Protecting his Love (His Love)

by Perry, M. J.

  I finished my coffee and as I was rinsing my cup: I heard a car drive up towards my house and then a car door opening. I nearly tripped over my own feet in my eagerness to get to the front door so I could see Katie. She was climbing out of the car with Julian’s help. When she saw me she jumped from his hold and ran straight to me. I bent in a crouch and caught her up in a big hug.

  “Hey, baby girl.”

  “I missed you, Mummy.”

  “And I missed you.” I kissed her cheek.

  I watched as Julian walked towards us with a frown. Here we go.

  “Katie, baby, there are cookies and muffins in the kitchen, go and help yourself while Mummy and Daddy talk.” I smiled carefully hiding my dismay at what was about to come.

  Katie looked at her daddy with wary eyes. She kissed my cheek. “Ok, Mummy. Bye, Daddy.” She said before she ran into the house shutting the door behind her.

  I stood up not liking Julian towering over me. Crossing my arms I lifted my eyes to his knowing he was spoiling for a fight and boy was I right.

  “You do not tell me when to bring my daughter back.” The venom in his voice surprised me. He’d never spoken to me like that before.

  “Yes, I do Julian. We have an agreement which states you have her on the weekends, and when you’d like more access, we’re supposed to discuss it.”

  He shook his head, his eyes sparkling like wildfire. I swallowed nervously at the change in him; I didn’t recognise this person in front of me.

  “Katie deserves to see me as much as she sees you. I’m her father I have the same rights as you and if I decide to let her stay for a week, I will do it whether you like I or not.”

  Where was this coming from? We'd been sticking to this agreement since the day he’d walked out of our marriage. “You may share custody, but Katie lives with me and the order states you have her Friday to Sunday unless we have prearranged something else. You don’t get to decide to keep her another night and tell me half an hour before she’s due home.”

  “I can do what I like.” He sneered at me.

  “What is wrong with you?” I was genuinely surprised by his behaviour.

  “Nothing is wrong with me. You’re the one who has the problem.”

  “Julian, seriously, stop trying to cause a row. Please go home.”

  He ignored me. “Next time I’m keeping her for a week.”

  “If you do that, I’ll call the police,” I told him and I was deadly serious.

  “You’re a stupid bitch!” He yelled.

  My mouth dropped open at his words and then I froze to the spot when he started to move towards me with murder on his mind if his eyes were anything to go by. My ex-husband looked like he wanted to hit me. I managed to unglue my feet, and I started moving backwards not taking my eyes off him. He kept coming, and I was about to panic.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The voice came from behind me, but I didn’t let my relief show until I felt hands grip my shoulders and Ryder’s scent hit my nostrils, that’s when my legs went weak. I held myself up with all the strength I could find, I didn’t want to show fear, well any more than I already had. Who was this person in front of me? He was unrecognisable. He’d changed from a man always in control to what looked like a madman, someone so out of control he would hurt me, he actually wanted to cause me pain, and I could see that clearly in his cold eyes. He stopped his advance when Ryder spoke and stared at me before he looked down in shock at his clenched fists. His pale eyes lifted to mine with regret.

  “Lexi, my god, I’m so sorry, so sorry. I don’t know what…” He trailed off looking away. He swallowed and caught my eyes again. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered. His anguish was real, he wasn’t faking it and I felt sorry for him, even though my fear hadn’t quite receded. My hands were still shaking.

  “It’s Ok,” I whispered back. It wasn’t, of course, it wasn’t, but I didn’t know what else to say.

  Ryder’s hands tightened on me. “It’s not fucking Ok.” He growled at Julian. “Now you’d better leave before I make you.”

  His words caused me to tense. Julian didn’t like being ordered around and I was worried it would set him off again. I held my breath waiting for him to reply, to show his displeasure, but he didn’t. He just nodded and headed towards his car. Ryder and I watched in silence as his car disappeared out of sight. I shook my head. What in the hell had just happened?

  “Has he ever done that before?”

  I didn’t need to ask him what he meant. “No, he’s been angry before, but he’s never raised a hand to me.”

  “Are you telling me the truth?”

  “I thought you could tell when I’m lying?” I teased hating to see him look so worried.

  “This is too important Lexi.” He turned me so I faced him fully. “Promise me he’s never hit you.”

  “I promise he hasn’t Ryder.”

  He closed his eyes briefly and when they opened, they blazed with a scorching anger. “I’m hanging by a thread here, I really want to go after him and beat the shit out of him.”

  His body was shaking in his fury. “Julian has never got that close to hurting me. When he used to get mad, he’d shout at me then ignore me for a couple of days. Something is up with him, he’s acting strangely.”

  Ryder gripped my face gently in his big hands. “I want to hurt him so badly he won’t be able to walk for even thinking of laying a hand on you in anger.”

  “I think he felt bad enough when he left.”

  “So he fucking should. No man should ever put his hands on a woman when he’s in a rage.”

  “I know.” I agreed. I could feel him slowly calming down, his tense body growing lax. “I need to go and check on Katie. I hope she didn’t see or hear anything.” She didn’t need to see that side of her father; hell, I wish I hadn’t seen it.

  “Come on then.” He let go of my face and disappointment ran through me at the loss of contact until he grabbed my hand.

  When we walked into the house Katie screeched before she threw herself at Ryder. He let go of my hand and caught her up in his muscular arms swinging her around before he dropped her gently to her feet again.

  “Hey, sweetie.”

  “Mummy made blueberry muffins did she tell you?”

  “No, she didn’t.” He raised his eyebrows at her stained mouth and chuckled. “Are there any left?”

  “I saved you some.” She giggled and my worry for her disappeared.

  “Good, squirt. Shall we go get one while your mummy has a rest? We can make her a coffee too.”

  He smiled at me and then holding Katie’s hand he strolled into the kitchen as if he lived here and did it every single day. I plonked my bum on the sofa and rested my head against the back of it. Katie came running in not five minutes later with a muffin on a plate and she curled up next to me, I put my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled closer.

  “Did you have a nice time at Daddy’s house baby?”

  “Yes, it was fun. Guess what?” she asked with excitement.

  “What?”

  “Tammy gave me a new coat; it’s pink and has funny shaped buttons on it.” She pulled a face. “She said I’m only allowed to wear it when I’m at daddy’s house.”

  That bloody woman. “That’s OK sweetie, you can wear your old one here and save your new coat for weekends.”

  “Yes, but Mummy I won’t be able to show you it.”

  Before I could speak she got up and sat in front of the television, not too close though because we’d already had that conversation.

  “I love this cartoon, the girl always falls over.” She told me.

  The house phone started to ring, but before I could get my legs out from under me, Ryder shouted that he had it. I wasn’t sure if I liked that, what if it was my parents? They’d want to know who he is and even though I’d tell them the truth that Ryder was only my friend they would be out here like a shot to match-make, even with them being so many miles away it didn’t stop the
m trying to set me up on dates. They want me to be happy, but they didn’t listen when I told them I wasn’t interested in dating. The only man I want is talking on my phone right now, but I’d never tell them that.

  Ryder called my name from the kitchen and I headed towards him. My phone was still in his hand and the scowl on his face told me it wasn’t a happy conversation.

  “Who rang?” I asked.

  “Julian. He wanted to speak to you, but I said no.”

  I opened my mouth to tell him off, after all, it was my phone and he didn’t have the right to do that. He shook his head before I got the words out and I snapped my lips together with a glare.

  “Don’t get pissy with me. I told him no because he’s only going to try to blame his behaviour on you.”

  “I wouldn’t let him do that. I’m not weak, no matter what you seem to think.” I snapped.

  He smiled, actually smiled at me with dimples and my anger drained away just like that. “I know you’re not weak, but you’re too nice. You’ll forgive him easily forgetting about the fact he nearly hit you, but I refuse to let you do that.”

  This man knew me better than I knew myself; I had no idea I would have done that until he said, he’s right, I would have swept it under the rug. Ryder saw my surprise and shook his head slowly. “Fucking hell Lexi he was going to put his hands on you. He wanted to hurt you; I saw it in his eyes.”

  I sighed.

  “Even now you’re excusing him?”

  “I’m not, am I?” I sighed again. “I guess I am. The Julian I know would never have touched me in anger.”

  “It doesn’t matter now because he will never get close to you again. If he needs to speak to you he calls you. When he collects Katie and drops her off he’s not to get out of his car. If I see one of his fancy ass loafers on your drive, I’ll make him eat it.”

  I’m shocked and it showed. “He agreed to this?”

  “I didn’t give him a choice.”

  Wow. Ryder in protective mode was really hot. My body is tingly and my insides bubbled with delight at his take charge attitude. The truth is, I feel relieved. I would have forgotten what Julian did for Katie’s sake, but I wouldn’t have been comfortable around him and I definitely wouldn’t have been able to hide my fear from him. Ryder was staring at me, he looked concerned and I realised he was nervous, nervous about my reaction, surely not?

  “Thank you for looking out for me,” I said with a smile.

  He blinked in surprise clearly expecting me to argue with him. “That’s all you have to say?”

  “Yes, I mean I could shout at you if you want but I like your plan, it makes me feel safe.”

  He smiled. He had a nice smile, but right this moment it was his eyes that took my breath away, they were glowing with happiness. His big shoulders relaxed, and he held out a hand. I placed my much smaller one in his and let him tug me into his warm body. His hand loosened, and he wrapped both arms around me pulling me closer. “I want you safe.” He whispered into my ear, his voice, rough with emotion caused me to shiver.

  “I know,” I whispered back.

  I shuffled slightly ready to pull away from him, but his grip tightened. Lifting my head to look at him, I gasped at the desire evident on his face. I wasn’t the only one affected by the closeness. His gaze dropped to my lips then lifter to meet my eyes. My lids grew heavy and I let them close just as I felt his mouth brush over mine in a soft caress. I needed more; I needed his taste, so I lifted my hands and sank them into his short hair trying to keep his mouth on my lips. He groaned low in his throat and pressed his hard lips against mine. I whimpered at the sensations and his tongue swept across my lips before it slipped inside tangling with my tongue and exploring the inside of my mouth, warmth spread through me and I moaned softly. For a long while all my thoughts centred on Ryder and what he was doing to my mouth, but eventually I had to pull away to take a breath. I rested my head on his chest listening to his heart and tried to calm myself down. When I felt more in control, I raised my head and caught a look of pain in his eyes. Had I done something wrong? An arrow of hurt shot through me, hadn’t he enjoyed it as much as I had? I tried to pull out of his arms but he stopped me by picking me up and holding me against his body leaving my feet dangling in the air.

  “If I’d known how good a kisser you were I would have waited until we were alone so I could bury myself in you.”

  I gasped at his bluntness.

  “Never doubt how much I want you, baby.”

  “But why? You've never shown an interest in me before.”

  He sighed harshly. “We need to work on your self-worth.”

  I looked at him in confusion. He hadn’t answered the question. He placed me gently on my feet and cupped my face. “When I first saw you I knew you would be mine, but you were going through a shit time and there was no way I was going to take advantage of you or have you worrying that you liked me on the rebound. You needed time to adjust to being a single mother, and I made the decision to wait until you were ready for me even if it killed me.”

  “It’s been over two years,” I whispered hesitantly.

  “My job took me into some dangerous places and I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d put you and Katie in danger baby, trust me it wasn’t because I wasn’t interested. Now it’s time to take what is mine.”

  I let out a breath over-whelmed by his words and shocked that my feelings weren’t quite as unrequited as I’d thought. He hadn’t mentioned love, but I wasn’t going to complain, him caring was enough, for now. Then his words hit me. “Your job is dangerous?”

  “Not anymore baby, I took myself out of that life. I now only do detective work.”

  I frowned. “You’re a detective?” How did I not know this?

  “Not with the police. A friend of mine owns a security firm that specialises in private security; we take on cases that the police can’t or won’t.”

  “Oh. Isn’t that still dangerous?”

  “You don’t need to worry. I can look after myself and I always have back-up if I need it.”

  That’s good to know. “Won’t you need to go back soon? You don’t usually stay home very long.”

  “I had a reason for staying away; the temptation got too strong if I stayed close to you for too long.”

  “Temptation?”

  “To jump you, Lexi, well, not jump you as such just seduce you until you couldn’t remember your name, but as I’ve already said I wanted to give you time. I’m sticking around from now on, but it will take a few days for me to wrap up my cases and hand over the ones I can’t wrap up to someone else. Besides, it will take at least a week to eat all the things you’ve baked.”

  I grinned. “So that’s why you want me, for my cooking skills.” I teased.

  “That’s one reason, the others are that you are sweet, sincere, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “No one has ever said anything so sweet to me in my life.”

  “Want to tell me what you like about me?” He grinned.

  “I don’t think you need an even bigger ego.”

  He chuckled. “It doesn’t matter, you’re mine anyway.”

  I raised my eyebrows in mock anger. “What if I don’t want to be yours?”

  His eyes turned to slits, and he walked me backwards until my back hit the wall and his body pressed into mine pinning me in place, I couldn’t move if I tried. Why did that turn me on?

  “Do I need to kiss you to prove it? I’m already struggling to remind myself that Katie is in the other room.” His mouth hovered over mine and I found myself leaning into him, my body started to tremble with my need to have him kiss me.

  “You feel this?” He asked as he pushed his body harder into mine. His erection pressed into my stomach and I gasped. “I always want you. I could be in a different country lying under the stars and you would still be on my mind.”

  “When you go away, I always worry that you won’t come back. Sometimes you’re away for we
eks.”

  “We’ve missed a lot of time, but I did the right thing by letting you get used to your life even if it was really fucking hard denying my feelings, denying you. We're together now and you're not getting away.”

  “Mummy!” Katie called as she came barrelling out of the living room. Ryder moved away from me, but I stayed leaning against the wall, I still wasn’t sure my legs would support me.

  “Yes, baby?”

  Ryder grinned when he caught my eye, his short hair was messy from my fingers, but he looked in control of himself which was more than I could say for myself.

  “Can I have another cookie please?”

  “How many have you had already?”

  “One,” She said it so sweetly.

  Ryder laughed. “You had two while I was in here you little fibber.”

  She looked at the floor, but not before I caught her grin. “OK, I’ve had four.”

  “Four,” I exclaimed. “No more for you, your tummy will pop.”

  “Mummy, don’t be silly. I don’t feel full; I could eat another hundred more and still feel good.”

  Ryder threw his head back and laughed, I’m momentarily distracted by the sight of him and Katie used it to her advantage by grabbing a muffin off the side.

  “Katie.” I scolded.

  “You said I couldn’t have any more cookies, you didn’t say I couldn’t have a muffin.” She said matter of fact.

  “She’s got you there.” Ryder piped up grinning.

  When did my five-year-old become such a smart ass? She has her pouty face on, the one she knows will make me give in. I sighed. “Fine,” I watched her take a huge bite. “But you’re not allowed any more for a week.”