by T. K. Leigh
“Hey, peanut!” I said, bending down to hug her. “That’s a beautiful dress.”
“Thank you. I like your dress, too, Auntie Mackenzie.”
“Oh, Melanie, I’m not your aunt.”
“But you like Uncle Tyler, right?”
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
“And he likes you, right?”
I glanced up at Tyler as I remained crouched on the ground. “He does. At least last I checked.”
“Have you kissed?” she asked quietly.
I laughed at her innocence. “Yes.”
“Then you’re my aunt!”
“Melanie, love, why don’t you come show Grandma some of your new toys I’ve been hearing so much about,” Tyler’s mother cut in, saving me from having to respond.
Melanie’s eyes widened at the thought of showing off her new things, and she ran from me, dragging Colleen through the living area and down a set of stairs.
“Kids,” Tyler said, nudging me as I stood.
“She’s cute. And seems to be very observant.”
“She certainly is.” He helped me out of my jacket and I was thankful I thought to wear a dress. I normally would have just put on a pair of jeans and a nice top but, after meeting his family and realizing the wealth that surrounded him, I thought it better to put on something a bit more formal. Of course, I still felt out of place. I’m sure everyone else was wearing a designer I couldn’t even pronounce. My dress came from a thrift store.
“Would you two like anything to drink?” Olivia asked. “I have coffee, orange juice, mimosa, Bloody Mary?”
I glanced at Tyler, unsure of how to respond. I had never felt as intimidated as I did around his family. I felt as if they were all judging me. One wrong choice or move could be the death knell for us.
Tyler gave me an encouraging smile. “I’ll make a few Bloody Marys. I know you like yours spicy, Mackenzie.”
Olivia’s eyes widened. “You do?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess that’s what happens when you live in Texas all your life and have a mother who learned to cook from her mother in Panama. You grow up liking things spicy.”
“Well, come on then,” she said, grabbing my hand. “The men in this family are complete babies when it comes to heat. I, myself, am just like you, although I didn’t live in Texas my whole life, but I like to bring the heat.”
“Just watch out for her,” a booming voice cut through. I jumped, looking into Alexander’s eyes as he approached his wife, kissing her affectionately on the neck. “You could get burned.” He met my gaze and forced a smile.
Tyler could sense my anxiety and slinked his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I immediately felt more at ease, but I couldn’t help but think his brother knew all my secrets. It rattled me.
“Will you excuse us for a minute, Mackenzie?” Olivia asked, smiling warmly at me.
“Sure,” I said.
“Don’t worry, Libby,” Tyler said. “I’ll make some drinks.”
“Make one for your mom, too.”
“You got it.” He opened the refrigerator and began pulling out ingredients to make our drinks.
Turning around, I admired the view of his backside, thankful to have a moment when it was just us.
He peered over his shoulder at me, grinning. “See something you like, Miss Delano?”
Biting my lip, I slowly nodded. “Yes, Mr. Burnham. I sure do.”
His arms full, he kicked the refrigerator door closed and stalked over to the breakfast bar, placing the items on the counter. He planted his hands on the marble, trapping me in place.
“And what’s that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
“You,” I admitted. “I love you.”
He closed the distance between our lips and murmured, “I love you, too, Mackenzie.”
I grabbed his neck and forced his mouth to mine, kissing him sweetly and softly. For a minute, I forgot about where I was. I no longer cared what his brother or the rest of his family thought of me. All that mattered was what Tyler thought of me, and he loved me.
His love was beautiful, simple, perfect. It was all I needed to chase away the demons that had pervaded my existence for years. With Tyler’s love, I could get through anything. And I knew he felt the same way.
“Ooooooh,” a child’s voice cut through our intimate moment. “Grandma, look! They’re kissing!”
I tore my lips from Tyler’s, embarrassed.
“Melanie, sweetie, don’t be rude. That’s what two people do when they love each other.”
Colleen’s eyes met mine and I could see her happiness.
“Are you going to marry him?” Melanie asked.
“I…”
“You should. If you love each other, you should get married and have a baby. I want a cousin to play with.”
“Munchkin…,” Tyler said.
“I’d share my toys!”
Tyler’s face grew red and he looked to his mother for help. “Ma, want to handle this, please?”
“You mean to tell me you don’t know how to handle a five-year-old?” she scoffed, grabbing one of the Bloody Marys Tyler had prepared. “I’m not helping you on this one, mainly because I’m on her side. I’d like some more grandbabies and, well… I think you and Mackenzie would make some beautiful children. So you have my permission to pull the goalie.”
My eyes grew wide and I nearly spit out my drink, Tyler choking on his, as well.
“I may be old, but I remember how these things work.”
“I need to powder my nose,” I said quickly, needing a minute.
“It’s down the hall. Last door on the left,” Colleen offered.
“Thank you, Mrs. Burnham.”
Smiling in appreciation, I headed in the direction she had pointed. Approaching the end of the hallway, I overheard angry voices, and I slowed my steps, suddenly feeling as if I was somewhere I shouldn’t be, hearing things I shouldn’t hear.
“Olivia,” Alexander’s voice said dryly, “don’t assume you know anything about this situation.”
“Situation?” she said in disbelief. “You’re calling your brother’s relationship a situation?”
“That’s exactly what it is. It’s a situation I need to handle.”
“What do you have against the poor girl? Why can’t you just−”
“She’s a goddamn asset, Olivia,” he hissed in a barely audible voice. “He’s working an assignment for me!”
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and I quickly covered my mouth to mute my cries. I tried to put one foot in front of the other, but I couldn’t. I was glued to the conversation, scared but wanting to know more.
“An assignment?” Olivia asked. “What kind of assignment?”
“That girl’s father is dangerous and we need her to lead us to him.”
No, no, no, I thought in my head, fighting back the tears. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I replayed the previous several weeks in my mind. Tyler tricked me. He said everything he could to manipulate me into telling him what he wanted. And it worked. It fucking worked.
“By dating her?”
“It was decided the best chance we had at finding out that information was for him to get as close as he could. Make her trust him, and then−”
“You are unbelievable, you know that? This was your idea, wasn’t it? Tyler loves her, Alex! Genuinely loves her. I can see it!”
“No, he doesn’t,” Alexander said. “He just needed to make her think he did. Maybe he thinks he does, but that’s not love. That’s someone trying to forget about his past and using sex to do so. That boy doesn’t love her any more than he loves any of the other countless women he’s been with since Melanie.”
Tears streamed down my face as everything became clear. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. In a split second, everything I thought was good and pure and true was revealed as lies. History had repeated itself and I was so angry I had allowed myself to fall into the same trap. Did I not lea
rn anything from Charlie? As quickly as Tyler’s supposed love tore down those walls, I rebuilt them, becoming marble, impenetrable, a person without feelings.
In a daze, I retreated down the hallway, my footsteps light. All the blood had rushed from my face and there was an excruciating pressure building in my chest, in my heart, in my lungs as I came face-to-face with the man who tempted me to eat his forbidden fruit and I willingly submitted.
His expression dropped when he saw me. “Mackenzie, what’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
“How did you know my middle name was Sophia?” I asked, my voice soft.
“What are you talking about? You probably told me.”
Biting my lower lip to hide my quivering chin, I shook my head. “No, Tyler. I never did.”
He took a few steps toward me. “Mackenzie, I−”
“Stop! Just stop!” I interrupted, backing up.
His eyes widened at the tone of my voice before settling into a knowing expression. Remorse covered his face, but the damage had been done.
“You found out didn’t you?” His shoulders dropped, the strong, confident man I knew so intimately nowhere to be seen.
“How could you?” I hissed, wiping at my cheeks. He didn’t deserve to see my tears.
“Do you think I liked having to lie to you?”
“If my memory serves me correctly, you seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit, sometimes several times a day!” I felt the eyes of his family on me, but I couldn’t hold back.
“You need to understand where I’m coming from, Mackenzie,” he pleaded. “It started out like you think, but then I met you−”
“Is that why you asked me to marry you? So that we’d have a legally binding agreement to be together? Then you could get any and all information you needed from me?”
“Tyler,” Alexander’s voice cut through and I spun around to see him standing next to Olivia. He looked human, his expression softer than I had seen over the past few days. “What is she talking about?”
“Exactly what she said,” I spat out, turning back around to face Tyler. “Last night, he asked me to marry him, telling me how much he loves me, and I was foolish enough to believe him. I should have…” I shook my head, stalking toward the kitchen island, grabbing my bag. “I should have known you had an ulterior motive. It was too easy, too perfect. I should have known it wasn’t real.”
“It was real for me!” Tyler shouted, catching up to me. “It is real.”
I spun back around, staring at Tyler’s family as they looked at me with worry and compassion in their eyes. I could see anger building in his mother’s face and I sensed she was not too pleased with her son’s behavior.
“Is it? I want to believe you. I really do. Part of me does. Part of me wants to see you as the prince who rode in on his horse to save me from a life of heartache. But another part of me sees you as the villain who will do whatever he needs in order to get exactly what he wants.”
I dashed out of the penthouse, frantically pressing the button for the elevator. The doors opened instantly and I stepped inside.
“I meant what I said!” Tyler cried, slamming his hands out to stop the doors as they began to close. Stepping into the elevator, his chest heaved, his nostrils flared. “You’re my lightning strike, Mackenzie.”
Eyeing him, my gaze softened. I approached him, our bodies close. I still felt that spark. I wondered if I always would, if anyone else would ever have that effect on me. I raised my hand, cupping his cheek, and he melted into it. Skin to skin. Flesh to flesh. Heartache to heartache.
But this time, he caused my heartache.
“Sometimes lightning burns, Tyler.”
Venom pooling in my veins, I reached back and slapped his face, my hand stinging from the impact. Taking advantage of his momentary shock, I reeled back and kneed him in the groin, causing him to moan in pain.
“Go ahead, Mackenzie!” he shouted, staring at me as he remained hunched over. I nearly took advantage of his vulnerability and pushed him out of the elevator, but stopped myself. My brain was screaming at me to destroy him as he destroyed me, to ruin him as he ruined me, but my heart was in control.
“Hurt me! Hate me! I want you to! I deserve it! I deserve everything you can do to me, Mackenzie, but you need to know something.”
The elevator began its descent and I remained still, unable to move.
He raised himself upright, his eyes intense. “I didn’t say anything,” he declared with passion in his voice. “When you found me last night at the dedication dinner and I was distant, that’s because my brother asked about your father. He asked me if I knew where he was, if you had told me. And you want to know what I said?”
I remained silent, shutting off.
“I said nothing, even after he warned me I could face potential prison time, or worse, if I withheld that information. So you can hate me all you want. You can bleed me dry and I will still bleed for you.” He planted his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in place just as he had done during our first meeting. My skin warmed and I longed for his touch, and I hated myself for responding that way.
“I can be an asset,” I began, my voice wavering, “or the love of your life. But I won’t be both.”
“What’s it going to take for me to prove to you that it’s the latter and not the former?” he asked urgently as the elevator slowed to a stop. He stared at me, panic written on his face.
“A lot more than words,” I said, meeting his eyes. “I can’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore.”
I ducked under his arm and headed out of the elevator, rushing through the revolving doors. As I scanned the sidewalk, I felt a hand grab my arm, pulling me. The next thing I knew, I was slammed against the brick wall, Tyler’s mouth on mine, his tongue plunging inside of me. I pushed against him, trying to rid myself of his touch.
“Go ahead!” he bellowed. “Fight me. I want you to! I want you to hurt me! Cut me! Kill me! I deserve it! My heart won’t beat without you!”
He pressed his mouth back to mine and I continued to struggle against him before relaxing into his arms. This felt so familiar, so normal, and as much as I tried to convince myself I loathed him, I knew it wasn’t true. One minute, I never wanted to see him again. The next, I never wanted to be apart from him, despite his betrayal. This was us. This was him, my duplicitous, confusing mystery man. And I knew I would walk through fire just to feel his touch.
But I never expected to get burned by the dragon himself.
Straightening my spine, I did everything I could to dissipate the fog that Tyler’s arms always caused in my head. His insidious, snakelike arms that I craved above everything.
I pushed against his chest, forcing him to stumble back, and ran down the street, hailing a cab. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him chasing after me.
“You stay away from me, Tyler!” I warned through my heavy sobs. “I can’t… I’m not going to let you hurt me again.”
“I won’t!” he said, his voice heavy with pain.
I wanted to believe him. My heart did believe him, but my brain was telling me he was just like every other man in my life…dishonest, shifty, cunning.
“There’s no possible way you won’t!” I exclaimed, wiping at the tears running down my face. “Every time I look at you, at your eyes, I’ll always wonder whether it’s real.”
A cab pulled up to the corner and I opened the door, frantic to get as far away from him as possible before I caved, begging him to hold me and promise me it would be okay.
“Please, Mackenzie…,” he pleaded.
“I should never have trusted my heart,” I whimpered. “The heart is impulsive and can’t be reasoned with.”
“Tell me what you want from me!” he shouted, his chest heaving. I inhaled at the look of remorse etched on his face, but it could have been an act, just like everything else.
“You really want to know?” I quivered.
“Yes! Just tell me. Whatever it is,
I’ll do it.”
“If you really care about me, if you really want to prove to me that it was real for you…” I stared long and hard into his green eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You’ll let me go.”
I took another step toward him, still feeling the heat coming off his body. I hated that he was the only man I’d ever met who made me feel as if I finally found my place in the world.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” I asked, sobs rolling through my body. A painful lump formed in my throat and I had to force the words from my mouth, as if my brain wanted to say them but my heart knew this was the wrong move. That I would regret it. “You need to let me go. Please,” I begged. “Let me go.”
“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted, brushing his thumb under my eye, wiping my tears away. I shivered from the contact. “I love you, Serafina.”
I whimpered at his declaration, but I didn’t know if it was true. I thought I knew what love was. Maybe I didn’t. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt.
“No,” I said finally. “There is no Serafina. There’s no Mackenzie. There’s nothing left to love.” I stood on my toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye, Tyler. Enjoy the lonely.”
Mackenzie
A MONSTER DOESN’T APPEAR with snarling lips and frightening eyes. He comes as everything you ever wished for and desired. And what makes him a monster is his ability to read you, to deceive you, to betray you. He lures you into his trap and persuades you to give him exactly what he wants. And he takes from you. He takes and takes and takes until there’s nothing left. You give him everything. Your heart, your soul, your existence. Everything. He leaves you empty and you become a ghost, sentenced to haunt the walls of your own body. Tears don’t fall, despite the lump in your throat and the pain in your heart. You realize that, even before you figured out you were sleeping with the devil, a part of you had already died. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You can’t exist. You wait for the tide to wash over you and carry you out to sea. You beg for something to take the misery and anguish away, but your pleas fall on empty, unsympathetic ears. You’re lost…