by M. J. Haag
I leaned against the fence, momentarily distracted from my search by the new animals and the progress the fey had made overnight. The pigs roamed their own pen that had a separate entrance to the shed the fey had erected. Not only would the building keep the pigs warm, but they’d even added roosts in case we found chickens. The horses had stalls. As pretty as they were to look at, I knew better than to get too close. They were still skittish, and I could only imagine what they’d gone through before we’d shown up.
It was the birds that really fascinated me, though.
A fey had found them nested in the loft of the barn where they had been trapped when the hellhound had arrived. They weren’t domesticated but wild. The first wild animals I’d seen since before the earthquakes.
“I thought you would sleep later.”
I tore my gaze from the animals and watched Merdon close the distance between us.
“I might have if you’d been in bed too. The girls told me that they barely left their houses the first few days after they gave the green light to their guys. Why’d you leave?”
He looked out over the animals.
“I have no memory of a horse or a pig. They are interesting.”
“They are. I like the birds best, though. I haven’t seen any wild ones since before the earthquakes.”
“The new female said the birds appeared in their barn a few weeks ago.”
“Do you think they’ll stay?”
“The man wants them to stay.”
“I meant the birds,” I said with a laugh. Though, I understood why he’d thought the other way. Finding another human female was a big deal, especially one who wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.
“Perhaps. If they don’t, a fey will try to follow to see where they go.”
We watched the animals in silence for a few more moments.
“Are you going to answer my question, Merdon?”
He continued to study the animals.
“Yesterday was filled with many things for you. You needed rest and comfort.”
“Okay, but I’m still clueless why you left me alone in bed this morning. Are we only going to be a once a day couple? I mean, it’s fine if that’s all you want, but I was kind of led to believe I’d be walking with a hitch for the first week.”
My teasing smirk faltered when Merdon’s heated gaze landed on me.
“I left so you would be well-rested for today. Are you well-rested?”
I hesitated a bit too long.
“Do you need help deciding if you’re well-rested?”
A grin parted my lips, and I slowly nodded.
In a familiar move, he crouched low.
“Run, my Hannah.”
My eyes went wide, and I pivoted, not needing to be told twice. My laughter trailed behind me as I sprinted for the house. I barely made it ten yards before he grabbed me around the waist and spun me around and over his shoulder. I landed with an oof and squealed when his hand smacked down on my butt.
“You’re going to pay for that,” I said.
He rubbed the skin, sending tingles to all the right places.
“I will pay and pay until you scream my name,” he promised.
I couldn’t wait for him to keep his word. Today. Tomorrow, and every day afterward.
Thank you for reading Demon Disgrace! Keep reading the for a whole lot of character insight or click here to get to the next book in the series.
Author’s Note
(prepare yourself…it’s long!)
First and foremost, thank you for reading! I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Your reviews, emails, and comments begging for more books are the reasons I keep writing. They’re also the reasons for this very long note.
I have so much to say about Hannah and Merdon, but first I wanted you to know that I’ve heard you. Some of you have reached out to me personally. Some of you have left reviews with your thoughts and feelings. I appreciate everyone sharing, and I want to address some of your concerns.
First, I’d like to address the age of the characters I’ve been writing. Although the books written under MJ Haag are labeled “adult” romance because of the steamy content, they actually fall into the New Adult category because of the characters’ ages. As is typical for that category, my characters range between 18 and 25. (The exception to that age bracket is the Beastly Tales, which take place in a fantasy world that shares many aspects of an older, pre-industrial Europe. That includes the notions that maturity is obtained much earlier and that 16 is considered an adult and old enough to marry.) If the age of the characters written under M.J. Haag bothers you, New Adult fiction probably isn’t your thing, and that’s okay.
Second, I’d like to address the maturity of my heroines. I strive to write unique characters. That includes diverse maturity levels. In this series, each and every character has had some kind of trauma or profound event that has shaped them into the person they are on the page. Brenna’s family suffered a great deal of trauma before the earthquakes because of her mother’s accident. I’ve known teens who’ve had to help care for a loved one, and the maturity they displayed because of those times has left a lasting impression. That’s not to say they’re now exempt from making youthful mistakes, just that they are likely to handle the fallout more reasonably than the average teen.
Characters, like real people, aren’t defined by their age but by their life experiences.
Now, for the hot mess that is Hannah. She didn’t suffer any trauma before the quakes and struggled to make just about every choice that faced her. I’m not sure what else to say about her. When we started the series together, Hannah was all sunshine and rainbows. Then, as things progressed and we got to know her a little better, we saw some behavioral changes, a common trait with alcoholism.
Alcoholism is a serious topic, and most of us have been, or will be, touched by it in our lifetimes. It’s a multifaceted disease that can be so different from person to person. While Hannah is a fictitious character, I did my best to walk the line between realism behind her compulsion to drink, its effects on her and her recovery, and the timeline and constraints of the Resurrection world.
Although one of the major signs of alcoholism is behavioral changes, Hannah’s couldn’t all be contributed to her drinking. The post-traumatic stress from what happened to her sister was also a major issue. Hannah had been hiding who she really was as well as the deep pain caused by even deeper secrets. Some issues just won’t stay buried. PTSD is serious in how it can impact mental health and behavior.
The complexity of Hannah’s situation and character made her difficult to write, especially during a world crisis. Her thoughts were heavy and dark. Yet, I deeply feel that her story needed to be told.
Hannah’s guilt ate at her. She couldn’t cope with the choices she’d made and turned to drinking. With the drinking came the blame. Part of her healing was seeing the truth of her situation and how her actions were playing an active part in the way the people around her were responding to her. Even as she was healing and dealing, she was still trying to blame. It’s human nature to not want to own up to our faults.
We are not perfect people, but we have the ability to redeem ourselves and our past mistakes through our current and future choices. By being open to the fact that all of us have flaws, we can work on our own imperfections instead of focusing on the imperfections of others.
We can strive to be the best version of ourselves possible, no matter the circumstance.
And…that’s enough heavy thinking and topics for now.
While this book might seem like it’s all about Hannah’s problems (that’s what she’d want you to think), it’s more deeply about the Resurrection world community that’s been building since the end of the third book. Becca and I destroyed the world in book one, and even though I love writing in a broken world, leaving it like that wouldn’t make for a good conclusion to the series. So, I wanted to start putting some of the pieces back together and give you a glimpse of what the f
uture will be like for the Resurrection world when the series does end.
The next book, as you’ve probably already guessed, will be about Tor and a new girl, June. As I’ve mentioned above and as the end of Demon Disgrace has hinted, the world is changing. Because of the big changes occurring in the next book and the direction the characters are currently steering their story, I see another long book in my future. To help keep the size manageable and to give you an advance peek, I’ve been busy writing and compiling bits of June’s backstory (let’s call it The Making of June) as they have popped into my head so I can share it with everyone before the release of her book. You can download your copy here.
I’m hoping their story, Demon Fall, will be filled with a few more laughs, but I never really know the direction they’ll take until I’m writing it. Like my kids, my characters are rarely influenced by my wants.
For those wondering what happened to Uan, you will get more information about him in the next book because the timelines cross a little (just like the timeline in Demon Dawn and Demon Disgrace crossed).
I’ll post a poll in my newsletters to ask if you all want the book after Tor and June’s story to be the end of the series next (a.k.a. where in the hell did Molev go?), or if you’d like to hear about one or two more fey first. Be sure to weigh in! Every vote counts!
Until next time, happy reading!
Melissa