by Jacob Clark
Chapter 2: Back to that whole “Keep an open mind” thing:
Here’s a prime example.
Once we decided we were going to declare our own personal war on erectile dysfunction we saw our first step as finding out all we could about the various techniques for treating it.
We made a pact going in… no matter how outlandish or bizarre the treatment was, we’d at least consider it rationally before we cast it out.
We looked to see whether it had merit. Meaning, did it come from a reasonably reliable source. Was it written up in any medical journals? Was it the result of a study somewhere? And if so, where was the study performed? Was it conducted, for example, at a known college or university? Or was it studied by a manufacturer trying to push its own product?
We looked to see what the claimed results were. And whether the results were believable. We tried to shy away from outlandish claims, such as magical pills which promised to, in their words, “make your dick hard as a rock, and make it four inches longer too.” Size wasn’t our problem. Getting and keeping an erection was.
We looked not only at American and British methods and techniques and products, but those all over the world. Our thinking was that people in the U.S. or England don’t have a monopoly on ED, although we do seem to have way more than our share of pricks (most of them in political office or the recording industry). Some of the best techniques, believe it or not, came from the Asian countries. They seem to take ED very seriously over there. Perhaps that explains why China has so many people.
We looked at oral stimulants and supplements with a wary eye. We were open to any and all suggestions, but didn’t want to put anything in Jacob’s mouth which might be harmful to him.
Those were our guidelines as we pored over medical journals, dove head first into the internet, and queried both of our doctors, as well as several personal friends in the medical field.
One of our discoveries (and one of our favorites), applies a very common-sense approach.
It reminds us that the penis is, in essence, a muscle. In that respect, it’s not much different than our arms and legs.
Well, there is some difference. We don’t try to stuff an arm or a leg into a vagina. That would be painful.
If we don’t exercise our legs, for example, they become soft and lazy. If we don’t exercise them for a long enough period of time, they begin to atrophy.
Eventually, they become useless.
The Japanese applied the same logic to the penis. The longer we don’t use it, the lazier and less cooperative it becomes. If we exercise it by using it frequently, it can react (sometimes, not always) in the same manner those legs will if we start walking or working them out at the gym.
In other words, it may be possible your penis is just out of shape from disuse or too-infrequent use.
So what to do?
According to the Japanese, we need to get it erect or semi-erect, even if it’s just temporary and we don’t do anything with it.
And we need to do it several times a day.
That’s why this was one of our most favorite techniques.
We called this our “Ed Project.” As in Ed, the name, not the condition. It became an innocuous way of referring to a thing that had important implications, while at the same time was rather fun. It became somewhat of a game for us.
From Michelle:
I’ve always loved playing with Jacob’s dick. I think part of it was penis envy, as cliché as that may sound. It always kind of pissed me off a bit that I didn’t have one of my very own. I was jealous of guys because they had one and I didn’t.
The other part of it was… well, I just liked playing with it. It gave him pleasure. It made me wet. It led to lovemaking before the ED monster came into our lives. And it became my best hope of getting Jacob’s dick back on track.
Our goal was to make him hard or semi-hard eight to ten times a day. It didn’t matter how or where, or how long he stayed hard. But rather just to get him there.
It wasn’t much different than going to the gym and working your arms or your legs.
Except that if you worked your dick at the gym you’d likely cause quite a stir.
Usually I have the first turn of each day, because I almost always wake up first.
I find his dick under the covers and begin fondling it. It almost always starts to stir immediately. I remember to caress his balls also, because that helps him to get hard as well.
I stimulate his dick in a variety of ways, since what works great one day might not work at all the next.
If I need to I’ll crawl under the covers and suck him, or climb on top of him and rub his dick against my clit.
Some of that (or all of it) always works to get him at least semi-hard.
Then, to use a rather harsh sounding term, I drop him like a hot potato.
It’s not to be mean.
It’s to get him back into the habit of getting hard. And by doing it several times a day it becomes more of a habit, and helps get this particular muscle (my favorite one) back into shape.
From Jacob:
As I said earlier, I masturbated a lot as a teenager. I think we all did. At least all of us guys. Most men would be embarrassed to admit that, but I believe it to be true.
I’d gotten (mostly) out of the habit of masturbating over the years, thanks mainly to finding Michelle and the great sex life we’ve enjoyed.
Over the past few years I’ve used masturbation mainly as an occasional tool. Say, for example, when I was in the mood but Michelle was sound asleep and I didn’t want to wake her. Or when I was in the mood and she was sick or out of town on a business trip.
My penis and my right hand were no longer the frequent partners they once were. They became more like friends with benefits.
One of the primary reasons I blame myself for my ED was because I should have seen it coming and prevented it. I firmly believe in the “use it or lose it” principle. I should have masturbated frequently when I was abroad. I didn’t. I didn’t use it, therefore I lost it.
Maybe. We’ll never really know. But whether that was the main cause or not, I did indeed lose it.
And I was determined to get it back.
So I was as excited as Michelle about the theory that by exercising the penis several times a day, we might be able to “get it back into shape.”
As Michelle said, she typically fondles me first thing in the morning. I have to say, even after all these years it’s the best way to wake up. Far better than coffee, even.
Sometimes her morning fondling leads to sex, since I’ve gotten my hard-ons back. As often than not, though, it’s just a pleasant way to wake up.
On the days when we make love, I typically ejaculate and then he’s down for the count for the rest of the day.
On the days when we don’t enjoy a great round of early morning sex, she fondles me until I’m erect and then abandons me.
That may sound harsh, but that’s the technique. And it, when combined with other things, seems to work.
That’s not the end of it. According to the Japanese study it must be done at least six times a day. Eight to ten is the optimal amount.
I typically make myself hard again in my morning shower, using the “massage” option on my shower head to help with the process. I don’t allow myself to ejaculate, though, stopping just short of it.
At least twice a day, while I’m at work, I lock my office door and turn on some internet porn to help stimulate me, then fondle myself to erection. Then, just when it really starts being fun, I stop.
I’m a prick tease.
This continues when we get home from work. If it’s my turn to cook dinner, Michelle will sometimes come up behind me and reach around to play with my penis. This is facilitated, of course, by the fact that I’ve taken up the habit of running around the house nude on the nights we’re not expecting company.
More on that later.
If Michelle is cooking I typically masturbate (but not to compl
etion. Never to completion) while she’s doing so.
After dinner, if we’re not going out, we generally watch TV to catch up on the news, and sometimes stream one of our favorite shows to watch.
One of the many nice things about being married to Michelle is that she never seems to tire of having her hands on my body.
She says it’s one of her favorite things.
It’s one of mine too.
While we’re watching TV she gently kneads my testicles or plays with my penis in a variety of ways. Sometimes she goes down on me. Sometimes she merely rests her hand upon it.
Sometimes she pauses when it becomes hard, and that’s okay.
Sometimes she takes me farther, and relies on me to tell her when I’m getting close so she’ll know when to back off.
According to the theory, this method not only helps the penis to “relearn” the act of getting erect. It also helps stimulate the testicles. Which, in turn, makes them produce semen. Which, in turn, increases the pressure in the testicles, since they’ll want to eject the semen and get rid of it.
Having your testicles full or partially full of semen helps stimulate the penis, since they work closely together.
And that, of course, helps the whole process.
So, then, to recap…
One technique we used successfully on the long journey to my (our) recovery was the technique of frequent penis stimulation. At least six times a day is recommended, with eight to ten times per day being the optimal goal.
For us, this was one of the most fun techniques in our ED Tool Box, because it required seemingly constant physical touching, which we both (as it turns out) love.
As an added benefit, it was something we could do together. Versus, for example, me taking a pill and hoping for the best.
To that regard, it enabled us to put forth a united front… teamwork, if you will… and gave us a sense we were working together to help defeat the ED monster.
Erectile Dysfunction Tool Box Thus Far: 1 Item
1. Frequent penis stimulation
Chapter 3: Continuing with that whole “Keep an open mind” thing:
A little pain can go a long way.
Men are like snowflakes.
No two are alike.
And just as men have their own preferences when it comes to, say, the foods they like to eat, the same can be said for their sexual appetites.
Some men, when it comes to choosing a sexual partner, prefer blondes (reminds us of an old movie…). Some men prefer brunettes or redheads.
For some men, they don’t care. They’re desperate and just want to get laid, and don’t much care what their partner looks like.
Most men, while they may have a preference in hair color, wisely use several other factors when choosing a partner. Whether the chemistry is there. Whether there’s something other than sex on which to base a relationship. Whether there’s the promise for love. Whether the partner is stable and caring and a good person.
The same preferences hold true for short partners or tall ones. Caucasian, black or Asian partners. Thin or a few extra pounds.
Every man is different. Every woman is different.
We select our sexual partners, and our life partners as well, based on those preferences.
And just for the record, there’s nothing wrong with having preferences. After all, preferences are nothing
more than a process with which we can “weed out” the noncompatible.
Let’s take that one step further.
Just as men have their preferences for sexual partners, they also have their personal preferences for the type of sex they like to have.
Most men want their penis gently massaged. Or tenderly kissed. They love to feel their manhood kneaded, a tongue or soft lips upon the head. That same tongue and same soft lips working their way up and down his shaft.
But not all men are that way.
Some men are a little more daring. A bit more reckless.
In the same way some men put hot sauce on their food and others don’t, some men like a bit of excitement (for lack of a better term) in their sexual repertoire.
The Chinese have been toying with the idea of using acupuncture needles to gently poke the head of a penis to stimulate it. It’s not for everyone, but for a surprising number, it works very well.
From Michelle:
I was with several men before Jacob came along. With most of them it was nothing serious. I was engaged to one man, though, two years before I met Jacob. I realized he wasn’t the man I thought he was, and I broke off the engagement. He wound up going to prison for crimes of anger and was there for several years. I’ve thanked God many times over the years for getting out of that relationship for a couple of reasons.
First of all, had I not broken up with the man I might well have been the target of some of that anger.
And secondly, I never would have had the chance to meet and fall madly in love with Jacob, who is and always will be the man of my dreams.
I only mention my past relationships as a precursor to this: There were other men before Jacob. Jacob did not take my virginity and was far from my first.
But Jacob’s dick is the only one which ever scared me.
The first time I saw it I thought I’d never be able to accommodate it. I did, of course, but that first time had me worried.
One of the things we realized early on was that his size (and the fact I have a very small mouth) was going to be an issue. Try as I might, I couldn’t avoid my teeth getting in the way. I occasionally bit him or scraped my teeth against him.
I certainly didn’t mean to, at least not at first. It just happened.
When it did I apologized, and worried that I hurt him. He finally told me he rather liked it. It didn’t hurt him at all, and that it added a little bit of “spice” (as he called it) to an otherwise ordinary blow job.
Mind you, I never bit him hard enough to draw blood or to cause him any serious or permanent damage.
But he did enjoy it. So when I stumbled across a Chinese method of using pins to stimulate a flaccid penis into having an erection, I thought this might be something he’d be willing to try.
From Jacob:
You have to remember it was the Chinese who invented acupuncture, which is used to relieve pain all over the world. I myself have never tried acupuncture, and would probably be the last one to subscribe to it.
But I don’t have an aversion to pain, in limited intensity and limited doses, as a part of a normal and healthy sexual diet.
Michelle mentioned her tendency to accidentally bite me or to scrape me with her teeth while having sex.
She was quite surprised when I told her I enjoyed it. Now then, I never told her to intentionally chew on the darned thing. But an occasionally nip was quite pleasurable to me.
I told her I equated it with my dietary tastes. Some men don’t like spicy foods. I, on the other hand, love them. I pour hot sauce on my hot sauce, and still complain that my food is bland.
Perhaps I like my sex the same way.
A tiny stab of pain is served best when you don’t know it’s coming. That leads me to believe that the buildup, or anticipation, is what makes the act itself more pleasurable.
Apparently the technique was developed not by acupuncturists or medical professionals, but by university students experimenting with their own ideas for might bring life back to a flaccid penis.
Michelle suggested we try it, and I, being the open-minded kind of guy I am, readily agreed.
The technique involves manual stimulation, punctuated occasionally (several times per minute) with a gentle poke from the tip of a pin to the head of the penis. Always in a different place, so that the
owner of the penis doesn’t know when the next stick is coming, or where.
Just as I think the anticipation of a nip from my wife during oral sex adds to the pleasure, I believe the mysterious nature of this technique adds to the stimulation.
I might note that we didn�
�t run out and buy a set of acupuncture needles. We didn’t want to purchase something we’d never use again if we didn’t like the technique or it didn’t work for us.
Instead, Michelle visited the sewing and notions aisle at our local Walmart and bought a container of little stick pins with colorful ball heads, about an inch or so long.
She started by massaging my penis as I lay back on the bed with my eyes closed. In one hand she held my penis and in the other hand the pin, so she was able to poke me when and where the mood struck her.
I have to say, this was one of the most enjoyable of all the techniques we tried.
I’ll be the first to recognize this might not be for everybody, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it definitely worked for me. Only one time did it fail to make me semi-erect (or better), and that was just two days after we had sex and I ejaculated completely. That was before I learned the technique of holding some back, which we’ll talk about later. My testicles were more or less empty, which doesn’t bode well for any efforts to obtain an erection.
I should also point out that this isn’t the massive stab of agonizing pain that many of you may imagine it to be.
There is no blood. The pin never breaks the skin nor leaves any marks.
I would equate the actual pain it generates to feeling not unlike the bite of a mosquito.
Except in this case, you get to keep your blood.
Remember, keeping an open mind is key to finding what works for you. Discard this idea if you wish. But as I said, it’s one of the things which worked best for me.
And who knows? You just might decide you like it.
Erectile Dysfunction Tool Box Thus Far: 2 Items
1. Frequent penis stimulation
2. Pin stimulation to penis head