by Brown, T. J.
She turned quickly to the stout woman in front of her as the tears locked behind her eyes threatened to spill over. If she began crying, she might never stop, and she still had hours until this ghastly reception was over. “Thank you so much for coming . . .” Her mind blanked as she desperately tried to come up with a name.
“Your father was a good man, dear.” The still nameless woman patted her hand and moved on.
When the tide of mourners coming through the door waned, she was finally able to leave the foyer. Snatching up a glass of brandy, she gulped it down, ignoring her uncle’s frown from across the room. She needed something to help her get through the rest of the evening.
That done, she wandered from room to room, looking above people’s heads so she wouldn’t have to make the obligatory society chitchat. Her father had been contemptuous of that sort of empty nattering and Rowena shared the sentiment. Aristocratic prattle made her contrary and apt to say things like “Beastly weather, isn’t it?” even if there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
So she avoided it, plumping the pillows on the winged-back sofa and wiping away a water ring on a Chinese bamboo side table. Before her parents had moved into the stuffy old Victorian home, her father had gutted it, making the rooms larger, adding a glass dome above the staircase to let in more light and plastering the walls in a creamy white. From the sash windows in the front to the gleaming mahogany floors dotted with Oriental rugs, everything about her house was beloved. Her mother had decorated it for comfort rather than show and had ended up creating a spacious, airy home that was both supremely comfortable and pleasing to the eye.
Her uncle came to her side. “As soon as the crowd thins out a bit, I need you to meet me in the study. Your father’s solicitor wishes to discuss the details of your father’s will with us.”
“Will?” she asked stupidly. Perhaps the brandy hadn’t been a good idea.
“Of course. You didn’t think he would leave you and Victoria without means, did you?”
Without means? She turned the phrase over in her mind. Well, no. She had never thought about money at all. Her father took care of household expenses. She suddenly realized that he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. Her throat tightened. Wouldn’t the solicitor take care of that? Or the bank?
Her uncle continued. “We need to discuss your future. He never spoke about any of this with you?”
She shook her head, bewildered, and her uncle awkwardly patted her shoulder. “Never mind, dear. We will talk about it with Mr. Barry.”
He moved away, leaving her to ponder his words. Her future? The thought of her future had always filled her with a certain anxiety. Her girlfriends or their parents always had so many plans regarding their futures, while hers remained a frustrating blank. She just couldn’t seem to make up her mind as to what she wanted to do, despite her efforts to fill the void. One summer, on the advice of a friend, she had thrown herself into sports until she could play lawn tennis with a vengeance and golf as well as any man, but once she realized the void was still there, her racquet and clubs were relegated to the attic. Finally, at her father’s gentle nudging, she’d dedicated herself to the National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies. Because she wanted to please her father, she remained involved long after she would have drifted away on her own. The women there made her uncomfortable. Confident and self-reliant, they were all charting their own paths, while her own remained a mystery. She supposed that someday she would marry, but it wasn’t really a priority and she had yet to meet a young man who interested her. Most of the girls she’d grown up with thought marriage was the epitome of their life ambitions, while many of the women at the suffrage meetings decried marriage as a form of slavery. Though her father never agreed with that sentiment, he wasn’t keen on the idea of her marrying young either. “Plenty of time for that,” her father always said. So Rowena had drifted, strangely apathetic about her own future.
How quickly things changed. Her father had been in excellent health until he had caught cold several weeks ago. The cold rapidly turned into pneumonia, and then he was beyond talking to her about her future or anything else.
Rowena took another brandy for good measure and made her way through the throng of people to the upstairs library.
Once inside she stopped, the scent of worn leather, pipe tobacco, and dried foliage triggering thousands of memories. No room in the house was more her father’s than this one. Part study, part library; she, Victoria, and Prudence had spent many hours reading or playing quietly while her father worked, categorizing and recategorizing the dozens of plant specimens he collected or grew in the conservatory. A noted botanist, he never grew tired of discussing his work, and she often asked questions just to hear the warmth and excitement of his voice as he answered.
Swallowing, she avoided the captain’s chair behind the polished wooden desk and sat in a comfortable chenille chair facing one of the four dormer windows lining the wall.
She sipped her brandy, letting the warmth slowly course through her body, calming her nerves.
“I’m sorry your wife couldn’t accompany you,” a voice said behind her. Rowena recognized it as her father’s solicitor.
“She was feeling poorly and I thought it prudent that she remain at home. London in the fall is rife with illness,” her uncle said.
“Very wise.”
Rowena leaned forward to announce her presence, but her uncle continued.
“Besides, she always disapproved of the way our nieces were raised. Poor Philip was a bit of an individualist, I’m afraid. It’s a wonder both girls aren’t raging suffragists.”
She’d best put a stop to this immediately. She coughed discreetly and stood, facing her uncle.
Both men startled. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I must have dozed off.”
“And it’s no wonder,” Mr. Barry put in quickly. “It’s been a trying day for all of us. My deepest condolences, Miss Buxton.”
“Thank you.” She turned to her uncle. “Have the guests left?”
“The last of them are leaving now. The servants are taking care of it. Shall we be seated?”
She liked Mr. Barry, who wore his thin, hawked nose like a badge of honor, a contrast to the untidy tufts of white hair now freed from his hat. He went to her father’s desk and opened a valise. As he sat at her father’s chair, Rowena looked away and took one of the seats in front of the desk. Her uncle sat at the other.
Mr. Barry cleared his throat. “There are really no surprises here. Your father not only had the allowance from the family estate, but he received a good sum of money when he was knighted. He invested well, and you and Victoria are the only beneficiaries.”
She nodded. Who else would there be? As the youngest son, her father had no precious title to bestow on a male heir.
“However, he did appoint your uncle as guardian of your financial trust until you reach the age of twenty-five or marry an appropriate man, whichever comes first.”
She frowned, drumming her fingers on the arm of her chair. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“It means that your uncle or his solicitor will pay all of your expenses and oversee your investments until you are old enough to inherit. It was your father’s way of protecting you and Victoria from common fortune-seekers.”
On the surface, it seemed reasonable, but underneath, the first stirrings of unease niggled. Did that mean her uncle would be in charge of her life for the next three years? Or that he had to approve of her choice of husband before she could marry? Not that marriage was imminent, but the thought of having to consult with her uncle on expenditures . . .
“So really, nothing will change, correct? Our household expenses and bills will simply be sent to my uncle instead of my”—she choked slightly on the word—“father?”
Mr. Barry nodded. “Exactly.”
Her uncle cleared his throat. “Your aunt and I discussed the matter and we feel it best if you spend the winter at Summerset.”
She chose her
words carefully. “Thank you for your offer, Uncle, but I think it would be beneficial for Victoria if we did not make too many changes all at once. We should stick as closely as possible to our regular routine . . .” Her voice trailed off, knowing how impossible that would be with her father’s absence.
“Would you please leave us, Mr. Barry? This is family business now,” Uncle Conrad said.
The solicitor nodded. “Again, my condolences, Miss Rowena. Your father was a good man and a good friend.”
She nodded, unable to speak.
When Mr. Barry had gone, her uncle turned to her, his eyes kinder than she had ever seen them. The family resemblance to her father took her breath away. They had the same firm jaw and aquiline nose and the same green eyes. No, not the same, she decided. Her father’s eyes were warm and humorous, whereas her uncle’s were somber, no doubt from years of carrying the responsibility of the family estate and title.
“Don’t you think it would be better to make a complete break with the past? The house will be full of sad memories for you and your sister. Besides, your aunt Charlotte and I aren’t sure we will even keep the house. The house in Belgravia is much larger and better located.”
Her head jerked up. “What do you mean, not keep our house? Of course we’re keeping our house! This is our home!”
“But for how long? When you and Victoria are married, you both will have homes of your own. I’m not entirely sure I want to have the expense of maintaining two London houses.”
She leaned forward, gripping the arms of the chair. “Why should you have to maintain it? The expense will come from father’s money, surely?”
“The house did not belong to your father,” he told her gently. “It belongs to the estate. My father bought it for him as a wedding gift, but retained the deed.”
She glanced around her father’s beloved study, which wasn’t his after all. And because it wasn’t his, it wasn’t hers.
“Please don’t sell it,” she pleaded. “What about the furniture? The servants?”
He patted her hand.
“I did not wish to upset you,” he said, placating her. He stood as if the conversation was over. “These decisions do not have to be made today. But I must insist that you and Victoria accompany me home. We will be laying your father to rest in the family crypt. Surely you wish to be there for that. And Victoria loves Summerset.”
She leaned back into the chair, trembling with anger and loss. “Of course. When do you wish to leave?”
“Decency demands we do it as soon as possible, but I have business to attend to in the morning. We can leave the day after.”
His voice sounded relieved that she wasn’t making more of a fuss. But why would she? She wasn’t a child and his arguments were reasonable. She would deal with the house issue at a later date. She could not allow him to sell their home. But right now, she just wished to escape to her room to think.
“Very well,” she said. “I will have Victoria and Prudence pack their things.”
Her uncle had turned to the door, but now he paused. “There is no need to bring servants. You’ll be well cared for at our home, as always.”
She stiffened. “Prudence isn’t a servant.”
“Of course she is. She was the governess’s daughter. It’s only because of your father’s generosity that she was kept on after her mother passed.”
“My father loved Prudence, as do my sister and I,” she flared. “She is part of the family.”
Her uncle blanched. “I’m afraid your father allowed you and your sister too much latitude concerning this girl. She certainly is not a part of the family.”
“She is! She’s been a member of our family for almost as long as I can remember. He treated her no differently than he treated Victoria and me. She was educated with us, went shopping with us, and—”
“Your father was a good man, but he had dangerously liberal convictions. I allowed him that privilege because he never disgraced the family name. Though not formally introducing you to society came perilously close.”
Rowena stood and faced her uncle. “We were so suitably introduced to society! Both Victoria and I were presented to the Queen, as is proper, but neither one of us wanted a coming-out ball. We detest that kind of showy, excessive waste. Did you know you could feed one hundred families for a year on the money spent just on the flowers for one ball? We did our duty by attending the occasional society or charity function, but we simply weren’t interested in that sort of thing. Our father respected that.”
His jaw tightened. “That is precisely what I am talking about. How are you to find a suitable husband if you don’t enter society? Your aunt especially has been worried about the both of you. I should have stepped in years ago. Never mind that now. You and your sister will accompany me to Summerset and Prudence will remain in London.”
His voice was implacable and Rowena stilled, her stomach coiling into knots. Instinctively, she knew she would get nowhere if she defied him outright, but leaving Prudence behind was unthinkable. She took a deep breath and, keeping her voice steady, tried a different tactic.
“Prudence has been like a sister to us, but more important, she has always been Victoria’s companion. No one can settle Victoria as she can, and Victoria is so delicate . . . With our father’s death, I’m afraid one more loss would be harmful to her health.” She paused, letting that sink in. To deny his sickly niece her companion would seem heartless. Besides, even her uncle had a soft spot for Victoria. “If you will allow us to take her as our lady’s maid, it would be beneficial for Victoria, as well as being perfectly appropriate. Surely you wouldn’t deny us our lady’s maid?”
She pressed her hands in front of her and lowered her eyes. Inside she seethed.
Her uncle’s jaw worked. They both knew she’d backed him into a corner. “Of course, if you insist. But just remember, she is coming as staff, not a guest in our home.”
He inclined his head and left the room. Trembling, Rowena fell back into the chair and covered her face with her hands. The enormity of her responsibilities choked her. Father, what have you done? A man who had raised her to independence had essentially shackled her to a man who didn’t believe women should be independent at all. She could lose the house, Prudence . . . everything.
Drawing in a deep breath, she collected her thoughts. How independent had she been, really? She knew nothing of finances and had never bothered to ask. She’d had all of the freedom, none of the responsibility, and stupidly she’d never even know what to ask for. She’d been selfish, thoughtlessly flitting from one whimsy to another, never learning anything useful. No wonder her father had given financial responsibility to his brother.
It was a mistake she couldn’t afford to make again. Not with Prudence and Victoria depending on her, even though the thought of having people depend on her for good decisions terrified her. Decision making had never been her forte.
She stood, glancing about the room, at the wooden telescope by the corner window, the globe she and the little girls had played with so often, pretending to be world travelers, the lamb’s wool rug she and Prudence had lain upon, their toes pointed toward the fire as they read.
It was up to her to keep this precious room and her little family intact. There was no one but herself to do it.
CHAPTER
TWO
Victoria had a secret.
It was the first thing she thought of in the mornings and the last thing she thought of at night. She hugged it to her breast like a treasure that was hers and hers alone. Of course, her father had known her secret, as did Katie, the parlor maid, but since he was gone now, it really, truly was her very own.
Papa.
Again, the overwhelming feelings of loss clawed at her insides and she curled up into a ball, pulling the coverlet tighter around her chin. The early morning sun streaming through the gaps in the curtains glanced off the French bird’s-eye maple headboard, causing it to shimmer and gleam as though it were a living thing. She
traced the inlaid floral pattern of the wood, her finger leaving a smudgy trail in the wax.
Papa.
Restlessly, she slipped out of bed, kicking her legs to untangle them from the fine cotton nightgown that covered her from neck to toe. It often wrapped itself tightly around her in the night, making her feel as though she were in a burial shroud. Next to her, Prudence sighed and slipped further down under the covers to make up for the loss of Victoria’s warmth. Victoria didn’t like to sleep alone. Nightmares plagued her sleep and Prudence’s warm presence comforted her.
Katie had already started a fire in the cream-tiled fireplace, and it burned cheerfully behind the brass screen, fighting off the autumn chill. Victoria’s dressing gown and knitted slippers had been placed on the ottoman in front of it to warm. She wrapped the dressing gown around her, frowning at the satin pink ribbons and rosettes adorning the sleeves and yoke. Rowena had bought it for her last Christmas, and though Victoria hadn’t told her, it always made her feel like a child.
Rowena had come into her room last night to tell her they were shutting down the London house and moving to Summerset for the winter. She loved Summerset, but there was something Rowena wasn’t telling them, she could sense it.
The only secrets Victoria enjoyed were her own.
Frowning, she curled up on the velvet window seat and opened the curtains just enough to see out. Below, the dairy truck was delivering milk, cheese, butter, and eggs. At every stop, kitchen maids would meet the deliveryman at the door for their goods so that when their employers arose, there would be fresh cream for morning tea or coffee. She knew the servants would bolt their own breakfast sometime between when their employers awoke and when they came downstairs for their meal.