by Sara Dailey
I had no idea what my next move should be. Should I leave like I’d planned? Tell Luke the truth and pray that my alpha didn’t kill me for betraying our pack? Could I actually just stay and pretend I hadn’t been lying to Luke this entire time? Maybe if I switched sides I could prove to Luke in the end that I didn’t want to be a part of this. No, I knew he would hate me either way. But I could stay and do whatever I could to help him find his father and try to protect them from my pack. The truth was I had no idea what the right answer was or if there even was a right answer, but if I had to choose between doing whatever I could to help the Red Ridge Pack or tucking my tail and running, I was going to stay and help. But how was I supposed to face Luke and act as if I wasn’t at fault for any of this?
I was shaken out of my internal what-do-I-do-now tirade when Luke began to run his fingers lightly up and down my arm. “Hey, you still awake?”
The sound of his voice instantly shot little jolts of electricity through my body, causing me to jump a bit, but I tried to play it off by sitting up and looking around. “Yeah, but it looks like everyone else is passed out.”
Luke leaned up and paused the movie. “You hungry? Wanna head down to the kitchen?”
I looked his way and smiled, happy to hear that he felt like eating since I hadn’t seen him eat much all day. “Sure. I’m always up for a late night snack.” I stood, and as I followed him down the stairs, that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was quickly replaced with nerves now that we were alone…kind of, anyway.
On the way into the kitchen, I reminded myself over and over again to just act normal. That was what Luke needed right now. I needed to get out of my own head, get past all the shit rolling around in there, and just be there for Luke. He needed a friend, not a crazy pseudo-girlfriend who had a secret so big that it could fill the entire downstairs.
Luke headed straight for the refrigerator and let out a sigh. “Nothing in here worth eating unless you’re up for takeout from a week or so ago.” He checked the due date on the milk, and asked, “Cereal?”
When he turned my way with a half-empty gallon of milk in his hand, I nodded and watched as he headed over to the pantry to check out our options. “We got Cocoa Puffs, Apple Jacks, and some healthy shit my dad eats.”
I opened up the cabinets I assumed would most likely hold the bowls and replied, “I’ll take the Cocoa Puffs. Then I get chocolate milk too.”
Taking milk and the box of cereal over to the table, he laughed. “That’s what I’ve always said. My dad’s been trying to shovel sugarless, whole-grain oats down my throat for years.”
His smile remained, but it couldn’t hide the sadness in his eyes. Guilt tried its damnedest to swallow me whole right then and there, but I somehow managed to smile back. I just hoped it looked genuine. As I set our bowls down, I replied, “I understand completely. My mother used to try to convince me that if she put fresh strawberries in some Special K that it would taste just as good as my Frosted Flakes. Yeah, not so much.”
We didn’t say much else as we chomped on our Cocoa Puffs, which only served to make the sound of our chewing ridiculously loud. A few times our eyes met, and we both laughed at our failed attempts to quiet our crunching. After his last bite, Luke sat there with a bowl full of chocolate milk and patiently waited for me to finish. When I’d fished out the last few stray puffs and stuck them in my mouth, he watched me chew and then asked, “Ready?”
He lifted his bowl to his lips and waited for me to do the same. With my bowl in my hands, I answered, “Ready.” His smile made me smile, and then we were both trying not to laugh while be gulped down the chocolaty milk. As Luke reached for a napkin, he teased, “Damn girl, you look all kinds of sexy with a mustache.” I shot him a dirty look and snatched the napkin from his hand to wipe my mouth. Chuckling to himself, he rinsed our bowls in the sink, and then I followed him into the living room.
After Luke started a fire in the huge fireplace that took up most of one of the walls, he grabbed a blanket out of a basket next to an oversized chair. I sat down on one end of the couch, and he spread it over my legs. He climbed under the other end of the blanket, and we sat facing each other, myself on one end and Luke on the other with our legs entangled in between. I hoped he couldn’t feel the chill bumps that broke out over my body when his calf rubbed against mine.
Luke stared at the fire and appeared to be lost in thought. Without taking his eyes off the flames, he asked, “So, do you have any idea how long you’re going to stay here?”
A lump formed in my throat at the thought of leaving him. I’d almost left today. I was supposed to leave last night. Yet here I sat, and I knew right then that I didn’t want to ever leave. I could be content staring into Luke Stanton’s eyes for the rest of my life, which was exactly what I was doing until Luke turned his attention to me and raised his eyebrows, probably wondering why I wasn’t answering. “I’m not sure. I guess until my father decides it’s time to leave,” I finally replied.
“So what about your mom? Did she stay with your pack?”
His question caught me off guard, especially since my focus was on the way his leg felt resting against mine. My head snapped up, and the words flew out of my mouth before I had time to consider them. “She died.” Immediately, heat rose to my chest and then up to my cheeks. Luke’s eyes grew wide, and I knew that was probably the last thing he expected to come out of my mouth. From underneath the blanket, he ran his fingers over my leg, and with sad eyes, he said, “I’m sorry to hear that. My mom passed away too, but it was a long time ago. When did you lose her?”
“It’s been almost a year now. But it still seems like yesterday. She was beautiful and perfect. She loved me like no other, but just like that she was gone.” Tears stung my eyes, and I clenched them shut before a drop could fall. I felt like such a fool, but I had never said those words aloud. I had never spoken of her death. Everyone in our pack just knew; I’d never had to actually say it.
When I felt the couch shift, I opened my eyes. Luke sat up and pulled me toward him. “Come here, Scarlett. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He wrapped me up in his arms and laid my body against his. My head rested on his chest, and he ran his fingers through my hair. Nothing had ever felt so good.
“We don’t have to talk about it. I wish I could say that I understand, but I don’t. Not really. My mother died during childbirth, so I never got to meet her. All I know is that my father loved her like crazy. He never really recovered and has never let himself love another woman since. Instead, he poured everything he had left into being my dad and this pack’s enforcer. I’m lucky to have him. He’s always tried to love me enough for the both of them. I guess he felt like he had to make up for my mother not being here.”
“He sounds like a really good guy, your dad. Mine has hardly looked at me since the night my mother died. He’ll never admit it, but he blames me. She was on her way to pick me up from the movies when she was run off the road by an eighteen-wheeler. I’d begged her to let me go to a midnight movie, and I wouldn’t let up until she said yes. My brother tells me all the time that it wasn’t my fault, but she was out that night because of me, so I really can’t blame my father for feeling the way he does.”
Luke pulled his arms around me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “You know you can’t blame yourself, right? It’s not your fault. When I was old enough to understand why I didn’t have a mom like everyone else, my Dad explained, in the best way he could, how she died. I carried that around for a long time, feeling like it was all my fault. It didn’t matter that I was only a baby. If it hadn’t have been for me, she would be alive, and my father would still have her. Even though he told me over and over again, that if that was true, then he wouldn’t have me, I didn’t listen. It took a long time to get past it, but somehow he finally got it through my thick skull. It wasn’t my fault. And it wasn’t yours either.”
My heart swelled. His words meant more to me than he would ever know. I needed to hear it, even
if I wasn’t sure I could believe it yet. But maybe someday…
I kept my head on his chest, thankful he couldn’t see my face. “You’re right. It wasn’t your fault, and I’m sorry you never got to meet your mother. I bet she would have been a wonderful mom.”
“Yeah, I bet she would have too. So you and your mother, were you really close?”
“Very. My dad always favored Gavin, but it didn’t matter then because I was a mommy’s girl from the start. She was my favorite person in the world. My friends used to tease me and say that I’d rather hang out with her than anyone else. And it was true. We did everything together.” My heart warmed as memories of my mother flooded my thoughts. It had been so long since I’d talked about her.
Luke ran his fingers through my hair as we lay there in silence. My eyes closed, and I listened to the beating of his heart, wondering if he was thinking about his dad. As if he could read my mind, he answered my question. “My dad and me are like that too. I hang out with him more than anyone, especially after Gage ran off. It’s weird. He somehow managed to be my best friend and my dad at the same time, you know?”
Luke’s voice cracked a little, and it made my heart hurt. I didn’t look, but I wondered if his eyes were watering too. “Yeah, I know. My mom was like that too. I remember her helping me get ready for my first date. She forced me to go shopping with her and get my nails done. Then she insisted on doing my hair and makeup. I think she was more excited than I was. Then she hugged me, held my hand, and threatened to rip his head off when he dumped me a week later.” I paused for a few seconds as I relived the moment in my head. “She would have really liked you, Luke.”
I felt foolish saying it, but it was true. She would have loved him, but what really stung was the realization that she’d be so disappointed in the choices I’ve made. She certainly would have knocked my dad’s head in for involving me in this.
Luke’s voice broke into my thoughts. “You really think she would have liked me?” He sounded genuinely surprised as if he actually thought I was bullshitting him.
This time, I did look up. “Of course she would have. She would have loved you, Luke… And hey, don’t worry. We are going to find your dad. I’m sure of it.”
He didn’t answer with words. Instead, he pulled me on top of him and kissed me fiercely. Every inch of our bodies melded together. As his hands made their way down my back, he kissed me harder, deeper. I couldn’t help but moan as he grabbed my hips, pulling my body even closer. I felt him harden beneath me, and without a second thought, I rubbed myself against him. My hips rocked back and forth causing a desperate need to build inside of me. Luke’s hands began to explore my body, but I wanted—no, needed—to feel his skin against mine, to feel his taut muscles tighten under my touch.
I pulled up his shirt, and his lips left mine but only long enough to pull his shirt over his head. My eyes took in his perfect physique as I ran my fingertips over his sculpted chest, down the ripples of his stomach, to the waistband of his jeans. I stopped there and looked up just in time to catch a wicked glint in Luke’s eyes.
He sat up and as he pressed his lips to mine once more, his fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt. Slowly, he began to lift it up revealing my stomach, but before it got any further, a light came on upstairs and Cade’s voice followed.
“Hey, Luke? Man, you down there?”
We froze, and all I could do was hope that he stayed put. Luke sighed and under his breath muttered, “Shit.” Then he turned his head to the side so he didn’t yell in my ear. “Yeah, I’m down here with Scarlett. Everything’s fine. Go back to bed.”
“All right, man. I’m gonna watch some TV ‘til I fall back asleep. Let me know if you need anything.”
Luke let out another deep sigh, and I buried my head in his chest in attempt to suppress a girlie giggle. Before long, he was laughing too. I rolled off of him and snuggled into his side. I rested my head on his bare chest, and we laid there without speaking for a while before Luke whispered, “Good night, Scarlett.”
Running my fingers across his chest, I answered, “Good night, Luke.” Then I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER 39
Luke
Images of Scarlett’s long, lean leg draped across mine as she slept soundly on my chest kept flashing through my mind causing me to move a lot slower than normal this morning. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but I really needed last night. I needed to be surrounded by friends. The mindless chit-chat and stupid comedies had helped. I needed to talk about my mom with someone who could relate and understand the guilt I sometimes still feel for my mother’s death. Most importantly though, falling asleep tangled up in Scarlett’s comforting scent somehow made me feel like things were going to be okay. She gave me hope for some kind of future, as cheesy as that sounds.
I had never slept with someone before—I mean actually slept all night together. We were both too emotionally drained from our conversation and not to mention nearly getting busted by Cade for anything more than sleep. Well, at least not until much later in the night. These were the memories I seriously considered might have only been a dream, that is until Scarlett woke up being shy and awkward this morning.
Sometime during the night, while we were sleeping on the sofa together under a warm, fluffy blanket, my hands began moving on their own. First, just slowly up and down her back. Scarlett responded instantly to my touch. Our eyes met in the darkness as we turned to face each other on the sofa only a moment before my lips crashed into hers. While our lips moved with fierce desperation, my hand was gently making its way down until I found the hem of her tank top. I slid my hand up under her top, loving the warmth of her skin. I wrapped my hand around her back and pulled her even closer to me as my tongue delved deeper into her mouth. With my hand at her back, I felt for the clasp of her bra and in one quick motion, unhooked it. I paused for a moment, giving her a chance to stop me, but instead she rocked her hips against me and made the sexiest little moaning sound I had ever heard. That sound alone made me want to slide it into home base, but I couldn’t do that with Scarlett. For the first time, I wanted this to be just about her.
I pushed her tank top up, giving me access to her perfect breasts. I slid my hand up under her bra, and as my fingers toyed with her nipple, she held tight to my shoulder and continued to grind her hips against me. I’d never been so hard in my life. I kissed my way down past her neck. A sharp gasp escaped her lips as my tongue flicked over the peak of her breast. I was in heaven, taking my time, savoring each of those delicious breasts that I had been fantasizing about since I first time I saw them practically bursting out of the top of that sweater at the party by the lake.
Finally, leaving my mouth where it wanted to be, I let my hand travel down the side of her stomach, feeling her muscles twitch under my touch along the way. She was nearly panting, and I knew that it wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge. Scarlett tensed just slightly as my hand dipped under the waistband of her yoga pants, and I urged her knees apart with my leg. Only moments after my fingers found their final destination, I felt her climax as my name passed her lips in a hushed growl.
I trailed little kisses back up her neck to her lips as I felt her entire body begin to relax. Suddenly, my eyes widened as I felt her hand leave my shoulder and quickly slide its way down my stomach. I knew where she was going, and I also knew what would happen between us tonight if she got there, so I stopped her.
“I just don’t want to rush anything with us, okay?” I breathed into her ear.
Testing my resolve, Scarlett pushed herself against me, her palm rubbing my rock-hard erection while whispering, “You sure?”
Holy shit! Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a deep breath and sat up. Turning to face her on the sofa, I froze. She was propped up on some pillows, her hair was a mess, and her lips were swollen. The glow from the fireplace was casting shadows across her face. I swear she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.
“You
are the only thing I am sure about these days,” I admitted.
The playfully seductive smile fell from her lips. She reached for my hand, pulled me back down, and cuddled up around me. That was how we fell back to sleep and that was how we were when we woke up.
I didn’t want Scarlett to leave this morning, but she needed to go home and I needed to get over to Marcus’s and figure out our next step. If the memories of last night were that distracting, I couldn’t imagine what actually having her here by my side all day would be like. When Scarlett was near me, I couldn’t help but feel a little happy even when everything else around me was falling apart, and feeling happy made me feel like shit. If my dad was out there somewhere suffering, I shouldn’t be smiling; I certainly shouldn’t be daydreaming about picking up where Scarlett and I left off last night. But there was a small part of me that knew that my dad would want me to be happy. At least that was what I was telling myself when the phone rang.
“Luke, the Santa Fe Sherriff’s department called. They found your father’s car. Noel and I are leaving now to go meet the Sheriff. Would you like us to pick you up on the way?” Marcus asked.
“Yes, sir. Thank you. Did they say anything about my father?” I asked.
“No, they didn’t, but we may be able to find something in his car that will tell us what happened.”
“Okay, sir. I’m ready when you are.”
“We’ll be there in five.”
Finally, a lead. Making sure that I had my keys and cell phone, I threw on my coat and went to wait on the porch.