by Drea Stein
“There’s no reason we can’t be polite to one another.” His voice was steady.
“Yes, of course,” she managed to stammer, then added, “thank you.”
She waited, but there was nothing but an awkward silence stretching between them. Quickly, before she could embarrass herself further, she let herself into her apartment, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, wondering why she had thought, even for a moment, that he might have wanted to kiss her, and that against all reason, she had wanted him to.
She was just about to move, think about undressing, getting into something comfortable, maybe make a cup of tea, when there was a quiet knock at her door.
Without bothering to look through the peephole, she opened it and there he stood, a sudden burst of moonlight tipping his blond hair silver.
“Yes?”
“I’m not always such a gentleman, Lynn,” he said. And he moved in quickly, taking her face in her hands, his lips coming down on hers. It was as if an electric current sprang between them and she felt herself lifted up off her toes and into him, her arms coming around his shoulders as she pulled herself into him.
It seemed to go on forever as they hungrily devoured each other. She heard a sound, a wordless moan, and realized that it must have come from her.
All too soon, he broke free from her, took a step back, his hand firmly at his sides.
“Have a good night,” he said. Then turned on his heel and walked to his own door and was gone.
Shocked, Lynn held the door open just a moment longer and then stepped back, shut it, and sunk to the floor, truly wondering what had just happened and how she was ever going to be able to sleep with her body wound up and as tingly as a kid with the chicken pox.
Chapter 24
Jackson paced restlessly in his apartment, wondering just what he’d done, trying to assess just where his feelings were going. He stopped, looking out the window at the harbor. The moon was out now, uncovered by the clouds, and it left a glittering quicksilver trail across the surface, which in the dark, looked still, heavy as if all of Queensbay Harbor was a cauldron of molten silver.
He hadn’t meant to kiss her. Or had he? He rubbed his hand through his hair, knowing that he was lying to himself. Ok, so he had meant to kiss her, knowing that if he left and then came back it would definitely unsettle her. And he wanted her unsettled, right? He wanted to know that she was lying awake at night thinking about him. But why? She wasn’t his type. He didn’t have a type, couldn’t have a type. He wanted no strings attached. He liked women who were taller, blonder. Not as enthusiastic. Detached. He remembered how passionately she had spoken about the clinic. He couldn’t let himself become involved. He couldn’t ever feel again.
He had sworn after Ashley that he wouldn’t let his guard down, that he wouldn’t let himself care about anyone. It had hurt too much, pushed him too close to the edge. He was willing to offer his bed, companionship, but nothing more. Sure he’d been attracted to women, he wasn’t a monk, after all, but he hadn’t felt a powerful need for anyone, not like with Lynn. And she had answered with every fiber of her body, to that kiss. No, this was not good at all.
He sat down on the couch, suddenly tired. He looked at his hands. He hadn’t landed a punch in a long time against anything more than a training bag. Bode had looked tough, all thick head and muscle, but that only meant he had fallen harder.
There had been a certain satisfaction in knocking the guy down, Jackson thought. He may not have wanted to get tangled up with a woman, but when she said no, you had to respect that. And Lynn had been making it clear that she wasn’t interested in a casual, physical acquaintance. Nope, Bode had deserved just what he’d gotten.
And Lynn? She didn’t deserve him, not if she really cared. And Jackson had a feeling she could be the type of woman who cared, very, very much.
Chapter 25
It did rain the next day. Lynn awoke early, to the soft patter of rain on the roof. From her window, she could see only gray, as if the whole of Queensbay was covered in a soft blanket. The rain, cloud, and mist hovered over the harbor so that the edges of the docks were ghostly outlines and the hills and bluffs that ringed the town were invisible.
She had the day off. She had been excited for it, but now it stretched in front of her, empty, and she didn’t know what to with herself.
She could unpack some more boxes, hang some pictures up on the wall, but she only had one, a print Phoebe had given her. Maybe she should go shopping. There was a gallery or two in town with some affordable photographs. She could browse through their racks, pick up a modest purchase, treat herself to a carbohydrate-heavy lunch at The Golden Pear, maybe hit the library and check out a book she could read.
All of that sounded appealing, except for the weather and her mood, which matched it perfectly. Gray-blue. Lynn was not a melancholy person and she didn’t quite know what to do with the feeling that made every action an effort. She rolled back on her pillows and stared up at her white ceiling. What had she been thinking agreeing to a date with Bode? She should have known he’d only be interested in sex. Ok, so maybe that’s all she had thought she was interested in. But not in the first hour! He had hadn’t even offered to buy her dinner, just a beer and a bowl of free mixed nuts. But at least he had been honest. An asshole but an honest one. She had gone on the date knowing full well that Bode wasn’t her type. And that perhaps his only use to her was to make Jackson jealous.
Last night she had been kissed twice, which was twice more than she had been kissed in about two years. And Jackson’s kiss had been by far the better one. She hadn’t been kissed like that in a long, long time—if ever. It had been amazing: all her senses on overload, every nerve-ending exploding. Not even her first one with Todd Hammerschmitt, her eighth-grade boyfriend for all of two weeks, could compare. He too had needed something. Her science homework. After the big test, he had dumped her for Jessie Unger. Lynn sighed.
No, Jackson’s kiss had made her knees go weak, her heart clench and then thump like a bass drum. There had been a roaring in her ears and she had felt every nerve in her body strung tight. It had been amazing. But it was just a kiss. She shouldn’t read too much into it. Especially not from someone who was as emotionally damaged as he was supposed to be. He was the definition of fixer upper, and she needed to stay away.
But he had rescued her and walked her home. Had he thought he deserved a kiss for his knight in shining armor routine? She pulled the pillow up over her head and mouthed a silent scream into it. Just because she thought he was cute—there she had admitted it—there was no reason to start building up a fantasy around Jackson. Damaged goods—that’s what Tory had all but said.
And now she didn’t know what to do next. Her operating playbook had nothing on this. Was she supposed to leave the kiss in the past, pretend it had never happened, treat him coolly and professionally? Like a tenant to the landlord? Had it been a one-time thing? Or did he want to do it again? She curled and uncurled her toes, not able to stop remembering the feeling of being kissed by Jackson.
She knew what she wanted. She could kiss Jackson again and again and never get tired of it. Was it possible that for him it had been just another kiss? That it had all been one sided?
Exasperated, she tossed the pillow aside and swung her feet out onto the floor, deciding that she needed to exercise, burn off some of this energy. Maybe then she would come up with a plan, a strategy for how to handle Jackson without making a fool of herself. Then she remembered. Hitting the gym, where she was likely to run into Bode, was off limits, and with the gray cloak of fog, running outside along the beach was an equally bad idea. Last thing she needed was to sprain or break something.
No. That meant being indoors. Shopping and eating, maybe even a movie, Lynn thought, brightening slightly. She could go see what was playing. It had been a long time since she saw a movie in the theater. Something loud and full of action and explosions. Mindless entertainment. That’
s what she needed, something where there wouldn’t be a trace of romance.
Chapter 26
He was coming out of the hotel when he saw her walking toward her car. She had on tall rubber boots, jeans, and an expensive-looking raincoat with a turtleneck poking through the collar. Her hood was up, protecting her face from the spit-like rain that seemed to envelope them.
“Lynn!” he called after her and he saw her stop, hesitate and then finally turn around to give him a tight smile.
“Hello,” he said, coming to stand before her. He didn’t trust himself to get close to her. She stood there, hands jammed in the pocket of her coat. He did the same and found himself suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it had been a bad idea to greet her. Perhaps he should have just slunk away, hoping that they didn’t run into each other. Which was a silly hope, since for the moment they were working and living in the same buildings.
“Hi,” she said.
“Going out?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, and then the silence hung between them. He could have kicked himself, knowing this wasn’t going as planned. Well, he hadn’t really planned anything about their meeting. Just knew that there was a part of him that wanted to—no, needed to—see her again.
Since there seemed to be nothing more to say, he saw her turn, as if to go.
“Wait,” he said, holding up a hand. “I just wanted to say...” He stumbled for a moment, trying to find the right words. “After last night, I mean with Bode. I wanted to say, that it would be fine if you wanted to use the gym at the hotel. No charge, of course. I checked with Chase. I know it doesn’t have all the amenities of the other place, but hey, I figured it would be ok until you found somewhere else to go.”
He stopped, taking a breath. Seriously, he had worked and lived in ten countries, could speak four languages passably, and now he was fumbling for words like he was in middle school talking to the first girl he’d met.
A smile, this one genuine, crossed Lynn’s face. “Thanks, that would be great. I wasn’t sure what to do. I mean, going outside is always an option, unless it’s like today, so...” She trailed off and then ended with another, “thanks.”
“Anytime.” The rain picked up again. There didn’t seem to be much point in standing out there, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to get away.
“Ok. Well, I’m going to go run some errands,” she said, and he watched as she started to back away, then turned and practically ran towards her car.
He stood for a moment more in the rain, watching her go, reminding himself that it was better this way.
Chapter 27
Lynn finished with her patient, a nine-year-old girl who had strep throat. The girl, who had been nervous when she first came in, was now relaxed and happy to know that there wasn’t something really wrong with her.
She gave a prescription for antibiotics to the mom and lollipops to the girl and her little sister, who looked at her solemnly with big blue eyes.
She stood, stretched, looked around. It was late in the afternoon and the patients were starting to thin out. The clinic closed early tonight, so soon it would be time for her to go home, Lynn thought. A good thing, since she’d been here since early in the morning. It was a nice fall evening, and the rain, which had lingered all yesterday, had blown out to sea, and in its place was cool, crisp, fall weather. Queensbay seemed shiny and bright under brilliant blue skies dotted by puffy white clouds, everything looking as if it had been freshly scrubbed.
Maybe she’d get out in time for a run, or even a walk; anything, since just getting out would be good. Or she could hang some of the pictures she’d bought and invite Tory and Phoebe over to help out. That might help her keep the thoughts of Jackson out of her mind. The movie the other day had worked, up to a point. The point where the hero—a blond actor with blue eyes and chiseled features—had gone for the obligatory kiss with the female lead. Lynn had almost gotten up and left the theater, but she was in the middle of the row and still had half her popcorn left. So she suffered through it, telling her hormones to calm it down. Going back to work had been a relief, for at least there she could focus.
But now another quiet evening stretched in front of her. Yup, some girlfriend time, take out, a glass of wine would be just what the doctor ordered. Feeling better at the thought of spending time with friends, she headed out towards the small office/break room all the staff shared. She could grab a cup of bad coffee, or better yet some tea, and finish up her paperwork.
She heard his voice, before she saw him. Curious, she walked towards the sound. He was in the director’s office, the door slightly open. She slowed and then decided to hurry past, since it was really none of her business what Jackson was doing here. After all, he owned the building, so he had every right to be here.
Sadie, who must have caught a flash of her passing by, called out to her, “Hey, Lynn! Come on in.”
Almost reluctantly, she turned on her heel and went to the office. Jackson’s presence seemed to overpower the small room. For a moment, all Lynn could sense and feel was him, his scent—the barest hint of good, clean soap and a lightly spicy aftershave. Her insides clenched and she willed herself to focus instead on the ever-pervasive smell of disinfectant, hoping to quell her dancing hormones.
She glanced between the two of them. Sadie was beaming and even Jackson looked as if he was pleased with himself.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Mr. Sanders,” Sadie began.
“Jackson, please,” he interrupted smoothly.
Sadie flashed him a smile so wide that Lynn was almost blinded. “Jackson is offering us a new lease. A very reasonable one, that allows us to stay here for as long as we want, and he’s promised to start to address the list of repairs and maintenance that Petersen never did.”
“What?” Lynn asked, looking at Jackson in disbelief. “Why would you do that?”
“Lynn,” Sadie hissed, “I don’t think we should question Mr., I mean Jackson’s, motives, now should we?”
“No, of course not,” Lynn said, hurriedly, shoving her hands into the pockets of her white coat. She glanced over at Jackson who had stood and was gathering up papers, stacking them neatly, and then placing them inside a file folder, which he then placed into his briefcase. He was wearing one of his expensive suits again, one that showed off his broad shoulders. He looked like himself again, professional, aloof, unreadable.
Snapping the briefcase, he picked it up, shook Sadie’s hand, and turned to Lynn. One look and her hormones swelled up like a tsunami and had her senses humming. It was his eyes. That had to be it. The way they could look hard and hurt and soulful, as if the mystery that was Jackson was all in there. They called to the healer in her, but he only gave a brief nod and even briefer smile.
“Doctor,” he said smoothly as he inclined his head in her direction. “I look forward to working with both of you.”
Sadie’s profusion of thanks echoed in Lynn’s ears as she watched Jackson leave the office. Ok, that was weird. It was like the kiss had never happened, like they hadn’t so much as touched. So his offering her the use of the gym at the hotel had been nothing but being…gentlemanly.
How could he ignore her like that? Or worse yet, how could he make her feel like…a horny teenager, without so much as him feeling a tickle of attraction? He couldn’t generate this much heat in her without some sort of answering reaction, could he? It had to violate the laws of chemistry, she decided.
“Can you believe it?” Sadie turned and addressed Lynn. “I mean it’s like some sort of miracle. The board of directors will be thrilled. The terms are really quite favorable, and I believe that we’ll really be able to make a go of it here.”
Lynn barely heard her but nodded all the same. She waited a moment, not sure what to do, but then she rushed out, determined to get to the bottom of this. She had to know if the attraction she felt for him was mutual or if he really was so cold that nothing of it was getting to him.
Chapter 28
She caught up to him in the parking lot, where he was just getting into the driver’s seat of his BMW.
“Wait,” she said as she jogged over to him.
He rolled down the window and looked at her from behind sunglasses. “Can I help you?”
“Why? I don’t get it. Did you do it because of me?”
“You?”
It came out like a slap. Lynn realized that she had just made a fool of herself. Hormones, adrenaline, the triumph of the male conqueror, that’s what the kiss had been about. Jackson had defeated another man at her expense and her kiss had been the prize. And that meant anything between them had to be one sided.
“Well, I mean…” Lynn stammered, feeling her face turning bright red, before she clutched at the very rationale he had given her. “You said the clinic was paying below market rent and was a losing proposition for you and you wanted to refit the space into a luxury medical spa.”
“Upon closer examination of the details, it turns out you have a solid history of paying your rent, which, upon further evaluation, isn’t as below market as I thought. So I negotiated a slight increase and in return, I’ll begin to address the maintenance issues. Plus, the medical spa is still interested but would prefer an upper floor, with an entrance in the rear, as their clients tend to prefer a bit of anonymity. So as you might say, I was able to work out a win–win.”
“A win–win?” Lynn said, thinking over the explanation. “It seems like you made quite an about-face from your previous position.”
“You know, Lynn,” he said, pulling down his sunglasses and stabbing her with his piercing blue eyes, “I am not as inflexible as you make it seem. Yes, I’m a businessman and I try to make money. But it’s not always about squeezing every single cent from people. Plus you always have to balance short-term with the long-term benefits. Sure, I could probably kick you guys out, fix the place up, and find someone who would come in and pay me more in rent. But then how do I know they’re a business with staying power? That in six months they won’t close up shop and I’ll have an empty space until I find a new client? And besides, Queensbay is my home, always has been, and according to some medical professionals I’ve talked to, the clinic plays an important role in the town.”