Protecting his Love (His Love)

by Perry, M. J.

  “Oh Jen, I’m so sorry.” I gave her hand a squeeze.

  “He didn’t give me a reason. He just kissed me one last time and then he walked out the door without looking back.”

  “That’s it? He didn’t give say why he was doing it?”

  “No, nothing, that was the worst of it because I never had closure. Was it me? Did I do something wrong or did he meet someone else? I loved him so much.”

  It was obvious she still did. “I’m sorry, honey. Do you want to leave? I totally understand if you don’t want to be here anymore. I wouldn’t blame you.”

  “No, I’m not going to get upset over him again.” She grinned. “This time doesn’t count. We’ll put it down to shock.”

  I chuckled. “OK, whatever you like, maybe you’ll get some answers.”

  “Maybe but after five years I don’t know if I want them.”

  She needed answers and by the look on Eric’s face when he’d seen her, he needed to give them. I’d keep my fingers crossed for them both. “Let’s go back then if you’re feeling better. Don’t forget to gush about my beautiful dress.”

  She laughed, it sounded a bit forced, but I took it as her trying to pull herself together. I wet a flannel and passed it over so she could wipe her face. She didn’t wear makeup when she wasn’t working so luckily she hadn’t ruined it.

  “Are you ready for battle?” I asked.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. When this is over, I expect every juicy detail of you and Ryder.”

  Yep, she was feeling much better now, the nosy cow. “There is nothing to tell.”

  She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

  “We haven’t slept together.”

  “What? You mean you haven’t jumped on him the first chance you got?”

  “There hasn’t exactly been time but I can tell you that his kisses are mind-blowing. No one has ever kissed me the way he does.”

  “If he’s so good at kissing, just imagine how good he will be in bed.”

  I blushed. “I imagine it all the time.”

  “I bet you do, I certainly would if I were you. Julian is a slime ball who treated you like dirt. I’m glad you have Ryder. He’s a real man, he won’t let you down.”

  “I know I’m lucky he feels the same way about me as I do him.”

  “It isn’t luck Lex, it’s because you’re you. You’re the sweetest, gentlest person I know.”

  “Ryder is sweet,” I said with a smile.

  She scoffed, “Only with you and Katie.”

  I laughed. “That’s what he said.”

  “He’ll look after you; he’ll make sure you’re happy. I’m pleased for you. Now come on, we’d better get back before they send out a search party.” She took one last look in the mirror before she flounced out like she hadn’t been crying on my shoulder. Pride was a stubborn thing.

  I wish I could get them to talk to each other but it wasn’t my place. I wouldn’t like it if someone stuck their nose in my business especially in such an upsetting situation. Eric’s eyes tracked Jen when we got back into the kitchen. I saw him wince at her face, but he hid his expression quickly returning it to a blank slate. Jen missed all this because she kept her eyes on the floor, never looking up at him.

  “Baking.” I blurted out into the awkward silence. Both of them stared at me for a minute. “I’m going to do some baking.”

  “Blueberry muffins?” Eric asked with a hopeful expression.

  I groaned. “Not you as well.”

  “Your muffins are legendary. Ryder won’t let us have any but we’ve all sneaked one when he wasn’t guarding the tin.”

  I laughed at his admission feeling a little proud. “I suppose I could make some. What about you Jen?”

  “I just need ice-cream.” She said quietly.

  Ah, Ice-cream, the food of broken hearts. “Ok, well I need to go to the shop for ingredients.” I looked at Eric. “Is that Ok?”

  “You’re not a prisoner Lexi; we just need to know where you’re going so we can protect you.”

  “And follow me?”

  “Yeah, that too.”

  I nodded. It was weird not having privacy, but it was for Katie’s sake as well as my own.

  “Katie,” I called as I went in search of her. “We’re going shopping.”

  She groaned.

  “Food shopping.” I clarified.

  “I’ll get my coat.” She leapt up to do just that, making me smile. I didn’t like clothes shopping either; usually, I just bought our clothes online.

  “She’s just like you, a mini you, in fact,” Jen said from behind me.

  “Lexi, I’ll be coming with you, but I’ll follow behind in my own car,” Eric said as he walked to stand next to me. I heard Jen’s sigh of relief and no doubt he did too, but he didn’t react.

  “I’m ready Mummy, I’ve got your coat, and Aunty Jens’s too.”

  “Someone’s eager.” I teased taking my coat.

  “I like the supermarket. They have all the things you need for blueberry muffins.”

  “Yes they do, and for all the other cakes I could make too.”

  “Maybe if you have another baby, it won’t like blueberry muffins.”

  “Actually, Lex,” Jen said in amusement. “I think you’ll be out of luck there. With Ryder’s genes, the kid will probably come out screaming for them. He loves them just as much as short stuff here.”

  “Whoa,” I protested. “You’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.”

  “I don’t think I am but I see by your face I’ve sent you into a mini panic so I’ll drop it.”

  “Good idea.” Eric agreed, and she scowled at him. Surprisingly, he grinned at her.

  “Come on, let’s go.” I wasn’t sure what Jen was going to say to Eric, but I was sure I didn’t want Katie to hear, she looked confused enough already.

  “All right, drive slow enough so I can keep you in sight at all times. When you get to the shop don’t get out until I’m at your door. OK?”

  “Ok.” I agreed. I grabbed my bag and keys and waited until everyone was out before locking up. I did what Eric asked and couldn’t help but watch for him in my mirrors. He didn’t leave my sight, and I felt much safer. I hadn’t given much thought to the danger we could be in and I was glad when we arrived at the shops so I didn’t have to think about it anymore. I could bury my head in the sand. Even with the cameras and Eric staying with us it still didn’t seem like real life.

  We all climbed out of the car once Eric made it to us and Katie grabbed my hand while Jen got a trolley.

  “You have the trolley and Katie and I will get the ice-cream,” Jen said.

  “Deal,” I heard a phone ring and turned to see Eric pulling his out of his pocket. I strolled down the baking aisle and grabbed what I needed; I was just putting the last item in my trolley when someone sort of pushed into it nearly hitting me in the process. I looked up annoyed and grimaced.

  “Hi Tammy,” I greeted with a smile which I knew looked false. It was impossible to give a real one to the woman who stole my husband even if I didn’t care about him anymore.

  “Don’t you Hi me, you bitch.”

  I stepped back at the venom in her voice. She looked ready to claw my eyes out. “What’s the matter?” I asked her in shock.

  “What’s the matter?” She screeched.

  I winced at the sound. I saw Eric walk up slowly behind her.

  “You have some nerve, Lexi. Is it jealousy? Do you think by asking Julian for more money I’ll leave him and he’ll go back to you? You’re bleeding him dry.”

  “I’m bleeding him dry?” I asked to clarify. I must be hearing things.

  “Yes. Don’t act all innocent. Julian has told me how you keep threatening to stop his contact with Katie if he doesn’t give you more money each week.”

  “You have it wrong.”

  “No, I don’t. My Julian doesn’t lie to me.” She stated with complete faith in him.

  Pity filled me. She had no ide
a about anything Julian had done and I couldn’t tell her because she’d confront him and he’d know we knew. Well, that was if she even believed me which I didn’t think she would.

  “I’m sorry if that is what Julian has told you, but he doesn’t pay me any money towards Katie’s upkeep. He never has.”

  “You’re such a lying bitch, how do you pay for your fancy car and fancy house if not for my husband and his money?”

  Julian really had kept her in the dark; I wonder why he’d never told her about my Gran’s money.

  “I don’t need to tell you that. Just know that Julian pays nothing to me at all, not a penny.”

  “You’re lying. Julian is going to go for full custody of Katie. We talked about it last night.” She told me in a sickly sweet voice and I wanted to punch her. I refused to let her see the effect her words had on me.

  “He can try but believe me he will never win.”

  “We’ll see about that. Especially when we tell them you have men staying over.”

  “I do not have men staying over but even if I did, no court will take a child away just because the mother has a boyfriend.”

  “Maybe we’ll say he isn’t your boyfriend, maybe he’s the man who is keeping you. You say Julian isn’t paying your bills so you must be earning it somewhere, perhaps on your back.”

  “Why you little…” I started as I took a step towards her. How dare she accuse me of being a prostitute?

  “Ladies,” Eric’s said in warning as Katie stepped around the corner. I sucked in a deep breath and unclenched my fist. Yes, I was about to punch the cow before Eric had spoken. I, Lexi, who’d never hit anyone in my life was about to punch my daughter’s stepmother. I should probably be glad Katie appeared. She walked to my side and slipped her hand into mine.

  “Are you ok Mummy?”

  I forced a smile. “I’m fine baby; I was just talking to Tammy.”

  Tammy seemed to shake herself. “Hi Katie, Are you looking forward to coming home this weekend?”

  I bit the inside of my cheek tasting blood. There was no way I was letting this woman wind me up in front of Katie. I was vibrating with rage and it was hard to hide it. The words she used were on purpose; perhaps she did want a punch in the face. I noticed Katie didn’t answer her, and she huffed.

  “Lexi, are you ready to go?” Eric asked.

  “Yes, where is Jen?”

  “I’m here, I forgot sprinkles.” She saw the situation for what it was. “Katie, do you want to help me choose a magazine? I want one with lots of shoes.” She held out her hand and Katie squeezed mine before letting go and taking Jen’s.

  Tammy waited until they were out of earshot to hiss. “So, is this the man you have staying over all the time?” She looked Eric up and down. “He doesn’t look rich.”

  “She’s not with me for my money.” He said with a sly grin and I choked back a laugh at her expression. Considering she had no qualms about sleeping with married men her reaction was priceless. She looked horrified.

  “You’re disgusting. You wait until I tell Julian how you’ve spoken to me.”

  “Tell him to call me because I have a lot to say to him.”

  She gave me a dirty look. “He won’t come back to you. He told me you’re lousy in bed.”

  Before, that comment would have hurt me, but now I let it go over my head. Julian wasn’t worth it. “Well, considering Julian only knows one move, and it only lasts about two minutes I’m not surprised he thinks I’m crap. I suppose you like it as long as you have the money to spend.” Two can play that game.

  She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Score one for me. Eric and I watched as she stormed off down the aisle and out the front door. When she was gone I laughed. “I didn’t realise I could be such a bitch.”

  “All women have it in them when they’re cornered. I’m glad you stuck up for yourself.”

  “It felt good at the time, but now I feel guilty. He’s not really that bad, I exaggerated.”

  “Lexi, he’s an asshole. I’d believe you if you told me he has a two-inch penis. We have a new threat to deal with.”

  I sighed. “I can’t believe he would try this, especially now. He’s not having my baby girl.”

  “No, he isn’t. We won’t let him.”

  “I’m worried.”

  “You should be but not for the reasons you think. Come on, we need to catch Katie up, she’s not stupid she knows something's up.”

  I pasted a smile on my face and followed his lead. Katie had four magazines in her hand and I raised my brows at Jen. She shrugged. “I need new shoes.”

  “I’m not sure your bank balance or your wardrobe would agree.”

  She stuck her tongue out.

  Eric took the trolley and herded us to the tills. I reached for my purse once everything was scanned but he shook his head.

  “You know I can afford this, don’t you?”

  “I know.” He said, but he still handed his card over. I frowned.

  “Don’t argue Lex, you won’t win,” Jen said quietly.

  “She’s right. You’re making muffins; I’m just paying for the ingredients.”

  I shrugged, “Fine.”

  He took his card back from the cashier and then he carried the bags to our car.

  “Drive safely. I’ll see you back at your house.”

  All the way home I could feel Jen’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t tell her anything until Katie was out of earshot. She was already too quiet. I stuck the radio on and started singing along, it didn’t take long until they both joined me. Music soothed any problems, for a while anyway.

  Eric made his way to the car when we pulled up outside the house and he grabbed the bags out of the boot before I could. I unlocked the door and let us all in, putting my keys in the bowl I kept by the phone I noticed my answerphone was flashing. I pressed the button as I helped Katie out of her coat and listened as Julian’s voice started speaking. “Lexi, call me, we need to talk.” He sounded normal, just like his old self and I could almost believe I’d imagined everything, but then I remembered what Tammy said and I was furious all over again.

  “Katie, do you want to see what cartoons are on?”

  “Ok Mummy, but will you call me when the muffins are ready, please?”

  “Of course baby, as soon as they are out of the oven.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  “Good, because Eric might eat them all.”

  Eric chuckled. “I wouldn’t do that to such a cute little girl.”

  She didn’t look like she believed him which I found hilarious. “Go on, baby.” I said as I stroked her hair softly.

  Jen had already walked off and when I got to the kitchen, she had a glass of wine ready for me. “Let Eric put the shopping away and tell me what that bitch said to you.” She ordered.

  I sat down at the breakfast table and did just that. Jen didn’t interrupt me, but her face got redder and redder as I kept talking. When I got to the end, I thought she might pass out.

  “How the hell didn’t you slap her?”

  “I nearly punched her,” I admitted.

  “I’m not surprised, I would have. I can’t believe she told you Julian thinks you’re rubbish in bed.”

  “I got my own back on that one.”

  “Yeah, you rock girl.” She giggled.

  “What am I going to do?”

  “About Julian going for custody?”

  “I nodded.

  “He won’t get it, besides Tammy was probably just saying that to hurt you. He probably hasn’t ever mentioned it.”

  “I pray he hasn’t.”

  “You can’t be worried he will win, surely?”

  I shook my head. “I’m worried about what he is up to.”

  “Lex,” I looked at Eric when he spoke. His face was grim. “Whatever he’s doing, you and Katie are safe. No judge would give him custody over you.”

  “I hope you’re right. Thanks for the sympathy, no
w I need to bake. While I do that, I need to think of an excuse why Julian can’t have Katie this weekend.” I could also do with speaking to Ryder. It’s funny because I was so used to dealing with things on my own and now I had Ryder and Eric to help. It felt nice not to be alone.

  “You should just tell him he's a shit father and doesn’t deserve her.”

  “I wish I could but Ryder doesn’t want him tipped off that we know anything,” I explained to Jen. “Me saying something like that would ring alarm bells.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  ****

  We spent the afternoon in peace. Eric and Jen seemed to make an effort to be polite to each other, and I knew it was because I was on the edge, having kept myself busy baking and then playing with Katie, I didn’t give myself time to think, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still furious. I felt helpless, not a good feeling at all. Katie was in danger and there was nothing I could do. It was in Ryder’s hands now and even though I loved him, it still didn’t feel right to rely on him to keep my daughter safe. She is my daughter that’s my job.

  One good thing was that Katie was back to her normal self. I’d explained to her that Tammy, and I had been upset with each other but we’d sorted it out. She’d asked if I was going to call her daddy back and I’d reassured her that I would. It wasn’t a lie; I did intend to call him back, but not until I’d calmed down.

  Now here I sat on my bed feeling exhausted. I’ve had a shower and put my pyjamas on, but I still couldn't relax. I wanted to call Ryder, but it was late and I didn’t want to wake him. Also, I was being a coward because he might have more bad news for me and I didn’t want to hear it, just yet. I decided to send him a quick text message instead to let him know I missed him. Sighing, I placed my phone on the bedside table. I climbed under the covers knowing sleep wasn’t going to be easy, but I needed to try. I turned the light off and rolled over. My last thought was that it would be really nice to have Ryder’s arms around me.

  Something brushed against my neck gently, I moved slightly unsure if I’d imagined it but it happened again. I rolled over and came face to face with a grinning Ryder.