by Danielle Fox
I wrapped Adrian’s dressing gown tightly around myself and slipped my phone into the pocket, releasing it just before it burst to life. I startled at the noise evading the quiet room. I hadn’t been expecting my message tone so soon.
‘Good morning. How is your head? Please don’t tell me goodbye, Emily. Let me explain.’
I frowned at the words on the screen in front of me. What did that mean? It was he who had already told me goodbye.
‘I’m simply returning your own goodbye, Julian. And you have nothing to explain, it’s none of my business. My head has seen better days, thank you.’
His reply was almost instant – within seconds of my phone returning to my pocket, well, Adrian’s pocket.
‘I have a lot to explain, I wish to make my life your business. I need you to understand why I left yesterday and I would very much like your forgiveness. I need to see you, Emily. Please? Will you join me for dinner tonight?’
I blinked rapidly as his words touched me. He wanted my forgiveness. Did this mean he no longer wanted goodbyes? My heart stuttered as I considered that possibility.
As the next beginning of vibration started in my hand, I instinctively tapped the screen with my thumb and was horrified when I noticed my mistake. The vibration wasn’t a message as I had expected, it was a phone call. From Julian. Shit! I couldn’t speak to him! But I had already answered the call and I heard his voice call my name from the other end of the line. With a shaking hand, I raised my phone slowly to my ear, inhaling deeply.
“Hello?” I asked, as if I was unaware of whom the voice belonged to.
“Good morning, Emily.”
“Um...hi.” My voice sounded horrible, husky and almost masculine, heavy with the evidence of sleep – and dehydration.
“Is this a bad time?”
“No, now is fine. What do you want?”
“I want you to let me explain everything. I know I don’t deserve even a minute of your time, Emily, but please just give me an hour. Tonight. I’ll take you to dinner.”
“I can’t go out for dinner with you, Julian.”
I heard his deep intake of breath and listened as he released it slowly.
“So that’s it? You won’t talk to me? Is that just while you’re still angry at me or is that forever?”
“No, I can’t go to dinner with you because I have Maia. That is assuming that you weren’t planning on dining at McDonalds.” Julian laughed loudly at my words. “What’s funny?” I asked, my nerves evident in my weak voice.
“Nothing. Sorry. I’m relieved that you aren’t turning me away. Um... If you wish to dine at McDonalds that can certainly be arranged, or I can cook for you both at my place. That way Maia can sleep when she’s ready and we can talk.”
“Um...okay.”
“Okay, McDonalds? Or okay, my place?” I could hear the amusement in his tone.
“Okay, your place. If that isn’t too much trouble for you.”
“Emily, nothing I ever do for you will be too much trouble. Do you understand that?” Now his tone was serious, sincere.
“Not particularly, Julian, but you can explain later.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up at, say, five? Will you be home or will you still be at Adrian’s?”
“Five is great. And I’ll be home. How did you know I was at Adrian’s?”
“Please forgive me for that, I had to be sure you got home safely last night. I couldn’t simply watch you walk away.”
So he had followed me? I rolled my eyes and exhaled noisily. “See you at five, Julian.”
“Looking forward to it.”
The day seemed to drag on longer than any other day I could remember. I had gradually recovered from my hangover over the course of the day but the morning was not an enjoyable experience. Now I was reminded of why I didn’t drink much and why I chose to stay home rather than rolling in during the early hours of the morning. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so tired. The tiredness would be fine as a teenager but as a mother, it wasn’t as if I could just pop back to bed for an hour. As five o’ clock dawned I was sincerely grateful for the bottle of sports drink that Adrian had popped into my bag before I left his apartment.
When my doorbell rang and I spotted Julian’s Bentley outside the window, I felt refreshed and slightly more energetic although nothing would kill the burning of my eyes, only sleep. My stomach knotted as I reached for the door latch. Taking a deep breath, I opened it slowly. The smile that greeted me nearly knocked me off my feet. Wow! This man was so beautiful. Every inch of his face beamed perfectly at me, making my knees feel slightly weak.
“Hi,” I greeted him. “Come in.” I stood aside and held the door open, encouraging him inside.
“Thank you,” he said as he began to move toward the open door. “And hi yourself. You’re looking very lovely, Miss Braxton.”
My cheeks flushed crimson as I looked down as if checking for myself how I looked, although I already knew how I looked. I had borrowed yet another of Samantha’s dresses. A sleek, satin black pencil dress with a sweetheart neck line. With its lack of sleeves – or straps even – I had felt a little too exposed so I had chosen a small, nude-coloured, short-sleeved jacket to cover my shoulders and added a thin nude belt around my middle to compliment it. Finished off with Samantha’s nude, patented high stiletto shoes, I was confident that I looked good. Well, as good as I was capable of looking.
As he passed me he paused briefly, flashing me his dazzling smile once more as his slightly narrowed eyes scanned down the length of my entire body then moved back up to meet mine again. My heart pounded and my breath hitched in my throat in response. He leaned closer to me, slowly, and when I didn’t object he pressed his lips gently against my cheek, inhaling deeply as he did so.
“You are truly stunning, Miss Braxton,” he breathed as he straightened himself.
“Thank you, Mr Scott,” I replied, blushing deeply no doubt. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
Of course that was an absolute, bare-faced lie. He looked incredible. He was impeccably dressed in a crisp, brilliant white dress shirt complete with a cool blue tie. His dark grey suit looked fantastic on him and certainly did plenty of favours to certain parts of his anatomy. As I closed the door behind him, I glanced over my shoulder just as he was removing his jacket. With his shirt tucked neatly into his trousers there was nothing to obstruct the view of his perfectly shaped backside! I felt the familiar heat spreading through my cheeks once more as he turned to face me, hoping he hadn’t noticed the level of my line of sight.
“Why are you blushing, Miss Braxton?” he smirked.
“Nothing,” I stammered as I felt the burning of my cheeks increase dramatically. Shit, that didn’t actually make any sense! “Um... I mean... I’m not blushing.”
Julian grinned at me, his eyes wicked with some private thought and then Maia came bouncing into the hallway just at the right moment to save me from my embarrassment.
“Hello, gorgeous girl.” Julian beamed at Maia. “Are you hungry?” he asked, crouching down so that he was at her height.
“Yes,” Maia replied, smiling widely at Julian.
“How about you and Mummy come to my house and I’ll make you some dinner? What’s your favourite?” Julian tucked a loose strand of her hair gently behind her ear as he spoke.
“Sketty bobnaise. But with long worm stuff, not the twisty things,” Maia replied with her eyes full of excitement.
Julian’s face beamed as his mouth turned up in amusement at Maia’s description of spaghetti bolognaise. “Then sketty bobnaise it is! Complete with long worm stuff,” he chuckled.
Julian made the spaghetti bolognaise from scratch with his own fair hands after politely dismissing his housekeeper, Maria, for the evening. I wasn’t sure Maia would eat it, after all she was used to the kind that came in a jar, but even after Julian’s concern of her being hungry and so insisting on feeding her fruit and yoghurt whilst dinner was cooking, she ate the whole plate before t
elling him that his dinner was much yummier than Mummy’s. And she was right, it was delicious. I was very impressed. I hadn’t pictured Julian as the type who cooked a meal, let alone on insisting that he make the task much more difficult than it needed to be by dismissing the Dolmio jar in his cupboard.
By 8pm, Maia was fast asleep on the sofa whilst cartoons continued to play on the TV.
“I’d better take Maia to bed,” I said as I rose from my seat at the breakfast bar. Julian looked nervously at me. His eyes scanned mine before wandering down to the floor.
“Would you mind if I carried her to bed?” he asked, his eyes unable to hold contact with mine.
“Of course not,” I smiled.
I placed my hand against his perfectly shaven cheek and encouraged him to look at me. My first glass of wine had clearly given me slightly more courage than I usually possessed. “You don’t need to feel nervous with me, Julian.”
“I don’t want you to think that I am trying to come between the two of you. I would never do that. I’d just like to show you that I welcome the both of you and that I think very highly of your daughter. And yourself, of course.”
“I know that. Let’s get her to bed; I do believe you wanted to do some explaining.”
The muscles in my stomach twisted as I wondered briefly what I was possibly going to hear tonight. A small furrow appeared between his brows as he listened to my words, then he turned and went to Maia. He lifted her gently and cradled her tiny body against his broad chest as he carried her into the guest room. He laid her on the bed and tucked the duvet snugly around her before kissing her gently on her forehead. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched him. Somehow his small show of affection towards my daughter filled me with emotions, happiness being the most prominent.
“She really is a little angel,” Julian whispered as he stood, still looking at Maia. “She’s a real credit to you, Emily.”
“Thank you.”
Returning to the living area, Julian handed me a glass of wine. I sank onto the sofa and tucked my feet up beneath me. “So, you wanted to talk?” I said, fingering the fabric at the hem of Samantha’s dress.
“I need to explain a few things to you, Emily. Then, when you know the facts, you can decide whether you want me to be a part of your life or not.” His deep eyes bored into mine and his nervous fingers spun the stem of his glass round and round in his hand.
“Firstly, Natalie,” he began, “I told you I had never been involved with Natalie and I was telling you the truth.” He took a long, deep breath before carrying on. “Natalie is my sister.” His eyes searched mine as if gauging my reaction. Well, that was not what I was expecting to hear. Relief washed over me, my body no doubt visibly relaxing. Then my relief was quickly replaced by confusion and uncertainty. Why hadn’t he just told me this from the beginning, what was with the secrecy?
“Okay. So why didn’t one of you just tell me that?”
“It’s...um...complicated. I will tell you the full story one day, that is assuming you will still want to know me, but basically no one knows she’s my sister. You are the only person I have ever told this to.”
“Why?”
“She knew I was planning on telling you, that’s why she was looking at you in that way last night, and by the way I’ve had words with her and she won’t be behaving like that towards you again. My father was not a very nice man, Emily. He’s done some despicable things in the past. Natalie shouldn’t be anywhere near me but I have vowed to look after her and make sure that she’s safe. If my father knew she was with me, he would come after her. So, to cut a long story short, Natalie lives under a false identity here. She was placed under the witness protection act years ago so he couldn’t get to her again. But I wasn’t. He could find me if he wanted to and that is why no one can ever know Natalie’s true identity.”
I was completely shocked, speechless. I had not expected that as an explanation. What could their father possibly have done to her to have her put under witness protection?
“Will you tell me why?” I asked nervously, again thanking the wine for making me brave.
“I won’t go into details. That’s not my place. My father was an abusive man and a drunk. Natalie saw things that no little girl should ever see, and when she spoke out my father went crazy. Her revelations landed him behind bars, but he still has contacts on the outside. He mustn’t ever learn of her whereabouts. The police had no option but to put her under witness protection with the condition that she never has any contact with her biological family, but I won’t leave her unprotected. I won’t let her be by herself, why should she be alone? I didn’t protect her then but I will now.” He trailed off and I noticed a glint of moisture in his eye.
My poor, vulnerable Julian was back. I shuffled closer to him and cautiously stroked a hand through his hair. He leaned his head heavily into my hand and a quiet moan came from his mouth.
“Thank you, Julian,” I breathed, my voice barely audible as my emotions took over.
“For what?”
“For being honest with me. For trusting me. I promise you, I will never tell a single soul what you have just told me.”
“I know you won’t. I trust you, Emily.”
I smiled and cautiously moved closer to him. As he registered my movement, his gaze heated and his lips parted slightly as an invitation, I assumed. I pressed my lips gently against his and held them still, waiting for his movement to come first as acceptance of my kiss. His acceptance followed after a second as he pressed his lips against mine in return and began his slow, sensuous rhythm. My hand fisted in his hair when he quickened his pace, his kiss becoming urgent as his tongue began to explore my mouth. His hands gripped firmly on my waist as if holding me in place. Then his mouth tore away from mine as he began trailing soft kisses from my jaw and down my neck. I rolled my head back to grant him more space and he slid my jacket gently off my shoulders. His kisses stopped as he pulled his head back, his eyes scanning over my now bare shoulders and chest.
“You are so beautiful,” he breathed as his lips returned to my neck once more, this time travelling across my shoulder. Then his mouth paused and his forehead pressed into the side of my neck. “I can’t kiss you like this, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“What have I done now?” I huffed.
“Nothing, Emily. Absolutely nothing,” he replied through panting breaths.
“Then why is it that every time we get close you freak out and tell me you can’t?”
“I want your first time to be special, Emily. Not a quick romp on the sofa, or against the hall wall. I want to treat you how you deserve to be treated and if I kiss you like that for much longer I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself.”
With his last words, his cheeks reddened and I realised I had just witnessed Mr Julian Scott blushing. A triumphant smile spread across my mouth. “Why are you blushing, Mr Scott?” I teased.
Julian groaned as he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss against my lips.
“Here, put your jacket back on,” he ordered as he reached around to the sofa behind me and retrieved my jacket.
“I’m not cold.”
“Then I’ll open the window,” he replied. “But I would much rather concentrate on our conversation without the distraction of your naked upper torso staring at me.”
“Maybe I want to distract you.”
“Ah, don’t tempt me, Emily, or I may not stick to my promise of making it special.”
“So that was a promise? I’ll hold you to that.”
“I never break a promise,” he said with a wicked grin spreading across his mouth and equally reaching his eyes.
“And when might I have the pleasure of finding out if that’s true?”
“That depends if you can do as you are told and put your jacket back on.” As he spoke he moved his arms behind me, trying to coax my arms into my jacket.
“Fine!” I agreed, pushing my arms into the small sleeves.
I grinned r
idiculously at the thought that I could possibly distract such a man simply by having bare shoulders. Maybe I could seduce him; after all, I didn’t want to wait. But I decided to leave it for tonight and give him his chance of explaining whatever it was he wanted to explain.
“Where were we?” I asked, taking a sip of wine.
“I believe you wanted to know why I left.”
“Is it important now?” I asked, forgetting the hurt and anger he had caused me such a short time ago. It didn’t seem to matter anymore with him sitting before me and sharing his most treasured secrets.
“It was down to Natalie that I came back,” he murmured, his eyes locked on his wine glass looking almost ashamed. “She convinced me that I could be a good person, that I was nothing like our father and that I could trust myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never let myself get emotionally attached to a woman before; I’ve never trusted myself enough to know that I wouldn’t hurt them. My feelings for you frightened me, Emily. I have never felt a connection like ours before; I didn’t know it was even possible to be so drawn to another being. So, I tried to stop myself from falling for you, I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Why would you hurt me?”
“All I’ve ever known of marriage and partnership is a drunk who regularly slept with other women and broke my mother’s heart over and over. I saw her tears each time and I felt her pain. I don’t want to be responsible for inflicting that on you.”
“And you wouldn’t. I trust you.”
“How do I know that I won’t turn out like him? So far I haven’t proved myself to be much different. I was afraid to get close to you. Especially when I learned about Maia.”
“I thought you accepted us both?” I asked, the gut wrenching fear of his rejection evident in my voice.
“Natalie talked some sense into me and encouraged me to talk to you, she wasn’t happy when I revealed that I would only tell you the whole truth, but she trusts me. She made me realise that just because I had never had a worthy role model, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t be one for Maia. I suppose that’s why I enjoyed tucking her into bed tonight, to prove to myself that I can be a good person, to prove that I have a compassionate side, even if I don’t show it often.” His eyes dropped to his glass once more before they closed as he took a large gulp of wine.