by Ally Summers
I felt like every time I brought up something related to my heritage, Drew sidestepped it.
“What if we let our honeymoon last a little longer and then I study? What time do we have to check out?”
“Noon.”
I looked at the antique clock hung over the door. It was ten. I pulled my shirt over my arms and threw it at Drew. “Two hours,” I stated. “Honeymoon me. Take me. Make me yours. It’s all I want for the next two hours.” I shimmied out of my skirt. “I want to scream. I want you to growl. Make me purr.” I walked toward him and threw my arms around his neck. “I want my husband to take his mate for the next two hours.”
He tipped my chin up. “You have a way with words, Mrs. Maddox. It must be that English degree.”
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
His mouth descended on mine and for the next two hours the world faded away and I the only thing I was, was a jaguar’s wife.
25
Drew
I waited at a coffee shop near campus while Francesca was on self-proclaimed lock down in a library study room. She swore she couldn’t get anything done with me around. We both knew it was true.
I pulled the mug to my lips and thought about how things had changed in the past twenty-four hours had changed things. The list was folded in my pocket. Like a knife poking my thigh, reminding me that my omission was the same as a bold-faced lie.
I held it between my fingers and unfolded it. Francesca was the first. I closed my eyes. How was I going to leave? How would I even explain this to her?
She was a part of me now. I could see her and smell her. I could taste her and remember the feel of her skin. The vows might have been a blur, but it didn’t mean I didn’t believe every word. I pledged myself to her.
Why did the council think I needed to move down the list? Why wasn’t this enough? Francesca was more than enough for me. She was my everything. I didn’t want to leave town. I didn’t want to move on. I wanted her.
I shoved the coffee away from me and looked at my phone.
Case might still be on the road. Sullen’s Grove was at the other end of the state. I dialed my brother’s number.
“Didn’t think you’d surface for a few days.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, well Francesca has exams and then we’re going to take a trip for her birthday.”
“Nice. And then where are you headed?” Case asked.
I strummed the table. “Don’t know that I am.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look, Case. I haven’t had enough time with her. It’s not our fault her birthday was only a few days away. I’m going to take my time here.”
“Like hell you are.” His voice grew louder on the phone.
“What? You’re going to make me leave before I fulfill my duty?” I knew I had him there.
He hissed. “You’re a Maddox.”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You haven’t bonded. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“I know what’s expected of us. I know what it takes to claim territory. Are you telling me one girl gets under your skin and you’re giving up on our dynasty?”
I shook my head. “Why can’t we have both?”
“It doesn’t work that way, brother.”
“Well, maybe it should.” I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. His insults. His commands. I hung up before he could utter another word.
I had maybe a couple months at most before the council would order me to move on. Today was the day after my wedding. I should be celebrating, not worrying about this shit. I threw a few bills on the table and walked out of the coffee shop.
I was supposed to meet Francesca outside of the library in thirty minutes. I headed in that direction as if I was drawn to her. As if somehow she could give me an answer. I needed her.
26
Francesca
Studying was pointless. I couldn’t think about anything but the candlelight at the wedding and Drew’s face when he saw me walk down the aisle. It was magical. It was a fairytale. It was perfect.
The books were open in front of me, but I hadn’t read a single word. I knew I wouldn’t. I folded the novels and stacked them on the rolling rack outside the room.
I missed him. I had seen him two hours ago, and yet every fiber in my being longed for him. I was pulled toward him. I hurried and stuffed my backpack with my notebook and pens. I didn’t want to waste another second in the library.
I ran out the doors and down the steps and smack into my husband.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“What are you doing here?” I smiled.
“Thought I’d show up a few minutes early and surprise you.”
“Oh. I thought I’d leave a few minutes early and surprise you.” His hands lined my face as he kissed me deeply.
“So you’re done with the studying?” he asked.
“I think I’ve crammed as much as I possibly can. I’d rather spend the rest of the afternoon with you.”
“How about we talk?”
I looked into his eyes. The bits of playfulness were gone, along with his seductive charm. I felt a rush of panic.
“What is it?”
“Not here.” He looked around. “Let’s go back to the house. I think it’s time I told you about the she-panther’s obligation to her mate.”
I backed up. “Obligation?”
“At the house,” he urged. “Come on. We’ll talk and you can ask all the questions.”
“And you’ll actually answer them this time?”
“Darlin’, I’ll answer everything. We won’t leave your house until you know everything about being a shifter you want to know.”
I don’t know why I was suddenly so scared, but there was a pit of fear budding in my stomach. Things were off. The euphoria that had encased us this morning was gone.
I wanted to get it back. I wanted to be a new happy bride. I wanted to be a christened mate, basking in what we had shared. Drew’s eyes said that right now we had something else to deal with and it wasn’t related to the beautiful night we shared last night.
“Ok, just tell me I can take it.” I sat on the couch while Drew paced in front of me.
“I don’t know how to tell you.”
“We’re mates. Fated mates.” I looked up. “You should be able to tell me anything.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded it and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I read the names. Mine was at the top.
“It’s my list of mates,” he whispered.
“You mean if you didn’t find me?”
He shook his head. “No, those are the ones I still have to find.”
“Still have to find? What the hell are you talking about? We’re married. You asked me to marry you.”
He sat on the edge of the coffee table, his knee almost bumping mine. I tried to ignore the energy between us. It was there no matter what was happening.
“This goes back to your childhood, Francesca. It goes back to the cat lines. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than us.”
“Is it your brother?” I growled. “Is this some kind of sick royal order?”
“No, it’s not Case’s fault. This has been going on forever.”
“I don’t understand.” I buried my face in my hands. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, Drew, except that I’m at the top of your list.”
I don’t think he could have stopped himself if he wanted to. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his strong arms around me.
“I don’t want to leave. I don’t want the list.”
“You promised me an explanation,” I whispered into the flat space on his chest.
“I did.” He paused. “Jaguars don’t take only one mate, Francesca. We take as many as the council hands us.”
I closed my eyes. I listened to what he told me.
“And when I started the journey to find my first mate, I thought of i
t as a rite of passage. I didn’t think about who you would be. I didn’t think about what it would be like to pledge myself to you. I didn’t know what it would be like to take you as my mate. To make you mine.” His voice deepened. “I thought I was fulfilling my duty. Being loyal to the Maddox line.” He tilted my eyes toward his and my heart leapt with desperate hope. “I didn’t know I was going to find you on this list.”
“Are you going to leave me?” It was all I could think about. I would be alone again. Lost in this world. The answers handed to me on a silver platter with romance and a prince, only to be ripped away because of a magical council I’d never heard of.
He clenched his eyes together and I could feel his fists harden against my arms. “I don’t want to.”
“That’s not the same as doing it.” I pushed myself away from him. “You should have told me.”
“All panthers know their duty. How was I supposed to know you’d be the one who didn’t have a clue?”
I stood, glowering at him. “I was abandoned by shifters! It’s not my fault!”
“That’s not what I meant.” He tried to soothe me, but I was beyond hearing his excuses.
His seduction had worked. He had taken the first wife on the list. He had made me his mate. And I fell for it. Head over heels like a stupid idiotic girl in a horror film. I ran for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“For a run. I need space.”
He didn’t follow me. He didn’t call after me. I leapt off the porch, feeling the power of my fur transform as I darted through the woods. There weren’t enough miles between my house and the top of the mountain, but I ran anyway. I ran with speed I’d never felt in my legs. I ran until my lungs would collapse. Once I reached the top I cried a piercing howl that echoed through the valleys. If Drew didn’t know how I felt before, he heard it now.
27
Drew
My heart was lying on the floor, broken in pieces. The blood spilling by the panther howling on the side of the mountain.
The look in her eye. The tone in her voice. Telling her the truth about the list had cost me everything. She’d come home, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to piece us back together.
Damn it. The jaguar in me wanted to chase after her, but she was hurt. She needed the run. I needed her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her and tell her I wouldn’t leave. I’d stay and take my chances with the council. My promise to her meant something.
I fell asleep on the couch, waiting for Francesca to come home. It wasn’t until the early morning when I heard the door open.
I hopped up, rubbing my eyes.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
Her eyes were glued to the floor. “No.”
She stormed past me. I grabbed her above the elbow. “Talk to me.”
“No,” she growled. “Take your hands off me.”
“I won’t leave. Francesca, I won’t don’t it. I won’t follow the list.”
She paused in the hallway. “Is that even possible?”
I shrugged. “It’s going to be. I won’t leave you.”
“What about the council?” Her voice softened.
“I don’t give a shit about them.” I gripped her shoulder, spinning her to face me. “You are my mate. You are my wife. My future. My everything.”
I scanned her eyes for answers. Did she believe me? Did she trust me again?
“You lied. You tricked me. How do I know there aren’t other lies? How do I know there aren’t other parts to being a panther you can use against me? You took my trust in you and used it against me. Do you have any idea what that feels like?” She shrugged off my grip.
“I was fulfilling my duty.”
She laughed. “Jaguar duty. Tribe duty. The duty of the prince declared by his royal highness Case.” Her lips were inches from mine, but I wasn’t expecting a kiss, she could bite me with that look in her eye. “Your duty broke my heart.” She shoved me backward.
She spun on her heel and walked down the hall.
“Where are you going?”
“To shower. To wash the forest off of me. To wash any trace of your touch down the drain.”
“Francesca, wait!” I hollered, but the door slammed in my face.
I had fucked up. And I had no idea how I was going to fix this.
28
Francesca
The run had helped until I saw Drew again. Being close to him reminded me what his body did to me. But I fought the impulse to touch him. I fought the draw to him.
I was a stronger panther than he could even imagine.
I showered and got dressed. My first exam was at eight. I could make it to campus a few minutes early.
I grabbed my backpack and marched past my mate.
“Where are you going now?” He jumped to his feet.
“Exams.” I slammed the front door behind him, not giving him a chance to ask another question.
I clutched the wheel as I drove to campus. If I wasn’t careful, I might rip it from the dash. I’d never felt this kind of fury or betrayal.
But I had no one to blame but myself. Who marries a man they meet in forty-eight hours? A man who admitted he was sent to bond with me. I groaned. I gave into the sexy eyes and biceps. I gave into his lines and kisses. It was my fault.
Drew was right. He was only doing what he had been trained his entire life to do. I was the one who did the opposite. I knew better than to trust. I went against my instincts and got burned.
“Hey, how’s newlywed life?” Alexa greeted me with a chipper smile at the top of the stairs.
“Don’t ask,” I warned.
“Uh, the wedding was beautiful. The groom hot as hell, and his friends were basically walking GQ models. He is totally smitten with you. Don’t tell me you got cold feet.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. We have an exam. A three-hour exam,” I reminded her. The idea of being stuck in this building was a relief. For three hours Drew couldn’t bother me with shifter lies.
“Well, I’m here if you need me,” she offered. “Really, anything you want to talk about.”
“Thanks.” I tried a smile. It felt weird given the circumstances.
We took our seats in the classroom and waited for the questions to appear on the whiteboard. For three hours I’d block out all thoughts of Drew. All our conversations. Our vows. Our bonding. A future that was never going to happen.
I walked through the door and slung my backpack on the floor.
“How was the exam?”
“Why are you still here, Drew?”
“I told you. I’m not leaving.”
“Even if I want you to?” I walked past him and pulled one of the last beers from the fridge.
“Even if you want me to.” He eyed me. “Nothing could make me leave you. Nothing.”
“I don’t even have the energy to fight with you. My brain is fried.”
“Then don’t. Stop fighting. Believe me. Give me a chance to earn your trust again.”
There they were. The lines he was so good at saying. The words I wanted to hear.
“I can’t do this again. I should have never stopped on the side of the road.”
“But you did.” He leaned down in front of me. And the air sparked. I could almost see it. I held my breath, hoping it would go away. I tried to push it out from the space between us, but it was there, pulling me toward him.
“You did stop, Francesca. And you said yes. Over and over again. Every time I asked, you said yes.”
I closed my eyes. I knew what he was talking about. I asked to be claimed. I asked to be his mate. I wanted to marry him.
“Because I didn’t know there was a lineup. You have an entire bench of wives.”
“No, I don’t. I tore up the list.”
I laughed. “You tore it up, so it isn’t so?”
“It’s a start. I don’t have their names. And they don’t know who I am. No one is going to come looking for me. You did something to me. You turned t
his entire journey on its head. You turned me inside out. You’re all I want. This is it. You and me. No list. No more wives. You’re all the she-panther I can handle, darlin’.”
“Damn it. Why do you say those things?”
“Because I mean them. Because I want you to believe me.”
“I want to believe you. But that would require trust. And trust is not something I’m giving out right now.”
Drew looked frustrated. “Then don’t. Don’t trust me. I can take that. I deserve it.”
“What?”
“Pretend I’m that guy on the side of the road. The one you know nothing about. The one you don’t know if you should let in your car, but something in your gut says you should. Pretend it’s the second night I’m here and you can’t keep your hands off me. Pretend that we need each other like we need air. You don’t have to trust me, to want me. I can trust enough for both of us.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Drew…”
His lips brushed over mine tenderly at first, but his hands fisted through my hair and he pulled me from the chair into his arms, picking me up.
“I didn’t say…”
“Don’t say,” he whispered. “Pretend.”
His mouth devoured me as if I had stirred an unleashed hunger in him. He walked down the hall to my room, kicking the door open with the heel of his boot. He dropped me on the bed, discarding his clothes as he pounced on top of me.
He began unbuttoning my shirt, quickly shoving it off my shoulders. The air was pure with lust. The primal need of my panther was awakened as Drew took control.
“Pretend, Francesca.” He kissed my collarbone, dropping kisses behind my ear and along my throat. His fingers threaded through mine as he dipped to kiss the tops of my breasts.
I clutched at his hands. “I don’t have to pretend.” I stared in his eyes.
Something in that moment broke free between us. We clung to each other, kissing and licking. Biting and sucking, as our bodies slid with electric friction. His tongue ran between my breasts down between my legs. I bucked as I felt him settle between my legs. He lashed, flicking against my bud. I felt the vibration of his growl against my thighs.