“Maybe a little,” said Olivia. “But I always say if it’s gonna make Jesus chuckle, then it’s okay. What about you, Ian? What are you going to build?”
“Well…I thought I was going to build a gingerbread house, but clearly this group is much more advanced. I’ll think I’ll build my office tower.”
“What about you, Mom? What are you going to build?”
“My favorite thing, of course,” said Olivia. “My own house and my garden.”
The three spent the next two hours bent over the table in what looked like an intense surgical procedure. Kate used shredded wheat for the straw in her manger; Ian used black licorice bites for all of the windows on his office tower, and Olivia used all sorts of sprinkles to represent the different flowers she had growing outside. When they had finished building their masterpieces, Olivia set them up on the mantle and they all stood back to admire their work.
“Nice job, kids,” said Olivia, looking proudly at the finished product.
“This was fun!” exclaimed Ian.
“It really was,” said Kate, giggling as she wiped some frosting off of Ian’s forehead with her thumb.
“That’s what you get when you come to the Henry household, dear,” said Olivia.
“Fun? Or frosting on my face?”
“Both.”
~~~~~
“Okay Ian, who was the vice president under Lyndon Johnson?”
“Kate, I do not care. Can we please stop studying? Let’s go out and do something.”
“Hubert Humphrey. You can thank me when that question is on your test and you get it right.” She was lying on Ian’s bed in his dorm room with her head hanging off the side and feet up on the wall.
“Fine,” said Ian from his seat at his desk just next to the bed. “Thank you, once again for helping me study. But it’s so nice outside. Can we please put away those flashcards and go out? I’m starving.”
“Works for me!” she said, hopping up from the bed. “You don’t actually think that I enjoy sitting here quizzing you for your history final, do you?” She suddenly fell onto both knees dramatically. “I do it because I believe in you, Ian,” she said with such intensity that he immediately knew that she was poking fun at him. “The world needs you as a lawyer. It will positively crumble without you. And besides, I can’t wait for all of the nice presents you’re going to buy for me on your lawyer’s salary.”
“Get up, you goofball,” he said, sticking out his hand to help her up from the floor. “Let’s go out for Italian food. I know a place downtown that gives a student discount and has an outdoor patio.”
Kate and Ian jumped into Ian’s old car and set off for the restaurant. Before long they were seated and enjoying the perfect late April weather and some french bread dipped in olive oil.
“So what are your plans for the summer?”
“Well, I’ve gone home for the last two summers, but I think I’m going to try something a little different this year. Rick’s parents own this beach house over in Virginia Beach, and Amy said that her parents are going to let her and Rick use it for the whole summer. Apparently it’s a pretty big house, so they’ve invited me to spend the summer there. There’s another girl that Amy knows from home, Brooke, and she’s coming too. Which I’m thankful for. I don’t think I could handle a whole summer with just me and the newlyweds.” Kate made a gagging noise.
“So you’re just going to bum around at the beach all summer? Must be nice.”
“Well I’ll get a job, of course! I’m sure lots of places will be hiring seasonal help. But yes, I plan to do plenty of bumming around. It’s our last summer before we are really and truly adults. Can you believe that?”
“I don’t think I’ll feel like an adult until I’m done with law school.”
“You’ve got everything all lined up for you internship this summer?”
“Yes, I can’t wait! I can’t believe I’ll actually be interning for a Congressman.”
She put down the forkful of pasta she was holding and looked at Ian. “You’re really going places, Ian Rutherford. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks. I probably don’t say it often enough, but your encouragement means so much to me. You’re such a big support to me.”
“What can I say? You’re the smartest person I know, and I believe in you.”
Ian smiled and sighed. “Okay fine, we can go back to the dorm for more history flashcards.”
“Good decision. Because not only do I believe in you, but I believe that you are not ready for this final yet!” she said.
Ian picked up the check, asked Kate for fourteen dollars to cover her part of the meal, and the friends resumed their earlier positions in Ian’s room to continue their study session.
~~~~~
“Are you happy?” asked Ian, staring at Kate’s face glowing in the light of the crackling fire. They were sitting on the couch, not paying much attention to A Christmas Story that was playing on television, but enjoying their giant mugs of hot chocolate and the quiet of this Christmas evening. Her legs were slung over Ian’s lap, and her feet were adorned with brand new reindeer socks, complete with jingle bells. She had always had a hard time keeping her feet still, and he chuckled every time she wiggled her feet and her socks made noise.
“I am. I really am. This was the best Christmas I’ve had in a long time. I love my mom to pieces, but it’s been so nice to have someone else here to share it with. I could tell she was just tickled by how much you enjoyed building gingerbread houses with us.”
“Good.” Ian smiled and took a long drink from his mug. “I like spending time with you and your mom. Your mom is a hoot!”
“You bet I am!” said Olivia, who had suddenly entered the room.
Ian chuckled and looked at his watch. “Well ladies, I know it’s Christmas, but I’d like to answer a few work emails before I go to bed. I’ll be in the guest room on my computer for a while. Feel free to gossip about me.”
“Like we needed your permission to do that,” said Kate, lifting her legs off of his lap.
Olivia took Ian’s spot on the couch while Ian set off down the hall. “I think this is the first time we’ve been alone since he got here,” said Olivia. “You two have been attached at the hip.”
“I really like him, Mom. He’s a good man. I mean, can you believe he flew all the way out here at a moment’s notice?”
“He’s a wonderful man, Katie. I’ve always known that. He’s always been an amazing friend to you. And I would absolutely love to see the two of you end up together.” Olivia smoothed her daughter’s hair. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can.”
“Is there any passion between you?”
“Mom!” cried Kate, looking embarrassed. “What kind of question is that?”
“Oh don’t be such a ninny. You know what I mean. I know the two of you have never kissed – at least, that’s what you told me” (Kate shook her head quickly to confirm her mother’s statement), “but that’s not what I mean by passion. I know your father has been gone a long time, sweetie, but there was a time when we were very much in love. Passionately in love. We never wanted to spend a second apart. I remember one time your father snuck out of his house when we were just teenagers to come knock on my window just to kiss me goodnight. He said he wouldn’t have been able to make it through the night without seeing me. I know it all sounds very dramatic, but that kind of zealous love is out there. And I want that for you. I want someone who would do anything just to be with you.”
“Well, Ian flew across the country. Don’t you think that counts?”
“That’s for you to decide, darling.” With that, Olivia kissed her daughter on the forehead and headed off to bed.
~~~~~
Ian awoke early the next morning and padded down the hall towards the kitchen in search of coffee. To his surprise, Olivia was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine and sipping hot tea.
“You’re up early, dear,” said Oli
via.
“I have to head off to the airport in a couple of hours, so I thought I’d get up and make the most of the time I have left here. Have I thanked you yet for your amazing hospitality?” Ian poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a muffin before joining Olivia at the table. “You’ve really made me feel at home here.”
“It’s my pleasure. Any friend of Kate’s is always welcome in my home.”
They both sipped in silence for several minutes and enjoyed the beautiful sunrise over the garden. “So Kate tells me you both had a good time with your folks for Thanksgiving.”
“Oh my goodness, we had the best time. My parents were absolutely raving over the food, especially the broccoli puff.” Olivia smiled at the mention of one of her favorite recipes, remembering the first time she taught her daughter how to make it. “Yes, Kate was amazing,” he said.
“My girl is a treasure. And she thinks very highly of you, Ian. So do I.” Olivia put down her cup and looked him directly in the eyes. “If my husband were still around, I think this would be the appropriate time for him to have a man to man talk with you. I know I can’t step into that role, but understand that my number one priority is protecting my daughter. I know the two of you have gotten very close, and I want you to treat her right, Ian. That’s all I can ask of you. Just treat her right.”
Ian nodded and looked down into his cup of coffee. “I’m trying,” he said softly.
“If you’re honest with yourself and with her, then you won’t make the wrong decision.”
“That’s good advice. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, Olivia. I mean that. I’m just trying to figure everything out.”
“I know, dear. I know you’ll make the right choice.”
Chapter 8
Dear Mom,
I miss you! It was so great to spend a whole week with you last month. I’m wearing the pearl earrings that you gave me. I know I told you that I don’t need anything and that you shouldn’t spend lots of money on me for Christmas, but I’m definitely glad you decided to splurge this time around. The earrings are so gorgeous.
I also wanted to thank you for being so welcoming to Ian. I was just as shocked as you to see him show up at the house on Christmas Eve, but you made him feel at home right away and he keeps talking about what a wonderful time he had. I was sad that he had to leave the day after Christmas, but he had to get back to work. Maybe I’ll get him to stop being such a workaholic. Maybe.
I know you’re wondering what is happening between us, and thank you so much for not pressing me for too much information. I so wish that I could answer that question. He’s such a good man, Mom. He’s kind to me and he treats me so well. The other night he even said “I love you” when he hung up the phone. Well, technically he said “love ya,” but for Ian that’s getting somewhere. I think. I hope that one of these days (soon!) he’ll finally be able to break free from whatever has been holding him back and admit that we should be together.
Darren always makes fun of Ian and me and calls us an old married couple. He’s right; we kind of do act like one. I love having someone who I can be so comfortable around. I really think he’s the one, Mom.
All my love, Kate
~~~~~
Kate looked over her glass of sweet tea and watched Ian in the kitchen doing the dishes after dinner. She had driven up to Raleigh on her day off to catch a movie with Ian. Afterwards they went back to his apartment where Kate cooked while Ian squeezed in a quick half hour of work.
The moment seemed so perfect, so natural. Here she was with a man who knew her deeply. He had seen her ups and her downs, and had been a consistent presence in her life through it all. He knew her insecurities, her faults, and her fears, and he loved her just the same. She was overwhelmed with a sense of comfort.
“Ian?” she whispered.
Ian turned around, his glasses slightly fogged from the steam of the hot water, and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He stood there, barefoot, with pruny hands and a dish towel slung over his shoulder, and she couldn’t keep her feelings inside for another moment.
“What’s…what’s going on between us?” said Kate softly.
“Between us?” said Ian. She couldn’t read his expression, so she bravely continued on.
“Look, we’ve known each other a long time. We know everything about each other. But I’m a single woman. You’re a single man. If anyone was to look at our relationship from the outside in they would think that we’re dating. I mean – you spent Christmas with me and my mother. We cooked Thanksgiving dinner for your family. We’ve spent hours since you moved here shopping and laughing and having deep conversations, and yet…we’re not together.”
There was a long silence as Ian looked intently at Kate. He then put the dish towel on the counter and walked slowly into the living room where she sat. She was curled up in the very leather chair that she had sprawled out over the backseats and the trunk of Ian’s car to hold onto for dear life because he forgot to bring rope to the furniture store. He paused to squeeze Kate’s shoulder, then walked past her and sat on the couch.
“Kate…oh, Kate. You know I love you, right?” Ian said. He looked at her with such respect and warmth.
“Of course I do,” she replied.
“I am so thankful to have you in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as comfortable or as open to another person as I am with you. I know you care about me, and how I grow in my life and in my faith, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. You’ve been such a support and encouragement to me. I love spending time with you more than anything in the world.”
He then opened his mouth to continue, and Kate sensed a moment of hesitation.
“But?” she asked.
“But…” Ian sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I just don’t think we were meant to be together.”
Kate stared down at the rug that she had worn like a toga in the store and tried to form a response. She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Before she could find the words, Ian continued, his expression pained.
“I knew this conversation was coming. As our time together became more frequent, I started wondering if you would begin to question my intentions.”
“Then why didn’t you say anything to me?” asked Kate sharply.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I love spending time with you and I didn’t want it to end. Maybe I thought it would all blow over. Maybe I was just trying to figure things out. Maybe…I don’t know…” Ian trailed off to a whisper.
She stood up from her perch on the chair and faced Ian square on. “Maybe it’s because you’re a coward. Yes, a coward,” she repeated upon seeing the shocked look on his face. “You knew how I felt. You knew that every time we cooked dinner together or spent an afternoon reading on the patio or spent an evening on this very floor surrounded by screws and pegs and impossible to understand instructions that I was getting closer to you. And then – you surprise me at Christmas with a visit to California so my mom and I wouldn’t have to be alone! And now you have the nerve to stand there and tell me that you don’t think we should be together?”
Kate took a step towards Ian, tears in her eyes.
“I don’t know how to be this close to someone and not want more. I’m just not built that way.”
She grabbed her purse and turned towards the door. She put her hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and turned back around to face Ian, who was now standing in the middle of the living room looking uncomfortable.
“I am going to make an amazing companion to some man out there. You’ll never know how much I could have loved you, Ian.”
She walked out the door and let it close behind her. How symbolic, she thought. She caught herself as she almost tripped over the stone frog. “Augh! Goodbye, Bernard!”
Kate drove home with tears streaming down her face. She was burdened with loss and disappointment, and crawled into her bed without bothe
ring to change into her pajamas. It wasn’t the first time that she cried herself to sleep. Nor would it be the last.
Chapter 9
“Thanks so much for watching the kids,” said Amy as she headed out the door of Kate’s apartment. “I don’t think Rick and I have been out on a date in months.”
“I’m happy to do it,” replied Kate, helping Todd take off his jacket. “I’ve been looking forward to hanging out with these guys all day.”
“That includes me, right?” came a voice from the kitchen.
“Yes, Darren, it of course includes you,” said Kate as she rolled her eyes at Amy. Darren loved Parker and Todd just as much as Kate did, and he had volunteered to come over and help her baby-sit. The boys loved Darren, too. He would always tickle them until they couldn’t stand it anymore and spin them around by their ankles before launching them onto the couch. Kate left the roughhousing to Darren and focused her energies on setting up art supplies for the kids on the dining room table. She could hear Darren entertaining the kids with his legendary spontaneous poetry.
“Oh Todd, he’s a silly silly boy,
He has a fire truck as a toy,
He’s short like a midget,
Age four is his digit,
When I tickle him he squeals with joy!”
“Do one about me! Do one about me!” begged Parker.
“There once was a young boy named Parker,
His hair looks like Todd’s, only darker,
He’s a real fast runner,
He’s fun, but I’m funner-”
“Now draw me a picture with this marker!” said Kate, bursting into the room with a big green pen in her hand. “Come on kids, I’ve got paper and pens all set up for you.”
Parker and Todd scurried off to get started on creations that would no doubt soon be hanging on the refrigerator.
“I’m going to draw our family,” declared Todd.
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