Phil chuckled. “You want to throw down? Fine, let’s do it. However, that won’t change the fact that you are in love with her, and she is in love with you.”
The statement startled Jonathan. He stepped back as though Phil had just thrown a glass of cold water at his face.
Phil sighed and shook his head. “You still don’t see it? Dude, you are graduating from Harvard, you can’t seriously be this stupid,” he turned around, and began putting on his regalia.
Jonathan looked at him still confused by his statement. Finally, he reacted and began to follow suit, silently. He joined Phil, and the other law graduates as they walked towards their seat section, in the theatre. His parents, and Grandma Rose were already in their seats. Jonathan walked to his seat and looked around the theatre grounds. He didn’t know where Samantha was but one thing was certain. He would see her after the ceremonies were over. He would find her and talk to her. Make things right, whatever it took.
*
After the diploma awarding ceremony was over, Samantha walked to her dorm feeling exhausted. She received her diploma and left, without staying for the luncheon. She just wanted to get out of there. She couldn’t face it anymore. She left Lucy behind with her family, to be alone. Alone, that was exactly how she was. Although it was an important day for her, and she was proud of her accomplishment, she was alone.
Samantha looked at the diploma in her hands while she walked. She remembered the other seniors with their families, back at the theatre. They hugged, and laughed as they celebrated together.
“Alone, I might as well get used to it,” she thought, and a tear ran down her cheek. “I lost him, and I’m not even sure what happened. But I lost him. I don’t have my friend anymore.”
The image of Jonathan crossed her mind and she saw him smiling at her.
“I’m going to miss that beautiful smile,” she sighed, wiping her cheek. “Maybe all of this is for the best. He said it clearly. What happened was a mistake. He doesn’t want it, and there’s no going back from that. The distance will give me peace. Time, will give me peace.”
She thought, just as she arrived at her building. She went to the main hall, and grabbed the public phone, dialing.
“Hello?”
“I did it Dad! I made it! I graduated from Harvard!”
“Oh sweetheart, I’m so proud of you! You are my treasure, my gift. I knew you were special, the first time I held you in my arms. You looked at me with wonder filled eyes, and I just knew that you would turn the world upside down. I’m so proud of you for following your dreams. For getting out of this town, and making something of yourself, Sam. I love you so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you, but I’m here and I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart. I love you, my sweet Sam,” he said crying, and triggering her tears again.
Crying, she held the phone close. She missed him so much right now. She was alone, now more than ever. “Thank you Dad, I love you too,” she said and took a deep breath trying to calm down.
“So what have you decided to do?”
She looked away. There was only one path for her now. “I’ve accepted the job at Oxford, Dad. I called first thing this morning and made all the arrangements already.”
“Well, I’m sad you’ll be so far away from me, but I’m so happy you are daring to reach even higher, Sweetheart. You do this for yourself, you hear me? You go out there, and show the Brits who Samantha Johnson is, and how lucky they are to have you.”
Against all her efforts, her eyes teared up. He had always been her biggest supporter. He believed in her and encouraged her, every step of the way. She wiped her cheeks.
“Are you coming home tomorrow, Sam?”
“No Dad. I changed the flight, and I’m traveling home tonight. The plane leaves at five from Boston, so I’ll be leaving in an hour for the airport and I should arrive at Detroit around ten this evening. If you can’t pick me up, it’s ok. I know this is last minute. Don’t worry I can take a taxi. I still have some money saved and…”
Frank cut her off. “Of course I’ll pick you up sweetheart. I’ll be there at the airport tonight.”
“Thank you, Dad.”
After a pause, Frank’s voice returned. “Your Mother would be so proud of you, my sweet Sam. I know wherever she is right now, she’s smiling down on you. And she’s so proud of you, sweetheart.” His voiced cracked, and so did the frail hold she had on her emotions. The tears ran freely down her cheeks.
“Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me,” she whispered, unable to speak.
Frank cleared his throat.
“Ok, sweetheart. I’ll see you tonight.”
Sam stared at the phone while she felt the walls close in on her. She walked outside, needing fresh air. Her tears had become hard to contain. Sitting on the steps, she covered her face and allowed herself to cry. The grounds were deserted, but she knew that soon the luncheons would be over, and she didn’t want to face anyone. When she was able to rein in her emotions once again, she stood to go back into the building. She took a step and froze, when Jonathan’s voice reached her.
Jonathan had left his luncheon early to look for Samantha. He excused himself to his family and told them he needed to congratulate her, to be there for her. He ran all the way to her luncheon but she wasn’t there. Once he found Lucy, he discovered that Samantha had returned to her dorm. He ran towards her building. His gown and cap in hand. When he finally got there, he saw her. She was sitting on the steps outside, crying. His heart tugged at the sight. She was wearing her Mother’s wedding dress. He knew it from the picture she carried with her all the time. Her hair was loose.
“She looks so beautiful. So breathtakingly beautiful,” he thought as he walked towards her.
His heart broke at her pain, and the realization that this could not have happened at a worse time. He knew this would be a difficult day for her. With Grace gone and Frank not being able to afford coming. Now it was worse. He had made it worse. He saw her get up, turning to go back inside.
“Sam!” he called, running the last steps to her. His gown and cap fell to the ground, forgotten. She stopped and turned to face him. He was now standing only a few feet from her.
Looking at him, her eyes filled with tears once again and she ran down the steps, crashing into him. She needed him. His arms wrapped around her and he held her tight. Every tear that fell from her eyes ripped his heart a little.
“You did it, Sam. You said you would, and you did it. You accomplished your dream. I’m so proud of you,” he said, placing two small kisses on her forehead and held her closer. She cried as he held her in his arms, like he was so used to doing. He had been there for her during the hard moments, the heartbreaks, and the disappointments. He had always been her constant, for it had always been his arms that held her and comforted her. Just as he was doing right now, yet this time, he had also hurt her.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I am so sorry,” he said and heard her sob.
“Don’t,” Samantha answered, getting out of his arms. Her hands pressed to his chest, slowly pushing him away. She needed him more than anything. She loved him, but it was not the same. It would never be the same. She shook her head disappointed with the realization, and looked into his eyes one last time. She turned around to leave, but Jonathan grabbed her by the arm.
“No, Sam. Please, don’t shut me out. Don’t do this. You are my best friend. I need you, and you need me. I’m sorry.”
Samantha closed her eyes, feeling crushed by the truth in his words. She took a breath, and knowing very well that it would destroy whatever was left of her, she turned around and kissed him.
Jonathan saw her turn and the next second her lips were on his. She cupped his face and kissed him.
With pain and anguish, she kissed him.
With passion, desperation, and debilitating need, she kissed him.
Holding her close, he kissed her back. The emotions took over him, and ran over his body as if they were his own. Perhaps they
were. Suddenly, she broke the kiss and looked into his eyes with despair. Pulling her arm from his grasp, and ran away.
For a split second, Jonathan stood there confused. An overwhelming sense of loss overcame him. He began to run after her but someone called his name. He turned, to find Phil walking towards the dorm with his parents as well as Jonathan’s. He looked to where Samantha had stood just a second ago, and then back to the streets to see all the graduates starting to fill them with their families. Angela waved him over. His gaze fell to the floor and he shook his head, taking a deep breath. Feeling defeated, he walked towards his family.
After Samantha was able to calm down she went back to her dorm. He was no longer there. Going to the main hall inside, she called a taxi and ran up to her room to pack. She entered the room, and turned to her bed to find the sweatshirt. His sweatshirt folded on it with a note.
“I’m sorry.”
She crushed the note into a ball, and tossed it away. “Me too,” she said, and began to change.
Thirty minutes later, Jonathan walked out of his dorm, and on his way to the last ceremony of the day. Praying she would be there. He noticed a taxi parked in front of Samantha’s building and stopped. The man put three bags in the trunk and got into the driver’s seat. Suddenly, he saw Samantha come out of the building. She was wearing jeans, a pink tank top and his sweatshirt. Her hair bounced in a ponytail, while she ran down the stairs. She had her glasses on and a book in her hand. His eyes widened when he realized the taxi was there for her.
“Wait!” He yelled, trying to stop her. Her eyes briefly settled on him but quickly left him and she got into the cab. “Sam, wait!” He yelled again, as she closed the door. He ran towards her but the car left before he could get to it.
Jonathan stood in the middle of the street looking at the taxi while it drove away.
“What the fuck?” He cursed, pushing his hand through his hair.
He ran into her dorm, and opened the door to find it empty. Going to the closet, he opened the door and saw everything was gone. Confused, he sat on her bed and reached for her pillow bringing it to his nose. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, and walked out of the room… with her pillow in his grasp.
“I’ll talk to her tomorrow when I get back home,” he thought, going into his dorm. He placed the pillow on his bed and laid his head on it.
Samantha and Jonathan had agreed that after graduation they would go back home for a week to spend time with their families. After the short vacation, they would go to Boston where she would be lecturing at Boston University while getting her PhD, and he would be working for Harrington, Brown & Parker law firm. They would rent an apartment together and be roommates for the first two years. They would be there for each other; this he always knew.
He stared at the ceiling while his head rested on her pillow. He couldn’t manage to stop thinking about her. About that last kiss she gave him.
“I need to make things right. Talk to her before we go to Boston. I have to find a way.”
*
The faces, and voices of the people around her all blurred together and faded into the background. Samantha stared blankly at the suitcases that slowly slid down the conveyor belt, waiting for her bags to come through at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Finally spotting them, she reached for them, and one by one placed them in the cart.
She walked towards the exit, and her eyes settled on Frank. She tried to smile while he approached her. At six feet two, he was tall and strong. He had a wide back, and sturdy arms. He was built from all the years working with the machinery at the factory. His hair was brown with grey strokes on the sides, and his eyes a light honey, just like hers. They looked gorgeous against his lightly tanned skin. He had a strong jaw and a sweet smile that she had always loved. Running the last few steps to her, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
“Oh, my little girl. My sweet Sam,” he said, holding her tighter.
Overwhelmed, Samantha’s eyes watered. She usually wasn’t too fond of crying. In fact, she could count with one hand the times she had cried growing up. Not because she was a “strong, can do anything kind of woman.” The truth was she was far from that. It was because she would do anything it took to avoid bringing any sadness or grief to her Dad. He had already been through enough. Losing Grace, her Mother, had been a difficult thing for him to overcome. She could still see the pain in his eyes from time to time. No, she wasn’t strong, but she had made herself strong enough for him. Only Jonathan had been there through her moments of weakness. When the pain had gotten the best of her and she couldn’t hide it anymore. Yet, in the past few days, her emotions had overcome her, and she couldn’t seem to stop. The tears ran down her face and a small sob caught in her throat.
Frank’s eyes watered. He kissed her cheek, wiped the tear that escaped him, and cleared his throat. “Now look what you’ve done… making your old man cry. You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. I raised you better than that,” he said, shaking his head and effectively making her chuckle.
“I’ve missed you, Dad,” she replied, while he wiped her tears.
“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart. Come on, we have a long drive ahead of us.”
She nodded, taking a deep breath and they began walking through the parking lot towards his car. It would take them an hour and a half to get to Springport.
On their way home, Samantha remained quiet. Her head rested against the window, while her eyes followed the buildings and houses passing by. She felt numb, but she had already made a decision. There was no going back. Turning to look at her Dad, she offered him a small smile.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to spend the full week with you like I planned, Dad. The only flight I could get to London, in such short notice leaves at 3:30pm tomorrow. I’ll only be able to spend the night with you and tomorrow morning,” she looked at him doleful. She really wished she could spend more time with him. She needed him. “I’m truly sorry, Dad. I really wanted to spend the full week with you, but if I took a later date it would have been high season. I would have had to pay much more for the ticket, and I’m a bit tight with the money I have left. I can’t afford it.”
He took a deep breath while he looked at the road, and processed the news. Finally, he smiled. “I know, sweetheart. Don’t worry. I’m just glad I get to be with you before you leave. I’ll take anything I can get,” he said, pulling her close, and guiding her head to his shoulder. Samantha leaned into him and held his arm, wishing they had more time. He kissed the top of her head and turned back, to look at the road.
They were almost home when Frank turned to look at her. She was resting her head by the window once again, and he could see the sadness in her. She had been silent for most of the ride.
“How come Jonathan didn’t come with you?” He asked, concerned.
Samantha blinked fast, as though the simple mention of his name wounded her. “Uhm, he’s traveling tomorrow with his family. He stayed for the last ceremony.”
“Oh ok… So what is he going to do now?”
“He got hired by the law firm he did his internship with, back in Boston so…” She sighed. “He will be staying there.”
Frank nodded, but her reaction at the mention of Jonathan didn’t go unnoticed. “I see. Does he know you are leaving for England tomorrow?”
She looked at him surprised by the question, then back to her fingers while she played with the zipper of his sweatshirt. “No, I haven’t told him yet.”
Frank shook his head confused. His concern grew. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but that doesn’t make sense to me. He is your best friend. You two have been inseparable since you were kids. How are you moving to a different country without even telling him?” He turned to look at her but she looked away, shifting nervously in her seat. He sighed. “Is everything ok, sweetheart? Did something happen with him, did he do something?”
Samantha looked out the window, and took a slow steady breath in an attempt to hold back the te
ars that threatened to fall. “It doesn’t matter, Dad. It’s ok. Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Frank reached for her hand and held it tight. “You can tell me, you know? It’s ok, I won’t judge, or even comment if you don’t want me to. I just… I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Always.”
She smiled, and a tear escaped her. “I know, Dad. It’s nothing. I promise, I’m ok.”
They entered the house and Samantha went straight to her room. She proceeded to take the clothes out of her bags and prepare the luggage she would be taking to Oxford, while Frank prepared dinner. Once done, she went into the bathroom for a much needed hot shower, got into her pj’s and ran downstairs for dinner. Her eyes fell on Frank, while he set the food on the kitchen table.
“Mmm. That smells delicious, Dad.”
“I thought I would make your favorite. Fried chicken,” he said with a proud smile, motioning for her to sit. Walking up to him, she gave him a brief hug and sat down next to him.
As they ate, Frank looked at her. “So tell me, what is it like to be in such a big city? Go to a university with so many different people?” She laughed. “No I’m serious, I want to know. You know the farthest I’ve ever gotten is the airport and that was to drop you off when you left, and to pick you up when you arrived. God knows my noggin wasn’t big enough to go to college, so I want to know. What does it feel like?”
Samantha looked at her Dad with appreciation. They had always been humble people. He worked hard, to make sure she had everything she needed. It was difficult sometimes with only one income, but they had made it work.
“It’s wonderful, Dad. One day I’ll take you there. There are so many people with so many different cultures, and the university is absolutely beautiful. I used to love to sit in the library, studying or just admiring it. The city is big, incredibly big. There are restaurants everywhere, and the museums are lovely. Half the time, I couldn’t believe I was there,” she chuckled. “It was truly a dream come true, Dad.”
Frank teared up, seeing the excitement in her as she spoke about her time there. “I will never stop saying it. I’m so proud of you, my sweet Sam,” he wiped the tear that escaped him. “I have to admit. When you turned twelve and you told me you wanted to go to college, I nearly had a heart attack. I’ve never made much. Just enough to make sure you and your Mother were taken care of. The thought of the tuition fees… I was worried, but you were so smart. You wanted it so badly, I swore I was going to do whatever it took for you to make it there. I took all the extra shifts I could at the factory, and found a part time job at night. I saved as much as I could, all the while knowing it wouldn’t be enough.”
Chasing Time: A Love Through Time Novel Page 5