing head, he lowered his head and licked her neck.
"I always wondered what the attraction was. Guess it's my turn to find out."
Hannah started to scream. One of the rogues holding her slammed his free fist into her face hard enough that her head snapped back.
"No! Stop!" Livvy yelled. They did, but not because of her protest. A pickup truck came around the corner of the parking lot from the front of the Tooth and Fang. Livvy took in a breath, ready to scream and willing to risk her own punch to the face. Surely the driver would notice the woman on the ground holding her face and the other screaming for help.
Shifter's Magic (The Wolvers Book 8) Page 23