by Freya Barker
I smile at her vehemence. She’s always been fierce in her protection of me and the kids, but apparently Syd’s opened up an entire new level of momma bear.
“Nothing Syd couldn’t handle single-handedly,” I say, stroking my hand along Syd’s spine. “I went for Denise, but Syd here brought the truth to Cindy; at least I hope so.”
“As awful as she’s been—and I’m not making any excuses for her—I think the woman is scared and clawing at anything coming her way.” She shrugs her shoulders before continuing. “I just held up a picture of what the future might look like if she continues this way. Don’t know if it does any good. I hope so for the sake of the kids, but only time will tell, but in the meantime, I won’t hold my breath.”
“I take it they saw the newspaper and came to rub it in?” Viv offers.
“Something like that. I’ve gotta say, having those two teaming up threw me for a minute,” I admit.
“I bet ya it was Denise seeking Cindy out, trying to get back at you for tossing her ass to the curb. Vindictive cow was always panting after you, trying to get your attention. Well she got it, but not the way she’d hoped for.” Viv chuckles as Syd slips away from me, disappearing into the hallway behind the bar.
“You know she’s the best thing, aside from the kids, that’s happened to you, right?” she says, watching Syd’s retreat.
“Believe me, I know.”
Been a busy day. After the earlier confrontation outside, the afternoon and evening swallowed us up. A surprise visit from a few guys from my team to ‘christen’ the patio livened up the place, and the mild evening had the crowd out there linger longer than normal.
I love the sound of laughter bouncing over the water, and there was a lot of laughing going on tonight.
Syd stayed in the kitchen after one of the patrons asked her if he should be worried that she’s the one serving him food. Syd stood frozen, gaping at the man. Viv, who’d been at the next booth with a customer, immediately intervened, telling the guy in no uncertain terms that if he couldn’t keep his poor taste in jokes to himself, he could take a hike. Muttering apologies to Syd, the guy quietly finished his meal and left, leaving a massive tip, just for her.
Of course they didn’t tell me until after he’d left, knowing full well I’d have ripped him a new one.
After spending a bit of time with my teammates on the patio after the dinner rush died down, I head inside to look for Syd. I haven’t seen her for the last hour or so.
“Where’s Syd?” I ask Viv who’s loading the dishwasher in the kitchen. Dino left after closing the kitchen at ten so there was no one else there.
“Fell asleep with her head on the kitchen table a while ago. Told her to go lay down upstairs until you were ready to go.” I walk over and sling my arm around Viv’s shoulders, giving her a kiss to the side of her head.
“Thanks for picking up the slack and looking after my girl.”
Viv snickers as she pushes me off her. “You kidding me? I’ll do anything for the woman that keeps your ass happy. Makes my days a hell of a lot easier.”
Smartass.
But with a lighter feeling in my chest than this day warrants, I head upstairs. By the looks of things, Syd never made it to the bed, laying curled up on the couch, fast asleep.
“Hey baby, time to go home.” I slip my hands under her knees and around her waist, hoisting her still too light frame in my arms and carry her downstairs.
“He looks so young,” Syd says, looking down at Dexter who’s sprawled out in his bed. Asleep most of the way home, she insists on walking in under her own steam. Showing Mrs. Danzel out, I lock up and head upstairs after her, finding her in Dex’s bedroom.
“Hard to believe he’s nine years old; ten next week,” I agree with her, sliding a hand up her spine and around her neck.
“I see him when I dream.”
“What do you mean?”
“Each time I dream of Daniel, he looks more and more like Dexter,” she whispers,
I guide her gently out of the room, closing the door behind us. Once in our bedroom I push her back to sit on the bed, kneeling before her. When she lifts her eyes I see pain so deep, I can feel it. “I’m losing him, Gunnar. The only photo I had of him is long gone and when I try to picture his face, more often than not, Dexter’s is the one who fills my vision. I’m scared ...”
She looks so fucking broken. I’m afraid to touch her until she throws herself in my arms.
Sitting on the floor with Syd in my arms, breaking a little with every sob from her body, I vow to find a way so she will never forget her boy.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Syd
“Are you baking me a cake?”
Dexter’s excitement over his upcoming birthday party is infectious and he has me smiling as he hops from one leg to another in front of me.
“Do you need to pee?” I ask him, my eyebrows raised.
“Nuhuh. So are you?”
“Maybe...” I tease him, ruffling his hair. I never noticed how tall he really is. Takes after his father who must be at least six-three or four. My five foot two frame certainly won’t be able to stand up to the genes Dex carries for long. For now though, I can still ruffle his hair to my amusement and his irritation.
“Syd, I need cake. The guys are coming and they’re gonna want cake too.”
“Are you whining?” Gunnar’s deep voice comes from the doorway. “Because you know we don’t listen to whiners here, right kid?”
The guilty little shrug he gives his father makes me want to chuckle, but I hold it in. Attitude is rampant with Emmy stumbling into puberty and Dex flexing his male dominant muscles.
“Go to the bathroom and pee, Dex. You’re about to blow a leak.”
It’s all it takes to break the hint of tension in the kitchen and sends Dex snickering at his father’s choice of words off to the bathroom, but not before bumping fists with him first.
“Nice language,” I taunt Gunnar when Dex is out of hearing range.
He steps into me and slides his arms around my waist, sliding his hands down to cup my ass.
“Man talk. You wouldn’t understand,” he says with a sparkle in his eyes, making me shake my head as he lowers his mouth to my neck, sucking on the tender skin.
“Kids might come in,” I point out rather breathlessly. “You have your mouth on my neck, your hands on my ass. I—“ My words are cut short when Gunnar’s mouth slides over mine, tugging at my lower lip with his teeth and creating instant havoc on my clean panties. His tongue parts my lips and claims my mouth thoroughly before leaving me breathless and panting.
“I like having my hands on your ass. Like the way it’s starting to fill my hands more each day,” he growls in my neck where he’s returned to his explorations. His hands slide from my ass up the small of my back where one holds me pressed against him, his arousal prominent against my belly, and the other slips around the front and up to lift the weight of my breast. “These too. So fucking gorgeous. I could feast on you all day.” Flicking his thumb over my nipple has me release a shuddering breath.
There’s nothing I’d like to do more in this moment than climb him like a monkey, but a voice calling from the front door puts a quick end to that fantasy.
“Dad! We gotta go!”
“Fuck. Gotta get the kids to school. You ready?” he asks, leaning his forehead against mine. Still rather incoherent, I simply nod.
After dropping the kids off at their respective schools, we hit a Denny’s not too far from Viv’s place. I’ve not been to her apartment yet and rather than having her drive all the way to Gunnar’s house to pick me up, he suggested taking me for breakfast and then dropping me off for our shopping spree. Gunnar offered to get the ingredients for the double chocolate cake I’m planning to make tomorrow morning and he’s picking up the rest of the party stuff as well. My job is to find the game Dex has been after. Apparently, Best Buy has it in stock so I’ll pick it up before tackling Macy’s, Sears, and the Po
ttery Barn.
“Two eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries and rye toast, please.” Gunnar places his order after I’ve already placed mine for waffles and fruit. “Oh, and can you bring us some more coffee?” he asks of the tired looking waitress who says nothing but snaps her chewing gum in response.
“Good thing they serve my kind of comfort food, ‘cause that waitress isn’t making me feel warm and fuzzy right now,” he quips, making me laugh. Immediately he slides his hand across the table and grabs mine. “How are you doing, Bird?”
He doesn’t have to explain, I know he’s talking about my breakdown before the weekend. Saturday came and went in a flurry of activity, with only a few questions about the newspaper article from loyal patrons. By Sunday we noticed a nominal decline in business but that could have had something to do with the open mic night at b.good’s, a local eatery that runs these evenings once a week during the summer.
All in all, I’ve been busy enough not to wallow in my momentary depression, but the fear remains.
“Not too bad. I don’t want to, but I can’t help thinking about him,” I look at him, hoping for understanding.
“Nor would I want you to,” Gunnar smiles reassuringly. “Would you consider contacting your family to see if they would send you a picture?”
The moment he utters family has me immediately shaking my head no.
“I don’t want them to destroy what I’ve found. Don’t want their accusations in my face.”
Squeezing my hand, he draws my attention. “I’d never let that happen. You know that, right?” He waits for my confirming nod before he goes on. “Maybe your sister? Just think about it.”
Just then the waitress is back with our orders, saving me from a response, but all through breakfast, I’m thinking about my sister and how much I miss her. I’m not sure she’d even recognize who I am now, or what she’d do if she did.
Gunnar tries to lift my spirits with questions about my pending shopping trip and pushes a credit card my way.
“I’m not taking that,” I tell him firmly. “Bad enough you won’t let me contribute to the household, but I’m not letting you pay for my shopping. I’ve hardly had opportunity to spend the money I earn by working for you. It just doesn’t seem right to me.”
After a few futile attempts at making me change my mind, Gunnar tucks his card in his wallet and pulls me out of the booth, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“Just wanna make it clear that it’s only because I know you value your independence, I’ll let you get away with this,” he mumbles in my ear. I can’t help it, I laugh. Typical guy to concede defeat only to make it into some magnanimous gesture. His face shows irritation, but his eyes sparkle with amusement.
“How many sheets do I need for one bed?” Viv has been dragging me from store to store with a Starbucks clutched in her hand. I swear she could’ve done without the added caffeine; the woman is tireless.
“Only one more. You need sexy sheets too. The other sets are great for daily use but you need a set that screams ‘hot night ahead.’” She dons a wicked smile and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Have you met Gunnar?” I ask her. “Not like old ratty sheets would stop the man if he has a mind to get frisky. He’s happy with the kitchen counter.”
“Okay, TMI,” she looks at me horrified. “I’ve eaten at that counter. Regularly have my coffee there. Besides, the man is like another brother, I can’t even... Ewww!”
Laughing, I elbow her in the arm. “You started it.”
“Touché. I’m done discussing your sex life. Let’s find some throw pillows.” She slips her arm in mine and pulls me toward the Pottery Barn where we spend another hour looking at accessories and knick-knacks. Never an ardent shopper, Viv’s enthusiasm has me enjoying myself thoroughly. Before I realize it, it’s already four in the afternoon.
“We’ve gotta go,” I blurt out, getting a glimpse of the large clock on the wall at Victoria’s Secret where Viv dragged me for some sexy undies. Her words, not mine. I’ve always been quite happy with my comfortable cotton panties. Mostly because I never felt sexy enough to wear anything else, but I have to admit, with the blatant interest Gunnar examines my body, I can’t wait to see the effect sexy underwear will have on him.
Viv follows my eyes to the clock, quickly grabs the three sets I’d taken into the dressing room with me and makes a beeline for the register.
“Wait! Where are you going?” I try to stop her, but only have one leg in my jeans. By the time I’m dressed, she’s standing by the exit with a triumphant smile on her face, and a fat Victoria’s Secret bag in her hand.
“Don’t even...” she stops me with a raised hand when I open my mouth to protest. “You will let me do this. Just think of it as a belated birthday present for Gunnar. I’m sure he’ll be grateful.” She raises one eyebrow, daring me to counter. The best thing I can come up with is to stick my tongue out at her, realizing arguing is futile. She throws her head back and laughs, tugging my arm through hers and pulling me from the store.
Half an hour later, we pull into the driveway at Gunnar’s. Or maybe I should start calling it our house? After all, the volume of bags Viv pulls out of the trunk certainly looks like I’m settling in. I’m suddenly embarrassed. Is it too much? Did I go overboard? But before I have a chance to worry myself to tears, two strong arms slide around me from behind and Gunnar whispers in my ear. “Have fun?”
I nod my head and can’t stop the smile from splitting my face almost in half. He chuckles, turning me around in his arms and laying a hot and heavy kiss on me right in the driveway.
“Enough!” Viv’s voice breaks us apart. “I’ve had to suffer through Victoria’s Secret with her, knowing your greedy eyes would be appreciative,” she points at Gunnar, “but I could do without the mouth sex in front of the house.” With a wink at me, she saunters through the door, loaded down with shopping bags.
“Victoria’s Secret?” Gunnar growls.
I roll my eyes at him. “Really? You’re that easy?”
“Only when it comes to you, Bird. Only when it comes to you.”
To my surprise, Gunnar insists on cooking that night and invites Viv to stick around. After a tasty meal of grilled kebabs with chicken and vegetables—a seasonal debut for the big BBQ out on the deck—we’re sitting out back with sweaters on against the evening chill, sipping a cup of decaf.
“Did you manage to find Dex’s birthday present?” Gunnar asks after checking to make sure Dex is inside and out of earshot.
“I did and I got him some other stuff too.”
“You didn’t have to do that, babe,” Gunnar squeezes my hand.
“I had to hold her back from getting presents for Emmy as well,” Viv pipes up. The traitor. “As it is, she has a few things for her too.”
“I wanted to do something for her because she was so disappointed today she couldn’t come,” I say defensively. “As for the gifts for Dex, I’m just happy I get to be part of his birthday. That’s all. Been so long I’ve been able to shop for a birthday. It felt good.” I shrug my shoulders.
When I look up, Gunnar wears a soft smile and Viv has tears in her eyes. Immediately she excuses herself, stating she has to get a good night’s sleep in if she’s gonna pick up our slack at The Skipper tomorrow. I walk her to the car when she swings around and grabs me in a tight hug.
“I’m so fucking grateful for the day you came into all of our lives. I never was one for an active social life or had any girlfriends, but I’m grateful to have found one in you.”
With a kiss on my cheek, she disappears into her car and takes off, leaving me gazing after her. Me too,I wanted to say, but she’s already gone.
Gunnar is waiting for me on the front step. “You okay?” he wants to know. “I...she...yes, I’m okay. She just took off so fast I never had a chance to properly thank her for today.” I stammer. Guiding me inside, Gunnar just grunts in response.
It takes a bit of coaxing, but eventually we jointly manag
e to get the kids upstairs, seeing as tomorrow is a regular school day, despite the fact it’s Dex’s tenth birthday. The only thing that finally convinces them to go is my promise there will be cake for the party. That’s the only thing I’m willing to commit to since I’m not quite sure whether the plans I have for it will pan out. If I don’t make any promises, there can’t be any disappointments if I end up having to go to the store to grab a simple slab.
The plan is to bake a cake and then turn it into the shape of Batman’s sign. I contemplated doing the Batmobile, but after looking at a complicated diagram online, I quickly changed my mind and opted for a simple logo. I decided on Batman because of one of the first conversations he and I had. Gunnar had picked up all the ingredients for baking and Viv and I stopped in at a Michaels craft store close to the mall for decorating supplies. I’m not even sure I can do this. I mean, I’ve done baking before, but remembering back, I never really did a birthday cake. I used to simply order one. The prospect of doing it myself is something I look forward to. But it’s been hell not to spill the beans.
“Can you come tuck me in?” Dex calls from his room and I make my way over, finding him already in bed with his sheets pulled up to his chin.
“Excited?” I ask him and he furiously nods his head in response, making me chuckle before his little face turns serious.
“Syd? Do you think mom will come?”
“Honey, I’m sure she’s gonna do her best to be here or at least call you. Dad left her a message reminding her over the weekend, but even if for whatever reason she isn’t able to, we’ll still have a great time and I’m positive your mom will make it up to you on some other day.”
God, I hope I’m not lying to the kid. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Cindy’s gonna pull her head out of her ass and give the kids the attention they are due.
Dexter pulls his arms from under the covers and holds them out to me, waiting for a hug, which I gladly give him.
“Are we good, Dex?” I ask him carefully and with his arms still wrapped around my neck, he mumbles, “We’re good,” before allowing me to pull back from his embrace.