by Joanna Rees
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Tina said, putting her hand to her chest.
‘Then she met Chan, who came to stay,’ Leila said, as a peace offering, ‘and they fell in love.’
‘I refused to go,’ Chan interjected, briefly, before going back to ‘Moonlight Serenade’.
‘How romantic,’ Tina said.
‘It is. They really should make a movie. Don’t you think this place would make a perfect film set?’ Leila said.
‘That’s enough. You know perfectly well I’m not having any film crews traipsing around here,’ Bibi said. ‘And now I think it’s time for you to go to bed, young lady,’ she added.
‘But—’
‘Go.’ There was a moment of silence, then a crackling and the lights came on again. Someone must have turned on the generator in the basement. ‘Oh good,’ Bibi said, giving Leila one of her stern but affectionate looks. Then she squeezed Leila’s hand and patted her face gently, and Leila knew that, as always, she would do as she was told.
Besides, with the lights back on, the magic seemed broken, and dutifully Leila said goodnight to the guests under Bibi’s watchful eye. She kissed Chan and he pinched her nose and winked at her. He knew she liked being part of the grown-up talk.
She dawdled, knowing that as soon as she was out of sight, she’d be out of mind. She wandered down towards the pool, planning to listen from below the balcony, where the night jasmine circled the terrace’s struts.
Silently, she sat down on the edge of the pool, dipping her feet in the water. Insects danced, breaking its surface. Leila wondered if she’d get in trouble for stripping off and going for a swim, when Bibi had told her to go to bed. She breathed in and gazed up between the palm trees to where the black sky was glittering with stars.
Above her, she could hear Chan at the bar mixing another drink for Teddy. He’d have another himself, too, no doubt, even though he knew Bibi disapproved of how much alcohol he consumed. But he always said that it greased the wheels and made the guests happy.
‘She’s certainly a spirited girl,’ she heard Teddy say. ‘She’s clearly very taken with Tina. I hope if we have a child, she’ll be just like your Leila.’
‘That’s kind of you to say. We think she’s wonderful, but she’s growing up so fast. We have a tutor for her, but I’m not sure it’s doing her any good,’ Chan replied.
‘Why don’t you send her to school? There’s plenty of good boarding schools in England. In fact, I am a governor for a girls’ school in Surrey. I could make some calls. I’m sure I could secure her a place. It’s a marvellous girls’ school and just what she needs, if you ask me. Tina? Tina, what do you think about Chan and Bibi sending Leila to Hillmain?’
‘Oh, Teddy, that’s a brilliant idea.’
Leila’s heart lurched, her legs stopping in the water.
‘We could never afford the fees,’ Chan said.
‘I could enquire about a bursary. Pull a few strings.’
‘We could not possibly ask such a favour,’ Chan said. ‘What do you think, Bibi? It would make sense, yes? Particularly now, when we’re so busy over the spring.’
Leila waited for Bibi to laugh off the suggestion, to give one of thousands of reasons why it would be a bad idea.
‘It’s halfway through the academic year, surely?’ Bibi said.
‘That’s not a problem. She could start in January. At the start of the term. I know the headmistress. I could send her a fax.’
Leila felt an icicle of dread plummet inside her. They wouldn’t send her away. Would they? She stared up between the trees and there, suddenly, she saw a shooting star. Remembering Parva’s advice from when she was little, to always wish upon a star, Leila squeezed her eyes shut. Let me stay on Lace Island for the rest of my life. Please. No matter what. I’ll do anything . . .
CHAPTER SIX
London, present day
Oh God. This was just like a real fire.
Jess heard her breathing loud in her ears, the mask tight over her face, her ears ringing with the fire siren. It was training. Just training. She’d probably never be in a fire like this . . . ever. Even so, her heart pounded, knowing that any second, the door to the smoke-filled chamber would open and that she and Claire, her training buddy for today, would both have to crawl inside.
Keep calm, Jess told herself. She had to get through this and the medical, and then she’d have done it. She couldn’t fail now.
This was the final module on her training programme and the one that she’d been dreading, although practising the raft evacuation in the freezing drizzle yesterday had been pretty tough. For the past six weeks, she’d been in the classroom for ten hours a day and then racing back to the flat to revise for the module tests, and so far she hadn’t failed one. She’d learnt everything from the procedures for opening doors and going into the cockpit to what to do if someone went into labour on a flight, and she’d loved every second.
Jess was determined not to mess this up. She’d written out the trainer’s mantras and stuck them to her wall: I treat everyone as an individual; I do things properly; I look the part. She was determined to prove she was a team player. And now she was so close to finishing her training, she wanted this more than ever.
She certainly looked the part now, she thought, in her boiler suit and mask. She felt herself sweating under the suit, the blouse of her uniform clinging to her, but she was determined to be strong. Not only for her but for Claire, who had been feeling wobbly all morning.
Poor Claire. She had a terrible hangover from the hen weekend she’d been on, she’d told Jess. Jess had been amazed she’d gone when there was so much revision to do, but Claire had said it was her best friend and she hadn’t been able to get out of it. Jess wondered whether she’d have made such a huge sacrifice for Angel, but she couldn’t imagine Angel getting married. Not now. Not to Weasel. Besides, Angel had been totally unsupportive throughout this whole training process. The last time they’d spoken, Angel had accused Jess of dumping her – which was rich, all things considered. She hadn’t dumped Angel; she’d just embraced a new opportunity, but Angel clearly didn’t see it like that.
She tried to read Claire’s expression, but she couldn’t behind the mask.
‘You go in and crawl right through the cabin to the other end,’ the instructor was saying. ‘There are two dummies to locate like this,’ he said, holding up two rubber dolls. ‘You’ll need to open the door in the dark at the end. You guys ready?’
Jess nodded, and she and Claire stumbled to the door. Then the instructor nodded and backed away and they were on their own.
Jess fumbled with the door into the chamber. Inside, it was entirely filled with smoke. Suddenly, Jess heard a scream behind her.
‘What?’ she shouted, through her mask.
Claire’s eyes were wide with terror. She gripped on to Jess like she was drowning. Her feet were planted on the floor, her knees shaking. ‘I can’t do it. I can’t.’
She began to sob and Jess gripped her shoulders. ‘You can.’
‘I can’t. I can’t do it.’
‘We have to get to the other end. Just hold on to me, OK?’
Jess got down onto all fours, directing Claire to do the same. It was almost impossible to see anything in front of her. Instead, trying to keep her breathing steady, she progressed forward through the cabin, feeling beneath the seats and on them until she’d located the two dummies. All the while, she could hear Claire sobbing into her mask behind her.
Jess stopped at the far end of the cabin, gripping Claire’s upper arms, staring into her eyes through the mask. ‘We’re nearly there.’
Sweating, she groped forward, opened the complicated aircraft door and slid it open. Pulling Claire through with her, they collapsed on the other side in the training corridor.
Jess pulled off Claire’s mask. ‘It’s OK. It’s all over,’ she said, giving her a hug.
Claire heaved in a breath before smoothing her blonde hair. Her heavily made-up eyes
were smudged.
‘Don’t say anything, Jess. Please. Don’t. They’ll fail me if they know what happened.’
Jess nodded, feeling torn, but she could see how desperate Claire was.
‘How was that?’ their trainer asked, coming into the room.
Jess helped Claire get to her feet.
‘No problem,’ Claire said.
‘Jess?’
‘Fine. It was fine. Here,’ she said, handing over the dummies. She didn’t look at Claire. How could she fake it so convincingly? She’d been having a full-on panic attack just minutes ago.
‘Good work, ladies,’ he said, putting a tick on the clipboard.
‘You’re a rock, Jess,’ Claire said. ‘I owe you one.’ She laughed lightly, as if nothing had happened, then walked towards where the others were getting a debriefing in the coffee room.
Jess followed a little way behind, and in the corridor, Mr Spencer, the course leader, stopped her. ‘Everything OK, Jess?’ he asked.
His eyes bored into hers. Did he know that Claire had panicked? Jess felt her throat go dry, but she couldn’t back out of her lie now.
‘Sure. It was fine.’
She smiled confidently and then walked away to join the others. She’d get away with the lie. It was more important to back up a mate, wasn’t it? And Claire was a mate. All her fellow trainees were. She was part of a team, and Jess would do whatever it took to back them up.
By the end of the week, Jess couldn’t keep her rising sense of euphoria down. She’d been told she’d passed all the modules – even the complicated first-aid training. Just one interview more after her medical and she’d be cleared to fly. She couldn’t wait to find out where she’d be going first on her practice flight.
Jess smiled at Mr Spencer as she sat down on the other side of the desk in his office. She stared at the photographs of the training graduates adorning the walls. She was the last of her team to come here for the verdict and could feel her stomach dancing with butterflies.
‘So. There’s good and bad news.’
‘Oh?’ Jess wrung her hands in her lap.
‘Your friend Claire failed the medical,’ he said.
‘She did?’
‘I’m not at liberty to disclose the details, but she admitted herself that she’d had what she called a very “heavy” weekend.’
The hen weekend. Claire had been going on about her best friend’s wedding since the beginning of the course. She wouldn’t have taken drugs, would she?
‘There were other reasons that she failed her medical. Not least of all her anxiety problem.’
‘Oh?’
‘You don’t have to look like that, Jess. We know what happened in the smoke chamber. Claire told us. And she told us, too, that you covered for her.’
‘I—’ Jess began, then stopped. She could see from the look on Mr Spencer’s face that covering for her had been a bad idea.
‘You lied.’
Jess swallowed hard. ‘I didn’t think . . . I mean—’
‘No. You didn’t think. And we require all our cabin crew to do just that. To think about the safety of the passengers. If your crew are not up to the job, it’s your duty to report it.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’
‘Which leaves me with a dilemma,’ he said, tapping his pen on the desk. ‘You are one of my most promising candidates, but because of what has happened, technically I shouldn’t pass you.’
Jess closed her eyes. She should never have lied for Claire.
‘Please. Please just give me a chance,’ she said. ‘It will never happen again. I absolutely promise.’
Mr Spencer sighed. ‘This will have to go on your training report.’
‘I understand.’
‘So you cannot afford to make another mistake.’
‘I won’t, sir. You’ll see.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
Surrey, England, 1990
Leila stood in the lunch queue in the canteen of Hillmain School holding her metal tray, trying not to make eye contact with any of the girls. Even so, she could hear them behind her whispering and she stepped forward, pretending not to notice. Her blisters screamed on her feet in the horrible clumpy school shoes, and her back itched where the shirt and scratchy wool of her blazer rubbed. She wished she could dump her tray and run. But to where?
She still couldn’t believe that she was actually here. In England. It felt as if the past week had been a nightmarish blur. She thought about Lace Island constantly, each memory gouging a terrible scar on her heart. It felt so far away, it was so far away, that it might as well have been on a different planet. When she’d been told to show where Lace Island was on the giant globe in the geography class earlier, it hadn’t even been a tiny pinprick. And now no one believed it even existed.
She shuffled again in the queue, thinking of Bibi and the night she’d announced that she was sending Leila away. Leila had been waiting up for her, convinced that Bibi must have refused the Everdenes’ offer, but as she’d slowly sat on the edge of Leila’s four-poster bed, Leila had seen the truth in her eyes.
‘You can’t make me go,’ Leila had protested, flinging aside the mosquito nets and staring at Bibi, who didn’t seem at all surprised that Leila had eavesdropped on the adults’ conversation.
Bibi had smiled gently and reached out to stroke Leila’s hair, but Leila had ducked out of the way. She’d been too furious to be touched.
‘You are a woman now, my love. And an intelligent one, at that. Don’t be afraid of the world. Go out and embrace it.’
‘You don’t. You stay here. Why can’t I be like you?’
Her mother had sighed. ‘It’s for the best.’
‘But why? Why now? I’m doing well at my lessons. Well enough at least.’
‘Timothy can’t teach you about the world. You don’t find that in books. You find that out by meeting people. Experiencing new places.’
‘I don’t want to. I like it here best. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t I stay here and learn with Rasa?’
‘Rasa. Rasa. That’s all you ever talk about. It’s not healthy for you to have just one friend you do lessons with. And you are both changing. Very soon, things won’t be the same.’
‘They will,’ Leila had exclaimed, unaccountably furious at her mother’s insinuations.
‘They won’t. You are no longer a child, Leila. I should have sent you away long ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to let you go. But now it’s time.’
‘How can you say that? How can you?’ Leila had turned away from her mother and flung herself into her pillow and wept.
After that, she’d expected Bibi to relent, but she’d just become more determined that Leila was going. Chan had helped her pack a trunk, bubbling with falsely cheerful promises, when all the time Leila’s heart had been breaking.
Saying goodbye to Rasa had been the worst. As she’d left on the plane with the Everdenes, he’d arrived, out of breath on his bike, to see her one last time. She’d watched him through the small porthole, his eyes boring into hers, and she’d known that as painful as it was to her to leave, it was even more painful for him to have to stay.
She’d slumped into a tearful depression, hardly taking in the long, uncomfortable flights, or the busy train station in London. Tina had gushed all the way about what a wonderful time she’d have, how she’d make friends she’d have for life, but when Teddy Everdene had dropped her off at the school, Leila had known he was glad to see the back of her and that all their promises had been lies.
Because it was hell here. She didn’t understand what was expected of her – only that she was continually in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most of the lessons had gone completely over her head, and as for friends? That was a joke. Everyone was treating her like she was some kind of freak. Nobody seemed to believe her about Lace Island, or how special it was. Instead, they called her names and teased her.
Now, she walked level to the canteen hatch. Her stomach was growling, but
it turned as she looked at the food on offer. How did people eat this stuff? She longed for Anjum’s dosas, and the idli and sambhar he made especially for her. What she wouldn’t give to be in the kitchen at home now, with its cool marble slab and the smell of ginger and nutmeg.
‘Look, it’s the darkie,’ she heard the one with the grey teeth say to the fat one. ‘No foreign curry here, love. Have some proper English stew.’
Leila fought down her sense of injustice at their all-too-familiar casual racism, as the dinner lady deposited some grey-looking gristle in gravy on her plate. As they laughed at her, she longed to hurl her tray at them. How dare they speak to her like that?
But she knew it was useless. And she knew that if she didn’t eat this, then like the last few nights, she’d be so hungry it would be impossible to sleep.
Not that sleeping was easy in the freezing dormitory. She was in the cubicle that nobody wanted, nearest the housemistress’s office. Mrs Gorrall had a ferocious reputation and had thankfully largely ignored Leila so far, but it seemed that certain rules were for some of the pupils and not for others. Edwina, for example, was queen bee in their dormitory and never got into trouble for whispering late into the night with her friends, whereas Mrs Gorrall had confiscated Leila’s book when she’d caught her reading past lights-out. She’d been enjoying the book, too.
Miserably, Leila moved on and then collected a black-cherry yoghurt and a glass of orange squash before surveying the long lines of wooden tables where the girls sat opposite each other, chatting. She couldn’t understand why they laughed at her behind their hands. Was it something she was doing? Or wearing? On Lace Island, she’d always been accepted and loved by everyone. Even the guests who came were friendly to her, so what had changed? What was so wrong with her?
She walked towards a table of some of the younger girls in the year below, smiling shyly, but they shifted up to close the gap where she could sit. Pretending not to notice, she moved on, spotting an empty table on the far side of the hall.
She sat down alone, staring at the yellow dumpling floating in the stew, feeling the girls’ stares on her back. And then she noticed Edwina, Elaine and Georgina, the bitchy girls from her dorm, walking down the canteen towards her, in formation. She could see the intent blazing in Edwina’s eyes, but she ignored it.