As You Like It

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As You Like It Page 10

by William Shakespeare


  And turned into the extremity of love.

  I saw her hand. She has a leathern25 hand,

  A freestone-coloured hand. I verily26 did think

  That her old gloves were on, but ’twas her hands.

  She has a huswife’s28 hand, but that’s no matter:

  I say she never did invent this letter,

  This is a man’s invention and his hand30.

  SILVIUS    Sure, it is hers.

  ROSALIND    Why, ’tis a boisterous32 and a cruel style.

  A style for challengers. Why, she defies me,

  Like Turk to Christian. Women’s gentle brain

  Could not drop forth such giant-rude35 invention,

  Such Ethiope36 words, blacker in their effect

  Than in their countenance. Will you hear the letter?

  SILVIUS    So please you, for I never heard it yet,

  Yet heard too much of Phoebe’s cruelty.

  ROSALIND    She Phoebes40 me. Mark how the tyrant writes:

  Read

  ‘Art thou god to shepherd turned,

  That a maiden’s heart hath burned?’

  Can a woman rail thus?

  SILVIUS     Call you this railing?

  Read

  ROSALIND    ‘Why, thy godhead laid apart45,

  Warr’st thou with a woman’s heart?’

  Did you ever hear such railing?

  ‘Whiles the eye of man did woo me,

  That could do no vengeance49 to me.’

  Meaning me a beast.

  ‘If the scorn of your bright eyne51

  Have power to raise such love in mine,

  Alack, in me what strange effect

  Would they work in mild aspect54!

  Whiles you chid me, I did love.

  How then might your prayers56 move!

  He that brings this love to thee

  Little knows this love in me;

  And by him seal up thy mind59,

  Whether that thy youth and kind60

  Will the faithful offer take

  Of me and all that I can make62,

  Or else by him my love deny,

  And then I’ll study how to die.’

  SILVIUS    Call you this chiding?

  CELIA    Alas, poor shepherd!

  ROSALIND    Do you pity him? No, he deserves no pity. Wilt thou

  love such a woman? What, to make thee an instrument68 and

  play false strains69 upon thee? Not to be endured! Well, go your

  way to her, for I see love hath made thee a tame snake70, and

  say this to her: that if she love me, I charge her to love thee.

  If she will not, I will never have her unless thou entreat for

  her. If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word, for here

  comes more company.

  Exit Silvius

  Enter Oliver

  OLIVER    Good morrow, fair ones: pray you, if you know,

  Where in the purlieus76 of this forest stands

  A sheep-cote fenced about with olive trees?

  CELIA    West of this place, down in the neighbour bottom78.

  The rank of osiers79 by the murmuring stream

  Left80 on your right hand brings you to the place.

  But at this hour the house doth keep itself,

  There’s none within.

  OLIVER    If that an eye may profit by a tongue,

  Then should I know you by description,

  Such garments and such years: ‘The boy is fair,

  Of female favour, and bestows86 himself

  Like a ripe sister. The woman low87

  And browner than her brother.’ Are not you

  The owner of the house I did inquire for?

  CELIA    It is no boast, being asked, to say we are.

  OLIVER    Orlando doth commend him91 to you both,

  And to that youth he calls his Rosalind

  Shows bloody handkerchief

  He sends this bloody napkin93. Are you he?

  ROSALIND    I am. What must we understand by this?

  OLIVER    Some of my shame, if you will know of me

  What man I am, and how, and why, and where

  This handkercher97 was stained.

  CELIA    I pray you tell it.

  OLIVER    When last the young Orlando parted from you,

  He left a promise to return again

  Within an hour, and pacing through the forest,

  Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy102,

  Lo, what befell! He threw his eye aside,

  And mark what object did present itself:

  Und’r an old oak, whose boughs were mossed with age

  And high top bald106 with dry antiquity,

  A wretched ragged man, o’ergrown with hair,

  Lay sleeping on his back; about his neck

  A green and gilded109 snake had wreathed itself,

  Who with her head nimble in threats approached

  The opening of his mouth. But suddenly,

  Seeing Orlando, it unlinked112 itself,

  And with indented113 glides did slip away

  Into a bush, under which bush’s shade

  A lioness, with udders all drawn dry,

  Lay couching116, head on ground, with catlike watch

  When that117 the sleeping man should stir; for ’tis

  The royal disposition of that beast

  To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead.

  This seen, Orlando did approach the man

  And found it was his brother, his elder brother.

  CELIA    O, I have heard him speak of that same brother,

  And he did render him123 the most unnatural

  That lived amongst men.

  OLIVER    And well he might so do,

  For well I know he was unnatural.

  ROSALIND    But to127 Orlando: did he leave him there,

  Food to the sucked and hungry lioness?

  OLIVER    Twice did he turn his back and purposed so,

  But kindness130, nobler ever than revenge,

  And nature, stronger than his just occasion131,

  Made him give battle to the lioness,

  Who quickly fell before him, in which hurtling133

  From miserable slumber I awaked.

  CELIA    Are you his brother?

  ROSALIND    Was’t you he rescued?

  CELIA    Was’t you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

  OLIVER    ’Twas I, but ’tis not I. I do not shame

  To tell you what I was, since my conversion

  So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

  ROSALIND    But, for141 the bloody napkin?

  OLIVER    By and by.

  When from the first to last betwixt us two,

  Tears our recountments had most kindly144 bathed,

  As how I came into that desert place:

  In brief, he led me to the gentle duke,

  Who gave me fresh array and entertainment147,

  Committing me unto my brother’s love,

  Who led me instantly unto his cave,

  There stripped himself, and here upon his arm

  The lioness had torn some flesh away,

  Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted

  And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.

  Brief, I recovered154 him, bound up his wound,

  And after some small space155, being strong at heart,

  He sent me hither, stranger as I am,

  To tell this story, that you might excuse

  His broken promise, and to give this napkin,

  Dyed in this blood, unto the shepherd youth

  Rosalind faints

  That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

  CELIA    Why, how now, Ganymede? Sweet Ganymede!

  OLIVER
    Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

  CELIA    There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede!

  OLIVER    Look, he recovers.

  ROSALIND    I would I were at home.

  CELIA    We’ll lead you thither.— I pray you, will you take

  They get Rosalind to her feet

  him by the arm?

  OLIVER    Be of good cheer, youth. You a man! You

  lack a man’s heart.

  ROSALIND    I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body170 would think

  this was well counterfeited! I pray you tell your brother how

  well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho!

  OLIVER    This was not counterfeit: there is too great testimony

  in your complexion that it was a passion of earnest174.

  ROSALIND    Counterfeit, I assure you.

  OLIVER    Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a

  man.

  ROSALIND    So I do. But, i’faith, I should have been a woman by

  right.

  CELIA    Come, you look paler and paler. Pray you draw

  homewards. Good sir, go with us.

  OLIVER    That will I, for I must bear answer back how you

  excuse my brother, Rosalind.

  ROSALIND    I shall devise something: but I pray you commend

  my counterfeiting to him. Will you go?

  Exeunt

  Act 5 Scene 1

  running scene 11 continues

  Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey

  TOUCHSTONE    We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle

  Audrey.

  AUDREY    Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old3

  gentleman’s saying.

  TOUCHSTONE    A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile

  Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays

  claim to you.

  AUDREY    Ay, I know who ’tis: he hath no interest in8 me in the

  world. Here comes the man you mean.

  Enter William

  TOUCHSTONE    It is meat and drink to me to see a clown10. By my

  troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We

  shall be flouting: we cannot hold12.

  WILLIAM    Good ev’n, Audrey.

  AUDREY    God ye14 good ev’n, William.

  WILLIAM    And good ev’n to you, sir.

  TOUCHSTONE    Good ev’n, gentle friend. Cover thy head16, cover

  thy head. Nay, prithee be covered. How old are you, friend?

  WILLIAM    Five and twenty, sir.

  TOUCHSTONE    A ripe age. Is thy name William?

  WILLIAM    William, sir.

  TOUCHSTONE    A fair name. Wast born i’th’forest here?

  WILLIAM    Ay, sir, I thank God.

  TOUCHSTONE    ‘Thank God’. A good23 answer. Art rich?

  WILLIAM    Faith, sir, so-so.

  TOUCHSTONE    ‘So-so’ is good, very good, very excellent good.

  And yet it is not, it is but so-so. Art thou wise?

  WILLIAM    Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

  TOUCHSTONE    Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a

  saying: ‘The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man

  knows himself to be a fool.’ The heathen philosopher, when

  he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he

  put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were

  made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?

  WILLIAM    I do, sir.

  TOUCHSTONE    Give me your hand. Art thou learnèd35?

  WILLIAM    No, sir.

  TOUCHSTONE    Then learn this of me: to have is to have, for it is a

  figure38 in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a

  glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For all your

  writers do consent that ipse40 is he. Now, you are not ipse, for I

  am he.

  WILLIAM    Which he, sir?

  TOUCHSTONE    He, sir, that must marry this woman: therefore,

  you clown, abandon — which is in the vulgar44 ‘leave’ — the

  society — which in the boorish45 is ‘company’ — of this

  female — which in the common46 is ‘woman’, which together

  is: abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou

  perishest. Or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit48, I

  kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy

  liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in

  bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction51; I will

  o’errun thee with policy52. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty

  ways: therefore tremble and depart.

  AUDREY    Do, good William.

  WILLIAM    God rest55 you merry, sir.

  Exit

  Enter Corin

  CORIN    Our master and mistress seeks you. Come, away,

  away!

  TOUCHSTONE    Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.— I attend58, I attend.

  Exeunt

  Act 5 Scene 2

  running scene 11 continues

  Enter Orlando and Oliver

  Orlando with his arm in a sling

  ORLANDO    Is’t possible that on so little acquaintance

  you should like her? That but seeing, you should love her?

  And loving, woo? And wooing, she should grant? And will

  you persever4 to enjoy her?

  OLIVER    Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the

  poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing,

  nor her sudden consenting. But say with me, I love Aliena.

  Say with her that she loves me; consent with both that we

  may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good, for my father’s

  house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I

  estate11 upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.

  Enter Rosalind

  ORLANDO    You have my consent. Let your wedding be

  tomorrow: thither will I invite the duke and all’s contented13

  followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look you, here

  comes my Rosalind.

  ROSALIND    God save you, brother16.

  OLIVER    And you, fair ‘sister’17.

  ROSALIND    O my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee

  wear thy heart in a scarf19!

  ORLANDO    It is my arm.

  ROSALIND    I thought thy heart had been wounded with the

  claws of a lion.

  ORLANDO    Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.

  ROSALIND    Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to

  swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?

  ORLANDO    Ay, and greater wonders than that.

  ROSALIND    O, I know where you are27: nay, ’tis true. There was

  never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams and

  Caesar’s thrasonical29 brag of ‘I came, saw, and overcame.’ For

  your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no

  sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they

  sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the

  reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the

  remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair34 of stairs

  to marriage, which they will climb incontinent35, or else be

  incontinent before marriage; they are in the very wrath36 of

  love
and they will together: clubs cannot part them.

  ORLANDO    They shall be married tomorrow, and I will bid38 the

  duke to the nuptial. But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into

  happiness through another man’s eyes! By so much the

  more shall I tomorrow be at the height of heart-heaviness,

  by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what

  he wishes for.

  ROSALIND    Why then, tomorrow I cannot serve your turn44 for

  Rosalind?

  ORLANDO    I can live no longer by thinking.

  ROSALIND    I will weary you then no longer with idle talking.

  Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, that I

  know you are a gentleman of good conceit49: I speak not this

  that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge,

  insomuch I say I know you are. Neither do I labour for a51

  greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief

  from you, to do yourself good and not to grace me. Believe

  then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since

  I was three year old, conversed with a magician, most

  profound in his art and yet not damnable56. If you do love

  Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out57, when

  your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her. I know

  into what straits59 of fortune she is driven, and it is not

  impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient60 to you, to set

  her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is61, and

  without any danger.

  ORLANDO    Speak’st thou in sober63 meanings?

  ROSALIND    By my life, I do, which I tender64 dearly, though I say I

  am a magician: therefore, put you in your best array65, bid

  your friends, for if you will be married tomorrow, you shall,

  and to Rosalind, if you will.

  Enter Silvius and Phoebe

  Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.

  PHOEBE    Youth, you have done me much ungentleness69,

  To show the letter that I writ to you.

  ROSALIND    I care not if I have. It is my study71

  To seem despiteful72 and ungentle to you.

  You are there followed by a faithful shepherd.

  Look upon him, love him: he worships you.

  PHOEBE    Good shepherd, tell this youth what ’tis to love.

  SILVIUS    It is to be all made of sighs and tears,

 

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