The Other Side of My Kitchen

by Dazz L. Jackson

  It was a sunny sixty-five degrees when I arrived at the Carter Center and it wasn’t a cloud in the sky, so I left the windows down on my truck after I parked and walked over to the Ivan Allen III Pavilion that contained the Cecil B. Day Chapel and other conference facilities. Carmen and I use to meet there and talk politics and host of other profound subjects before we had lunch in the Japanese garden that was located by the Hemmeter Pavilion. The rest of the memories that we made here were pleasant and x-rated even if I didn’t want to accept them.

  As I entered the garden, the botanical smell of freshly planted flowers filled my lungs as I searched for Carmen’s full figured body. As usual she was going to be late; therefore I took a seat by the pond and watched the tranquilly swimming Koi fish when my MDA came alive.

  “Omari.”

  “Hello Omari. It’s me, September.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised by this call, because I

  should have known that Cece was going to call September and tell her that I needed to talk to her.

  “Lemme guess, Cece called you?”

  “She said you wanted to talk me, so here I am.”

  “Right,” I said after I caught a glimpse of Carmen as she entered the garden. “How bout we talk over lunch September. You name the place and time, and I’ll be there.”

  “I teach during the day Omari, so that might be a little hard to do.”

  “What are you saying, teachers don’t eat lunch?” “Yes, but I usually eat at the school.”

  “That can’t be healthy, how bout I bring lunch so that we don’t hafta waste time waiting for it?”

  “How bout tomorrow afternoon.”

  “That sounds great. What was the name of that school again?”

  “Alonzo Crim High School. Do you need directions?”

  “I’ll look it up on the internet, so I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said before Carmen finally reached me.

  Carmen Hayes, born Carmen Washington, was a strikingly beautiful woman who was painted a dark creamy chocolate, and had these crazy, curvy lines and almond shaped eyes that made her enjoyable to look at. So much so, whenever Carmen entered a room, no matter the size or place, all eyes found her and these long legs that were usually capped with a pair of Jimmy Choo’s. The rest of her was habitually clothed in anything that whispered money and class. Only a fool wouldn’t want to tap that ass.

  Emotionally, she could be unbelievably simple and direct, but on the other hand Carmen could be an extremely complicated woman if pushed the wrong way. Born and raised in the Deep South, Carmen, like a lot of true southerners, was a chameleon. What you saw or thought you heard her say was probably a well-crafted illusion designed more to protect than to hurt. One of the first interesting things that I discovered about her was this incredible ability to manipulate people, man, woman, or child.

  Not overly intelligent, however Carmen had this unending desire to learn, no matter the subject. Carmen had a little something for any man, be he smart or instinctive. Seeing her again would be a challenge, and as always Carmen looked and smelled like lust gone unimpeded. How her husband managed to keep all that sexual energy in checks was beyond me. Even I had a hard time extinguishing Carmen’s intense passion. This wasn’t just a physical feat; it was an emotional endeavor. Like all control freaks, Carmen secretly enjoyed being dominated. I figured this out because I too was a control freak who enjoyed being dominated by the opposite sex, as long as that person knew how to go about doing this to me without roughing up my feathers.

  “Late as always,” I said to her with little to no respect in my voice. “Some people change for the best. While the rest of us say fuck life’s endless tests. So how have you been Omari?”

  “Okay I guess.”

  “Well you look good, and from what I hear you’re doing your thing in the business world.”

  “That’s what happens when you get an A on all those tests that you avoided.”

  “Don’t be mean, I’m here right? So let’s be civil for old time’s sake,” she said before she took a seat next to me.

  Carmen’s natural musk was something of an aphrodisiac for me, coupled that with a few well placed ounces of Thierry Mugler’s Angel, Carmen was almost impossible for me to resist. In an attempt to escape sensory overload, I tried to stop breathing until I started to feel faint. I was going to have to do this the hard way I thought to myself before I scooted to a safe distance.

  “Okay, let’s be civil.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So what’s going on with this investigation Carmen?”

  “I’ve missed you.”

  “You miss the danger, now answer my question.”

  Carmen smiled confidently before she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “loving you wasn’t dangerous at all Omari. It was one of the best things to happen to me in years. Did you know that?”

  I didn’t, and I would be lying to myself if I didn’t allow my ego to absorb that well placed compliment. After that time honored male ego function was complete, I returned to the task at hand.

  “I don’t think your husband would appreciate that bit of news, but for what its worth, thank you. So what’s going on with this investigation Carmen?”

  “C’mon Omari, stand tall and tell me you don’t miss me.”

  “Look, I didn’t come here…”

  “Tell me you don’t miss how we use to French kiss at this very spot as if the entire stupid world was about to implode all around us.”

  Dramatic as that sounded, that not so recent image of our display of lust and desire would always be etched in my lower sub consciousness. However I knew if I went there with Carmen without being in control, it would be like handing over the keys to the kingdom. No emperor in history wanted to do that; therefore it was time for me to take my rightful place before I was demoted to peasant status.

  “You were not the first or the only woman that I brought here Carmen, but if you want to insist on pretending that you were; that’s fine with me.” I said before I got close. “You miss that shit don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  “And he still doesn’t get it does he?”

  “No, not at all.”

  “Still doesn’t know how to touch you does he?” I said as I carefully stroked her breast.

  The take over was in its infancy and I was about to take it to the next level by allowing my body to reach a physical form that I usually kept under wraps. Carmen’s physical gifts made her almost impossible to intimidate, however I discovered a long time ago that my height and girth coupled with my intelligence had a way of turning her on. With this in mind, I pulled her body close to mines and found that it still felt as good as it did the last time I held her.

  “I’m here, so tell me what it is that you want from me Carmen.”

  Carmen’s eyes were glazed over like a Krispy Kreme donut when she responded with, “I need to know a little something, if that’s okay with you.”

  I leaned over and inhaled her groove before I replied with, “Aw’ight, what do you want to know?”

  “Do you miss me? Do you miss us?”

  “I miss the long talks in the park, and the way you made me feel on some of those walks. I miss licking the Hennessy off of your breast while under a bare summer moon. But do I miss us, there was never an us, there was always me you and him.”

  “I understand,” she said sadly before our lips found each other as if they had been lost but now found.

  “You still want me don’t you?”

  “Like today needs tomorrow Omari.”

  “Are you sure, I mean, what do you really want Carmen?”

  “I want you to love me.”

  “Let’s not confuse love with a good fuck. So tell me, what do you want from me Carmen?”

  Carmen kissed me deeply and squeezed me tightly before her eyes locked on to mines and said what she wanted before her pretty mouth could.

  “Fuck me, gotdamit!”

  I reached over and grab
bed her hand before we hurried off toward the nearest building. Once inside I looked around franticly for a quiet place before I discovered it about twenty meters from the entrance. Carmen saw the same thing and said, “Let’s go” before I could point her in the right direction. Right before we entered the empty women’s bathroom, my MDA decided to ring. I quickly checked to see who it was as Carmen and I collapsed inside an empty stall.

  “Shit,” I said after I realized it was Olivia calling.

  “Call them back Baby,” Carmen gasped before she unbuckled my belt.

  Half a second okay,” I said before I took the call. “What’s going on?”

  “Hey daddy, it’s me Jasmine.”

  For a change, my little girl’s voice sounded happy and balanced, wished I could have said the same about mines. “Baby, daddy is in a meeting right now, can I call you back,” I said before I felt something warm and wet below.

  “Oh shit…Damn that feels good!” I moaned out before the whole scene suddenly went X-rated.

  Twenty-five minutes later, I was the first to leave that women’s bathroom, which meant I was the first to return to the Japanese garden. Carmen joined me eventually after she made herself back to the way she was before everything went down. This was exactly how we did things when we were deep into each other; however there was a rather strange twist to how we would greet each other after we made love.

  “Late as always I see,” I said with little to no respect in my voice.

  “Some people change for the best while the rest of us say fuck life’s endless tests. So how have you been Omari?”

  “Okay I guess.”

  “You look good, and from what I hear you’re doing your thing.”

  “That’s what happens when you get an A on one of those tests Carmen.”

  “Don’t be mean Omari.”

  “I’m not trying to be mean.”

  “Whatever, I’m here right, so lets be civil for old time’s sake,” she said before she took a seat next to me.

  Carmen’s natural musk was something of an aphrodisiac for me, coupled that with a few well placed ounces of Thierry Mugler’s Angel, Carmen was almost impossible to resist. In attempt to escape sensory overload, I tried to stop breathing until I started to feel faint. I was going to have to do this the hard way I thought to myself before I scooted to a safe distance.

  “Okay, let’s be civil. So what’s going on with this investigation Carmen?”

  “First of all, I’ve missed you.”

  “You miss the danger. So answer my question.”

  Carmen smiled confidently before she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Contrarily, loving you wasn’t dangerous at all Omari. It was one of the best things to happen to me in years. And you never understood that.”

  “I understood that you were a married woman after some stranger from your office informed me…remember?”

  “I remember,” Carmen said as her eyes looked upward. “Did you know that I took your noble advice by not firing that lady, even though every grain in my body begged me to do it. Did you know how much I loved you Omari? Did you know that I was willing and ready to leave Felton if only you had asked? But I was nothing but a good fuck to you right?”

  “That’s not true at all and you know it.”

  “I wouldn’t know that Omari, because after you found out the truth, you abandoned me as if I was some deadly infection that was about take over your body. For the record, I never took off my wedding ban whenever we were together; I assumed you knew my situation.”

  “I don’t remember seeing that until…”

  “You didn’t want to see it Omari,” Carmen snapped as she showed me a big ass diamond ring. “This isn’t the original ring Omari, the original ring was bigger, and you’re telling me you didn’t see it. No Baby, you saw it, you just didn’t want to face what you were doing.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “Can’t see it can you?”

  “This is bullshit.”

  “I guess it is to you. Then again your ex-wife did the same thing to you and then you turned around and helped me do it to my husband. Instead of facing the truth, subconsciously you made yourself the victim so that you could come out on top.”

  “You’re crazy, I mean this has to be the craziest…”

  “It don’t matter none Omari, because look what I had to do just to get your attention.”

  “You went after my credibility because you know a man isn’t shit without his credibility.”

  Carmen appeared frustrated, “Is that the only reason Omari?”

  “What do you think Carmen?”

  “I see, well, here’s why I’m here. I loved you Omari, and when you lived inside of me there was nothing I would have given to make you happy. But I must move on, because after you left…shit, I kept living in this crazy day dream world that had us being together. Having children and raising them to be strong and confident.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “You never asked, so, what I need now is closure to this dream Omari.”

  I was lost and ashamed; however I had accomplished what I came here for but I wasn’t feeling all that good about it either. I embraced my shame by lighting up a cigarette before I took what was coming to me.

  “Aw’ight, let’s do it.”

  “Did you ever love me Omari?”

  “I wanted to.”

  “Did you know I was married when you first came to me?”

  “Yes, I knew.”

  “So you used me?”

  “I didn’t see it that way Carmen. I guess, I guess, I was so mixed up after my divorce that I wasn’t thinking clearly. To be honest, I wanted to be loved and wanted, and you gave me all of those things. It wasn’t a problem until I realized what I was doing Carmen, and I guess the guilt and the memories of what happened to me became a little too much for me to bear.”

  “Did you ever love me Omari?”

  “Like I said…”

  “Would you stop bullshitin’ me and be honest.”

  “I am being honest.”

  “Look, after I leave here today, I promise I’ll call off of the dogs, okay.”

  “In the beginning, yeah, I fell in love with you.”

  Carmen nodded her head okay, stood up and kissed me gently on the lips and was about to make her exit when she turned around and said, “When we were together, Felton and I couldn’t have children.”

  “So who has the problem?”

  “Felton.”

  “I wish I could give him some of mines.”

  Carmen smiled confidently and said, “You already have Baby.”

  And just like that, the Carmen chapter of my life finally ended.

  “My sixty, to your forty five.”

  After my meeting with Carmen, I went home and talked to my daughter for a few hours before I tried to contact Nique. After what happened between Carmen, and me I decided to never let sleeping dogs lie. I couldn’t reach her on her cell phone even though I dialed it at least a dozen times. In the end, I left a message asking her to call me back whenever she got the chance. No sooner than after I gave up on that, Cece and Sharon called to inform me that the District Attorneys office for some reason or another decided not to continue investigating my personnel affairs as long I gave them a written statement explaining how and why I got involved with the congressmen. Of course I complained about the statement and was about to go into a fruitless rampage until Sharon politely explained how things could have been much worse.

  The sensible part of my male ego agreed and dropped the subject before Cece asked if I still wanted to talk to September. As always, Cece was being her usual nosy self, however it was important that I talked to September, so I told her about our lunch date. Sharon groaned out something sexist before she hung up, while Cece tried to warn me about the perils of hooking up with a woman whose been recently cheated on. After what happened with Carmen and the situation that I was in with Nique, love and anything attached to it seemed
a little far off, so I blew them both off and hung up. After that I tried to contact Zackary but I came up empty once again. Obviously, he wasn’t ready to talk to me just yet. This hurt, but it was his life. I decided to give Zackary the space that he was demanding.

  The following day I was back to the grind and feeling damn good about myself seeing how I wasn’t public enemy number one anymore. However, that good feeling wore off as work and more work came at me from all angles. But through it all, I kept finding myself thinking about Carmen, and even considered calling her until I decided to leave what was done, done. I learned a great deal about myself from Carmen and in some strange way it felt good knowing and understanding what I did wrong with her. That’s why I made that promise to never leave anything unresolved in a relationship. Which would explain why I kept trying to reach Nique, but I guess like Zackary, Nique needed some time away from me too.

  My last gig before my lunch date with September was going to be an enjoyable one because I had the chance to cook with a good friend named Cadenza Balfour. Cadenza owned one Atlanta’s most exclusive Italian restaurant named Cadenza’s. From time to time she would invite me to assist her whenever she was slated to personally cook for one of her many esteemed patrons. Born in small Italian town named Treviso, which is about thirty kilometers from Venice, Cadenza was comical, sexy in a mature way, and a born chef. The chef part came about because both of her parents where world famous chefs, not to mention two of the shrewdest business minded people I had ever encountered outside of Cadenza herself. The Balfours owned and operated a dozen or so Italian restaurants throughout the world, which meant Cadenza didn’t really need to go to school to learn her craft. But she did, and that’s how we met and became friends.