by Kelly Wacker
“Hell, yeah!”
“Okay, then. Let’s work our way that direction.” Sula pointed upstream and adjusted the wicker creel slung over her shoulder. She planned to end up near a pool that she knew had an abundant population of fish. She felt confident that, between the two of them, they would catch their limit and be able to stop by Betty’s house to give her a couple on the way back to Melissa’s cabin. Sula expected that Robert would enjoy returning to his wife and daughter in the afternoon with several fish to add to their grilled-steak dinner.
“Are you saying my grandmother was a lesbian?” Rachel, Melissa’s mother, cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.
“Well…yeah,” Melissa said. They sat in the Adirondack chairs on the deck enjoying the view of the meadow, each with a second cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll that Sula had brought with her when she picked up her father.
“Care to explain that?” Rachel looked skeptical.
“From what’s in the letters, it’s pretty explicit that Ursula loved Evelyn, and it seems like it was reciprocal. Evelyn’s parents didn’t like Ursula.”
“But you said Ursula had a daughter.”
“Yes, Inga, Sula’s grandmother. Sula says Ursula never married, and no one knows who Inga’s father was. She was raised by her grandparents after Ursula was killed in a hunting accident.”
“That’s such a tragic story.” Rachel took a sip of coffee, shaking her head. “But about my grandmother, she got married. To a man. And she had a child—my mother, your grandmother.”
“Are you trying to say they weren’t lesbians because they had children and got married? Well, one of them got married.” Melissa tore off a piece of the tender roll and popped it into her mouth.
“Maybe.” Rachel shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’m saying. I’m just trying to get my head around it.”
“I know. It’s complicated. It was so different then. Gay people didn’t have understanding and supporting parents. Some of us still don’t, but at least now many of us have parents like you and Dad.” Melissa paused and beamed at her mother. “That’s a pretty recent change. Not that long ago it wasn’t uncommon for lesbians and gay men to marry, have families, and keep their true sexual orientation a big, big secret.”
“And be terribly unhappy, I suspect. I can’t imagine marrying someone I didn’t love.”
Melissa nodded. “Do you know when Evelyn, your grandmother, got married?”
“They married when my grandfather enlisted in the navy after the attack on Pearl Harbor. If you enlisted, you were allowed a little more time to get your affairs in order before you had to report for basic training. Enough time for a wedding and a quick honeymoon.”
“And to get pregnant, it seems. Wasn’t she widowed? He was killed in the Pacific, right?”
“His ship hit a mine. Most of the crew survived, but he was one of the unlucky ones.”
“And she never remarried…I think there’s a story there.” Melissa sipped her coffee and took the last bite of the roll, the soft, gooey center. Had marrying been an attempt at having a “normal” life? Or maybe Evelyn’s parents had pushed her into it after Ursula died. Either way, after Evelyn’s husband was killed in the war she probably felt less pressure to marry again. As a Gold Star Wife she would have had a respected status in postwar American society. Melissa let the thoughts roll around in her head. The more she learned, the less she knew, it seemed. Her desire to reveal the mystery of their lives strengthened. Suddenly, Melissa thought about her brother, Dave, a naval pilot. The mention of Pearl Harbor and the navy must have made her think of him. “Hey, speaking of the navy…how’s Dave? I haven’t heard from him in a while.”
“The usual. He’s busy and can’t talk much about exactly what he’s doing. Typical secret military stuff. I do know he’s going to be on leave in Hawaii for a couple of weeks over the winter. Your father and I are thinking about visiting him there.” She grinned and waggled her eyebrows. “He’s dating a marine pilot, and we might get to meet her.”
“Dave is seeing someone? Wow, I really need to catch up with him. I’ve been in such a bubble up here.” She sighed and smiled. “It’s been nice, though.”
“I think you’ve had a nice distraction, too.”
“Distraction?” Melissa frowned slightly. “You mean Sula?”
Her mother nodded. “I know I told you yesterday, when I first saw you, that you looked good. I was thinking it was all this fresh air and sunshine, but when Sula came by to pick up your dad this morning, you were glowing when you saw her. And when she looked at you, her smile went up into her eyes, as they say. You’re the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time, Baby Bee.” Her mother smiled lovingly and reached over, settling her hand on the back of Melissa’s. “Are you girls serious?”
“Oh, God, Mom. Serious doesn’t quite describe it.” Melissa took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m in love.”
“It shows. What about her? How does she feel about you?”
“She loves me back.” The thought made Melissa giddy, and she smiled so wide her cheeks hurt.
“So how are you going to work it out?”
“What do you mean?”
“You live in Georgia, she lives up here—”
“I know. You don’t have to remind me.” Melissa didn’t mean to be curt, but the words came out sharply. “I honestly don’t know, Mom. We’re taking it one step at a time.”
“That’s never a bad thing,” her mother said, patting her hand. “Maybe you could get a job out here.”
“Mom…” Melissa said in a warning tone. She’d had this conversation with her mother before when she suggested she get a teaching job closer to home. She didn’t seem to understand how few tenure-track teaching positions existed and how very fortunate she was to have landed where she did right out of grad school. Most of her classmates hadn’t been so lucky and worked in thankless and woefully underpaid part-time positions or had given up on academia entirely.
Her mother removed her hand and changed the topic. “Hey. I found some more pictures and a few other things in your grandmother’s boxes I thought you might be interested in. I brought them with me.”
“Really?” Melissa pulse quickened. “I can’t wait to see them. I also want to show you the photos I took of Sula’s paintings.”
“I want to see those, but I’m not tearing myself away from this view to go inside. Not just yet anyway.”
“Fair enough,” Melissa said.
“Well now, look at those brookies. What fine fish!” Betty admired the dressed fish in Robert’s cooler. “I know what Lars and I are having for dinner. Thank you, Robert. It’s not every day you meet someone and they give you freshly caught trout!” Betty winked at Sula.
“It’s the least I can do in exchange for the opportunity to fish in such a beautiful place,” Robert said and nodded toward Sula. “And with such a good instructor.”
“You know, Sula learned from the best. Her grandmother was an avid fisherwoman, even tied her own flies. She beat the pants off any man around here.”
“Oh, I believe it.” Robert laughed.
“I’ve got a bag in the pantry to put the fish in.” She waved at Sula to follow her up the steps of her house. “Sula, come inside with me. They’re on a tall shelf, you can reach them for me.”
As Sula suspected, Betty didn’t need her assistance. She just wanted to get her away from Robert for a moment.
“So, how do you like your future father-in-law?” Betty cackled with laughter while grabbing a plastic bag from the box on the shelf.
“Oh, so you’re a fortune-teller now?” Sula huffed and then softened her tone. “I like Robert. He seems like a nice man, easy to get along with.”
“Like daughter, like father, eh?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Well, I guess you must like her a whole lot. Haven’t seen nor heard much of you lately, kiddo.” Betty grinned.
“Yes, I do.” Sula ran her fingers through her hair,
a nervous habit, as she followed Betty out of the kitchen. “I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch.”
Betty stopped abruptly and turned around. “Do not apologize, Sula. I’m happy for you. I really am.” She poked her playfully in the ribs with a finger. “I can’t resist teasing you a little.”
“Clearly.”
Betty accepted two smaller trout from Robert, refusing the bigger ones that he tried to offer, explaining that he should keep those to show off to his wife. He laughed, something he did easily and genuinely, just like Melissa, and told Betty that he liked how she thought and hoped they’d meet again someday. Betty agreed and waved good-bye as they drove off.
On the way back to the cabin, Robert was quiet for the first few minutes and then spoke tentatively.
“So…um…I understand you’re dating my daughter.”
Sula froze on the inside. What the hell? She hadn’t expected this conversation, and they’d certainly been doing a lot more than “dating.” That sounded like something teenagers did, but it was what they were doing, wasn’t it? She concentrated on driving and tried to speak in a calm voice. “Yes, we are.”
“As Melissa may have told you, I haven’t approved of all my daughter’s girlfriends.”
“No. She’s never mentioned that.”
“Really? Huh. Well, based on everything she’s said about you, and the time we’ve spent together today, I just wanted you to know that I like you.”
Sula wondered what exactly Melissa had told her parents. “I appreciate you telling me that, Robert. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you today.”
“It’s been a beautiful day, hasn’t it? Cool air, but warm in the sun. The sound of the creek was so soothing. When I close my eyes, I can still hear it. And those trout!” Robert shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the day he’d had. Thankfully, he shifted the tone and topic of their conversation. “How do you get anything done up here? I’d never want to go to work. I’d just want to drive around all day in this beautiful old Bronco. Reminds me of one I used to have.” He stroked the dashboard. “You really did a nice job on this restoration, by the way.”
“Thank you.” As they switched to the topic of cars, she relaxed. Although she really didn’t know much about them other than the importance of finding a good mechanic, she knew enough to keep the conversation going, and car talk took them the rest of the way to Melissa’s cabin. When they arrived, Melissa and Rachel were inside sitting next to each other on the couch, looking at something on Melissa’s laptop.
“Well, hello, you two!” Rachel said, looking up.
“Look at what I’ve got!” Robert showed them the contents of the cooler as he stepped through the door. “There’s one for each of us. Figured we could have surf and turf for dinner. Oh, wait…that doesn’t really work, does it? Stream and turf?” He frowned. “Hm. That doesn’t sound as good.”
“How about fish and filet?” Melissa said.
“Perfect!”
Rachel rolled her eyes and gave her husband a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed by. “I take it you had a good time?”
“It was amazing. I learned so much about casting and how to read the water. And I actually caught some fish. Caught and released several more, too.” Robert glanced at Sula and made eye contact with Melissa as he carried the fish to the kitchen. “You caught a good one, Melissa. I like her so much more than…what was her name? Terry?”
“Teresa,” Rachel said flatly.
“Yeah, her. She was kind of pretentious,” Robert said, putting the cooler on the counter.
“You never told me that before, Dad. I thought you liked her.”
“Yeah, well…” Robert glanced at Sula as if suddenly realizing he shouldn’t have this conversation with her present.
Rachel and Melissa turned simultaneously and looked at Sula with identical embarrassed smiles. Unsure of her role in this family banter and feeling uncomfortable, she remained in place, standing near the door.
“Sula, come in. You look like you’re going to bolt,” Rachel said, waving her in.
“Be careful or she might.” Melissa crossed the room and took Sula by the arm, pulling her forward. She pinched Sula’s chin and inspected each side of her face carefully. “Oh, good, no fishhooks. I can put the first-aid kit away now,” she said with a laugh. “Are you thirsty? I made iced tea after lunch. And there’s beer on ice.”
“A cold beer sounds great.”
“Sula, Melissa was just showing me pictures of your great-grandmother’s paintings. They are so beautiful. You must feel fortunate to have them.”
“Oh, I do. Thank you.” Sula accepted the bottle of ale Melissa offered her. “Like Melissa, I grew up with them and never ever get tired of looking at them.” She took a swig from the bottle. “I tend to look more at the summer scenes in the winter and the winter scenes in the summer.”
“Psychological air-conditioning. That’s funny,” Robert said, walking into the room, beer in hand. “Let’s sit outside and share stories about our day.”
“Oh, God. Fishing stories. I’m going to need a beer,” Rachel said, heading for the kitchen.
“Hey, Mom, grab one for me, too.”
On the deck, Sula listened quietly as Robert wove a narrative describing how they had waded the creek and fought off biting insects while working their way up it slowly, how they’d paused to eat apples and peanut-butter sandwiches streamside under the shade of a big pine tree, and then concluded with fishing the pool before calling it a day. Sula didn’t correct his slight embellishments, thinking it would be bad manners to do so, but also because his version of events was better and more entertaining. When Melissa asked if there was any part of the day he didn’t like, he told her about getting tangled up in the willows.
“I will not ever try to cast like that again,” Robert said. “There was a tree branch overhead, so I was trying to do a roll cast, and I’m not exactly sure what happened. I still can’t figure out how the line got wrapped around the willows and the fly stuck in the back of my vest. The more I tugged, the worse it got.”
“I’m not quite sure how you did that, either, and I watched you do it,” Sula said with a chuckle. She had smiled and laughed a lot today. Robert and Rachel made her feel comfortable, and her initial awkwardness meeting them had dissipated quickly. They asked her lots of questions about the conservancy and promised to stop by the visitors’ center before leaving Buckhorn. When Rachel suggested it was time to start preparing dinner, she was surprised at how much time had passed. Melissa had steaks and corn for the grill and a big watermelon cut into thick, juicy slices. The trout would cook fast and make a nice first course. Sula offered to start the fire in the fire pit on the deck that also served as a grill.
“Is there a fire ban here?” Robert asked.
“No, not right now,” Sula said, appreciating his concern. “And a fire pit like this one is pretty safe.”
“Sula has a police-officer friend who calls her Smokey, so I think we’ll be in capable hands.” Melissa said.
“Thank you for sharing that, Goldie,” Sula said with wide eyes and a smirk.
Rachel and Robert exchanged sideways glances and smiled at each other.
“I’m not even going to ask,” Robert said before asking Rachel if he could help her in the kitchen and following her inside.
Sula sat on the bench by the fire pit, balled up the newspaper lying next to it, and placed it in the center of the pit. She stacked the kindling carefully around it before lighting the paper. “I like your parents,” she said in between blowing gently on the fire, helping the wood catch flame.
“They like you, too. A lot. I can tell.” Melissa smiled sweetly. “Thanks, again, for taking my dad out today. That really meant a lot to him.”
“My pleasure.” Sula leaned back as soon as the flames took hold. “It was fun. I haven’t fished that way too often since my grandmother passed.”
“What do you mean? How else do you fish?”
Sula’s h
eart skipped a beat. That was a slip. She usually fished while in fur, with claws and teeth, not a rod and reel. She couldn’t honestly explain what she meant and scrambled to think of an appropriate response. “With another person, I mean. I usually fish alone.”
“Oh,” Melissa said, picking up her empty bottle and inspecting it. “You want another one?”
“Yeah, sure.”
While Melissa was inside, Sula mentally berated herself for letting her guard down like that. With Melissa, and now with her parents, it was so easy to forget that she wasn’t like them, or most people, for that matter. And it bothered her not to be able to answer Melissa truthfully. She had to be more careful. She questioned what she was doing, seemingly playing at having a normal relationship with normal people. She was many things, but normal she was not.
Melissa returned with the beer, interrupting her thoughts. She handed the amber bottle to Sula and combed her fingers through her hair, her touch energizing her nerves. It was as if she could feel the top of her head all the way down into her toes. She closed her eyes, savoring the sensation.
“You okay? You looked a million miles away when I walked through the door.”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” Sula said, opening her eyes to see Melissa regarding her with a tender expression. The steady gaze was intensely comforting, and her anxieties began to evaporate.
“I know meeting parents is stressful, even when it goes well. And you haven’t had a lot of experience with this sort of thing.” Melissa smiled and trailed a finger along the edge of Sula’s ear. It caused a delightful frisson, making it difficult to think about anything other than her touch. Melissa sat down next to her and leaned into her. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad I’m here, too,” Sula said quietly, and even with all her unexpressed fears, she meant it wholeheartedly. She put her hand on Melissa’s knee. She didn’t know why or how, but Melissa grounded and centered her, and her heart felt full to overflowing. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Chapter Twenty-three