by Mars Dorian
He wiped a few slides.
“No, I’m tracking down the Vorb-mania.”
“Ah yeah. Vorb sales.”
“You know, I’ve done the numbers and they don’t look right.”
Bam sipped his papaya shake.
“What do you mean?”
“Stax obviously tries to cash in with the Vorbs during the show,” Trigger said.
Bam nodded.
“Product placement on steroids.”
“Yeah, but the numbers don’t match. A Vorb costs about 500 credits, but according to my sources, it costs at least triple the amount to produce.”
“Really?”
“Stax loses hundreds of credits with every Vorb sold. Doesn’t sound like a sustainable business model to me,” Trigger said.
“Maybe he makes money on the backend, selling content and stuff. Apparently, you can play holographic movies with it.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Pause.
Then, more pause.
The conversation died down. Trigger switched to a new topic. Bam saw Whizzard about one hundred meters away, staying in line to grab some food.
“That guy is something else.”
Trigger nodded.
“He’s dangerous, we have to keep an eye on him. It’s a miracle he didn’t get busted for pointing the pistol at Mr. Jones. He puts the psycho in psychopath.”
“It’s for the views, man, Stax wants them, lots of them. The more degenerate the drama, the better. I bet he makes more Vorb sales this way.”
He looked at Trigger and smiled.
“I bet they snatched Whizzard from a mental institution. Casting requirement : caucasian with crooked smile. Must spit verbal acid and show abusive amounts of amoral behavior.”
Trigger grinned.
“Wouldn’t surprise me at all.”
“What’s up, ladies.”
Whizzard stood in front of his male teammates, crooked smile inclusive, holding a tablet with steak, potatoes and tomato juice. Bam sighed.
“What a coincidence, we were just talking about you.”
“Who isn’t? I seem to be the talk of the town.”
Trigger rolled his eyes. Whizzard sat down between the two, plunged the fork into his steak and pierced it till blood squirted out. He jammed the piece into his mouth and chewed it with mucho munching. A few drops of blood sprinkled onto the table.
“Now seriously, what’s up?”
“We were talking about Stax and his Vorb sales.”
“Ah yeah, damn Vorbs, floating around here and everywhere. Even now.”
He craned his head towards the upper right corner of the ceiling. A Vorb hummed in calm circles, probably filming them all.
“I didn’t even notice it,” Bam said.
“That’s the goal,” Whizzard said, took another bite from his bloody steak.
“It records everything without you ever noticing it. Brilliant, if you’re into that kind of stuff. I’m sure someone is.”
Bam frowned.
What the heck was that supposed to mean?
Whizzard wiped the gravy blood mix from his lips and swapped glances with Bam and Trigger.
“Imagine what you could find out if you had a three-sixty view of every Vorb user. Oh, the possibilities.”
He didn’t wait for the answer, maybe because it was a rhetorical question. Whizzard got up, took his plate and walked off.
“Sayoonara, suckers.”
“You too,” Bam said and turned his glance back to Trigger.
“What the heck was that about?”
Trigger shrugged.
“This guy is hard to gauge. You expect him to go one way and then he diverts into a different direction. He’s like a first generation 3D-printed gun. You never know what’s going to happen next.”
“Maybe he’s schizo,” Bam said.
Trigger squinted and watched Whizzard walking towards a different table.
“I think it’s something else.”
70
“Have you heard?”
Violet sighed, tried to enjoy her hot cocoa, but wherever she went, Elli was only a shadow length away. She turned around to the little freckle-faced girl.
“Another conspiracy?” Violet said.
“It looks like we’re going to be on another team mission tomorrow.”
“We?”
“Everyone. Apparently it will include some kind of fan involvement. I wonder what that entails.”
Violet raised her eyebrow.
“How do you know?”
“She’s manipulating crew members and snaps their secrets.”
Whizzard stood in front of the girls’ table and grabbed one of Violet’s cookies. It cracked between his teeth. Crunchy dee crunch.
He swapped looks with both girls and grinned.
“Who asked you?” Elli said.
Whizzard rolled his eyes.
“I asked myself.”
Elli snorted and turned volcano.
Whizzard ignored her minor outburst.
“Chill out, freckleface, I’m not here to hurt you.”
He sat down and crunched another cookie.
“Just want to see what’s going on with you. I figured our relationship is ripe for some nurturing.”
“We don’t have a relationship, and if we did, it would rank among the lowest, despicable, vilest human connections known to civilization.”
“Bravo, what a speech. You should try your hand at poetry some time.”
Whizzard winked at Violet.
“BTW — How did your secret talk with Stax turn out?”
Violet squinted her eyes, Whizzard licked his lips.
“What nonsense are you talking about?” Elli said.
Whizzard took another bite of the cookie.
“Oh, don’t you know? Sweet Violet got a private session with Stax. Some secret mumbo-jumbo talk. Probably an offer to win the Blogbuster.”
Elli turned to Violet with big, big eyes.
“Is that true? Tell me the crook is BS-ing again.”
Violet swallowed, delayed the answer. Word-smithing was crucial.
“I did visit him, but it had nothing to do with winning the Blogbuster.”
“What kind of deal did you agree to?” Elli said.
“I can’t talk about it, yet. But believe me, it has nothing to do with me winning this Blogbuster. I face the same odds as you.”
“Whatever.”
Whizzard rolled his eyes, took the last cookie and left the chair. To hell with this guy, Violet thought. The second he opened his mouth verbal poison vomited out. He’d been nothing but trouble since the day he limped into her life.
“Excuse me, ladies. I have some biz to take care of. We see each other at the tutorial.”
He waved them away and waltzed out the cafeteria. Violet exhaled. The air felt lighter and the tension vaporized. She turned to Elli who looked at her with a blank expression on her face.
Violet kept her voice calm.
“Whizzard is just being consistent with his asshole branding. Sometimes I think the guy’s job is to piss everyone off on purpose.”
Elli sighed.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the secret deal?”
“I wasn’t sure it was even going to happen. I didn’t even know what Roman wanted to see me for.”
Elli nodded, but her eyes didn’t look convinced. She put on her snowqueen look.
“Are you sure it has nothing to do with turning the odds into your favor?”
Violet shook her head.
“I told you, it has nothing, nothing to do with it. Pinky promise.”
She stopped herself. Why was she defending herself? She had nothing to prove to a manipulator like Elli. And yet somehow, freckleface could twist Violet’s mind around and inject shame where no shame was justified.
Elli motioned to leave.
“I trust you, sis, but next time, please tell me beforehand. Every information concerning the BB will help us. We need to work together. We
can’t allow them to bring us down.”
Sister speech, here it came again. A gospel preached to the choir that didn’t care. Violet waved Elli goodbye, turned back to her hot cocoa cup and embraced it with her palms. She took a sip and licked the extra cream on her lips. She watched Elli leaving the cafeteria while she enjoyed another sip. It was only her and Bam in the area, separated by three tables and a stare that could pierce lead.
71
Bam watched Violet. After three seconds, he felt like a stalker, so he broke the glance. But too late — the awkwardness had been noticed. He stood up and approached her table.
Bam landed a brilliant opener,
“What’s up.”
“Not much,” Violet said and took another sip.
Awkwardness, part II.
Bam didn’t bother to ask — he just sat down in front of her.
“How’s the Blogbuster working out for you?”
“I’m still in it.”
Like, d’uh.
“What do you think about the whole Vorb thing? Man, I felt dirty just selling them. I felt like a Stax sales puppet. But hey, you do what you have to do, right?”
Violet shrugged.
“It’s a commercial show.”
Bam nodded.
“You were really good at selling them.”
“No, I wasn’t. I was good at setting up the show. The sales happened as a byproduct.”
Bam nodded, part II.
“Have you checked out some of my videos by now?”
Violet stopped, took a sip from her drink.
“Had to.”
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re optimizing the little skill set you have.”
He grinned.
“They’re not as stylish as your fashion shows or slick techwear sketch vids, but a lot of peeps like them.”
“People like lots of stupid stuff.”
Violet stopped herself, as if to delete the lines she just brought over her lips.
Too late.
“Well, to each their own, I guess.”
Violet nodded with zero effort.
“Is this conversation going anywhere?”
Bam still had to find the answer to that one.
“I just want to warm up our relationship. It looked like it took a deep dive after the first talk in the shuttle bus.”
Violet looked at him with her trademark blank expression.
“What do you really want, Bam?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean,” Violet said.
Bam swallowed. Violet was as brash as ever. Every statement of her hit like a laser shot on his crumbling armor. Bam hesitated. Formed his lips into a speaking motion, said,
beep.
No, that was the sound of the Blogbuster Building intercom system.
Bam released a silent sigh.
Saved by the bell.
72
Beep, beep.
Laci announced the tutorial over the intercom. The vloggers assembled in the holoroom. Bam chose a seat close to the middle row and scanned the environment. He saw Violet, Fitnessy, Trigger and Elli Mental. Whizzard wasn’t to be found, Bam hoped it stayed that way.
Beep, beep.
Laci Steem marched into the room, decked out in tailored starfleet commander uniform. Bam chuckled and wondered from which dimension she snapped these outfits. Probably the ‘Anime Andromeda’ galaxy.
“Guten Morgen,” Laci said, “I’m glad you all could make it to our special tutorial session.”
Big deal, considering that failure to attend led to disqualification. Bam hoped Whizzard either overslept or got stuck somewhere on his way to the holoroom. Maybe a disgruntled fan that wanted to beat up Mr. crooksmile for good. Anything that would get rid of him for good.
But now Laci spoke.
“First of all, congratulations for making it through the first mission. I’m not going to play it politically correct here, but dang, some of you were pushing it. And I thought soap operas were melodramatic, heh.”
She walked around and maintained eye contact.
“Nevertheless, Stax reviewed each one of you and said you all could do better, way better.”
She pointed her index finger at Violet.
“You.”
She pointed it at Trigger and Bam.
“You.”
Laci pointed her finger at Fitnessy and Elli.
“You are all personal brands, whether you like it or not.”
“I don’t like it,” Elli said.
“Tough luck, sweetie. You better do or leave out the holoroom right now, because we’re gonna brand things up from now on. We’re going to brand until you’re unable to stand.”
“Why?” Elli said.
Laci smiled.
“Tomorrow at this exact time, you will be viewed by many more millions of viewers, old and new alike. You have seen the numbers from the first mission, well, double ‘em up, because they’re only going to skyrocket from now on.”
She paused.
“I thought this tutorial was obsolete, since you are all renowned vloggers in your own right. But Vorb footage has proven there’s a lot of catching-up to do. Remember, you will be judged by what you say, by what you do, and how you present yourself. It only makes sense to present yourself in the most favorable light possible. Hence this session.”
Some vloggers nodded. Laci projected a hologram of a branding sheet. The answers were covered beneath a layer of black.
“Now tell me, what’s the most important lesson in personal branding?”
Violet chimed right in.
“To create the most epic product you can possibly create. And to look good doing it.”
“Creating entertaining and informative content. Providing value to your audience,” Trigger said.
“Entertaining your audience whatever it takes,” Bam said.
Laci nodded at everyone as she shook her finger.
“Close, but not close enough. Branding, in a nutshell, is what you stand for.”
She jumped around, pulled up a 3D presentation of a fake brand.
“Your brand is the promise you make to your people. That’s why you have to ask yourself questions that dig down to your essence. Like, what is your goal? What purpose do you represent? What do you want people to associate when they hear your brand name? These are all questions you should ask yourself before tomorrow’s event. Remember, Stax not only wants someone who rocks at being his Head of Online Content, but also looks and acts the part. It’s one big package, you guys.”
Violet nodded, Fitnessy jotted down the notes on her eScroll. Laci formed the next sentence when Whizzard entered the holoroom and interrupted the session. Bam cringed in an instant and hoped tardiness would lead to his disqualification. He crossed his fingers. Whizzard shrugged.
“Sorry for being late, had some biz to take care of.”
Laci sighed.
“Don’t worry, find yourself a seat and listen up, yo.”
Bam clutched his teeth. That’s it? Find yourself a seat and perk your ears? No warning, no punishment?
“Bam?”
He broke out of his anti-Whizzard daydream.
“Yes?”
“Do you mind answering my question?”
He swallowed.
“Can you repeat it? I was thinking about tomorrow’s event.”
Someone in the background sighed. Bam knew who, but he decided to ignore him.
“I asked you what your personal tagline was,” Laci said.
“Crash and Bam,” Whizzard said before Bam could even think about opening his mouth.
He moved around and saw his crooked smile. This guy was ten seconds into the room and already cranked out jokes at Bam’s expense. Fail. The anti-Whizzad energy boiled up from within, right into Bam’s fingers that formed a fist. He calculated that at about three meters away from Whizzard, he could land a direct hit on his face. He could break his nose bone. Could, but sh
ouldn’t. Instead, he turned back to Laci who was still waiting for his answer.
“I don’t have a tagline.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I don’t have a tagline.”
Laci staggered. Her eyes rolled around, she needed to hold onto the projector to not stumble.
“You guys, I don’t understand. You’re all vlogging personalities and haven’t given thought to branding? That’s like the sun within your ego universe. You know what Roman Stax says, right?”
Everyone shook their head.
“He says, ‘Show me someone without a personal brand, and I show you a loser.’”
She locked eye contact with every single vlogger in the holoroom.
“And since you’re all competing for the Head of Online Content position, I assume none of you wants to be stuck in loser mode.”
A sigh went through the group.
“Ok, just to see how much you know about branding, I’m going to test you. Like right now, the very second you stare at me with your big vlogger eyes.”
She uploaded a questionnaire test on everyone’s eScroll display.
“Fill out these forms within the next thirty minutes. If you score eighty percent or above, you’re good to go. But if you score less, then we have to take serious measures. Ready?”
Disgruntled faces everywhere she looked.
“Wipe those smirks off your faces. The timer starts now.”
The room turned silent, except for the humming of the holo projection, and the vloggers swiping their way through the questions on their eScrolls.
They oo’d.
They ah’d.
Thirty minutes blurred by in a flash. Laci checked all the test results and announced them just as fast.
“Congrats, five of you achieved scores between eighty and ninety percent, one of you scored an abysmal seventeen percent. For the ones of you who did well, you’ll receive a digital branding video course which you should go through before tomorrow. Don’t worry, the lessons are going to be fun fun fun, and you know why?”
“Because they last one minute in total?” Whizzard said.
“No, because I’m in all of them. Yay.”
No one seemed to yay with her, but she was already used to that.
“You are all released as of now, but please keep in mind, you’re a media personality. So think about your taglines, your purpose and the kind of persona you want to represent.”
Every vlogger left their seats and headed towards the exit.