“Everyone needs to report to base,” his voice is urgent over the line. “Judge Hawthorne wants us to raid that property over on Old Mill Road.”
Shit. These people have been working with the Strathers, and right now, they aren’t my favorite family. We’ve raided that property twice before, and each time we find that their operation has grown more sophisticated. But that operation, they don’t pay taxes, and the state of Alabama just can’t abide by that. For every cent of profit it makes, the government wants their cut, too. When the government doesn’t get their piece, they call us in.
“I’ll be there, ASAP,” I tell him, flipping on the KC lights embedded into the front grill of my truck.
This is exactly what I need, I realize as I push my foot down on the accelerator. Feeling and hearing the engine respond, the way my tires eat up the miles between myself and our home base, soothes me. The lights give me the ability to weave in and out of traffic, and I do it with abandon, driving faster than I probably should, but it’s what I’m craving right now. An out of control ride I’m really in control of. The adrenaline courses through my veins, giving me the high I only get from being the junkie I am.
Within minutes I’m at our base, and I can’t help the grin that covers my face as I see the rest of the team roaring into the parking lot, tires squealing and lights blaring.
“Let’s do this shit,” Ace, another member of our team, yells as he steps out of his Dodge Charger.
I hold out my hand for him to slap and he does as he walks towards me. “Agreed, I need something to take the edge off,” I move my head from side to side, loosening my neck as I try to stretch out my shoulders.
“You okay?” he asks, looking at me closely.
I nod. “It’ll all work out.” And it will, I know it will. It’s the getting there that’s going to be the difficult part.
* * *
“Surveillance photos from yesterday show they’ve moved deeper into the woods. From up above, it looks like they’ve fortified the property next to the natural spring. Not sure if they’ve trapped it, but we’ll know as soon as we get there,” Holden tells us as he passes out information packets of what we need.
“How are they armed?” I ask. Normally that’s not the question I ask, but now it means something. I need to make sure I make it out of this and home at the end of the day. That’s never been something I’ve worried about before, but my life changed yesterday, in a way I never imagined.
Holden flips over his own packet, skimming whatever’s on it. Looking up at me, his gaze meets me head on. “Eyes on the ground have told us that there is a lot of fire power, but they aren’t formally trained. Chances are they’re going to react, and that’s it. If we can go in quiet, we’ll have the element of surprise on our side and hopefully be able to subdue them without using our own fire power. The goal is take them peacefully.”
Ace pipes up from where he sits. “Isn’t that always the goal? Sometimes dudes with big guns though, they have that little man syndrome and get all fucked up with it.”
“You do what you have to do to get your ass back here,” Holden levels us all with a glare. “That’s number one, above anything else. Whatever happens, we get back here. Let’s suit up and head out.”
* * *
Putting on my vest has never meant so much to me. It has always protected me and been a major part of my life, but today it means more. Renegade, get your shit together, I tell myself. I can’t let my head get in the middle of this game; if I let my head get into the middle of it, I’m dead. When I’m out there, I can’t let myself think about anything other than the job at hand. Letting personal thoughts creep in gets people hurt or killed. I have way too much to fucking live for right now.
Checking my gun, I put extra ammunition in my cargo pants pocket and grab my KA-BAR knife, sticking it in my waistband. At points there have been times when I’ve had to do hand-to-hand combat, and I want to make sure I’m prepared. I want to leave nothing to chance. I plan for all contingencies; in one of my pockets I even carry a Taser. If it gets bad, you want whatever it takes to get out of a situation alive.
“You ready?” Holden asks as he holds out a piece of gum towards me.
I chew it because it helps with my nerves, it allows me to focus on the rhythm of that rather than the beating of my heart or the adrenaline making my hands shake. I open the paper and pop it into my mouth. “I’m ready,” I tell him, putting my earpiece in my ear.
“Then let’s ride, brother,” he says as he tags me on the chest. The hit of his knuckles is almost like a timer going off in my head. It puts me on high alert and sets my heart pounding. With those words, everything kicks into high gear and all of us make our way out to the garage, loading up into our armored vehicle.
The ride to Old Mill Road is quiet as we’re all focused on our own thoughts. Mine centered on how I’m going to subdue and enforce, how I’m going to make it out without taking a bullet, and how I’m going to go home at the end of the day. I close my eyes; we’ve been to this property enough that I know the layout. I envision how I’m going to move once we get out of this vehicle. In my mind, I see the places danger could be hiding, where they could have made improvements, where they could have put traps. My focus and goal is not to leave anything to chance.
Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, my finger lingers over Whitney’s name. I’ve not had a woman in my life since I started this job. It’s always been a couple of nights here, a couple of nights there. One girl was a week, but by the end of that week, I felt so fucking suffocated I couldn’t wait to let her go. Whitney though, she holds a piece of me – literally – and for the first time it hits me – what if I don’t make it out of this alive. She won’t even know where I was going, what I was doing.
Decision made, I fire off a quick message letting her know I’m out on a job, not to worry, but telling her that I want her to know what I’m doing. If something happens what she needs to do. Maybe it’s morbid to be thinking about these things right now, but my life has done a complete one-eighty in the last twenty-four hours. With great clarity, I realize I need to change my beneficiaries as soon as possible with not only this place, but with my military pension.
I want to be a thousand percent honest with her, because I feel like Stephen wasn’t that way. The good things, the bad things, the things that we aren’t sure about. I want to share those with her – even if she doesn’t want to share that with me yet.
“Two minutes out,” I hear and now I know I need to let everything go. I’m not religious but in these moments before we reach a target, I always say a little prayer and give it to God. It’s the only thing that lets me get through what are sometimes hairy parts.
I shut down the phone and put it in my tactical vest. Leaning my forehead down against the butt of my AK 47, I let my mind clear. I let it become blank and it’s then that my hearing becomes superhuman; I’m completely aware of everything that’s going on around me.
This heightened sense of awareness has saved my life many times and helped me through more missions that I care to count.
It’s what makes me Renegade.
CHAPTER NINE
Whitney
What I wouldn’t give for a glass of wine, but let’s face it, that’s what got me into this situation in the first place. I’m emotionally and mentally raw after talking to Ryan yesterday. So many times in my life I’ve had to deal with things on my own. Nobody knew how horrible my marriage was, because I kept it all to myself. I’ve never wanted to be the type of woman who needs someone to clean up her messes, and that ended up with me in the biggest mess of my life.
Beside me, my phone buzzes, and I see Addison’s smiling face. Somehow she always knows when I need to talk.
“Thank God,” I answer the phone, sniffing as I say the words. “How do you always get it right?”
“Because, we were twins separated at birth,” she jokes, a laugh in her voice. “Tell Addison all about it. Did you go to the doctor? Have yo
u found out what the hell’s going on with you?”
I haven’t told anyone about my night with Ryan, not even the doctor who just confirmed my pregnancy, and I desperately need to. I’ve kept this inside for six long weeks, and this woman, I know I can trust her with my life. That’s how close we are. When I left Stephen, she was the person who went with me to the attorney and held my hand while I filed for divorce. She was the person I sent pictures to the two times he hit me, keeping the situation in her best friend vault while I formulated a plan to leave him. If there’s anyone I know I can trust, it’s her.
“I’m having a baby with Ryan Kepler.” Best to get it out in the open. This is one thing I don’t want to brush under the rug. No matter how it ended up, I’m kind of proud of myself for stepping out on a limb and having the guts to tell a man what I wanted. To tell him, because if anyone is definitely a man, it’s him.
There’s silence on the phone and I’m wondering if I’ve shocked her into speechlessness. It wasn’t what I meant to do and I’ve truly never known her to not have any kind of reaction. “Addison?”
She clears her throat. “I’m here,” she answers. “Did I hear you correctly? You and Renegade did the nasty?”
I breathe through my nose heavily. “It wasn’t like that, I swear.”
“Wait,” she interrupts me. “I’m coming over. I want to see your face when you tell me this tale. I need to know what you’re feeling, not wonder about while I’m on the other end of a phone line.”
This is exactly what I don’t want to happen, because Addison knows me so well, but damned if I can stop it. “I’ll see you in a few,” I tell her quietly. While I wait for her to get here, I’m going to come to grips with the fact she’s going to see everything. I won’t be able to hide anything from her.
* * *
It’s less than ten minutes later when Addison pulls into my driveway. I hear the car door slam and I can even hear her all but run to my front door. She knows me well enough to know that my front door isn’t unlocked. She’s laying on the doorbell in seconds.
“I’m coming!” I yell.
Opening the door, I wait for the explosion that I know is coming.
“Whitney Trumbolt, what in the hell has gotten into you?” Addison stops, her mouth moving like she’s a fish gasping for air until she finally presses the words out. “Tell me what happened and I’m talkin’ now – don’t leave anything out.”
My palms are sweaty as I have a seat on my couch and face her. It’s hard to admit to others what I’ve done. I don’t like disappointing people, and this feels like a huge one. Even bigger than when I quit my job and started my own business, when I finally left my husband and asked for a divorce, and when I was a teenager and told my mom that I wouldn’t be doing pageants again. This feels insurmountable.
“One night I was at a bar,” I start, gathering my thoughts. “Stephen had left a message on my cell phone and it bothered me, like it always does.”
“How many times have I told you, Whit?” She interrupts me. “He’s nothing to you anymore. He has no power over you.”
Running my fingers through my hair, I squeeze my eyes shut. “I know, I know, but it’s not that easy, Addison. Not when you lived what I did for so many years. It’s hard to admit, but with the therapy I’ve had, I can honestly say, I’m owning the fact that I have issues. I’m trying to work through them, but that’s neither here nor there. You asked me what lead me to Ryan. It was Stephen.”
A smile forms on Addison’s face. “How fuckin’ ironic.”
Ignoring her, I move forward. “There was way too much drinking going on. I told Ryan things I’ve never told anyone before, including you.”
“You trust him a little bit then,” she interjects.
“He’s Trevor’s best friend. Why would I not trust him? I’ve known him since he was a kid – which brings me to another problem. He’s ten years younger than me.”
“One thing at a time,” she gets me back on track. “I gotta know about conception night.”
I’m not sure how comfortable I am telling her how bare we laid ourselves that night. How bare I laid myself. I’ve thought about it since then, and I realized I gave a piece of myself to Ryan that I’ve never given to another person and I’m trying to process that still.
“I asked him to end my long drought, he brought me back here, and did everything I asked him to.”
Her eyebrows are in her hairline. “That’s it? You’re not going to give me details?” Her voice squeaks with disbelief.
“I think you know what happened, it’s been happening since the beginning of time.” I brush it off. If anyone asks me, I’ll say it was a coming together of two bodies in the age-old dance of time, but God it was so much more than that. It was me getting a piece of myself back and the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. And while I’m being honest, I’ve woken up at least once a week since our encounter having dreams of Ryan. He did things to me I won’t even admit in the light of day.
She leans in with this look on her face that I recognize. I think I’m about to get a lecture.
“Whitney, how could you not use protection? He’s a young guy who’s been all over the world. I’m sure he’s sticking his dick in anything that walks.”
“Gee, Addison, thanks!” The thought had crossed my mind, but I don’t think we’re giving him enough credit. There was something about the way he’d treated me, the way he’d touched me. It made me think that it had been a while for him too, like I wasn’t a one-night stand.
“Sorry,” she shrugs but I can tell she isn’t.
“Stephen and I tried to get pregnant for years and we couldn’t. I was always lead to believe that I couldn’t have children,” I explain, tears popping into my eyes again. Hormones are going to kill me.
“Oh, Whitney,” she shakes her head, letting it fall back on her shoulders. “Let me guess, by Stephen?”
I can’t meet her eyes as I nod, my chin trembling with the magnitude of feelings my marriage caused me. It’s an embarrassment to know that he’s still so deep in my head, even a year after the divorce. I should be stronger than this. “Needless to say,” I shrug, a small smile on my face. “I’m pregnant, and it’s his.”
Addison scoots forward and grabs my hand in hers. “Are you happy, Whit? This is what you’ve wanted for so long. So what’s got you upset?”
I swallow roughly and realize that what I’m about to say sounds stupid, even to my own ears. “He wants to be a part of the baby’s life.”
Throwing her head back, Addison cracks up. “Oh girl, you try to keep this man away from you or his child, you’re in for the fight of your life. You might as well give in. Renegade Kepler gets what he wants. He’s wanted you for years and damned if he didn’t get you – at least for a night.”
The realization that she’s right has me more scared than before.
CHAPTER TEN
Renegade
Filling out paperwork is my least favorite thing about this job, but it’s a necessity. I usually try to get it done immediately after we finish a raid, but tonight, my mind is somewhere else. It’s on a southern debutante who looked like a porn star on her knees.
Shaking my head, I lean back over that paperwork and continue writing up my report.
I’m quiet as I move deeper into the woods. My breathing is slow and steady, I’m not winded and I’m on high alert. All my senses are attuned to what’s going on around me. Adrenaline is pumping through my veins, making sweat trickle along my back and run down under the bullet proof vest I wear. This is exactly why I wear leather gloves, so that the gun doesn’t slip between them when my heart pounds the fastest and my head runs through every scenario.
I stop for a moment and focus on chewing my gum, let it regain my equilibrium. I spot Ace up ahead and he motions to me to stop. My reaction is immediate. I hear what he hears. People are talking, but we can’t make out the words. Looking around at the trees around us, I see that they’ve turned black – it’s a re
action that happens when people are running a still. We’re close.
In the silence, we hear a shot. Ace and I immediately hit the ground, and I hear the bullet hit a tree somewhere behind me.
“Motherfucker,” I mumble under my breath. They’ve got a lookout this time.
Bringing myself back to the present, I continue filling out my incident reports, shaking my head at how brazen some of the people we go up against are. In the end, we breached the compound and took our suspects into custody. Long day, long night, and now all I want is a shower and my bed.
“You outta here?” Holden asks as I digitally sign my paperwork, upload it to the server, and close my work laptop.
“Sure am, unless you need me to do anything else?”
I grab my jacket, but don’t put it on because I’m dirty and I don’t like to do laundry.
“No, just wanted to let you know you did good today,” he tells me, giving my hand a shake. That means a lot coming from him. I’m the newest on the team and the youngest. Trevor is six months older than me and holds it over my head whenever possible.
“Thank you,” I feel a rush of pride. I never had pride in anything I did while I was growing up. Not in the shitty trailer we lived in, not in the piece of shit rusted truck my Dad sometimes drove me to school in, and not in the fucking free lunch I got every day in the cafeteria. Since I took off on my own, pride is something I never take for granted. I want to feel that rush in my chest whenever possible. “I appreciate that and I’m working hard to show you that I belong here.”
“Trust me,” Holden tells me. “It’s not going unnoticed. We appreciate the work you’re putting in.”
That means more to me than I can say. I take satisfaction in my work and how I hold myself, because it’s the only thing in my life I’ve ever had control of. “I won’t let you down,” I tell him as we walk to the parking lot.
Renegade (Moonshine Task Force Book 1) Page 6