“What I don’t understand,” she said, stopping her pacing to stare at me, fire in her eyes, “is why you went through all the pretense of working with your cousins and saying it was about family if you were really just using Rose’s as a way to further your own career.”
I stared at her, mouth open. She couldn’t actually think that I would do that. She couldn’t.
“I was not trying to sell Rose’s,” I protested, feeling like I might be sick. “I would never, ever try to do that.”
“But you were using us to get yourself that interview in Chicago, weren’t you?”
“No! I didn’t know anything about that!”
Posey was watching my face closely. For the first time in our lives, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “So you’re not going to the interview?”
That brought me up short. “I mean, they haven’t even tried to schedule anything, it was just an off hand—”
“You want the job, don’t you?” she whispered. “If they ask you for an interview, you’re going to go.”
“I didn’t say that.” I looked between the two of them, the two angry faces of the people I loved most in the world. “I don’t know what I would do if they asked me to interview.”
“Yes you do,” Posey said. “You would go. You would jump at the chance.”
“Posey, I was always supposed to go! I live there.”
“Then maybe it’s time you went back.”
“Posey!”
“I never believed any of those kids, Iris, the ones that told me you were a brat and a snob. I’ve been defending you my entire life. I had no idea you were so selfish.”
“That’s enough, Posey.” I had imagined it would be my grandmother who might defend me, but she was still looking at me with that angry, disappointed expression on her face. The expression that made me worry that she shared Posey’s opinion. It was my mother, standing in the doorway behind us, who had spoken. She came into the room, her fingers brushing against my arm as she passed. “Mom, you’ve had a long day. Posey, why don’t you help me get her settled.”
“I don’t need help getting settled,” Mimi snapped. “I’m a grown woman.”
“Humor me,” my mom said, taking Mimi’s arm. Still Posey sat in her chair, glaring at me. “Posey.” My mother’s voice was sharper now. “I asked you to help me, sweetheart.”
“Fine.” My cousin stood and fled the room without another look.
“Iris, I’ll be down in a minute,” my mom said, her voice gentle, and then she and Mimi were gone, too, leaving me alone in the living room.
I sank into an armchair, my head in my hands. I couldn’t believe this. How did everything turn into such a mess? An hour ago, I had been heartbroken about my grandfather, the pain so strong it made me dizzy, but I’d been happy, too. Happy because I felt a part of something. Happy that my family was rallying, that we could count on each other. Happy that I had David.
And now Posey and Mimi thought I’d betrayed them. Did the others know? I thought about Zane and Eddie, about Andrew’s excited, proud face and felt even sicker. And I still didn’t know what those guys had said to David.
My phone rang. My dad. I pressed the accept button, feeling numb.
“Iris, we need to talk about your behavior tonight,” he said without preamble.
“This is not the time, Dad,” I began, but he kept talking.
“Giles and Bill were very impressed with the restaurant. They’re excited about the hotel opportunity, as well. They’ve already spoken to the team in Chicago, singing your praises.”
“Fantastic,” I muttered, not caring if he could read the sarcasm in my voice.
“They’ve scheduled the interview for Monday morning.”
“Wait, what?”
“They want to see you in Chicago on Monday morning. I’ll wait for you and we’ll travel down together.”
“Dad, I don’t know if I want—”
“You will be there, Iris. This isn’t the kind of thing you throw away.”
“Dad.” But he was gone.
An interview at Kent and Collins. A month ago, I would have been salivating at the very thought of the opportunity this could be. My dad was basically offering me a shot at my dream job. So why did I feel so awful?
“You look like you could use some tea.”
I looked up to see my mother standing at the foot of the stairs.
“Mimi—”
“She’s exhausted, Iris. She and Posey both. Cut them a little slack. Everything will look better in the morning.”
I nodded, a lump in my throat. I could see them upstairs, curled up together on the bed the way I’d seen them a hundred times. Posey was a cuddler, always had been. She would snuggle up against our grandmother when she read to us, when they chatted, when Mimi did her hair. I wanted to be there with the two of them so bad, it felt like a piece of my chest had been hollowed out.
“Why don’t you go out to the porch,” my mom said. “I could do with some fresh air. I’ll bring the tea.”
I nodded even though the last thing in the world I wanted was tea. What else was I supposed to do? My mother appeared to be the only one who actually wanted to talk to me. The irony was not lost on me as I took a seat on the top stair outside.
It was a beautiful night. Strange that it could be so nice out when everything in my head felt dark and cold. I could just catch a whiff of Mimi’s lilac bush when the breeze came through. Far above, the stars were bright and clear. You could never see stars like that in the city.
“Here you go,” my mother said a moment later, handing me a cup of tea and joining me on the step. She leaned against the railing post, watching me.
“Mom, I didn’t know he was coming,” I said immediately, the yearning for someone, anyone to believe me so strong, I could barely stand it.
“I know you didn’t.”
That brought me pause. “You do?”
“I’ve never known you to be dishonest, Iris. You said you didn’t know, and I believe you.” She took a sip of her tea and eyed me over the rim of her cup. “Besides, that had your father written all over it.”
Even though she was pretty much the only one being nice to me, I still felt a stab of anger at her criticizing my father. I took a sip of tea, trying to quell it.
“It’s just the way he is sometimes, Iris,” she said, as if she had read my thoughts. “He’s hyper focused on the task at hand. It makes it difficult to see the periphery. Like the fact that he might be hurting his daughter far more than helping her.”
I took another sip of tea, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat.
“Mimi did have a point,” I said. “I did give Dad that information about the restaurant. Because I wanted him to be impressed. I wanted him to think I was doing something important.”
“You were doing something important, sweetheart. It just had nothing to do with profit margins and property appraisals.”
I nodded, feeling sick. “Are they going to forgive me?”
“Of course they are,” she said, sounding surprised. “Iris, they’re your family.”
“But they’re so angry.”
“Families get angry sometimes. That doesn’t mean they abandon you.”
“Maybe if I skip the interview, they’ll see that I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“Do you want to skip the interview?”
I stared down the dark walkway. “I don’t know. It’s a really big opportunity, Mom. A top firm. It’s what I’ve been hoping for. What I’ve always wanted.”
“Then why don’t you sound more excited about it now?”
“Because I don’t know if it’s what I want anymore.”
“Hmm.” She leaned back onto her elbows, staring up at the night sky. “Then I think you better do it.”
I turned to gape at her. “You do?”
“Sure.”
“You think I should move back to Chicago.” I don’t know why the words made my stomach drop. Why did I care if she wanted m
e around? It wasn’t like I’d ever made any kind of effort to spend time with her.
“I would much rather you stayed here,” she said, voice soft. “I’ve always wished you would stay here.” She cleared her throat and her voice became stronger. “But that’s not the issue right now. The issue is finding out what you want.” She met my gaze, her eyes clear and steady. “A girl should always know her options, Iris. And make her choices based on an examination of all the evidence.” It was funny—she sounded a lot like the mom I remembered, like Jas Holder, the executive who could always get to the truth of any situation. But sitting there in her purple-beaded tank top and long, flowered skirt, looking up at the stars, she looked like Minny, the free-spirited artist from Lilac Bay. And for the first time in my life, I felt like maybe those two people weren’t complete contradictions after all.
“Will you come with me?” I whispered, shocking myself as much as I shocked her. She blinked at me a few times, her eyes wide, before smiling. “Of course I will, sweetheart.”
There was a noise down at the gate, and we both squinted into the darkness until David came into view. “I think I’ll head up,” my mom said, standing. She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Remember, Iris. Know your options.” She headed to the door. “Night, David.”
“Night, Minny.”
He stood there in front of me, hands in his pockets, an unreadable expression on his face. “How’s it going?”
I blew out a breath. “Pretty awful. My grandmother and Posey are furious.”
“They’re exhausted,” he said, echoing my mother’s sentiment. “They’re not seeing things clearly.”
“I take it you heard about the investors.”
“Edward told me.”
Shit. So my cousins did know. “How mad is he?”
David looked down at me. “Not very mad, once I told him it was all a misunderstanding.”
My heart leapt in my chest. “You don’t think I planned the whole thing?”
“Of course not.” He sank to the step next to me, and I couldn’t help but throw my arms around him. He believed me. Without even having to ask. David pulled me close to his chest, rubbing my back, and it felt so good to just let someone take care of me. “I know you wouldn’t do something like that.”
“I wish you weren’t the only one.”
“You and your mom looked pretty chummy.”
“She… yeah. She was great, actually.”
He gave me a squeeze. “See? It’s not only me. And Eddie and Andrew and Zane, too. Posey and Rose will come around.”
I sighed, relaxing into him. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was all going to be okay.
“Especially when they see that you have no intentions of leaving,” he added, and I froze.
“David.”
“Hmm?” he asked, moving some hair behind my shoulder so he could lightly kiss my neck.
“There is an interview.” I felt his entire body tense.
“And?”
“And I think I should go to it.”
He pulled away, his arms going to his lap. “I see.”
I reached for his hands, trying to make him see. “I don’t even know if I want the job,” I said. “I just think I’ll always wonder if I don’t try, you know?”
“Yeah.” His voice was completely flat, his eyebrows drawn, and he wasn’t looking at me. “Makes sense.”
“David—”
He stood. “I should go.”
“Wait.” I stood as well, reaching for him, but he was already halfway down the steps. “David, don’t be like this.”
“Like what, Iris?” He finally turned to face me, and I almost wished he hadn’t. He was scowling again, his beautiful eyes stormy. “Disappointed? Or angry?”
“Why are you disappointed and angry? It’s only an interview.”
“For a job seven hours away.” His voice was still flat. “What happens when you get it?”
“I examine all the options,” I stated. It had sounded so good when my mom said it. But David only snorted.
“Well, let me know how those options work out for you,” he said, stepping down to the walkway. “I won’t hold my breath.”
“Wait! I want to talk to you about this.”
Suddenly, he spun to face me. His eyes weren’t stormy anymore; they were livid. “I’m not going to watch you run away to some glamorous life again, Iris.”
“That’s not what happened—”
“Like hell it wasn’t. You left without even saying goodbye.” He shook his head as if in disgust. “I’m not doing that again. We might as well say goodbye right now.”
“No!” The hole I had felt in my chest earlier seemed to double in size, the thought of losing him too much to stand. “David—”
“It’s better this way, Iris,” he said, turning to go. “We obviously want different things.”
“I don’t know what I want,” I cried, reaching for his shoulder. “That’s the point.”
He turned once more to face me, all the anger gone, leaving him to look flat and tired. “Well, I know exactly what I want, Iris.” His eyes sweep my face. “Or at least I thought I did. Good luck at the interview.”
And then he was gone, striding down the walk into the darkness, leaving me alone on the steps.
Chapter 19
It was strange how quickly I fell back into my old role. The polished, confident, well-spoken woman in the expensive suit and perfect shoes. I could tell, before it was even over, that I nailed that interview. I could see it in their body language, the H.R guy and the vice president of the firm, the way they leaned toward me when I talked, the way they laughed and smiled at the exact moments I wanted them to. I even managed to put a good spin on the disaster that got me fired. They loved me.
My mom waited down in the lobby. She took one look at my face and grinned. “Success?”
“I think so.”
She took my arm, giving it a squeeze, and I couldn’t help but smile. It felt good, proving that I still had what it took to nail an interview like that. Granted, I felt the strangest combination of dull numbness and something close to panic when I thought about actually taking the job, but it was nice to do well in the interview, regardless. As far as the decision… I would just have to cross that bridge when I came to it.
“We should celebrate,” Mom said as we walked out into the oppressive summer heat. I had forgotten how miserable Chicago could get in the summer, so humid and sticky. Summer came slower to the island, with the lake breezes and the northern location. In Chicago, my blouse was sticking to my shoulder blades before we’d walked more than a few steps. And it was only mid-June. I tried to imagine living here in another month and shuddered a little.
“Iris?” she pressed. “Did you hear me? I said we should celebrate.”
“Right.” I shook my head, trying to clear it from thoughts of a cool breeze off the bay. “Well, they haven’t actually offered it to me yet, Mom.”
She waved her hands dismissively. “You had a good interview. That’s reason enough to celebrate. Besides! We’re back in our old stomping grounds. We used to have a lot of fun in this city.”
I felt the usual flash of anger at her words. My go-to reaction to any mention by her of the old days was to get immediately pissed. It was her fault that things had changed. But somehow, that anger felt muted today. Dull. Maybe it was the heat, making me fuzzy.
“Sure,” I said, making my voice light with just a little effort. “What’d you have in mind?”
She thought for a moment. “Brunch at Carter’s, obviously. And a mani-pedi? There’s that salon on Oak. And then maybe we could shop a little.” She laughed, slipping her arm through mine. “I haven’t set foot on the Mag Mile in years. Let’s go give my credit card a work out.”
So we did. We had brunch, got our mani-pedis, and went shopping. We even popped into the Art Institute to see Nighthawks, her favorite painting by Edward Hopper. It was kind of bizarre, having a girl’s day with my mom in Chicago. We used
to do this kind of thing all the time, before she left. For as busy as she always was, she somehow managed to make plenty of time for me. For years after she left, I couldn’t bring myself to eat at Carter’s, our favorite restaurant. It was those days, more than anything else that I missed when she was gone.
So it felt strange to be doing those things again after so long. Strange but also kind of… nice. We chatted easily, for the most part. About previous outings in the city. People we had known when we lived here. Properties that I’d had a hand in developing. Every once in a while, the topic of conversation would shift to the island. She was highly amused by the Libbies and laughed her head off when I described the antics I had witnessed over the last several weeks. We didn’t talk about family—Posey hadn’t spoken to me since Friday night, and I had been too afraid to face Mimi beyond stilted, overly polite greetings when we passed in the kitchen. We avoided talking about David, too. He’d texted me that morning to wish me good luck, but otherwise we hadn’t spoken.
But even with the conscious effort to avoid touchy subjects, every once in a while, she would say something that would have me tensing up. A mention of one of her paintings. Something she’d done on Lilac Bay after I’d left. Random little things that reminded me that there was a reason we hadn’t done this in so long, and that reason was that she chose to leave.
We were walking out of Saks when my phone rang. “It’s Dad,” I told her, my stomach dropping a little. She squeezed my arm and led me over to a bench as I pressed accept on my touch screen. “Hey, Dad.”
“Iris.” His voice was smooth and professional as ever, but I couldn’t help but think there was a touch of something else underneath the polished veneer. Excitement, maybe?
“You really impressed the vice president. I just got off the phone with Kent himself. They’re going to offer you the job.”
All the air left my lungs in a rush. I had been right. I nailed it.
“You should be hearing from them in the morning,” he went on.
My mind felt strangely blank, and I was having a hard time grasping any of the words he was saying. “Why’d they tell you?” I blurted out, surprising myself. Where had that come from?
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