How could she ever have found him attractive? He was handsome, devastatingly so, but now she saw the lines of dissipation already marring his youthful features.
“Any regrets?” he asked.
She backed away from him, trying to figure out how to sidestep him and reach the door.
Tertius had given up his futile search for Gillian and was wandering back toward the ballroom when he caught a glimpse of a uniform through an open doorway.
He stopped when he heard his wife’s voice.
“Please, let me pass.”
“Gillian, the ice queen.” The major’s voice sounded slurred. “You aren’t afraid of me, are you?”
Gillian made an attempt to pass by the major, but he laughed and stepped in front of the doorway, but then he stumbled. This only made him laugh harder, and Sky realized how drunk the major was.
Sky took the major by the arm. “I believe you need a little air.”
“Wha—” Turning, he recognized Tertius, and his smile broadened. “Why if it isn’t the great Lord Skylar himself. The heir presumptive. I believe I should congra—gratulate you. Would that my older siblings would give up the ghost…and leave me with title and wealth…
“I told Gillian I wished her all the best…” His tone became more slurred. “Better than I could ha’ ever given her…tho’ I tried….”
Before he could say anything more, Tertius excused himself from Gillian and took Major Hawkes by the arm. He propelled him outside the mansion and didn’t let him go until he had seen him safely in a hack with directions to his lodgings.
Then he returned to Gillian. He found her where he’d left her, seated on a couch. Thankfully, she was alone.
As soon as she saw him, she rose and came toward him.
“I didn’t come to him. I swear it—” she pleaded.
“Don’t fret. I never thought you had,” he soothed her, touching her on the shoulder. “Come, sit a moment with me. The major is gone. He won’t bother you anymore this evening.”
When she’d regained her composure, she told him more quietly, “I had retired with a couple of other ladies to one of the rooms upstairs. When I came down, he was in the corridor, just lounging in the doorway there. He began addressing me.
“I didn’t realize he’d had so much to drink, and I didn’t want to make a scene, so I merely stepped in, thinking as soon as the corridor was empty, I would leave him.”
“I was afraid something like this would happen,” Tertius said grimly.
“Oh, Tertius, what am I going to do? I don’t want to cause you any scandal. What if I see him again?”
“Don’t worry your head about it. I’ll take care of things.”
She looked even more frightened. “Don’t do anything dangerous.”
He smiled. “I won’t, I promise.”
The following afternoon, Sky headed for the fencing academy. It was as likely a place as any to locate the major. Obviously, he needed to have a few things clarified to him.
He found him standing with a group of men who were watching a match between two of the members.
Sky walked up behind him and said quietly, “Good afternoon, Major Hawkes.”
The major turned to him with a smile, which died when he saw who greeted him.
“Ah, the good Lord Skylar. Forgive my condition yesterday evening. I believe I was a little the worse for drink.”
“Think nothing it of it. But it is best we keep away from the ladies when we are in such a condition,” Sky returned smoothly.
The major eyed him. “My apologies to the lady. I hope I didn’t alarm her unduly.”
Tertius inclined his head a fraction. “Apology accepted. Let us hope it will not happen again.”
“Let us hope.”
“I was wondering if you would care to try your hand at another match,” Tertius said, indicating the foil he held.
The major’s attention had been drawn back to the other fencers and now he looked down at the weapon before meeting Sky’s gaze once more.
Hawkes eyed him with a measure of amusement. “Another match?”
“Yes. You remember you had the best of me some months back. I would appreciate the opportunity to have another go.”
Hawkes lifted a black eyebrow. “I heard you’d been quite ill. Are you sure you’re up to it?” he asked, only a trace of insolence evident in his dark blue eyes.
“As I heard you were wounded, we shall be evenly matched,” Tertius replied, feeling the tip of his foil.
“My wound is not on my sword arm,” Hawkes countered. When Skylar said nothing, he answered, “Very well, Lord Skylar. I am prepared to stop anytime you wish.”
Sky gave a slight bow of his head. “That is most kind of you.”
The two withdrew from the area and found an available room for their own match.
Sky knew he was still not up to form, although he’d been working out almost daily with Nigel. He asked the Lord’s grace to see him through without having to forfeit the match. He had no desire to fight the major; he wanted only to defend his wife’s honor.
The two men assumed position. As Tertius eyed his opponent, he felt only disdain for the man who would take a young lady’s honor and then not do the gentlemanly thing and marry her.
As they moved back and forth across the floor, Sky met each thrust with a parry. But despite his wound the major was fit, and again Sky felt himself tire before he detected any signs of fatigue in his opponent.
He admired the man’s stamina. After his weeks in Belgium, a wounded arm, and now a night’s excessive drinking, he still fought as if his foil were an extension of his arm.
As Tertius found his own strength slipping, he asked the Lord’s help to finish the match.
As he thrust his foil at the major, and took only a split second to wipe the sweat from his brow, the major immediately feinted. Tertius read his intentions correctly and parried where his thrust was intended.
They continued their silent dance back and forth.
It came to Sky, as he attempted a sudden feint and managed to trick the major with his move, that he would win. He didn’t know how he was so certain, because the major showed no indication as yet of tiring, but the assurance didn’t leave him.
His resolve strengthened, and he continued thrusting and parrying. Fine beads of sweat broke out on the major’s wide forehead, and the look of intense concentration began to be replaced by one of desperation.
Finally, the opportunity came and with a final thrust, Sky knocked the major’s foil out of his hand.
It went clattering beyond him as the major staggered backwards.
“Touché,” Tertius said, his foil pressed gently against the major’s heart.
“Yes, indeed,” Hawkes agreed with a slight smile.
“I will only say this once,” Sky told him softly. “I want you to swear to me that you will stay away from Lady Skylar. You will not address her in any way familiar nor treat her with the slightest disrespect. If not, the next time, it won’t be a match fought at Angelo’s but at Wimbledon Common at dawn. Is that understood?”
The major’s slight smile never wavered. “You have my word as an officer and a gentleman.”
Tertius raised an eyebrow. “You have fought bravely on the battlefield, but you have been no gentleman at home.”
Blue eyes stared into his for a tense moment. The flash of outrage left as suddenly as it had come, replaced by a look of bleakness that caught Tertius short.
In that instant, Tertius recognized his former self. Clearly, the major was battling some demons of his own.
Tertius remembered the cries of despair that had come to him from the pit of darkness. Compassion replaced the disdain he’d felt for the major. It was a compassion so deep he was tempted to reach out to this man.
But he knew the major wouldn’t accept his sympathy. Not yet. He knew better than anyone what it was to need help and not acknowledge it.
“You are right,” Major Hawkes said. “I have
been no gentleman. My sincerest apologies to the lady I offended.” The words were spoken so softly no one but Sky would hear them.
Then the desolate look in his eyes was replaced by the air of nonchalance that had characterized the beginning of their match. Hawkes was once again the careless hero.
Sky felt a conviction to pray for him. The verse came back to him, pray for those which despitefully use you. How the Lord had shown him the truth of this command.
Sky withdrew his foil, and the two men stepped apart. The major wiped the sweat from his forehead with his shirtsleeve then bent to retrieve his own foil. They both rolled down their sleeves. Before they parted, Hawkes approached Sky again.
“They say the best man wins. My congratulations to you and Lady Skylar. I wish you both much happiness.”
Sky bowed his head in acknowledgment.
When he came home that evening, Tertius greeted Gillian with a kiss.
“How was your day?” she asked him.
He felt a surge of gladness at the warm smile she gave him, a smile that would be there to greet him at each day’s end.
“Quite satisfactory. Is anyone coming for dinner this evening?” he asked.
“No one tonight.”
“And Father?”
She played with the pin in his neck cloth. “He told me he was dining at White’s. He said that he had no business hanging around here with a pair of lovebirds who’ve scarcely had a chance to be alone together since arriving in London.”
“Dear old Father,” Tertius said with a chuckle.
“He is a dear,” she insisted as Tertius took her arm and led her in to dinner.
He had planned on not telling her anything of his match with the major, but found himself saying as they walked toward the dining room, “You won’t have to worry about Major Hawkes anymore.”
She stopped and looked at him in alarm. “What do you mean?”
“He has apologized and promised not to seek you out again.”
She frowned at him. “You fought him, didn’t you? You promised me you wouldn’t do anything dangerous!”
“Just a friendly sporting match at Angelo’s.”
“You could have been hurt,” she said accusingly.
He smiled. “But I wasn’t.”
“You should have told me what you planned to do.”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” he said, stopping any further comments with a kiss.
“So,” he said when he could speak again, “I think we can put the major behind us, squarely in the past, along with all the other ghosts which might have troubled us. All right?”
He smiled into her eyes, and she smiled back, telling him she understood.
“I shall never tire of the pretty way you flush when you are pleased,” he told her, touching her pink cheek.
“And I shall never tire of telling you that I love you.”
The words took him by surprise. “I’ve waited a long time to hear those words.”
Her blush deepened as she admitted shyly, “I couldn’t say the words until now. I didn’t feel my love could be worth anything, but…since praying that prayer with you, I feel I can offer it to you.”
“Oh, my dearest Gillian,” he said, drawing her into his embrace, “I shall be forever grateful to God that He has given you to me.”
“That He has given us to each other,” she corrected. They looked at each other, acknowledging the gift of love, constant and unwavering.
Abiding love. It would endure over their past and future, over pride and petulance and bad temper. Only by loving One greater than themselves could they enjoy this kind of love.
They squeezed hands, too astounded by the miracle, the reality, of love to speak.
There they were, joined not by mutual regard or attraction or need, although those feelings played a part, but by what was stronger: they were joined as two into one by spirit, through the knowledge and partaking of God’s Spirit. His Spirit would shape and deepen their love for the coming years and into all eternity.
Questions for Discussion
1) What is revealed about the hero, Lord Skylar, in the first chapter? For example, does Skylar have a good relationship with his father? How would you characterize it? What impressions do you get of Skylar’s defense mechanisms?
2) Gillian takes an immediate dislike to Sky, finding him cold and arrogant. His age and recent illness are other strikes against him. What do Lord Skylar and Lady Gillian have in common? What are the advantages to marrying Lord Skylar?
3) Fear is a great motivator in Gillian’s actions. What does it propel her to do? What is another motivator in her life?
4) What kind of turning point does the dog-rescue episode mark for Sky and Gillian? Which gesture went further toward softening Gillian toward Sky: the jewels he gave her or the dog collar for Sophie? Why? What did this gift, as well as his agreeing to take Sophie, reveal about his true nature?
5) When do we get hints that Sky might not be the aloof gentleman he reveals to the world, but that there is a toughness and inflexibility within?
6) When Sky’s half sister, Althea, comes to nurse Sky, he rejects her love. How are the tables turned on him when Sky offers his love to his estranged wife? What valuable lessons must be learned from this?
7) During his convalescence on their Yorkshire estate, Sky believes nothing he does to Gillian changes her attitude toward him. What is the Lord doing to Gillian in the meantime? How does this involve learning to walk in faith on Sky’s part?
8) Why is giving Gillian her freedom (to leave him) so important? How does this reflect God’s love for us?
9) What test does Gillian subconsciously demand before she can fully trust the new Sky not to hurt her ever again?
10) What is the meaning of the last paragraph of the story, that Gillian and Sky’s love is based on their partaking of God’s Spirit, beyond their own mutual like, attraction and need? Why is this former love more abiding than the others?
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5759-1
DAWN IN MY HEART
Copyright © 2006 by Ruth Axtell
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Dawn in My Heart Page 28